Funny SMS highlights

1, I walked through mountains and rivers, and my feet were high and low. I have experienced ups and downs, but I still have to look for it. Life is busy, I have gained more or less, lost little by little, and the important thing is to be happy!

2. I have never been a thief, but I want to steal a happiness for you; I have never lied to anyone, but I want to lie to you about happiness; I have never hurt anyone, but I want to give you a happy turn … I am tired of my fingers just to give you my blessing!

3, happiness does not need a background, leaving only the back of laughter; Happiness does not need status, just live comfortably and happily; Blessing doesn't need flattery, just greeting. Greetings, contact and wish you all the best!

4. Tang Priest wishes you a happy life, Wukong wishes you good health, Friar Sand wishes you good luck, Bajie ... Don't you know what you want to say?

5. Know what I'm thinking? Miss you! Do you know why I miss you? Love You! Do you know why I love you? It smells! Do you know what you smell? The smell of vermicelli stew is fascinating!

6. Now that you have been hit by youth, I wish you happiness, happiness, health and good luck. I am a good friend!

7. Send you a rose this year and find a good family. Give you a lily and have a baby next year. Send you a hibiscus flower. My husband loves you and cares for your family. Send you a magnolia, and you can spend it when your husband makes money.

Since you received my message sincerely, I will bless you with sympathy. I wish: happiness chases you every day, happiness hugs you every day, and health covers you every day!

9, grapes, bananas, red apples, I wish you miss the results! Radish, cucumber and Chinese cabbage, may you be loved every day! Coke tea boiled water, I hope you sleep well every night!

10. On the third day after my son started nursery school, I asked him: Do you like nursery school now? The son said, yes, I can wait for you to pick me up there. In heaven, no one needs marriage; In hell, everyone goes in because of it.

1 1, at the checkout window * The payer couldn't help saying: I have been standing at your window for 10 minutes. The payee replied slowly, I have been sitting behind the window for 30 years.

12, the wife who works in the store gets off work very late every day, which is very late. Dave: Let's eat quickly! Wife: No, I'm not hungry at all today. Because I transferred to the pastry group.

13. In the police station, the police asked the victim who was beaten, can you describe the face of the person who hit you? The man replied: of course, he was beaten for describing his appearance!

14. In the classroom, Hua Zai put his bowl in front of Jiezai nearby: "Try my meal." Jiezai took a spoonful and put it in his mouth ... "See if it has gone bad." Hanako added.

15. In the park, an employee saw the director taking his grandson for a walk and quickly bowed and said, it's not easy for you to become the director's grandson at such a young age!

16. On the bus, a man found someone stealing his wallet. He simply pointed to the work permit in his pocket and said to the thief, take this out by the way. I am a policeman.

A young man cried at the funeral of the rich man. People who don't know the truth ask, "Is it your father?" The young man cried even harder: "No, why isn't he my father?"

18. In the hall, the hypnotist shook his pocket watch and said to the audience: You will feel sleepy and listen to me. Suddenly the pocket watch fell to the ground, and the hypnotist cursed: Shit! So the hall stinks.

19, when opening a canned sardine, the mother said to the child: Sometimes, the big fish will swallow this sardine in one gulp. Light light blue: Really, Mom, but how can a big fish open a can?

20. There is a note hanging on the refrigerator door, which was given by an angry wife to her husband who came home late. It says: your meat pie is in the dog's stomach!

2 1. The pregnant mother groaned while covering her stomach. The boy asked: What happened to her mother? Mom said: Your brother is kicking me! He is becoming more and more naughty. The boy said, why don't you swallow him a toy?

22. Clouds need clothes and flowers. I'm thinking your face is red. The moon shines on Jiuzhou, and I want to drink porridge under the tree. The porridge is too cold to drink. Please call back as soon as possible.

23, hot pot heart trembling hand, you don't answer me and leave! John received an email after installing the software to remove swearing: the child is not seriously ill, and the doctor said it was menopause. John wondered and called to ask. As a result, the child got better, and the doctor said it was menopause.

24. John said to his mother with a big bill in his hand: It was picked up outside! The mother didn't believe it and asked, Did you really find it? John replied, really, I saw the man looking for it.

When John saw a madman pretending to be a chandelier hanging on the beam of an insane asylum, he asked the dean: Why didn't you remind him to come down? Dean: If he comes down, we won't have a chandelier.

26. Prison instructor: How many bad things have you done that even your friends don't come to see you? Prisoner: Friend, these are all here.

27. Hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke, and life is like fire and smoke.

28. Someone told you that I use mineral water to flush the toilet. How do you respond? All I peed on was the royal salute.

29. What is the most boring thing about Chinese? The author wants to ask you why the author took a piece of shit, what kind of thoughts and feelings this shit contains, and what feelings this shit expresses …

30. The math teacher took us swimming in the ocean of problems. As a result, he finally went ashore and we all drowned.

3 1, the richest man in the world is a bump man, because ATM says ATM.

32. Will you stop judging me? I didn't eat a bite of your meal.

You can't even cheat. How can a teacher trust you to enter the society?

People like you can only live two episodes in a drama.

35, love at first sight, the clock is not love, it is the face.

36. Living the life of Bajie, but wanting the figure of Wukong.

37. Look at the time not to get up, but how long you can sleep.

38. The Statue of Liberty, with a book in one hand and a torch in the other, told us to study even if there was a power failure.

39. Just because I took one more look at you in the crowd, and then ... I have the eye of a needle.

40. When Bajie applied, the boss asked: Do you have a professional title? Pig proudly said: the messenger of the altar! Boss: sputum cleaner? Oh, then clean the toilet!

4 1, a drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

42. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said: I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

43. Charging the mobile phone in the train bathroom, people are staring blankly against the wall, and the mobile phone is connected with wires and put in their pockets. A little boy who came to the toilet turned to his mother and said, look, the robot is charging!

44. In the research institute, a department wanted to buy a refrigerator to store the test samples, so he reported to his superiors, and the result was not approved. After seeing it, Yang Gong, an old worker in Corey, suggested to the section chief: "Try replacing the refrigerator with an artificial intelligence thermostat." The section chief complied, and a few days later, the report was approved: "Agree".

45. One day, the tiger in the forest said shyly to the horse, Brother Ma, I am pregnant. Please give our child a name! Ma pondered for a while and said, my surname is Ma, so our children should be called sloppy!

46. Holmes and Watson are camping on the hillside! In the evening, Holmes woke up and woke Watson with his elbow: Watson, look! What is in the sky? Watson: A bright moon! Holmes: What does this mean? Watson thought for a moment, then said, well, the moonlight is good, there are no stars, and it should be cloudy tomorrow! Sherlock Holmes: Idiot! Our tent was stolen! Bao Zheng: Don't take it personally. The tent is still there! it is me .....

47. Confucius' understanding of the college entrance examination: learning while taking the exam, isn't it? Isn't it a pleasure to be notified by fate from afar? I don't mind being rejected by others. Aren't you a gentleman?

48. When I was a child, I scratched a thank-you note and didn't throw it away. I had to scrape off the words thank you for your patronage before I was willing to let it go, just like too many things later.

49. In the railway station square, a girl seems to be picking up someone and calling to say that I am so humble? While talking, I also made a beautiful hair, and an uncle next to me said that you can't do this, and it will be conspicuous when you lift your skirt!

50. Walk towards the iron gate with a shotgun. The door was closed and high, and shota couldn't climb it, but when he saw him lying on the ground after thinking, the originally thin board could just pass through the gap between the door and the ground. The ground was covered with dust, and he struggled and kept changing his posture. Almost, almost ... finally passed! He cheered, it's good to be young! I couldn't help cheering in my heart, then took out the key and opened the iron gate.

5 1, it's good to be a woman, no matter how ugly, there are idiots to find. Free food and drink does not count, rings, earrings and gold necklaces!

Finishing: zhl20 16 1 1