Find some funny messages! Humor master, please come in !

I'm sorry to text you so late ~ ~ If I disturb you ~ ~ I'm here to say ~ ~ You deserve it ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~ ~ Hehe! ! Meeting you is my inner desire. Falling in love with you is my happy choice. Having you is my most precious wealth. Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation. I will always love you. Too bad I sent it to the wrong person. Hello, this is the bra inspection bureau. We have found that your breasts have violated Article 7 of Chapter 2 of the "Cup Control Law" "Regulations on Severe and Extremely sagging breasts"! So we must force you to get breast implants, or you will be wanted! Because of you, I believe that maybe all this is predestined by heaven, which brings us together. Now I really want to say … what evil did I do in my last life! Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! Don't be grateful. God saw that you were thirsty, so he created water. God saw that you were hungry and created rice; God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way. If it is stipulated that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person is you. Till death do us part, I have no regrets! But there are no rules ... then forget it! It is a pleasure to miss you! Nice to meet you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! But I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha! The phone rings, which means I'm thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you! When the seventh sound rings ... * *, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone! According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads read short messages with thumb buttons! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late. Pig head! hahaha. When I heard that you were trafficked, I was really scared. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it! I said to my mother: I like you! After spending so much time with you, I feel I can't live without you. I want you to come to my house every day to accompany me! But my mother didn't agree. She said: no dogs at home! I changed my job, and now I work in a bank, not far from you. Come to me when you have time, call my name at the bank, and I'll know! I changed my name. It's too vulgar. I'll call Sister Qiang first ... Yesterday, I saw on the Internet that the model of the mobile phone you used had extremely high radiation. I was shocked. I was just about to inform you that it's useless for people with IQ below 50. I'm relieved. Don't worry, keep using ... I'm waiting for your call back! In a word: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life! Comment: I sent it to the wrong person. People are really tired when they are alive! You must queue up when you get on the bus. Secret love is really painful. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and work is very tiring. You can't rob it, you have to pay taxes if you earn money, and you have to pay for texting pigs ~! It takes five minutes to wait for a subway, three hours to watch a movie, three hours for a short moon, one year for spring, and a lifetime to miss someone, but it takes one second to say a word of concern: it's cold, put more grass in your nest.