Funny classic sentences

Selection of funny classic sentences

1) I wish I could block Tencent messages, at least it would not make me happy in vain.

2) There are too many liars now. In the afternoon, I heard a person on the street saying that I was going to die from the heat. I was so afraid that something would happen to her, but even after following her for three streets, he didn’t die!

3) Even if you have a fever at home, you will continue to surf the Internet. If you sneeze at school, you will think it is late-stage cancer.

4) You should live well, for the sake of those who want you to live well, and for the sake of those who want you to die quickly.

5) A friend asked me to transfer money to him, and I accidentally pressed the phone number. Forget it, I just called more.

6) If you give me herpes, I will depend on you for life and death.

7) When I have money, I will buy 100 million bicycles and give one to everyone in China. Should I take the bus myself?

8) I also want to underestimate myself, but my weight doesn’t allow it.

9) Because you never read the updates and articles I publish, you will never know how much I love you.

10) If the people who love you don’t love you the way you want them to, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you wholeheartedly!

Collection of funny classic sentences

1) One day, I dreamed that I had spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty

2) I have achieved great success in losing weight. You see, all three of my chins are sharp!

3) The trouble with chocolate is: once you eat it, it’s gone.

4) Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

5) If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune.

6) A big belly is not scary. What is scary is that it is big and empty.

7) The biggest advantage of going on a blind date is that if there are problems in your marriage in the future, you can shift the responsibility to the matchmaker.

8) If a woman shows herself to be generous first, then a man will not dare to be stingy.

9) People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

10) In a few decades, we will meet, be sent to the crematorium, and burn to ashes. You will be in a pile, I will be in a pile, no one knows each other, and we will all be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer. .

11) Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

12) Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on the road of overcoming thorns and thorns, there are still snow-capped mountains that have not been climbed, rivers that have not been crossed, dragons that have not been killed, and beautiful women that have not been soaked in. Tell her to continue sleeping!

13) My crush is a stunning beauty, and one day she will ride on a fire-breathing dinosaur to marry me. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but not its owner.

14) You can’t have both fish and bras.

15) Experts look at doorways, laymen look at sidewalks.

16) Don’t step on the wild flowers on the roadside!

17) Don’t go too long without coming to see me. I’m afraid that next time you suddenly appear in front of me, I will laugh and cry in front of everyone

18) The most affectionate love in this life The long gaze is given to the mobile phone

19) If people are bored, they can play with snot bubbles.

20) I don’t want to die. To put it nicely, it means cherishing life, but to say it worse, it means being greedy for life and afraid of death.

21) The cashier said there was no change, so I asked you for two plastic bags!

22) When a woman is looking at the sky, she is not looking for anything, she is just lonely.

23) I say I wish you happiness, but in my heart I wish you would blow it away.

24) Why did you suddenly find yourself mature by buying underwear?

25) The only difference between me and Superman is: I wear underwear inside.

26) I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

27) I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world.

28) Follow other people’s paths and leave others with nowhere to go.

29) I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually ran around naked for the whole year!

30) I would rather believe that there are ghosts in the world than believe in a man’s bad mouth!

31) In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to Handsome Guy Village, and I became the village chief as I wished.

32) Offline on time at midnight! Otherwise, the princess will turn back into Cinderella.

33) Hello, is this China Mobile? My name is China Unicom and my PHS is broken. Can you send China Railway Telecom to fix it?

34) I am an academician of the Advanced Diving Academy of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, a Nobel Prize for long-term disconnection, and an Oscar for lifetime invisibility.

35) I would like to be a winged bird in heaven, and a pig in the same pen on earth!

36) I can’t give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

37) Life is so fucking fun, because life keeps fucking playing with me.

38) The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

39) I am an actor, and my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl.

40) The reason why angels can fly is because they take themselves very lightly. Funny short sentences and good sentences_ Funny Sentences

Good short funny sentences_Funny Sentences_

1. You can't eat away sorrow one bite at a time, you can only become fat.

2. Gaining something is low-level happiness, and asking for nothing is high-level happiness.

3. Spend a lot of money in thinking, but stop in moderation in life.

4. The early bird catches the worm, and the early bird catches the worm.

5. There is only one me on earth, so everyone must love and protect me!

6. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

7. Opportunity is like a virgin, rare and only once.

8. Don’t come to me if you have nothing to do, and don’t come to me if something happens.

9. Mengde, is your family okay? (No translation into modern language!)

10. It would be great if your parents spent those ten minutes taking a walk.

11. The person you love with reservations may be the most worthy of love

12. When you are here, you are everything. When you are not around, everything is you.

13. Youth is like a dandelion, it seems free, but it cannot help itself.

14. If you ignore me, I will become a dog.

15. Life is fun, because life always plays with me!

16. Life rounds us in order to make us roll further.

17. The fairest thing in life is that everyone will die.

18. The only thing in the world that can be obtained without hard work is age!

19. Spit is used to count money, not to reason.

20. Why do orangutans have big nostrils? Because its fingers are very thick

21. My life is a straight line, turning, just to meet you

22. We can’t fly because we take ourselves too seriously. Heavy.

23. We only have one earth, so everyone should take care of it;

24. I never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

25. If the heart has no place to rest, it will wander wherever it goes!

26. When Adam came home late from working overtime, Eve counted his ribs

27. Some people look much better when wearing facial masks than in real life.

28. Love is a kind of spiritual drug. You can only continue but don’t try to quit.

29. It is unreliable to place your future on a certain person

30. Don’t use your video playing speed to challenge Gola Hei’s skills.

31. Don’t pretend to be Superman in front of me because your underwear doesn’t look good.

32. Be proactive in everything. For example, you can climb the wall and wait for Hongxing.

33. In the season when black stockings are rampant, how can those of us with thick legs be embarrassed?

34. The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

35. Treat scars as dimples before marriage, and treat dimples as scars after marriage.

36. I have no money and no power. If I don’t treat you well, can you follow me?

37. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is easier to get along in kindergarten!

38. Women use stockings to conquer men, and men use stockings to conquer banks.

39. Qu Wanting’s uncle, she said that you exist in her aunt’s mind.

40. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first or I hang up first!

41. Life is like a play, it all depends on acting; life is short, it must be sexy.

42. Life is nothing more than making others smile, and occasionally making others smile.

43. If replying was a virtue, I would have become a saint long ago.

44. Three points are destined, seven points depend on hard work, and only if you love hard work will you win a dime.

45. If it is gold, it will always be spent; if it is a mirror, it will always reflect light.

46. Sleeping is for working hard, and working is for sleeping.

47. Time is like a nail, and life is destined to be a one-shot deal.

48. The so-called successful woman is very nice during the day and very nice at night.

49. The so-called perfect marriage is: when the man is finished, the woman is beautiful.

50. The faintest star in the sky also has the right to strive for the most beautiful brilliance.

51. Even if God does not entrust me with any great responsibility, it will still torture my mind and strain my muscles and bones.

52. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast; when I put on clothes, I am a beast.

53. Only women and English are hard to find, only wives and jobs are hard to find!

54. There are some things that we cannot control, so we have to control ourselves.

55. Being handsome and having a car is like chess, having money and a house is like a bank.

56. If I had known that it would be so difficult to find a girlfriend, I would have decided to kiss her.

57. The eternity of diamonds is based on the love of two people!

58. Don’t be afraid of drinking dichlorvos, but be afraid of surprises when you open the lid. Enjoy one more bottle.

59. Don’t be so nice to me that I can’t tell whether it’s love or friendship.

60. Don’t let others get you easily, otherwise you will be easily forgotten.

61. Mom said: Falling out of love once is nothing, the worst thing is that we have to start all over again.

62. There is no other half with 100 points, only two people with 50 points.

63. Although the famous flower has its owner, I will loosen the soil. Famous beauties have owners, but hoes are ruthless

64. What’s the use of a handsome man? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

65. The person you love desperately may be the least worthy of love;

66. What women are good at is makeup, but what men are good at is disguise.

67. Keep a distance between friends so that friendship can last long.

68. Being beautiful can only provide eyesight to others, but it does not necessarily lead to happiness.

69. Life is boring. It’s just that there are more boring people, which makes it interesting!

70. After the age of thirty, men are busy pretending to be mature, and women are busy pretending to be young.

71. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If you want everything to be smooth sailing, you must die.

72. I said you should be low-key. But you insist on giving me applause and screams.

73. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or banknotes!

74. Once you learn to break the jar, you will find that the world suddenly becomes brighter.

75. Because of your sorry, I decided to have nothing to do with you.

76. Being beautiful does not depend on your parents, but living a beautiful life is your real ability.

77. One day you will be roasted by society, even though you may not be a crab

78. Love comes and goes with just three words, not together, but sorry .

79. It is not life that determines your taste, but your taste that determines your life.

80. People get moldy without knowing it, so don’t do it unknowingly.

81. Only then did I realize that I was not in love with you, but in love with love.

82. Three elements of success: 1. Persistence. Second, shameless. Three insists on being shameless.

83. What my brother calls is not loneliness, but spring; what my sister calls is not loneliness, but a bed.

84. Loneliness is the carnival of one person; carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

85. Children. Another day your computer has a virus. It means you have grown up.

86. It’s not necessarily a virgin who cries out in pain, but it’s definitely a bitch who seduces a man.

87. The life that is in line with your nature is the best life. ---Zhou Guoping

88. If a tiger does not have tiger nature, it will not eat people, and if a person does not have human nature, it will eat people.

89. Ideals are like underwear. You must have them, but you cannot prove that you have them to everyone.

90. You cannot buy a car without accessories, and you cannot make friends without credibility.

91. You may not be good at first glance, but if you take a closer look, you might as well take a quick look.

92. You told me to go away, and I went away. You told me to come back, and I’m sorry to go away.

93. People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

94. One cannot take money into the grave. But money can take you to your grave.

95. There is no opportunity for rehearsal in life, every moment is broadcast live.

96. People can’t decide who they will fall in love with, but they can at least decide whether to give up.

97. There is always an answer to everything. Instead of worrying, just let nature take its course.

98. If the enemy makes you angry, it means you are not sure of defeating him yet.

99. If a friend makes you angry, it means you still care about his friendship.

100. Only when life can withstand tranquility can it reveal the truth of indifference and tranquility. A collection of good funny sentences

1. You should also learn from Tencent and call me dear every time you go online.

2. My future husband will definitely be a road addict, otherwise why wouldn’t he have found me even now?

3. Most people who change their signatures just want to write something that suits their mood and show it to someone.

4. Conductor: Give me a ticket for 2010. My wife lost it.

5. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night. You don’t know that I feel uneasy without you.

6. You finally regretted it. Unfortunately, I no longer care about your retention (looking back)!

7. I kept turning the QQ group on and off, off and on, looking at the people online, but couldn't find anyone to chat with.

8. Sorry, I can’t look the way you want.

9. In fact, people are all cheap. You don’t care about those who love you and pamper you, but you still pursue those who are indifferent to you!

10. Men, please note: Do not try to reason with women. A creature that bleeds for more than seven days a month and still cannot die is an unnatural existence on this planet.

11. Is there such a person: You can exchange dozens of text messages with them every day, but you can be embarrassed and speechless after a phone call!

12. Today’s children wash their hair not for cleanliness, but for hairstyle.

13. You are not afraid of getting your heart broken, but you are most afraid of being moved.

14. I just hope that there is someone who knows that I am not really okay when I say it is okay.

15. Last night I dreamed that men all over the world had menstrual cramps!

16. When you speak ill of me, can you: Don’t add fuel and vinegar, thinking it’s a stir-fry!

17. The person who makes you laugh heartlessly is the person who loves you the most. The person who makes you cry to the point of breaking your heart is the person you love the most.

18. Am I redundant? In fact, I am not redundant! There is only one me in the world, how can I be superfluous? That's called the only one!

19. Everyone who says he doesn’t want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart.

20. Who can recite my mobile phone number? Who can memorize my QQ? Who knows when my birthday is? Who knows what I'm afraid of. Who remembers what I like?

21. What a man is most proud of is not how many women he has owned, but how many men his woman is willing to reject for him.

22. Is there anyone like me who has nothing to do with the computer but doesn’t want to turn it off?

23. Have you noticed that excellent people are generally single.

24. I hate it when I wait for a long time to hear from you, and then I just say "Oh". Do you think I am telling a story or a joke?

25. I am very petty, jealous, and I don’t know when one day I will suddenly go crazy and tie you directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau.

26. When I get married and have a wedding banquet, I will put my husband’s ex-girlfriend and those women who can’t figure it out at a separate table, and then I will toast them one by one!

27. In fact, it’s good to be single, and you don’t need to explain yourself if you’re ambiguous with anyone.

28. Although I have set up an online reminder, I still can’t help but check over and over again to see if you are online!

29. My future husband, don’t be so nice to your current partner, it’s useless!

30. We have endless conversations on QQ, but in reality we can’t say a word when we meet, just like strangers.

31. If you take the initiative for a long time, you will be tired. If you care for a long time, you will collapse. If you are silent for a long time, you will suffer. If you miss someone for a long time, you will shed tears.

32. Forgetting someone is actually quite simple: don’t meet him, don’t be mean to him.

33. I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.

34. The only liar in the world is sincere: because he sincerely lied to you!

35. Not falling in love doesn’t mean no one wants you!

36. Don’t be like a trash can, pretending and pretending.

37. Once you fall in love, you will fall in love with your wife. How many are responsible?

38. Fall in love once and lose one friend.

39. I discovered that when I can’t get through to your phone, the one who says “sorry” to me is always Mobile.

40. Now I understand that the word "forget it" contains a lot of disappointment.

41. It’s not that I won’t delete you, I just want to see how you write your feelings for that woman.

42. I really want to know: whose name I will call out when I am drunk.

43. You are only suitable to miss, not to meet.

44. One day I will take all the power in my hands and kill all the dogs that betray me.

45. Some people were once friends, but after confessing their love, they can no longer even remain friends.

46. In fact, if you like a girl, buy her more food. If you get fat, no one will chase you, and it will be yours.

47. In fact, a capable man will spoil his woman to the point that other men can’t stand it!

48. I am so lazy that I don’t even bother to change the person in my heart!

49. Have you ever said that you are offline? In fact, you are changing online to invisible!

50. He said he loved you, but he didn’t say he only loved you.

51. Don’t see through me, otherwise you will lose all interest in me.

52. A man will never reject any woman who feels good, even if he has a woman.

53. Believe it or not: There will be someone who carefully reads every status of yours, including every reply below, but doesn’t say a word.

54. Man: Can I kiss you? Woman: No! Man: What did I just ask? Woman: Can I kiss you? Man: Okay, okay!

55. Sometimes, I ignore you because I want you to pay attention to my existence. Funny short sentences and good sentences

Funny short sentences and good sentences_

1. The life plan of our generation is random.

2. The only thing I can hold up but cannot put down is chopsticks.

3. I am very attractive, you need to be patient to look at me.

4. When he smiles, he is like a child, but when he is cold, he is a mystery.

5. Face the fucked up life with a bullshit attitude.

6. Look at people with your time and heart, not with your eyes.

7. Urinate when there is urine and do not wait until there is no urine.

8. Those who have money are uncles, and those who do not pay back money are even more so.

9. It turns out that my bad shoes were used to make capsules?

10. The minimum goal: Farmer Women’s Spring has some fields.

11. To love someone, you must have a heart, and to hate someone, you must use emotion.

12. Rain in the middle of the night, clouds in the middle of the night, and shouting in the middle of the night are even more scary.

13. Don’t cry in front of my grave, it will ruin my path to reincarnation.

14. If you don’t fall asleep in class, get drunk at the wine table.

15. The highest level of self-service: support the wall to enter and support the wall to exit.

16. Back then, I wet my shoes when the wind was blowing, but now my shoes are wet when the wind is blowing!

17. A low-key and boring high-profile is a sign of being beaten.

18. The sun rises in the east and rains in the west. The teacher is ruthless and I am affectionate.

19. Looking at the past, it’s all stuff. Girl, who do you want to live with?

20. Before I had time to express my feelings, April Fool’s Day passed.

21. Drive an Audi, wear Dior, and eat Oreos when you have nothing to do.

22. Smile when you are happy, and smile again later when you are unhappy.

23. The color of the banknotes in your pocket determines your mood today.

24. Every woman will always fall for a certain man.

25. Beauty makes men stop, wisdom makes men stay.

26. You play with your customization, and I play with my formatting.

27. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future!

28. Why do you get up so early? The nightclub isn't open yet!

29. Poor Nike, rich Adidas, gangster wearing Armani.

30. Others have a background, but we have a back view.

31. If measured by happiness, life is actually very short.

32. If no one is cute enough, you might as well love yourself

33. Business girls don’t know the hatred of subjugating their country, and prostitutes don’t know extramarital affairs.

34. Born, easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy.

35. The sky is moving, the earth is moving, let’s have another ice cream.

36. If heaven is sentimental, heaven will also grow old. If man is sentimental, he will die early!

37. Why is my father Li Tie? He really hates iron but cannot make steel.

38. It is difficult to be a good person without poverty, and you will never be innocent without being attacked!

39. What is love in the world? Buddha said: Waste.

40. Our teacher said that you can’t have both the bear and the fish paw.

41. My destiny is determined by me and not by Heaven. Heaven wants to destroy me and I will destroy Heaven.

42. I will be lonely when I am not alone and miss you.

43. Cover your own crotch and respect the crotch of others.

44. In real society, low-key people are the most charming.

45. Although the bird is small, it really fills the entire sky.

46. Most people seem to be unable to resist the power of mistresses.

47. The mistress is actually not wrong. The fault lies in not being able to withstand the temptation.

48. When you are sad, you will cry when you are a child, but when you grow up, you will laugh when you are sad.

49. The average young man is generally arrogant, and the average young woman leans on one side.

50. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, unless there is one male and one female.

51. What if you have a husband and score goals with a goalkeeper?

52. Being rich does not necessarily mean you are wise, and having the courage to touch does not necessarily mean you dare to do nothing.

53. Sometimes, it is better not to know something than to know it.

54. In a hundred years, I will also grow into a towering green onion.

55. As long as you dance well with a hoe, there is no corner that cannot be dug down.

56. Instead of planting grass so that people can lie on it, why not plant cactus instead!

57. The most painful pain is forgiveness, and the darkest pain is betrayal.

58. Love is just a beautiful thing when you are lonely.

59. If it doesn’t belong to you, why bother to care so much.

60. Ugly, but very ugly, that is, very ugly.

61. Only when the pants lose their belts can we understand what dependence is.

62. When you give up on life, life will give up on you!

63. Advertising is to tell others that money can still be spent this way.

64. Just because you are unhappy, you have to face it with a smile.

65. If you are incompetent, you will show off to others, but if you are capable, you will show off to others.

66. If you say that I am a bad person again, I will kill you with a potion!

67. Women are China Merchants Bank, and men are China Construction Bank.

68. A woman chooses a posture that makes her life irreplaceable.

69. In fact, I am a genius, but it is a pity that God is jealous of talents!

70. People either become bad in dissipation or become perverted in silence

71. There are not many principles in the world, it just depends on whether you can do it.

72. Whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for the rest of his life.

73. The so-called loyalty is just because there are not enough chips for betrayal! ()

74. I overturned the whole world just to straighten your reflection

75. Doing nothing means nothing, doing nothing means nothing.

76. Someone asked me: Who will control your life? I don’t.

77. In love, the more you want, the more you lose.

78. Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs!

79. Heaviness is the bargaining chip of life, and pain is the price of maturity.

80. See yourself clearly through great ups and downs, and see your friends clearly through great ups and downs.

81. When your boyfriend becomes someone else’s boyfriend, he becomes more charming.

82. When you want to cut both ways, there is only one knife.

83. If they are all water, why bother pretending to be alcohol? If they are all perverts, why bother pretending to be sheep!

84. The greatest love for your loved ones is to take good care of yourself and don’t cause trouble.

85. Various postures and various moves. All kinds of surging, all kinds of floating.

86. It’s been a long time since anyone has made cowhide look so fresh and refined!

87. I have lost my appetite when I see you, so why talk about sexual desire?

88. When I came to this world, I had no intention of returning alive.

89. If a woman does well, she is a sister-in-law; if she does not, she is a bitch.

90. A woman who pretends to be better than that is called capital, and a man who pretends to be better than that is called perversion.

91. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make promises with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on the back.

92. Please don’t speak English in front of me in the future, okay?

93. It takes time to see that people's hearts have changed, and it takes a long time to realize that the horse power is insufficient.

94. If you can’t put her in a wedding dress, don’t take off her underwear!

95. Life is not an audition, and there is no version of pampering for a lifetime.

96. Although I am not in the world, there is a legend about me in the world

97. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

98. I decorated her life, who will embellish my life?

99. I would like to turn into an angry bird and crash into those pigs.

100. A woman masturbates, so she becomes Japanese!