Avoidant attachment personality

First, avoidant attachment personality and its performance

Negative attitude towards love relationship, skeptical about long-term and stable love relationship. They long for love, but they run away from it. They have a strong sense of boundaries, and few people can really enter their hearts. They are suitable to be ordinary friends. Once a relationship is established, the whole person will begin to alienate and reject his partner. They are objective and rational "indifferent" and don't like sweet words. Avoidant lovers are very independent and are not used to dependence and being dependent.

Second, the causes of avoidant attachment personality

It may be that your parents did not form a benign attachment relationship with you when you were young, which led to the escape of intimate relationship. You may have experienced great setbacks, such as lovelorn love and the death of your favorite person, which led you to stop believing in intimate relationships.

To some extent, avoidant attachment personality is a "self-defense" mechanism that protects you from harm, which leads to the reason why it still exists in you.

Third, avoidant attachment personality and its characteristics

If you desperately need love and resist intimacy, you will need love more, but if you establish intimacy, you will become "repulsive", want to escape and want to be independent. The heart is contradictory! Because they don't believe in love, they will subconsciously think that their feelings are unreliable and will be disappointed in the end.

Think that human nature is fickle and can't rely on others. In fact, they were ready to break with each other at any time from the beginning, and even if they really separated, they could accept it calmly. Emotional problems, either escape or erupt.

In love, they can avoid the common problems when they get along with their partners and don't like to deal with problems and troubles. The accumulation of contradictions to a certain extent is a one-time outbreak, calm and indifferent, carefree.

Too independent, pay attention to private space. They can do everything by themselves and never ask others to help them solve it. In this way, girls whose partners feel neglected, liked, relied on and evaded will be more obvious.

For avoidant people, they won't be bored with you for 24 hours, because they pay great attention to their private space. Even if you are his partner, things like checking posts and checking mobile phones are very contradictory in their hearts.

In intimate relationships, * * * has poor emotional ability. It's not that they can't feel your emotional feedback. On the contrary, their hearts are extremely sensitive, but they don't know how to give you the care and companionship you want, and how to appease your emotions.

They are too idealistic and eager to find fault with their partners, which actually stems from their inner self-distrust, because they can't even accept their own shortcomings and imperfections, let alone their partners'? They want a partner who should be sweet when it is sweet and stay away when it is time to keep their distance. Independent of each other, they can accompany each other moderately and satisfy intimate relationships.

Inferiority and strength, they are very concerned about the negative comments of others, and at the same time have a certain tendency of "perfectionism". They are likely to deny themselves because of one or two careless words from others, and even lead to infinite ideas, but on the surface, others can't see it and can't show their vulnerability. Will over-reflect on their own shortcomings, so many avoidant people often have a strong sense of occupation. In short, I feel inferior and proud, and I feel that face is more important than anything else.

Fourth, how to get along with avoidant attachment personality

Simply put, don't insist on avoidant attachment personality. Avoidant attachment is also called alienation, so the closer you get to him, the more you hide. So you should learn not to force them. If you want to learn from the hero and heroine in over, you will be miserable.

Give them proper personal space. As I said before, avoidant and personality-dependent people pay great attention to their privacy, so you should show generosity and thoughtfulness appropriately and provide an emotional value!

To put it bluntly, it is a kind of "wow! You know me very well, and you and I have a heart. " Is to be able to accompany them when they are lonely and give them care when they are frustrated. But maybe when you want to share something with him, his reaction to you is cold and makes you feel unhappy, and they don't care about you. In fact, it's just that he doesn't know love. Listen to their voices and don't expect too much from them.

5. How does avoidant attachment personality change itself?

1. Recognize your situation.

2. Learn to find reasons and problems from yourself.

Don't hide your inner thoughts, express yourself honestly.