The art of speaking: rejecting employees’ unreasonable demands

The art of speaking: rejecting employees’ unreasonable demands

8. Reject unreasonable requests from employees

For some unreasonable requests made by employees, managers must refuse when it is time to refuse. Otherwise, if your psychological weakness is caught by others, it will be difficult to carry out your work, and you will be ineffective.

One sentence to make people laugh

In the UK, there was a soldier who did not want to serve, so he looked for various excuses to retire.

Once, he said to the military commander: You see, I am thin and weak. I am definitely no match for the enemy in hand-to-hand combat on the battlefield, so I am not suitable to be a soldier.

The military commander said: It doesn't matter. After a period of military training, your physical fitness and skills will be greatly improved; not to mention that today's war is a modern war and generally does not require hand-to-hand combat.

The soldier immediately said: But I am not tall.

The military commander smiled and said: This is better. He was tall, and his head exposed outside the trench was likely to be hit by the enemy's stray bullets.

The soldier quickly said: Sir, I can't run fast. When I charge, I always fall behind others!

The military commander said: It doesn't matter. We will blow the charge horn after you get under the enemy's nose first.

When the soldier saw that these reasons did not work, he became anxious and hurriedly argued again: Sir, I am color blind and can't distinguish colors clearly. How can I go to the battlefield?

The military commander said: Young man, this is your advantage. Once you are injured and bleed in battle, and you cannot distinguish between red and white, this will not overly stimulate you. of brain nerves.

When the soldier found that it still didn't work, he came up with his last resort: Sir, I am short-sighted. You can't let a person who can't even aim at the target go to the battlefield, right?

The military commander smiled slightly: Then I will send you to the forefront position. You can always see the enemy!

The soldier was speechless.

From the beginning, the military commander understood that the soldiers’ real intention was to find an excuse to no longer serve. He did not directly criticize and accuse the soldiers, but used language skills to expose the other party’s intentions. He achieved his goal again.

One sentence can make people jump.

Zhang Li is the general manager of a company. On this day, Zhang Li met employee Xiao Li unexpectedly in the corridor of the company office. Xiao Li hurriedly stopped and said: Oh, Mr. Zhang, I finally met you after a long time. There is a question that I have always wanted to ask you for advice on what to do. Next, he reported the problem like this. Soon, Zhang Li understood that this problem should actually be solved by Xiao Li himself and should not trouble others. But Zhang Li thought that he could not disappoint this subordinate who was eager to get things done, so he listened very carefully. But in fact, he was also anxious because he had very important matters to deal with. After a few minutes, Zhang Li looked at his watch and said: Oh , I'm sorry, I have something urgent to deal with right now. It seems that I won't be able to answer your question for a while. So be it! Let me think about it and get back to you in two days, okay?

Zhang Li hurriedly left, unknowingly carrying a heavy psychological baggage.

Two days later, Xiao Li called as scheduled: Mr. Zhang, what do you think I should do about the issues I asked you for advice two days ago? In the rush, Zhang Li thought for a moment before remembering what he was talking about. Oh, I'm really sorry. I've been very busy these past two days and haven't had the time to think about this issue yet. Can you check back in a few days?

No problem, no problem. Xiao Li seemed very considerate.

A week later, Zhang Li received another call from Xiao Li. Before he could speak, Zhang Li felt very sorry and once again asked Xiao Li for a few days of grace.

At this moment, Zhang Li seemed a little anxious, because now his heart was full of guilt.

The traditional management concept is that bosses must be more capable than subordinates. Therefore, many managers are afraid that their subordinates will think that they are incompetent and incompetent. However, as everyone knows, the results are often counterproductive.

Action Guide

Generally speaking, subordinates will be troubled or worried when making certain requests to managers because they are worried about being rejected and whether they will be judged. . Therefore, before making a decision to refuse, managers should consider the feelings of their subordinates and avoid being blunt. Managers can understand the situation of subordinates and make targeted suggestions to subordinates so that they can obtain appropriate support from other people or the organization. If the suggestions or alternatives proposed can be effectively implemented and the other party finds a better solution under your guidance, they will definitely be grateful to you.

When you first say no, your tone should be firm, but your attitude must be gentle and tactful. It's like a pill, sugar-coated on the outside to make it easier to take. Similarly, rejections expressed gently and tactfully are more likely to be accepted.

There is such a story. The manager was busy with the delivery. Suddenly the female assistant came over and asked for two hours of leave. The reason was that the electrical appliances ordered at the mall over the weekend were delivered today and she had to go home. Go to acceptance.

When encountering this situation, many managers will choose one of the following two ways to deal with it: one is to refuse categorically, without considering the feelings of the female assistant, because this request is very inappropriate; the other He reluctantly agreed to her request without offending her, and at the same time acted as a good person.

Although the above two methods of handling are feasible, they are not optimal. The first one will strain the relationship between superiors and subordinates and demoralize subordinates. The second one will make the work progress slow down. hysteresis.

If the manager weighs the situation and believes that the female assistant should not be allowed to fake at that time, then how should he refuse without causing adverse consequences or minimizing the adverse consequences? ?

Experienced managers will choose to say this: You also know that if it were normal times, I would definitely allow you to take leave and let you go home to do things. However, today's situation is quite special. If we cannot deliver the goods before tomorrow as agreed, we will not suffer losses, but we will also lose a major customer. You are my assistant. You don't want this to happen, right? What do you think: you call the store and ask them to reschedule the time, such as tomorrow afternoon. This way, we will not delay our delivery and you will have enough time to handle your personal matters.

In fact, it is possible that this answer does not satisfy the subordinates completely, but the manager has at least chosen the best way to deal with it. This way of handling can reflect four benefits: First, the manager did not directly reject the subordinate's request, but let her know that he had seriously considered it. Second, the manager clearly let the subordinate know why he did not Approve her request for leave. Third, let her subordinates know her own importance and that her leave will affect the company's business, which can improve the morale of her subordinates. Fourth, provide solutions to subordinates and help them deal with difficult problems.

Therefore, managers must learn to say no and master the skills to refuse appropriately, so that they can adhere to their own work principles without hurting the self-esteem of their subordinates, and can also stimulate their enthusiasm for work.

Let us look at some examples below:

(1) A capable subordinate asked to change departments. You should show concern for your subordinate's request for a transfer. This will help mitigate the hurt of the rejection. For example, you can find time to talk to him and ask him why he wants to be transferred. You may find that the reason why he really wants to be transferred is not necessarily work-related. It may be that the relationship with a colleague is not handled appropriately, there are some misunderstandings, or it may be that some difficulties or problems can only be solved through transfer. . Therefore, only through communication can we know where the problem lies, and then discuss with the subordinate *** how to solve the problem, so that he can voluntarily give up the idea of ??asking for transfer.

If after this conversation, you still cannot make him change his mind about transfer, for the benefit of the company and the department, you must reject him, but you must fully consider the negative impact it will bring to him, so as to try your best. possible to reduce this damage. You can say this: We can't adjust it now. Let's see if there is a chance in a month or two. This will give the subordinate a glimmer of hope and will not make him depressed. Moreover, doing so also buys you time to consider other possibilities, during which time the subordinate's mind may change.

(2) The subordinate’s request for leave cannot be approved.

There are usually two situations that prevent a boss from approving a subordinate's vacation request: one is that the subordinate's vacation request disrupts the original vacation arrangement and he does not act in accordance with the regulations; the other is that the vacation during this time period has been pre-arranged for other people. Subordinate.

If it is the first situation, you should clearly let the subordinate know that he has not followed the rules. You can tell him: The company chooses to arrange a vacation plan in January every year because it takes into account the work plan for the whole year. You know that the week you want to take a vacation is the time to take inventory, and no one can be missing. Therefore, it is very difficult to Feel sorry.

When encountering the second situation, that is, when a subordinate's request for leave conflicts with the pre-arranged leave of others, the subordinate must understand that the company's principle for granting leave is to apply first and arrange first. His request cannot be granted. Of course, if he obtains the consent of the colleague who has already arranged for vacation, the company can allow them to change the vacation date.

(3) Subordinates want to change their commuting time. Subordinates often encounter some time problems, such as taking care of children, transportation problems or various other matters. It is good to cooperate with subordinates and help them overcome temporary difficulties. It is good for your subordinates to be grateful to you, but sometimes it is not. If you must refuse, you must consider how to say no so that your subordinates will not think that you are indifferent to his actual difficulties.

When encountering this kind of problem, you should be as flexible as possible when dealing with it, and work with your subordinates to find solutions. In this way, even if his request is rejected by you in the end, your subordinates will not be dissatisfied with you. Resentful because he feels that you have indeed tried your best for this matter.

Sometimes there will be a situation where you allow a subordinate to leave work early, but at the same time refuse the request of other subordinates to leave early, in order to avoid them misunderstanding that you are not principled or have a sense of responsibility. If you are partial, you must explain the reasons to your subordinates and get their understanding.

(4) Subordinates request for a salary increase or promotion. When a subordinate musters up the courage to come up to you and ask for a raise or promotion, you need to understand that it is not an easy thing. So at this time, you should calmly invite your subordinate to sit down and let him tell you the reasons for doing so and understand his true thoughts. If rejection is required, your reasons for rejection must be specific and persuasive. For example, tight budgets, slow business, or other factors prevent you from rewarding their efforts.

It should be noted that when dealing with this type of problem, be sure not to write blank checks indiscriminately and irresponsibly make promises that exceed your authority. If a request is too tactful, it is most likely to be rejected

If a request is too tactful, it is most likely to be rejected

Many people think that making requests to the boss is tantamount to pulling teeth out of the tiger's mouth, so many people are making requests. They are always timid and do not dare to boldly put forward their own ideas. If you have a request, you should first let go of your timidity and timidity, and have the courage and confidence to put forward your own ideas. If you don't even dare to think about it, how can you succeed?

Liu Hui and Li Wei are colleagues who joined the company together and are also good friends. Due to better development, Li Wei submitted his resignation to his boss and prepared to change jobs. The night before changing jobs, he invited Liu Hui to have dinner with him. Because they were good friends and colleagues, when they talked about speculation, Li Wei revealed some inside information about the company to Liu Hui, but this made Liu Hui unable to calm down anymore.

The company they worked for was a large company with a certain scale and reputation, so there were a lot of people applying for the job. They were the lucky ones among this group of people. As soon as they applied for the job, they immediately made the decision to join the internship. Before the term expired, they were both retained by the company and signed as regular employees. However, when the internship period expired, the benefits they had been waiting for had not been implemented. The boss's promise had not yet been fulfilled, but he only gave some spiritual encouragement. Liu Hui originally thought that Li Wei changed jobs because he was tired of this kind of day and night work and the salary was not high, but Li Wei told Liu Hui that his departure was mainly because he wanted to seek better development, not because of the salary. It is very low, because his salary has already been 4,000 yuan, not the original 1,500 yuan.

Speaking of this, Liu Huicai was surprised to say that he had never received a salary increase since joining the company. Li Wei said meaningfully: You are really stupid. You only know how to work hard, but you don't know how to make reasonable demands to the boss. You don't value your own labor. If it were anyone else, they would either not work overtime, or they would have received a raise long ago.

Two months after my internship ended, I asked my boss for a salary increase. After talking to me alone, my boss raised my salary to 2,000 yuan. About half a year later, I went to see my boss again, saying nothing more than saying that personal and collective interests should be directly proportional. This time, my salary was raised to 3,000 yuan. Six months later, the company's profits increased significantly, and we all contributed a lot, so I talked to the boss alone again. He was unwilling to raise his salary anyway. Later, I gave him the salary data of employees in the same industry across the country. His salary was increased to 4,000 yuan, because after every conversation, he made special care to keep me quiet, otherwise the company would be in chaos, and it would be of no benefit to me. Considering my personal interests, I didn't tell you. Now that I'm leaving, telling you this secret, I really feel like you've suffered too much.

Li Wei's words made Liu Hui think about it all night. When he went to work the next day, after careful consideration, he finally submitted a written report on the salary increase to his boss and told his boss that he and Li Wei After talking about it, the boss felt quite embarrassed. He said, took the report and left. The next day, his boss called him to the office and told him to give him a salary increase next month. In fact, Li Wei is right. Although the company is not small and has huge profits, this kind of boss can always avoid the issue of salary increase and muddle along, just like squeezing out toothpaste. If you mention it, he will think of it. If you don't even think about your own interests, he won't have time to think about it for you.

In fact, to put it bluntly, the workplace is a platform for fair transactions. Since you have made efforts, you should enjoy corresponding treatment. If there is a question about treatment, you should list the rewards for the same work as you, and give examples of others who are treated reasonably, and ask your boss to tell you the reasons. If communication is ineffective, you can go directly to your boss’s superior. Usually bosses are not willing to make cross-level reports from ordinary employees. The big boss will trust the middle managers he selects. However, when you feel that the problem cannot be solved, you still have to have the courage to change the situation and say no to your immediate boss.

Chen Dayong joined a company as soon as he stepped out of school. Since he had just graduated and had no work experience, his salary was the lowest in the company. However, Chen Dayong believes that his salary will increase little by little. But half a year later, his salary still has not increased. So, he began to vaguely mention this issue in front of his boss. Unexpectedly, his boss just pretended to be stupid, which made Chen Dayong a little at a loss.

One day, there were only two people in the office, Chen Dayong and his boss. Chen Dayong deliberately mentioned that the rent has increased again this month, and the price of vegetables has also increased. The implication is, when will my salary increase?

The boss said with a smile: The overall economic environment outside is like this now. The layoff crisis is so prevalent. It is lucky to have a stable job with a good income! Stop complaining and work hard!

Officials from many administrative, public and corporate units, including private enterprise owners, will often mention at staff meetings: There are so many people looking for jobs now. Everyone should work hard and cherish their jobs. , there is no shortage of people in our unit, otherwise, it will be difficult to say anything. It is not difficult to see that the subtext of this sentence is: If you don't do what I do and pick and choose, you will be fired. Under this warning with an ellipsis, for ordinary professionals who have no power and are not wealthy, putting their tail between their legs is undoubtedly the wisest approach.

In order not to lose one's job, in order to keep one's job, it has almost become a common problem for people in the workplace to be patient and swallow one's breath. However, due to the long-term lack of autonomy of many employees and the lack of the idea of ??fighting for reasonable interests, coupled with the antipathy formed since ancient times, The fear of power holders makes most people only dare to think, dare not say, let alone do. There are also some people who want others to come forward and enjoy the benefits without taking any risks. Therefore, even if some employees dare to make their own requests, they always choose the most tactful way of expression due to the consistent behavioral habits and psychological methods of the Chinese people. You know, many bosses take advantage of employees' shyness to proactively safeguard their legitimate rights and interests and boldly make their demands, and do whatever they want without restraint.

Many people believe that all injustices lie in the imperfection of the system. As long as the system is perfected, various problems will be easily solved.

Although the system is important, the reality is not that simple. No matter how perfect the system is, it is still people who implement it. Not to mention how many things in the world cannot be taken care of by the system at all? In addition, the improvement of the system must be promoted by people who are willing to devote themselves to their ideals, and a person who does not understand how to behave in the world and does not understand the art of politics may die before he can become a teacher. If you can't save yourself from fire and water, how can you help people in the world get out of trouble?

Therefore, if you want to get your due share in the workplace, you must first correctly evaluate your role and contribution in the enterprise. What are my qualifications in the company? How important is it to my boss? What projects have I successfully completed recently? How much profit have these projects brought to the company? What contributions do you think you will make to the company in the future? What are your plans for leaving? Correctly evaluate yourself whether it will bring some kind of loss to the company, and confirm whether your requirements are likely to be realized. At the same time, it is best to prepare a written work report for yourself to make a correct estimate of your actual contribution to the company. Remember, the boss values ??more the employee's contribution to the company. To ensure victory, you also need to evaluate your current salary level. The best way is to compare it with your peers in the market, so that you can gain the rights you deserve more objectively.

Additionally, you should be bold and direct with your requests. For those shrewd bosses who are good at Tai Chi, many employees will pretend to be dumbfounded after many employees put forward their requests tactfully, and the final request can only be kicked back like a ball. Therefore, it must be raised head-on and directly, leaving the boss no room for maneuver. Only when you psychologically overwhelm the other party with strong courage can your request be adopted. The art of speaking: striking up a conversation with the person of the opposite sex you like

The art of speaking: striking up a conversation with the person of the opposite sex

Talking between lovers

1. Talking with the person of the opposite sex Picking up a conversation

How to avoid missing the opportunity when you meet the person of the opposite sex you like requires some wisdom in communication and some control over the situation. In fact, when interacting with the opposite sex, if you follow their likes and seek common ground while reserving differences, they will always grow from being raw to getting to know each other well.

One sentence makes people laugh

Xiaoli worked in a storage room on a university campus. Wu Jiang, a young teacher, liked her very much and went to the bank window every now and then to make small deposits. This caused a stir Xiaoli's attention and curiosity.

One day, Wu Jiang came to the bank to deposit money again. The difference this time is that while saving money, Wu Jiang also handed over a note: Beautiful girl, for a year, I have been saving my feelings seriously, hoping that one day I can get generous interest. Now, I think the time for partial deposit and round withdrawal has come. Please pay me the principal with interest. What is the redemption rate? At six o'clock in the afternoon, I'll be waiting for you at the door of the bank when you get off work. Signed is a devout saver.

Xiaoli was moved by Wu Jiang’s humorous language and happily went to the appointment after get off work.

Wu Jiang used this humorous way to successfully capture the hearts of beauties. Of course, Wu Jiang's perseverance also played a big role.

One sentence can make people jump

At a party, Wang Yan, who was single, had a crush on Li Jun, who was also single, so she took the initiative to talk.

I heard that you work in a government agency. What is your annual salary? Wang Yan asked.

I feel that salary is not important when I first join the workforce. What I value more is training myself at work. Obviously, Li Jun was unwilling to answer Wang Yan's question.

How much is it? I'm very curious. Wang Yan is still chasing after her.

I have very little left after paying off my mortgage every month. Li Jun frowned. He felt a little disgusted with Wang Yan: He didn't even know the taboo against directly asking others about their income. It was really immature.

Oh, you bought a house. So how much do you pay every month? Wang Yan seemed very happy.

What, you want to help me pay back half of it? Li Jun was obviously unhappy and his tone was a bit mocking. The situation suddenly became awkward.

Everyone has a part of themselves that they don’t want to show others. Just like a woman’s age, income is also the most private part of a man’s life.

Because a man's income represents his ability to a certain extent, no matter what class he is in, men are not willing to let others ask about his income.

It is very taboo to discuss the other party's income during the first conversation. Wang Yan had a good impression of Li Jun, but her rash question about Li Jun's income left a very philistine and immature impression on Li Jun.

Action Guide

When many people meet the opposite sex they like, they long for the opportunity to have further interactions, but they don’t know how to speak or what to say, even if they are originally talkative and humorous. , interesting people can also become dull, taciturn or even at a loss. In fact, you don't need to be so nervous, and don't close your emotions and soul. If you think the other person is good, boldly express your sincerity to him. Being secretive, wanting to ask but not asking, wanting to say but not speaking, will only turn the originally beautiful encounter into an awkward and embarrassing encounter, which is meaningless.

Once you find the person of the opposite sex you like, you can take the initiative to say hello and say hello, and try to expand the topic without being silent. Maybe before you speak, you still have an inferiority complex about your body shape, appearance and other external conditions, but if you show a character that makes the other person like you as soon as you speak, the other person may be attracted to you and not pay attention to you. external conditions.

This is especially true for men. You must understand that girls like boys who are bold, straightforward and sincere. As long as you grasp the principles of praise and praise and make her feel happy and sweet after hearing it, you will definitely be able to continue dating. It will be more effective if you can observe her words and demeanor to understand her psychology and hobbies before speaking, and speak in a targeted manner.

When looking for topics to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex, you should use the topics that the other party is interested in and choose those interesting things in life. This can not only shorten the distance between each other, but also make it easier to produce sexual intercourse. , add friendly elements, such as choosing some topics that are more relaxed or about campus life.

In addition, when talking to the opposite sex you like, you should also stimulate the other person's interest in talking. Some girls don't like to use their brains. When a boy talks to her first, he will always answer with yes or no, no matter how you ask, he will always answer simply. At this time, you should be more patient and continue to attack. Slowly you will find the topics that interest her and make the conversation very enjoyable.

It should be noted that when striking up a conversation with the opposite sex you like, you should not be too direct. On the one hand, it is because the feelings of the two sexes are different, and on the other hand, it is due to the factors of the social environment. Therefore, we should try to start from the other person's perspective, try to feel the other person's feelings first, try to consider the differences between the sexes, and think twice before speaking. This will help the language to be expressed more artistically and more in line with the other person's needs. The art of speaking between strangers: Don’t be superfluous when speaking

The art of speaking between strangers: Don’t be superfluous when speaking

Zi Qin once asked his teacher Mozi : Are there any benefits to talking too much? Mozi replied: The frog crows day and night, making the mouth dry, but people don't like to hear it. And when the rooster crows at dawn, everyone in the world is woken up! What are the benefits of talking too much? That's exactly what happened.

One sentence to make people laugh

Pop star Wang Leehom and piano master Lang Lang had a collaborative performance in Hong Kong. The two were not familiar with each other before, and Wang Leehom thought Lang Lang was a taciturn literary young man. Unexpectedly, after the meeting, Lang Lang was silent: Leehom, you are the descendant of the dragon, and I am the descendant of the wolf (Lang). This opening statement immediately brought the two young people closer together.

With such a sentence, Lang Lang left a good impression on Leehom Wang. Wang Leehom said on many occasions: Lang Lang is the easiest and most enthusiastic classical musician I have ever seen!

Between two strangers, an unusual opening statement can make a difference in a conversation and leave a lasting impression.

One sentence makes people jump

On the bus, a young migrant worker carrying a big bag held a map in his hand. His face was full of confusion. He was coming from out of town. He hesitated for a while and asked the conductor: Master, where should I get off the bus?

The conductor said impatiently: You are sitting in the wrong direction, you should take the bus back.

The conversation should have ended here, but the conductor just said one more thing: I can’t even understand the map, what else can I do?

Of course the young man from out of town heard it, but he just smiled and prepared to get out of the car. However, the old man sitting nearby couldn't listen anymore. He glanced at the conductor, turned to the young man from out of town and said: Actually, you don't have to sit back, you can just sit a few stops ahead and change trains. The old man's words ended here, but he just said one more thing: The education of today's young people is really bad!

There were so many young people in the car, and the impact of these words was so broad that a young girl standing next to the uncle couldn't help it: Uncle, is this wrong? After all, the uneducated ones are in the minority! The young girl said nothing, but she couldn't help but add another sentence: Many people of your age may seem kind, but their stomachs are full of bad water!

At this time, a middle-aged woman answered again: You, a girl, are so young, why do you talk to the elderly like this? You should be polite after all! The middle-aged woman's criticism was correct, but she added one more thing: Look at what you're wearing, I guess your parents can't control you even if they want to, you're dressed like a goblin. As soon as he said these words, it was like dropping a bomb. Naturally, the young girl couldn't swallow this breath, and the car suddenly seemed to explode.

At this time, the bus arrived at the station, opened the door, and the conductor said: Everyone, stop arguing. Those who should get off the bus should get off quickly, and don’t delay your own business. However, he didn't forget to add one more sentence: If you really want to make a quarrel, just get out of the car and make a quarrel. Don't you bother me?

If everyone on the bus had forgotten the last words they said, I believe this war of words would never have happened. In fact, many times, just because of that last sentence, two people who were originally at peace with each other become opponents and enemies, and a conversation turns into a conflict. Remember, once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back. We advocate having good eloquence, but we remind you to always control your words. If you talk too much, you will make mistakes. Don't pay a heavy price for a moment of eloquence.

Action Guide

Misfortune comes from the mouth and ruins a person's reputation, but good fortune comes from the heart and brings glory to a person. Sometimes the person speaking does not have any malicious intent, but just wants to show off his or her tongue for a while, but to the listener, it may be hurtful to him. It is better to keep your mouth shut and make people doubt your shallowness than to prove your shallowness as soon as you open your mouth. This is a famous saying worth remembering.

Some small misunderstandings or frictions between people are normal in an increasingly diversified society. Broad-minded people will generally forget about it, but not everyone does. Have such a big heart. In interpersonal communication, it is often seen that some quarrels originate from trivial matters. However, due to one party's quick talk, trivial matters often turn into big matters, and even lead to disasters.

Most people who like to express their quick words are impetuous and accustomed to blaming others. In their spiritual world, there is no word forbearance at all. As long as something doesn't go their way, they will curse at things and people in order to relieve the worries in their chests. But they never thought that their anxious emotions would be vented. How would the person being scolded feel?

Just like a person's pores will stand up after sneezing, a moment of quick talk is actually a way to vent physiological pleasure.

The difference is that the pleasure of sneezing is purely physiological, while the pleasure of speaking quickly is mixed with a strong psychological color.

In this sense, to overcome the problem of being quick to talk for a while, we must work hard on daily self-psychological adjustment.

First of all, we must remember this principle: we should speak as little as possible in any place and occasion. Silence is worth promoting. If you have to say something, then you should pay attention to the content, meaning, wording, tone and posture of what you say, as well as what to say on what occasion and how to say it appropriately.

Secondly, if you don’t know the inside story, don’t talk nonsense. There is no perfect person in the world, and you should not talk about other people's shortcomings or reveal other people's privacy. First of all, you must understand that what you know about others is not necessarily reliable, and there may be secrets that you don't know. If you rashly publicize the one-sided phenomenon you know, you will inevitably confuse right and wrong and confuse right and wrong. By the time the truth came out, it was already too late to recover.

If you say good things about bad people, others will think you are ignorant at best; if you say bad things about good people, it will harm your morality. So when studying the art of speaking, you must first learn to speak less. Of course, you can only say less but not say nothing at all. To speak well while speaking less and well is the art of eloquence.