What amazing operations have you encountered?

My legs are a little long ... I like sitting in this position.

The stewardess often reminds you: Sir, don't open the safety handle next to you.

Me: I know ... I drove 5000 once, I drove it.

Stewardess: Sir, it's once100000!

Me: That … I really can't afford it!

@SmartCountryLee

When I passed the security check, my little sister asked me, do I need to take off my shoes now?

I replied, "I don't wear it."

I forgot her expression. I dare not look at her.

When I got on the plane, my aunt sitting next to me was a little neat.

"Young man, put on your shoes."

"Aunt, I'm not wearing shoes."

"You never wear shoes?"

"Oh, my shoes just broke."

Aunt covered her mouth and finally smiled.

"All right," said my aunt. "I'm just a little neat."

@ michajun

Guangzhou flew to Jinan in 2007.

The plane has been lying on the ground in Guangzhou.

The reason is an economy class passenger.

Occupy business class and refuse to let

The uncle who walked with us stood up and said to have a look.

He came back after a while.

The business class has also returned to economy class.

We asked him.

How do you handle things that flight attendants can't handle?

What a faint smile:

"I said that the first half of the plane is to go to Beijing, and the second half is to go to Jinan ... Incredibly, it really works ... so ... let's get off the plane and walk faster ... that buddy is old and strong ..."

Beta of flying a plane

It turns out that the aviation school drives a small plane and controls the pilot to return through visual landmarks. I can't find it and I don't want to admit it. Mobile navigation asked about flying back.

There is a classic movie on the plane. The stewardess asked us what to drink and I said a cup of coffee.

The captain raised his hand and said, two glasses.

The observer followed: three cups.

After a long time, my little sister tried to keep balance with a plate with six cups of coffee on it.

National latiao general agency

I was accosted by a flight attendant on the plane.

Not me, of course. My wife.

We went out together and took the flight of China Eastern Airlines, with seats in the penultimate row.

There were not many people that day, and there were no people in the last two rows. We are in the first row.

I dozed off in my seat after dinner.

I heard someone talking behind me.

"Beauty, why go to that place at night? Leave a phone number. "

As soon as I turned around, I saw an empty brother hitting on my wife and asking for her phone number.

Damn it, of course I can't stand it. Just go back.

I asked my wife directly: daughter-in-law, what's the matter?

Brother Kong looked embarrassed. Then I said to Kong Ge:

Are you particularly free? If you are busy, pour me a glass of water.

Brother Kong turned and left, and a stewardess brought me water later.

I asked the stewardess: Where was that buddy just now? Don't you want to make a phone call? Come on, let me give him my number.

The stewardess has repeatedly apologized, and I don't think there is anything to say.

@ Li

A few years ago, I flew from Tianjin to Shanghai. The plane bumped all the way from take-off, which made me feel bad.

Even the lights were turned off halfway, and the cabin was extremely quiet. During that time, I suddenly remembered the scene of flying with my ex-girlfriend, and then many memories flooded in, and then tears naturally flowed out without warning.

Later, the plane stabilized and the lights came on. The stewardess happened to see me wiping my tears when she was patrolling. She strode over and said, "Don't be afraid, sir, this is a normal bump." The voice was gentle and loud, and then all the yellow-faced aunts, yellow-haired beauties, yellow-toothed old men and yellow-mouthed children around turned to look at me. It was a shame.

I quickly explained, "No, I just suddenly remembered my ex-girlfriend and felt a little uncomfortable." Unfortunately, the disdain in the eyes of the masses has not decreased at all.

The stewardess left with a smile. After a while, she handed me a blanket, and I was a little confused. I said, "Is this a face cover or a face wipe?" The stewardess said, "No, you cover it to keep warm."

Suddenly, I feel that this is a very story-telling, warm and sweet little sister.

@ anonymous user

Once a flight attendant wanted to fly out to play directly after work, and it happened that the boarding time of his flight was the handover time after work. Then he saw off the passengers at the gate and boarded the plane with them. I will never forget the uncle's eyes sitting next to me on that plane ... Later, I received a short message from the company inviting me to fill in my flight experience and decisively praised the boarding gate service staff (that is, I was right).

I have been called Lao Han since I was a child.

There is a goddess in the crew, which belongs to the kind that will be called every flight.

After the level flight, the goddess prepared food at the tail of the plane.

There is a buddy who always runs to the back of the plane and wants to strike up a conversation.

There is a bathroom at the tail of the plane. The door looks closed, but it is actually left unlocked.

Suddenly, there was a shrill scream from the tail! ! !

It's the kind that is particularly long and lasts for a few seconds!

The crew looked back in horror!

It turns out that this guy is going to hold the wall and make a handsome gesture.

As a result, I went to the door left unlocked and fell into the bathroom.

See this elder brothers, leisurely climb out, pale, mouth read aloud:

"Fuck, I thought I fell off the plane."

@ Huang Yiyu

In my sophomore year, I used plastic cups of ice water.

Adjust the position to make a shot and light a controllable small fire in the lunch box.

At that time, after calling the civil aviation to complain about rushing out of the clouds, you can try to use brown plastic cups when serving drinks. It's too easy to use the transparent one on the plane as a lens.

But now it seems to be a transparent cup.

@ Yang Zixu

For three consecutive seats, the uncle in the middle seat took off his shoes …

Although I dare not say how smelly it is, I feel very uncomfortable, and then the sister next to the aisle reminded my uncle …

Leave her alone ...

Well, in that case, I'll just have to take off my shoes and taste them silently in front of him.

Uncle collapsed in two minutes: "Can you put on your shoes?"

"I'll put it on if you put it on."

Then we all put on our shoes, but uncle looked injured all the way.

@ Xiqin Girl

I once took a bag of puffed food by plane. As the plane slowly lifted off, the packaging bag became more and more bulging. I felt that my backpack and this bag of potato chips were about to explode, so I quickly called the stewardess.

Let's talk about it later! The stewardess grabbed my backpack! ! !

Then, I opened the potato chip bags one by one and let them go. ...

"Let's eat ..."

The stewardess returned the open potato chip bag.

Kill me.

Then a person ate four bags of potato chips for two hours. And a bag of shared clothes.

start-up groan ...

Burping off the plane smells like potato chips.

@ Don't forget the original intention

Once, Tongliao went to Hohhot and found my place. A buddy next to me looked at me and sat down. The first sentence said: Have you bought insurance?

Me: What do you mean, brother? Have action?

Dude: Big Brother, you think too much. I sell insurance.

Have you ever seen anyone who went to Yihe Hall to buy cold boiled bread? There are a bunch of people down there who say it's delicious. Appropriate IQ tax.

Perhaps Yihetang's milk tea tastes really good and the service is unique (welcome and thank you for your patronage without punctuation), but is Yihetang's cold boiled tea really better than home? Not really! How happy it is to pay IQ tax! I can only say: lie down!

I have met traffic police twice to enforce the law, and the flexibility in the process of enforcing the law made me cry and lie in the trough. Is this ok?

The first time, fourteen years ago, it was Saturday. I got married, went to the flower shop early in the morning to make a wedding car, and then drove to school to make up lessons on the first and second weekends. I was stopped by the traffic police on the road because I put the sticker of "Hundred Years of Harmony" on the license plate in front of the car and behind it. After the police stopped me, they asked me to show my driver's license and said that I would be fined three points, 200 yuan. At that time, I made up classes 18 yuan. I was fined 200 yuan and deducted points. The boss didn't want to. Moreover, at that time, it was very common to put some festive words on the number plate when getting married, and there was basically no punishment, unlike the current deduction of 12 points. I was smart enough to get off the bus and admit my mistake to the police. I really didn't know that this situation would be fined, so I will pay attention to it in the future. It's very late now. I have my first class at seven, and I'm going to be late. I have to go home for the wedding after class. It's really hectic and error-prone. It's okay. The traffic police listened to my dialect and relaxed a lot. They said that if you are happy with the groom today, the points will not be deducted. Let's change the violation, so they changed the "shelter number plate" to "don't wear a seat belt" and fined 50 yuan!

The second time was the year before last, when I came home from work, I saw that the spare paths on the road were empty, so I hurried home with one foot on the gas pedal. I was stopped by the police at the traffic lights and said I was speeding by 20%. It turns out that there is a temporary speedometer set by the traffic police on the roadside. The speed limit of country roads is 60, but we are used to not exceeding 80. Comrade traffic police was very polite and asked me to get my driver's license. Deduct six points and fine 200 yuan. As soon as they checked my driver's license, eight points have been deducted this cycle, and only four points are left, which is not enough! What shall we do? After deducting 6 points, I can only leave my car on the road and walk home! So I pleaded with the traffic police. I really didn't know that the speed limit here was 60, and I always thought that all roads in the country were 80 (in fact, they were all true). Finally, the traffic police reluctantly issued a speeding ticket of 10% and deducted a fine of 3 points 100, which was regarded as leniency.

Summing up experience, the traffic police must have a correct attitude, take the initiative to admit their mistakes, and strive to reduce the punishment!

When I was a freshman last semester, I didn't get my heart back because of the waves after the senior high school entrance examination. In addition, high school teachers don't collect homework corrections every day like junior high school teachers. So, from the beginning, I had the habit of not doing my homework.

I was a representative of the political class at that time. During the semester, the teacher suddenly told me to put away my exercise books next Monday.

I'm confused, right? Didn't you ignore your homework? Why do you have to collect your homework? I didn't write a single word in the whole exercise book. At that time, I only felt that my life was gloomy and I had to make up my homework on weekends.

At this time, the magical plot appeared.

My back desk is a person who likes to practice calligraphy when he has nothing to do. Just when I was disheartened, I found that my back desk was still seriously practicing calligraphy on the draft book. I just casually said: I see you practice in the draft book every day. Why don't you help me with my political homework?

Then, the goods actually agreed! I'm really just saying, I don't think anyone will agree with such a thing.

Then I politely said that the workload might be bigger than I thought. Backstage asked how big it was, so I simply showed it the exercise book. The back table turned over and was silent. Finally, I agreed.

My mind at that time was: lying in the trough, lying in the trough, this is also ok.

On Monday, the desk at the back brought a written assignment.

For half a semester's homework, I looked through it. This product is really real, and all the big questions are full. If I have to make up my homework by myself, I will definitely be lazy and save a lot.

This is not the most coquettish, the most coquettish thing is that the representatives of this class have never done anything seriously, and they were very popular with political teachers at that time. After the homework is handed in and handed out, it is obviously the same handwriting. The teacher wrote a big good note in my exercise book, but there was nothing on the back table except a simple date. ...

When it comes to god's operation, you can't help but mention the neighbor's y degree. Although there have been contradictions between our two countries recently, their various extreme operations are still amazing.

No matter from the following people, food, clothing, housing and transportation have different ways, or at the national level. For example, their acrobatic parade is incomprehensible to most people. There is another way to ride a car, just like a pyramid-shaped arhat. When eating, they like to scratch with their hands. I wonder what it would be like if they came to China to eat hot pot.

Even the way they fight the virus makes people "stand up". A bowl of Ganges water and a bowl of cow urine can be harmless. To deal with those who violate the law and discipline at home without wearing masks is to beat them up and take them home. Order another handful of cow dung and smoke it for disinfection.

Get off the plane at Tianjin airport, at 2 pm! Taxi fare 100 yuan, I said yes! ! Actually, the official price is about 15 yuan. The most exasperating thing is that I pulled another couple, a foreigner, who went the same way with me and was a little closer than me, and asked others for 150. I smiled and didn't speak!

When the young couple got off the bus, I said leave it alone! I will do it later! I am very grateful. The driver sent me to the door and waited for me to check out. I called 1 10 in the car, and the driver was too scared to ask for money! Please let me off! Damn it! Fight me! ! !

I heard of one, that is, a thief stole something and was chased by passers-by. As a result, the thief had a heart attack and died on the spot (although I think it is incredible, after all, people with heart disease should take care of themselves and don't do strenuous exercise). Then the passerby was arrested, so he hired a lawyer to defend him. At that time, the lawyer said: it's nothing for you to run in the street. What does it matter to you that someone else is dead? I went after reading it, which is ok.

To say "lying in the trough, nothing", you have to mention the glory of the king:

Chase Nezha with luna!

Cut your warrior Lan Ling and Wan'er to show invisibility!

Luban II skills to grab the Dragon King of Storm!

Jiang Ziya Dashan predicted to rob the dragon!

Shield Mountain flashes two skills, which is a big move to block the enemy in the tower!

There are also many "lying troughs" in reality:

Drink water through your nose!

Sleep standing up!

Eat raw pork intestines tattoo!

The bar pays, and so on. ...