Jokes to make your girlfriend happy

Jokes to make your girlfriend happy

Jokes to make your girlfriend happy. In the relationship between lovers, if you can use appropriate humor, you can add a lot of points to yourself. Don't underestimate the power of jokes. Being happy can make people relax, so that they can get closer to each other. I have collected jokes that make my girlfriend happy. I hope it will be helpful to you. Jokes to make your girlfriend happy 1

Humorous jokes to make your girlfriend happy

1. One day, the cow posed a problem to the donkey, asking " Which of the two bugs under the word "Stupid" is male and which is female. The donkey racked his brains, but still couldn't answer. Niu cursed, "What a stupid donkey! Men are on the left and women are on the right!"

2. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project, building a 30-meter chimney. The construction period was two months and the cost was 300,000 yuan, but it required an advance payment. It was finally completed at the end of last year. Today I went to inspect it, but I was scolded to death and didn't get any money. ! The drawings are wrong, they want to dig a well!

3. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over. What happened? Drunk, I don’t know, I just arrived.

4. The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." Someone was passing by and thought I had been electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

5. The turtle was injured. Let the snail go buy medicine. 2 hours passed. The snail hasn't come back yet. The turtle got angry and cursed, "I will die if he doesn't come back!" At this time, there was a snail's sound outside the door, "Don't tell me I won't go!"

6. Someone raises a pig, gets bored, and abandons it. However, the pig knows its way back, and abandoning it several times has no effect. One day, he drove around many corners and abandoned the pig. He called his family late at night and asked, "Has the pig returned?" He replied, "Yes!" He roared, "Let him answer the phone. I'm lost!"

< p> 7. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest. The ants rushed out and climbed on the elephant. , the fallen ant shouted "Strangle it to death"

8. One day in the computer class, a row of students' computers crashed. So a classmate stood up and said, "Teacher, the computer crashed." Yes, our platoon is all dead. "At this time, many classmates said, "We are also dead. At this time the teacher asked, "Who else is not dead?" Only one classmate stood up and said, "I'm not dead yet!" The teacher said strangely, "The whole class is dead, why don't you die?" "

9. Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his butt and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained that someone once fed him a peach, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out, and the monkey was scared. , now you must measure it before eating.

10. When I was a sophomore, all the girls in the dormitory liked Zhou Huajian’s songs, and a tape was borrowed by everyone. One day, the girl on the upper bunk borrowed it. Ask, where is my Zhou Huajian? The girl on the lower bunk replied, "It was on my bed!" There was silence for two seconds, and then they all fell on the bed.

A short joke to make girls happy.

< p> 1. Sleeping in class: A student was found sleeping in class and the teacher asked, “Why are you sleeping in class? "A certain student said, "I didn't sleep! "Teacher," then why did you close your eyes? "A certain student said, "I'm meditating with my eyes closed! "Teacher," "Then why are you nodding?" "A certain student said, "What you just said makes sense! "Teacher," "Then why are you drooling?" A certain student said, "Teacher, you speak with gusto!" ”

2. I was very happy to think that the children were afraid of me, but my wife later said: You are the only one in the family who is the most obedient, good boy! Go and buy me a bag of salt (in the end it only shows that I am a good person) Boys)

3. Once upon a time, there were two people, one called pretending and the other called calling for help. They disappeared in a day. They pretended to see a group of people fighting, so they went over to fight and said: I’m calling for help! Those people He was stunned for a moment and said: Are you pretending? Yes, I am!

4. The mother asked her son to get up again: Jacques, good boy, it’s time to get up. You heard the rooster crow several times. What does the cry have to do with me? I am not a hen

5. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the poop of the gibbon. The gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it and they fell in love.

Others asked how they got together? The chimpanzee said with emotion, "Ape dung!" It’s all ape dung!

6. The husband held an orchid bowl and said to his wife very solemnly, "Don't throw the bowl again in the future. This bowl was left by your mother. Now there are only two left. You threw me." The wife rolled her eyes at her husband and said, "Then don't be angry with me anymore. I am the only one left by my mother."

7. I have four children, all of them are very naughty. When I came home from get off work one day, the children were making a lot of noise at the door. When my wife saw me coming back, she was very happy and said: You are back at last, great. I am very happy. I thought the children are afraid of me. Who can Mrs. Zhi then said: You are the only one who is most obedient in the family, good boy! Go and buy a bag of salt for me.

8. The so-called love at first sight, but it is the first thing you see; the so-called love that lasts, but you have to weigh the pros and cons. The so-called buddies are the best, but they are just bullshit. The so-called sisters are the most promiscuous, but they are just pretending. I wish you a happy and wild life.

9. Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him in a pigsty with pigs. In the newspaper the next day, there was a postscript next to it, and the third person from the left was Comrade Khrushchev.

10. Children are thinking about issues related to "heredity and environment". The mother interjected, "This question is very simple. Everyone knows that if a child is like his father, it is genetic; if he is like his neighbor, it is environment." Jokes to make your girlfriend happy 2

1. "I'm a little depressed"

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't seen you for a day" < /p>

2. "I have an ambition, do you want to listen?"

"Well, you say"

"Hold your hand and spend the rest of your life." ”

3. “The other party is applying to enter your world”

“Please pass the review”

4. “Do you know what you look like?” < /p>

“What does it look like?”

“Attracting me like the earth”

5. “You asked about the return date yet”

“ "Ba..."

"I wish I could stick to you every day"

6. "The strongest wine I have ever drunk"

"It's the gentleness of you lowering your head and smiling"

7. "Why are you such a homebody?"

"It's always been in my heart and never comes out"

8. "I went for a run today"

"I actually ran in the shape of someone who loves you"

9. "I wish I had two souls"

"One to chase you with"

"One to wait for you to return"

10. "I want to go to different places with you"

"Sleeping with you is different "Bed" 3 jokes to make your girlfriend happy

1. They say that hitting means kissing and scolding means loving. If you don't hit or scold, doesn't it mean you don't kiss or love? In order to express my deep affection for you, I decided to beat you and bite you twice when I have nothing to do, and scold you and bicker when I have nothing to do. You see, I value you very much!

2. Don’t kowtow if you don’t see the true God, don’t get together with enemies, don’t nod if you don’t understand, don’t look back if you don’t know right or wrong, don’t bow your head if you don’t send text messages, don’t raise your head if you don’t send blessings, I really want to touch you. Head, I wish you endless happiness!

3. Time is passing, life is changing, material desires are expanding, and friendship is fading. I always carry my mobile phone with me, but I can’t hear the ring: If I don’t contact you again, I will forget your little fool!

4. Every time I think of you, a breeze blows in the sky, and I think this is how tornadoes are formed; every time I think of you, fine sand is blown up in the breeze, and I think this is how sandstorms are formed; Every time I think of you, raindrops float in the hazy sky. I think this is how the Pacific Ocean was formed. Every time I fall asleep at work, your text message appears on my phone, making a blurry sound. I think this is how ghost stories are formed!

5. The couple was robbed when they were out. The wife was so tough that she drove the robber away. The wife looked at her husband proudly and said, "Awesome, why don't you praise me?" The husband murmured: Wife, you. . .

What a man you are!

6. Oops, I’ve almost finished thinking about you. I forgot to pay when I bought something. I’m not hungry for pork vermicelli anymore. 1+1=3 is hard for me. I cried so much that the RMB looked like US dollars!

7. Although rabbits don’t eat grass beside their nests, old cows like to eat young grass, good horses don’t eat grass that turns back, and there is no grass anywhere in the world, but my dear, for your health, for you For your happiness, for your future, for your life, you'd better eat this grass, my little lamb!

8. When the mouse saw that the weasel always succeeded in catching the chicken, he was very jealous and wanted to imitate him. Once, it also went to the chicken coop to steal a chicken to eat. As a result, it was pecked all over by the rooster and was scolded: "You're so cute!" Do you also want to steal chicken (speculation)?

9. Your eyebrows are curved, blooming with a beautiful smile; your dimples are shallow, attracting everyone's attention; your voice is sweet, as clear as a mountain spring; your figure is graceful, dazzling countless eyes; there is only one fly in the ointment. Yes, farts are always sudden!

10. Build a pyramid for you with blessings. The top of the pyramid is health, followed by happiness, happiness, good luck, happiness and peace. There is also a basement where you can run down and have a laugh.