Who has good SMS and wants high quality?

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe."

Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

Giraffe and monkey got married, and a year later giraffe filed for divorce: I don't want to jump up and down any more! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

The lion and the bear shit by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

Legend has it that you are cruel. You are lying opposite the theater, occupying four seats. When someone tells you to get up, just hum twice and don't move. The security guard came over and said that friends are cruel enough. Where are you? You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

Dear users, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the Palestinian national liberation cause. Therefore, the Palestinian self-government has decided to give you a lofty title in the name of the whole Arab world: Ben Shalebaki!

A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said, "I love you." The little girl said, "Can you be responsible for my future?" The little boy said, "Of course, we are not one or two years old!" " "

An elephant asked the camel, "Why do your breasts grow on your back?" The camel said,' Stay away from death, I won't talk to anything with a penis on my face!

A row of prostitutes are waiting for guests in the street. An old lady in her 80s saw them and asked curiously, What are you waiting for? The prostitute said angrily, wait for the lollipop! Old women also lined up to join the team, waiting for sugar. As a result, she was arrested by the police. The policeman asked the old woman: Is it ok to have no teeth? The old woman smiled and said, I can lick it! ! !

A couple of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said that you would let you go if you ate each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly: You don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much!

A nun went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound, and the careless nurse gave her a pregnant woman's test sheet. After reading it, the nun sighed and said, "These days, even carrots are unreliable."

Bull: I was scared when I saw the inspectors coming. They all like to eat bullwhip. Niu: I'm afraid, too. I heard that they began to brag about B after eating the bullwhip.

Probably last Saturday. I saw you crouching next to a pile of poop the other day. You smell like poop. You poke it with your hand, and it feels like poop. You tasted it again. It must be poop. So you said happily, it's a good thing you didn't step on it!

Zebra loves deer deeply, but several confessions are rejected. After the tenth failure, the zebra roared to the sky: Why? What's all this for? The deer said timidly, my mother said that tattooed people are hooligans-

In the hospital, a family is very happy to have a baby. As soon as the child was born, he spoke. The child said, "Grandpa." Grandpa sighed when he died. The child said, "Grandma." Grandma sighed when she died. The child said, "Dad." His father died and saw that he was not dead. At this time, the child's uncle died.

The female teacher drew an apple on the blackboard and then asked, "What's this, little friend?" The children said in unison, "Ass!" The female teacher ran out of the classroom crying and complained to the headmaster, "The children laugh at people." The headmaster came into the classroom and said with a serious expression, "why did you make the teacher cry?" Ah! And drew a butt on the blackboard! "

I put a "hair" in the rice I just hit high in the window of the restaurant with chopsticks. Seeing the mess on the face of the chef in the canteen, I felt crazy and proud: hey, I can eat without spending money at noon today. The young man who served food next to him looked up and saw it and patted the master on the shoulder: "Lao Liu, didn't you wash your hands just now?"

A dog went to the mountains to start a business. The farmer gave it a sickle and the carpenter gave it a hammer. When the dog came to the mountains, he suddenly met a tiger. He was frightened and quickly raised his sickle and hammer. The tiger laughed and said, "Hey, you are party member!" " "

It's all original.

Classic text messages or jokes! ~