I want to write some happy words to the person I like! Better make her laugh! Make her happy.

When a factory director read the speech drafted by the secretary at the general meeting of cadres and workers in the whole factory, he read "cadres and workers who have obtained diplomas and cadres and workers who have not obtained diplomas" as "monks who have obtained diplomas and cadres and workers who have not obtained diplomas", and the audience immediately burst into laughter. The factory director glared at him and roared, "What are you laughing at? You big slackers, even monks have diplomas now, shouldn't you study hard? "

[Super hilarious joke message] Two employees in a government department were flushed and didn't even notice the minister next to them. A said, you big idiot! B said: I have never seen such a stupid pig like you in my life! At this time, the minister replied, gentlemen, please pay attention. You forgot I was here.

[Super hilarious joke message] One day, a director went to the local inspection work. After toasting, everyone drank a few more bottles of beer and felt panicked. They went to the bathroom and were doing their routine work. At this time, the guards came to the convenience. When they saw their superiors, they immediately stood at attention and saluted and said, "Hello, chief." Hearing this, the village chief was very unhappy and said, I don't need wet shoes if I don't have hands. ! ! !

[Super hilarious joke message] A confused county magistrate in the countryside made a report one day, speaking like a book and reading from the book. When studying: cadres who have obtained diplomas and cadres who have not yet obtained diplomas. . . Read: "Monks with diplomas, cadres without diplomas. . . "The audience burst into laughter. The leader said angrily, "What's so funny? ! Monks can get diplomas, and cadres should work harder! ! "

[Super hilarious joke message] Someone in the office cursed: "The director is a ball!" As soon as the director came in, he said unhappily, "I count as a ball, so what are you?" ! The man said tactfully, "We count the balls and unite closely around you! " "

[Super hilarious joke message] The leader visited the countryside, and the village head asked the farmers to cooperate and shout slogans, just repeating the last two words. When the leader arrived, the village chief shouted, "Stop whoring! ! "The farmers shouted," Prostitute! Fuck you! "

[Super hilarious joke message] A man came to a pub in a small town in Texas, USA and asked for a glass of wine to help himself. At this time, George W. Bush appeared on TV, and the man shouted, "This is the biggest horse butt I have ever seen." A guest got up from the corner, walked up to him and gave him a slap in the face. After a while, George W. Bush's wife appeared on the screen, and the man shouted, this horse has a big ass, too. "All the guests stood up and everyone gave him a slap in the face." God, this must be George W. Bush's hometown. ""No, this is the hometown of horses. " A guest replied.

[Super hilarious joke message] When the American diplomatic delegation visited the Soviet Union, Soviet reception officials accompanied them to visit the "great achievements of construction" and proudly said: "By the next five-year plan, every Soviet family can have a private jet!" The American asked in surprise, "What do they need a plane for?" Su Xiu officials said, "Of course it works! For example, if you hear in Moscow that Leningrad has started to supply bread, you can fly to the queue immediately. "

American astronauts and Soviet astronauts landed on the moon at the same time. Soviet astronauts announced that the moon belonged to the Soviet regime, and American astronauts got orders from Houston: Don't clash with the Soviets. So, American astronauts watched the Soviets paint the whole moon red and walked away. At this time, they got instructions from Houston: write white Coca-Cola on it!

Stalin, Zhang and Brezhnev went out by train. The train went on and stopped suddenly. Stalin stuck his head out of the window and roared, "Shoot the train driver!" But the car still didn't move. At this time, Zhang said, "Restore the reputation of train drivers!" The car still hasn't moved. Brezhnev said: "Comrades, you'd better close the curtains, sit in your seats and shake yourself and pretend that the train is still moving!" Gorbachev came: "Comrades, get down and push the cart!"

In the investigation of bribery case, the suspect bank governor, corporate legal person and members of Congress were summoned to the hall, and the court used a "lie detector" in an unprecedented way. The corporate legal person first confessed: "I have been bribing 5 million. . . ""beep! " The polygraph makes a sound. The enterprise legal person immediately changed his mouth: "It is 9 million." The president of the bank then admitted: "I only took one million out of the nine million, and the rest was used as bank income. . . ""beep! Hey! " The polygraph rang again. The bank governor immediately changed his mouth: "I said it backwards." Members began to confess: "In fact. . . ""beep! Beep! Hey! "

Seeing that Germany is rich in beer and earns a lot of foreign exchange every year, the Soviet Union decided to follow suit and began to send people to study the technology of brewing beer. After the first batch of beer was made, the Soviet Union sent some samples to Germany for quality appraisal. A month later, Germany wrote back to the Soviet Union: "Congratulations, your horse is healthy!" " "