"If You Are the One" Guest

1, Victoria: My name is Wei and my mother named me Victoria.

Murphy: Your mother is very knowledgeable. What does your mother do?

Victoria: My mother. . . what do you think?

Murphy (bending down to laugh): How can I guess? Give me 20 minutes.

2. A male guest wears sunglasses, a cap and a plaid coat, with his back to everyone in the elevator. Attacked by a group of women:

Yang Wenjun: He always licks his upper lip with his tongue. He looks disgusting. His clothes have no features. Which part of your clothes do you want to highlight, your hat, sunglasses, jacket, pants or shoes?

Hu: His image is like thieves and hooligans in old Shanghai.

Mano: Go straight ahead.

PS: A typical woman who judges a book by its cover!

3. For divorced men:

Wu Xiao: You are thirty years old, but the clothes you wear look like thirteen. Your clothes are cheap, and you don't respect us.

PS: It hurts self-esteem!

4. For blood donors:

Hu: Your clothes seem to come from the 30th century. You'd better wait until the 30th century to find your wife.

PS: Make fun of blood donors and ask for ratings! ~

5. Yan Yingying: People who wear glasses are obscene.

PS: Have you watched too many Japanese love ACT action movies?

Murphy: There are only a few lights left now.

Excuse me, Victoria, why is your light still on? What's your impression of him?

Victoria: Sorry, I didn't have time to put it out just now. Can I put it out now?

Murphy: Yes, you haven't answered my question.

Victoria: Oh, is there a problem? It slipped my mind.

pS: 100 .。 . . . . . . . . . . wordless

7. Male guest: Do you like going shopping by bike with me?

Mano replied without hesitation: I prefer to cry in a BMW.

PS: What a classic! ! ! !

8. The male guest is the location host. He wants to show how good his eloquence is.

Mano: "After listening to your words, I think you owe a whip. I'll find the whip ... "

PS: Go and play J8SM.

9. Seeing an ordinary-looking person on the stage,

Female guest description: "Seeing you, I feel that my coming to the program is just a game and a dream. Now the dream should wake up. "

PS: Don't look at yourself.

10, the girl boldly revealed "I love collecting thongs", and then bluntly asked the boy: "Is your family rich?"

The boy directly announced that "my family has business and three houses in Shanghai".

PS: I also have three bungalows in our village.

1 1. A handsome male guest said that he had talked about seven or eight girlfriends.

Mano went on to say, "It's not as good as my fraction!"

If you are the one, lines

Roi: Aren't you making trouble? I advertised for marriage.

Blind date (Feng): Your advertisement didn't say that men are not allowed to talk.

Ge You: Isn't that nonsense? I am not gay. Are you ... ...

Blind date: I am. How do you know you are not? I thought I wasn't, but later I realized I was afraid to face it.

Return on investment: Can I find another man? I am not gay.

Blind date: How do you know you're not? I used to think I wasn't. You are afraid to face it, but you have no courage.

Roi: You left first. I'm not there yet.

Roi: I also review why I am so vulgar. My heart is so big that I can't hold a man. Make room for women. Guess what, it's another woman!

Shu Qi: Do you know what love at first sight is?

Roi: I fell in love with you as soon as I saw you.

Shu Qi: You can't fall in love after three meetings. Love at first sight is not that you have a crush on me, nor that I have a crush on you. Not when you look, but the taste. We are attracted and fascinated by each other's smells. The smells are the same, you know?

Roi: then I have to charge. He took advantage of it all. It's rude of you to let me drink with my dissatisfied wife.

Roi: Do you want to insert the door backwards? How to get to your house?

Blind date (Luo Haiqiong): First fly to Kunming, then take a long-distance bus to Mengzi for one day, then take a bus to Pingbian, and then take a tractor for one day, and then a bullock cart will reach our home for one day.

Roi: If we are not good, can we get a divorce?

Blind date: My brother will break your leg.

Roi: don't you want to find someone in good health? I have to find a soft persimmon to pinch.

Blind date (Che Xiao): Soft persimmons are delicious.

Roi: Like a sick seedling, don't you worry about the quality of your marriage? At your age, let me get this straight. It's like a wolf.

Blind date: Do you think the basis of love is sex? No. Why? You can still grow old together, of course, I mean not at all, but not too often.

Roi: What do you think is the frequency of making out infrequently?

Blind date: This is my ideal.

Return on investment: you say?

Blind date: (stretching out a finger)

Return on investment: once a month?

Blind date: once a year.

Blind date: If you agree, we will keep in touch.

Roi: I disagree. I understand why your husband doesn't go home. You couldn't find my place when we got married. That's a real pity.

The blind date pondered for a long time and asked, "Is it that interesting?"

Ge You answered softly after a while: "Yes!"

Bidai Syulan: Didn't you say that you don't care if the child is your own?

Roi: I can recognize orphans, but the death of parents is another matter. I'm afraid it's not appropriate to stick the Mercedes logo on the front of BMW.

Blind date: can't you open it?

Roi: But what if something goes wrong, Mercedes-Benz parts don't match and BMW doesn't bother to repair them? I'm still self-reliant about getting married and having children, and I don't accept foreign aid!

Return on investment: I bought it at a low price. Are you going to hold it for a long time? Or short-term play?

Hook: Short-term fun? Do you have that explosive power? You can only hold it for a long time.

Roi: I think my proposal is quite unreliable. I don't like those crooked ones, but anyone who looks pleasing to the eye is either frigid or pregnant. Where are all the girls with clean mental health history? Why can't I see any of them?

Shu Qi: Don't turn around and swear. Who is unhealthy? Will you be clean?

Roi: I didn't say you. You are not beautiful.

Shu Qi: …

Roi: The word pleasing to the eye underestimates you. You have to be the kind of person who looks delicious, catches a glimpse in the crowd and marries the royal family without losing to Diana. Some people think that beauty is in the eye of the lover, but it is not an exaggeration to say that beauty is in the eye of the enemy.

Return on investment: I have someone here, but my heart is elsewhere. ...

Shu Qi: You don't have to accept it. I know it's unfair to you.

Roi: Then can you allow me that my heart is here and my body is not there sometimes?

Shu Qi: No.

Shu Qi: What do you like about me?

Roi: Did I say I like you?

Shu Qi: Be honest. This is the premise that we can be together in the future.

Roi: I want to be with you on the premise that I can't find anyone more stupid than you used to.

Shu Qi: I won't be so stupid again.

Roi: You don't have the ability to be half-hearted. You can't even take part in accidental amusement. It's all written on your face. I write my words here. You haven't turned his page yet. Once you turn to a new page, you will still be single-minded I won't tolerate your present performance until I see this one. You are stupid, I am not stupid.

Shu Qi: What if I learn my lesson and become smart? Your wishful thinking will soon fall through?

Roi: Well, I'll sell you to the natives of Hokkaido tomorrow, so that you can serve them fishing and hunting all your life, have many children, come and go in the wind and rain, have no food and clothes, and be beaten if you want to escape. After three years, you will be tortured into a black and thin old lady, avoiding everyone.

Roi: What can I fail? If you don't take me seriously, I'll take advantage of you when you come to the door.

Roi: Once he gives you his heart, your body will be sentenced to life imprisonment.

Sang Wu (Roy's best friend): You just have a crush on someone else.

Roi: nice. What's the matter? I improved the offspring for our Qin family. What's the matter? Do you have to meet an ugly one and think about how to escape from prison every day?

Roi: Are you sure he doesn't understand Chinese?

Roi's best friend: OK.

Return on investment: well, let's start from childhood ... Roi repented for four hours, and the priest couldn't stand it.

Father: Our church is too small for his big sin. There is a bigger church in front of it.

Shu Qi: Oh, what a pity! There is a big gap between what you think and what you actually see. Shall I find you a psychiatrist?

No doctor can heal my wound. You are my best medicine.

Shu Qi: Aren't you afraid of my poisoning?

Roi: You have to drink poison!

Roi: Four sisters, add up to 300 years old. Can you not despair?

Wonderful quotations if you are the one.

1, life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you. -ROI proposed to Liang Xiaoxiao.

2, you are looking for feelings, I am looking for marriage! The two of us went the wrong way. -ROI summarizes the relationship with Liang Xiaoxiao.

You didn't catch up with me when I was good ... these two years have been a bit empty. -ROI was exhausted and flustered by Liang Xiaoxiao.

4, what, the whole big store. Stabbed into the crowd alive, but was squeezed when he died. -li xiangshan played by Sun is dissatisfied with the crowded cemetery.

Plant me in a flowerpot, and I will smile at you every day. -li xiangshan asked Roi to plant his ashes in a flowerpot.

6. Whoever is emotional will be finished. -ROI learned that Liang Xiaoxiao only likes himself and said sadly

7, early know so cold, it is better to marry that once a year! At least once a year! -ROI complained that Liang Xiaoxiao.

8, happiness is not necessarily together, bad luck must be together-Qin

9. Life is a practice. -Qin

10, it's not a disease, it's a life. When it comes to me, I can only do it. -li xiangshan's feelings after getting cancer.

1 1, yours, mine, mine. -say to Roi with a smile at the end.

12, can you swear to money that no matter how rich, healthy and loving you the other person is, you won't be with him? -witness Roi at the divorce ceremony asked Mango.

13, leisure business without losing friendship. -Congratulations on the divorce ceremony.

14, living at home doesn't have to be sincere, but kind. -Laugh and blame Roi for always telling lies, and Roi is so picky.

15, the enjoyment of the emperor is to serve the feet as the face. -Roi's feeling in the foot bath center.

16, how to choose marriage is wrong, and long-term marriage is to make mistakes.

17, we are close friends. We can take care of orphans but not our wives. -Xiangshan describes his relationship with Roi.

18, fear is like walking at night and knocking on the black door. You don't know whether the colorful world or the abyss is behind the door. You are afraid of stepping on the air, fearing that it is not the end but the beginning. -Someone asked Xiangshan if he was afraid of death, and Xiangshan replied.

19, death is another existence. Compared with life, only life is a deformity. -Xiangshan daughter at the farewell party.

20.Roi talks about the judges of the draft: "How can there be an upper class if you pretend to be an upper class?" It's all dirty This is a group of parasites, cheating on food, cheating on drinking and cheating on guns. "The mango on the side said," Stop cursing and scold yourself again. "

Funny quotations if you are the one.

1, leisure business without losing friendship. 2. Whoever is emotional will be finished.

3. Life is a practice.

4. Do you want to plug the door backwards? How to get to your house?

If we are not good, can we get a divorce?

6. What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine.

7. I didn't say you, you are not pleasing to the eye.

8. Sometimes being easily deceived is a sign of kindness.

9. Aren't you making trouble? I advertised for marriage.

10, you can not accept it, I know it's unfair to you.

1 1. How often do you think making out is not frequent?

12, you go first, I'm not there yet.

13, if you agree, we will keep in touch.

14, can I find another man? I am not gay.

Do you think we should speak Chinese or English?

16, life is short, and I am willing to make mistakes with you.

17, the enjoyment of the emperor is to treat the feet as faces.

18, plant me in a flowerpot, and I will smile at you every day.

19, didn't you say you don't care if the child is biological?

20, happiness is not necessarily together, bad luck must be together.

2 1, to be honest, this is the premise for us to be together in the future.

So far, I haven't seen anyone braver than you.

I can't tell anyone. My heart is blocked, and I am so wronged.

It's hard to find a partner, but I'm imitating Feng.

We are friends who care about each other's lives, but we can take care of orphans but not their wives.

26. Isn't that nonsense? I am not gay. Is it?

27, four sisters, add up to 300 years old, can you not despair?

28, ok, deal! A million is a million. I said pounds.

29. Living at home doesn't have to be sincere, but kind.

30. How to choose marriage is wrong. A long marriage is a mistake.

3 1, you don't want to find a good figure? I have to find a soft persimmon to pinch.

32. You missed my good time. These two years are a little empty.

33. If you want to be confident, you should work hard to make money instead of studying flowers, birds, fish and insects.

34. When your ability is not big enough, it will cost you dearly to attend the meeting prematurely.

Once he gives you his heart, your body will be sentenced to life imprisonment.

36. If you don't completely sort out the past pain, you will live in a depressed atmosphere forever.

When you reach my age, you may find that drinking cold water will make you fat.

38, this is not a disease, this is life, my life has come to me, I can only do this.

39. I want to be with you on the premise that I can't find anyone more stupid than you used to.

40, you are looking for love, I am looking for marriage! The two of us went the wrong way.

4 1, are you a reserved person? You have more shoes than the President of the Philippines.

42, then can you allow me, my heart is here, and my body is sometimes absent?

43. Death is another kind of existence. Compared with life, only life is a kind of disability.

44. Short-term gameplay? Do you have that explosive power? You can only hold it for a long time.

45. No doctor can heal my wounds. You are my best medicine.

46. I also have a car with the letter B. I think BYD's car is very good and environmentally friendly!

47. What if I learn a lesson and become smart, and your wishful thinking will soon come to nothing? .

48. If you don't have enough to eat, it's terrible to shout for a star dream every day.

49. Don't turn around and swear. Who is unhealthy? Will you be clean?

50, what? The whole store. Stabbed into the crowd alive, but was squeezed when he died.

5 1, I should have married once a year if I had known it was so cold! At least once a year!

52. Do you want to keep it for a long time if you buy it at a low price like me? Or short-term play?

53. You said that your dream lover is a white snake. It is not enough for you to like an ancient person, you must like a mythical person.

54. Mano is a man who is good at hitting others, and he is also a man with strong anti-hitting ability.

55. Then I have to charge. He took advantage of it all. It's rude of you to let me drink with my dissatisfied wife.

56. Our church is too small to tolerate his great sin, and there is a bigger church ahead.

57. what can I fail If you don't take me seriously, I'll take advantage of you when you come to the door.

58. Pretend to be upper class, how can there be upper class? It's all dirty This is a group of parasites, cheating on food, drinking and guns.

59. Oh, what a pity! There is a big gap between what you think and what you actually see. Shall I find you a psychiatrist?

60. I disagree. I understand why your husband doesn't go home. You couldn't find my place when we got married. That's a real pity.

6 1, cut the crap, I said Japanese yen. Don't feel lost. When the economy improves next year, I will sell it at a high price and share it with you.

62. Can you swear by money that no matter how rich, healthy and loving you the other person will be in the future, you won't be with him?

63. Like a sick seedling, aren't you worried about the quality of marriage? At your age, let me get this straight. It's like a wolf.

I can recognize orphans, but the death of my parents is another matter. I'm afraid it's not appropriate to stick the Mercedes logo on the front of BMW.

65. I really can't go on. I am fragile, and I feel inferior. I will use my body, my spirit and all I have to do things that you regret.

66. Fear is like walking at night and knocking on the black door. You don't know whether the colorful world or the abyss is behind the door. You are afraid of stepping on the air, afraid that it is not the end but the beginning.

67. I am always involved for no reason. Last time, a male guest with glasses was called Xiaozi. He said I also wear glasses. Who did you say I confessed?

68. Do you think the foundation of love is sex? No. Why? You can still grow old together, of course, I mean not at all, but not too often.

69. First fly to Kunming, then take a day's long-distance bus to Mengzi, then take a bus to Pingbian, and then take a day's tractor, and a day's ox cart will reach our home.

70, I also review why I am so vulgar and have such a big heart. Why can't I pretend to be a man and make room for a woman? Guess what, it's another woman!

7 1, but what if something goes wrong and Mercedes-Benz parts don't match, and BMW doesn't care to repair them? I'm still self-reliant about getting married and having children, and I don't accept foreign aid!

72. Don't come if you want to find a handsome guy. If you want to find a wallet, don't see him. Don't talk about master's degree or above, don't talk about female entrepreneurs (except small business owners), so as not to disappoint each other.

73. We can't grow up in love as soon as we meet. Love at first sight is not that you have a crush on me, nor that I have a crush on you. Not when you look, but the taste. We are attracted and fascinated by each other's smells. The smells are the same, you know?

74. Using the word pleasing to the eye underestimates you. You have to be the kind of person who looks delicious, catches a glimpse in the crowd and marries the royal family without losing to Diana. Some people think that beauty is in the eye of the lover, but it is not an exaggeration to say that beauty is in the eye of the enemy.

75. I think my proposal is quite unreliable. I don't like it, but good-looking girls are either frigid or pregnant with ghosts. Where are all the girls with clean mental health history? Why can't I see any of them?

76. I struggled hard to save myself from the abyss of despair. I also hope that kind you and clean Hokkaido can let me discover the beauty of life. This is the selfishness of my trip. But hateful love has exhausted all of me. The more I struggle, the more my memory breaks me down.

77. You don't have the ability to take half-hearted exams. You can't even take part in accidental amusement. It's all written on your face. I write my words here. You haven't turned his page yet. Once you turn to a new page, you will still be single-minded I won't tolerate your present performance until I see this one. You are stupid, I am not stupid.

78. Well, I will sell you to the natives of Hokkaido tomorrow, so that you can serve them fishing and hunting all your life, have many children, and walk in the wind and rain without food and clothes to cover yourself. If you want to escape, you will be beaten. After three years, you will be tortured into a black and thin little old lady, hiding from everyone.