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Have you started working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?" ! ! "

2。

There are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: "It is used to stew vermicelli!" "

3。

Don't get drunk again. Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouted, "Are you a brother?" Brother did it! ! "

4。

I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting alone, just because one day you pass me, I will fall for you, and it is in vain not to smash you.

5。

If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

6。

I know you pay attention to hygiene. Wash your hands carefully every time you go to the toilet. Suddenly you stopped washing your hands. I'm surprised: why don't you wash your hands? You replied: "I brought paper this time! ! "

7。

Miss you, is a very happy thing; Nice to meet you. Loving you is what I will always do; Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing; However, lying to you just happened.

8。

Every day, I pray to the Buddha for a long-lasting blooming rose. When it reaches 999, I will give it to you together and say emotionally, "Little son, I don't believe that the attracted bees won't sting you!" " ! "

9。

It is reported that a few days ago, Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photo on the wall of Baghdad, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After investigation and evidence collection by the United Nations, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction, so run quickly.

10。

Couples in western countries always divorce because their lover is a baby. Look at the old man under the moon in China. They are experienced, so China's marriage lasts longer. When carrot saw the customer, he respectfully handed in his business card. The customer looked at the business card and asked, why is it called Korean ginseng? Carrots have a thin waist. "People haha!"

1 1。

Today, when you wake up, there is a mosquito lying beside your pillow, and there is a suicide note beside you: I struggled all night, and your thick skin made me live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I killed myself.

12。

Someone saw you today, and you are still so charming, walking slowly in a plaid vest, looking detached and comfortable. It is really cute. I wonder how you beat rabbits in those years.

13。

One year, a man wrote more than 800 love letters to his girlfriend, and her girlfriend finally announced that she was getting married. The groom is the postman who delivered these letters to her.

14。

The barber chatted while shaving the guests. He was so busy talking that he didn't pay attention to shaving his guests' eyebrows. The barber asked: Do you want to keep your eyebrows? Guest: Stay! Barber: Alas! Why didn't you say so earlier? Shaved off!

15。

Husband: Honey, I'm fired. Because of a little thing, it's so unfair! Wife: Why? Husband: I forgot to close the tiger cage after work last night. But they don't want to think, who dares to steal a tiger!

406。

You look very abstract! You look hazy! You look fuzzy! You look very ... strange! Give me a break. I really can't describe you. I have never seen a ghost.

16。

After the English exam, the English teacher said to the class representative, Let the students who failed stay. As a result, the class representative wrote on the blackboard: after school, stay and not be afraid of death.

17。

There was once a precious thing in front of me. I didn't cherish it. It's too late to regret. If you can give me another chance, I must have you! ..... 24 layers of mask!

18。

Recently, SARS has been raging. For your health, I make a pact with you in three chapters: take a bath every day and wear a mask before going shopping. If you agree, I'll sterilize your dog bones!

19。

The most popular decoration this month: wearing a mask, listening to Leslie Cheung's songs, wearing a T-shirt with "SARS patients" printed on the front and "Don't fight" printed on the back.

20。

When the captain was a beginner, the traffic police gave up when he met a red light while driving in the street. But instead of backing up, he rushed forward, and the traffic police were angry. Answer: I am a soldier. I only know how to move forward. How can I retreat?

2 1。

Where are you? Watch TV, hurry up! A large nuclear power plant was artificially leaked, causing a lot of biological variation! One of the mutant orangutans is reading text messages!

22。

Miss you, miss you and look forward to you. I can't live without you in this world, because I love you and need you so much. Although you don't belong to me personally, please allow me to call your name again: RMB!

23。

Oh, I have been following you for a long time. Why haven't you seen me? I'm right behind you. Turn around, see?

24。

How many times have I told you to be careful not to go out at night, but you just won't listen. No, it came to my dream again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

25。

When I was down and out, you were by my side; You were by my side when I was sick and injured; When I am frustrated in love, you are still by my side! Being with you ... what bad luck!

26。

If I am riding a horse, you can call me a groom; If I am driving, you can call me a coachman; If I am in charge of accounting, what should you call me? !

27。

Multiple choice question: Chatting is valuable, but drinking tea is more expensive. If it is (), you can throw both. 1。 Freedom 2. Love 3. Romance 4. Romance 5 online dating.

28。

At the moment I turned away, you cried helplessly behind me. In a flash, I understand how much I love you. I suddenly turned around and hugged you and shouted, I'm not selling this dog!

29。

Warning: Please stop watching, or you will regret it! Your SIM card has been locked, please contact the service provider!

430。

Walking alone in the street in the middle of the night, lonely heart, nowhere to go, always thinking about you, thinking about you, looking forward to you, I really want to say to you loudly. ............................................................................................................................

3 1。

Child abuse, if done well, is a dream come true. Going home for dinner, well done is called visiting parents. Choose carefully when you have done it.

32。

Finally, I understand that I am the one you are looking for, and you are waiting for my appearance. When you called me, I was already in no way back, so I had to go to you ... Shit, I was stopped by the police again.

33。

Father: "Doctor, how many more bottles of potions?" Doctor: "One bottle is enough. Will other children catch a cold? " Father: "My child, if he wants to drink a spoonful, we have to drink a spoonful with him."

34。

The judge looked at the defendant and said, "Have I seen you? You look familiar. " The defendant said, "Yes! Judge, have you forgotten? Twenty years ago, I introduced your wife to you. " The judge gnashed his teeth and said, "I sentence you to 20 years in prison."

35。

The policeman asked the old woman, "What's your name?" Po answers: "Namie Amuro" policeman: "Are you Namie Amuro?" I am still in Kimura Takuya! Grandma: Yes, I'm Lai.

36。

Fight secretly-fight blindly for a while; Holding a jar of money and smashing tons-a wealth fan; Braised tofu with edamame-meet your family; Set up an archway to sell jujube-it doesn't sell much and the shelf is not small.

37。

Love plus love equals great love, love minus love equals the starting point of love, from love to love equals infinite love, and love other than love equals the only love. Pass it on to 7 people and you will be happy!

38。

The galloping wind came quietly. Cover the quilt at night. Don't freeze your paws. It's okay to grab a bone. You can supplement calcium. Have a happy day!

39。

Advertisement: "Let a woman send a dollar, and she will receive the secret of how to make her hands white and tender." Tens of thousands of people really made money, and the answer was: "Tell your husband to wash the dishes."

40。

In class, the professor said to everyone: If the students sitting in the middle can be as quiet as the students sitting in the back playing cards, then the students sleeping in front will not be disturbed.

4 1。

In the restaurant at the station. "Waiter, I have chewed this fried pork chop for 10 minutes!" "Don't worry! Sir, your train was three hours late! "

42。

The annual Halloween is coming. Tonight, you don't have to worry about scaring people with your ghost appearance, and you don't have to dress up as an adult to show your ferocious and terrible true colors. Let's party!

43。

I came to see you on Halloween night … Hehe … Did I scare you? Actually, I just want to say … Happy Halloween!

44。

A drunk rushed into a bar and shouted, "Happy New Year, everyone!" " "The boss reminded him," It's March now! "The drunk muttered," oh! It's a pity to have been wandering outside for so long. "

45。

Policeman: "Why do you lock the door at night?" Thief: "I found a key, and I don't know who lost it. In order to return it to the owner, every household had to try it."

46。

Wife: "Do you remember when our wedding anniversary is?" Husband: "Hey! I will never forget it, because from that day on, we quarreled every day! "

47。

Are you well-proportioned, charming and handsome? Known as Pear Blossom Over Begonia, people nicknamed him "Jade-faced Flying Dragon", Tang Bohu's dog: Wang Cai? !

48。

If the charming star in the sky represents a person, then the star is you, and it looks like you. Go and have a look, now it has landed on the ground ... in the zoo!

49。

A woman: How can your lips be badly burned? Woman B: I don't wear glasses because of myopia. A: Will it burn like this? B: I mistook the car cigarette lighter for lipstick again.

50。

The doctor told the patient: yellow pills cure stomachache and white pills cure heart disease. Is that clear? The patient said, yes, I just hope those pills know where they should go.

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Many nights, you snuggled up to me gently, touched my delicate place with your delicate little hand and sucked my precious body fluids before letting go. Alas! This damn mosquito!

52。

Without the wind, the clouds will not move; Fish can't swim without water; If there is no sun, the moon will have no light; If it weren't for you ... stupid people wouldn't exist.

53。

I'll give you a gift with the heaviest amount of feces since there was feces. You will eat a catty and be full. If you feel that the amount of feces is not enough, please help yourself.

54。

May Day Golden Week! Value-for-money luxury tour, tractor pick-up, mountain climbing tour of Beijiang River, taro digging, sweet potato eating and chicken shit picking! It only costs ten yuan to enter the five-star cowshed (hotel)! Sign up quickly!

55。

Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There are only three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

56。

Butterflies complain that bees have a big belly and there are so many sweet words in them that they just don't tell me. How irritating! Bees complain about butterflies, wearing exotic flowers and grasses, and the two antennas on their heads are so long that they just don't send me messages. I'm bored to death!

57。

Tips for love, seven commandments after meals: first, quit smoking, second, stop eating fruit immediately, third, relax, drink tea immediately under temptation, fifth, walk idly, sixth, take a bath immediately, and seventh, go to bed immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

58。

After all these years, do you know how hard I have been looking for you? I traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours. This is my business card. Welcome to my plastic surgery hospital at any time! ... misinformation expert.

59。

Hey, almost everyone uses keyboards instead of pens now. In fact, typing with a keyboard will have a strange thing. If you don't believe me, look at your keyboard. There will be a pig hand on it! Happy April Fool's Day!

60。

[April Fool's Day] Don't think that building a city can settle down; Don't think that sowing seeds will lead to a bumper harvest; Don't think that the summit is conquest; Don't think that I have forgotten you. At critical times, such as today, you are my first thought.

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Welcome to the beauty call station. Press 1 for local girls, press 2 for oriental girls, press 3 for western girls, and press ................................................................................................................................... for gays. Today is April Fool's Day!

62。

Don't read and receive short messages on your mobile phone for the last month because of the virus found in the short message network, remember! The virus is "because of the virus found in the SMS network, don't read and receive SMS on your mobile phone for nearly a month, remember!"

63。

One of the most typical jokes on April Fool's Day: Tie your wallet to the street with a thin thread and pull this thread in the dark. Once someone finds a wallet, suddenly drag it away!

64。

Dear users, your mobile phone number won the first prize in our city's prize-winning network access activities, with a bonus of 1 1,000 yuan. Please pick it up at any bank with a pistol. Password: Freeze!

65。

A sparrow accidentally took a shit on a pig's head. The pig is very angry. The sparrow flew down and said to the pig, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." Let me show you a joke. Don't be angry. " Then the sparrow drew a circle on the ground and flew away. The pig looked at it for a long time and didn't understand what it meant. He patted his head and said, "No wonder people say I am benzene!" " "

66。

The new four idiots: those who love not to hang themselves, those who take medicine without illness or disaster, find a sick lady's, and giggle after reading the text message!

67。

You are a genius-a born fool, graduated from Harvard-Harbin Buddhist College, and you look good-it's really not your fault that you look like this.

68。

Please don't look down, turn it off. There is really nothing to see. Come on, do you really want to see it? No regrets? Well, you asked for it yourself-you are a pig!

69.

Part I: It's windy and rainy. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life. Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.

70。

Kangaroos in forest games. The monkey was praised by the lion king for jumping high, and the bear was criticized and said unconvinced, I will jump over this bridge tomorrow! Lion King: Look at you. You are still on the bridge (you are still watching! )

6 19。

People are really tired when they are alive! Standing and thinking about sleeping, I have to queue up when I get on the bus. Secret love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, work is particularly tired, robbery is not enough, I have to pay taxes when I earn money, and I have to pay for texting silly pigs.

620。

I will pay for your happiness; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I love you the most; I am a professional pig farmer!