Ten jokes: Leader: Does it matter?

At the class meeting, the head teacher said with a dark face: I know there are people in this class who fall in love early, but I won’t let you call the parents, lest the teachers from other classes say that I am acting as a matchmaker to arrange a meeting between the parents. . . Just figure it out yourself.

Drinking and fighting with others at night, the white T-shirt was dyed red. When I got home, my girlfriend looked at me and said, "You were wearing a white T-shirt when you went out this morning. What's wrong? Did you buy new clothes?" I was very angry, "Come on, come on, look at this. Is this a new dress?" It's blood, I was beaten. ""Oh, that's good, I thought you spent money randomly again."

Colleague: Boss, I'm not feeling well. Please take a day off this morning! Leader: Does it matter? If you don’t need injections, take some medicine and go to the company to persist... Colleague: Of course you need injections, it will probably take all morning. Leader: You didn’t fool me, did you? I'm going to have a needle check when I come in the afternoon.

How to put private money in the most stable way? I put it in my wife's winter clothes in summer, and in my wife's summer clothes in winter. I have never had any problems in the past ten years!

A few days ago, I went out to ride a train with a friend. He was very fat, estimated to weigh nearly 300 pounds, so we both bought hard sleeper tickets. However, the bunks seemed to be sold out, so this guy bought a ticket for the middle berth. . . . On the day of the train ride, when this guy got on the train and was about to climb into the middle berth, he was grabbed by a man in the lower berth and said, "Brother, you can sleep here with me. I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep or get up." . . ”

There are so many scammers nowadays. I bought a pot of mimosa, but when I came back I was not shy about touching it. I called the boss and asked what happened? The boss said: "What you bought may be the shameless one..."

Some time ago, my supervisor came to me and secretly said to me: "You have performed well at work, and I am going to give you a salary increase." Three hundred, you must not tell others about this." I burst into tears of gratitude, until at the dinner party, the supervisor drank too much and took my hand: "I can't help you, in fact, everyone else has increased by six hundred, I'm afraid you can't think about it. , I didn’t tell you the truth!” Damn it! ! !

"Xiao Lizi, tell me what kind of people the Ai family are." Xiao Lizi: "Scum". Drag her out and behead her

My daughter was very naughty when she was 3 years old. Once she broke a vase at home, her mother got angry: "If you are naughty again, I will beat you to death!" The daughter stuck out her tongue: "If you beat me to death, you will not have a daughter!" Her mother said seriously: "We Just have another daughter!" The daughter giggled and said, "It's still me!" - Thinking of this always makes her nose feel sour.

A little boy and a little girl had an argument. The little boy said, "You hit me, and I asked you to hit me." Then the girl kicked him. The boy pushed her down and said, "I didn't say I wouldn't fight back."

When I was a child, my grandfather and I went to the mountains to herd cattle, and along the way we saw some black fruits similar to jujubes. Fruit, so I picked one up and tasted it. Don’t tell me, it’s really fragrant. So I picked up a big bag and took it to school to share with my friends. Everyone thought it was good, so I picked up a big bag and sold it at the school gate every day. Later, I was expelled for selling sheep feces.