Laughing copy

I had an abortion with my girlfriend today. She said weakly to me, honey, as long as it's not your child, I don't want it. Moved by her again!

2. If you like a girl, study hard and make money. When she gets married, you can give more money.

3. Inpatient infusion last week. The time for playing mobile games passed quickly. When I looked up and saw the bottom of the bottle, I panicked and shouted, "Waiter, it's full!" "

I got paid today. I dipped my finger in saliva and began to count the money. After counting the money, my saliva is still wet!

I don't even want to set the password of the bank card now. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.

6. Only the weak will cry and beg him not to leave when they break up. We strong people all knelt on the ground and held each other's thighs so that he couldn't move.

7. When quarreling with your boyfriend, don't blame him in a hurry, but reflect on yourself first. If you are really wrong, think about how to pass it on to him.

Eight. I'm not the kind of cute person who has to think for a long time for fifty dollars. I have to think about five dollars now.

9. Society is such a reality. It's tiring to be alive. My so-called friends all come to me for money. The most common sentence said to me every day is: "When will I pay back the money?"

1 I am playing with my mobile phone after class today. Suddenly, someone was lying on my back. I thought it was my girlfriend, so I kissed her As a result, it is the class teacher. ...

Eleven. I turned down three more boys. I am really an excellent girl. It's a bit lonely to see their distant backs. I can only say sorry silently. I really can't afford your real estate insurance and financial management.

12. I used to think that being poor for three generations meant not being poor after three generations. I didn't know until I grew up that the third generation was too poor to even marry a daughter-in-law, so there would be no fourth generation.

You never know how brave you are unless you push yourself. Now I dare to stand and talk to my girlfriend.

14. The so-called white-collar worker means paying the rent, water and electricity, buying instant noodles and fried rice, touching his pocket and lamenting that his salary is white-collar again this month.

15. My girlfriend broke a bowl while washing dishes. She complained to me and said, "It's all your fault!" "I said," you broke it. Why do you blame me? "She said," Well, if you wash this, won't I break it? "

15. I saw a beggar in the street. He shook me with a bowl full of money, which is simply showing off his wealth!

I am an optimist. Every time I see you cry, I laugh my head off.

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

19. Go out to play with others for a day, and you will find that the remaining power of your mobile phone is directly proportional to the degree of liking this person after you get home.

20. A man keeps a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

2 1. When life throws you a hammer, as long as it doesn't kill you, you have a chance to throw it back.

22. All the questions in the world can be answered by "none of your business" and "none of my business". Suddenly I feel so busy.

23. Go to a friend's house. There is a parrot in his house. I stared at it for a long time, waiting to listen to it. The parrot stared at me and kept silent. Just as I was about to give up, the parrot finally said, "Why don't you talk?" All right, you win! "

When your life is unhappy, don't worry, just look at your savings and wallet and cry.

25. The teacher said that a wrong question is a fortune. I looked at my paper and suddenly found that I was a local tyrant.

26. The most attractive person is Master Kong, and thousands of people hit on him every day.

Twenty-seven When you are young, try not to fall in love early. Knowing that you are ugly, ugly and short too early will affect the exam.

28. What's the difference between living in heaven and doing nothing but eating, drinking and having fun all day and refusing to go out?

29. Tomatoes laugh at eggs, and eggs are not to be outdone. It took off its clothes and wrestled with the tomatoes. The two sides argued for a long time, and finally a wisp of fragrance came. Loneliness means spending 50 yuan to buy a mobile phone. There is still a balance after half a year!