Emotional intelligence in love is emotional value.

Emotional intelligence in love is emotional value.

If someone tells you, "I tell you, I have a high EQ", do you think this person has a high EQ?

Most of you will think that this person's EQ is quite low, because people with high EQ will not tell others that he has high EQ.

On the contrary, a person with high emotional intelligence, even if others praise him for his high emotional intelligence, should be modest: "It's not that I have high emotional intelligence and can talk, but that everyone is tolerant of me and willing to spend precious time listening to me."

Emotional intelligence in love is emotional value.

The word emotional value is well known. In fact, there is no essential difference between emotional value and emotional intelligence, just because of the particularity of intimate relationship, we will not use the word "emotional intelligence" in our feelings.

So emotional value began to replace emotional intelligence on the emotional stage. Emotional intelligence is not determined by you, but by the people who listen to you and get along with you.

Similarly, in an intimate relationship, your emotional value is not determined by you, but judged by the other person according to his own feelings.

Xiaohong can always bring comfort, pleasure and happiness to Xiao, and Xiao Ming will also think Xiaohong has high emotional value.

On the contrary, Xiaohong often brings anger, injustice and oppression to Xiaoming, who will think that Xiaohong's emotional value is low.

Intimacy has its own filter, which will cover up the low emotional intelligence behavior in love.

When we find that the other party doesn't respond to us and feels indifferent and alienated, instinctively giving up the call for anxiety will prompt us to do excessive behaviors that are impossible in a rational state, such as calling for life, bombing by short messages, and crazy questioning.

But if we get rid of emotional control and look at this matter again, should you keep silent and calm down when the other party has been silent and unresponsive, or should you bombard it with relentless pursuit, which is low emotional intelligence and which is high emotional intelligence, which is clear at a glance.

Emotional value or emotional loan?

Many people think that they provide emotional value to each other. In fact, it should be called "lover loan" more accurately, because after giving it to each other, they are required to pay it back.

"I tell you that I like you, and you have to reply that you also like me; I sent you a message, you must reply to me in time; I have done so much for you and treated you so well, you must not leave me. "

People often say: "I gave him so much emotional value, but he still avoided it and didn't solve the problem." I don't know what to do. "

The first sentence of this question is wrong. I have provided him with so much emotional value, and the subject is me. This sentence itself does not hold water.

The correct way to ask this question is that he makes me uncomfortable. I found that he couldn't provide the emotional value I needed. How should I remind him?