The more good jokes you tell your girlfriends, the better.

1. A little mouse on the cliff waved its short front paws, jumping down again and again and trying to learn to fly. The female bat next to it looked at it and its head was broken and bloody, and said worriedly: Its daddy , or else tell it, it is not our biological child!

2. The sleep talk meeting in a certain boys' dormitory lasted until 3 o'clock in the morning. Suddenly, he wanted to discuss a question: "What should you say first when you meet a beautiful girl?" A certain guy woke up from his dream and said: "Don't Let's go to sleep!"

3. Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! I won't kill you!" Female staff: "You ruined me even if you kill me!" I won’t tell you either!” The robber looked her up and down and said, “You think so!”

4. The female bird burst into tears, and the male bird said angrily: “How many times have I told you? Oh, this ring was put on me by someone from the Bird Research Station, not a wedding ring!”

5. In the restaurant, woman: Are you planning to marry me? The man is silent. Woman: Don’t think no one wants me. If things get popular, I’ll find someone to marry right here! The waiter came over: Miss, you scared away all the customers in our restaurant.

6. Brother, do you know why I was scolded that day? I saw the words on the clothes on the pretty girl's chest were underlined, so I couldn't help but reach out and click on them.

7. A woman got into a car wearing a one-step skirt. The skirt was so tight that she couldn't lift her legs. She still couldn't unbutton the hem of the skirt after two buttons. She turned around and saw a man looking at her, so she called her a gangster! Man: You are a gangster, now you have already unbuttoned both of us!

8. During the airborne exercise, the commander asked: How many new recruits are there this year? The little warrior said: Just look at your butt when it falls and you will know! The officer said: Why? The little soldier said: The recruits have footprints on their butts!

9. Do you remember? That time you went to the TV station to sing a song, and 3 of the 4 referees knocked you down. Fortunately, one referee came on stage and shook your hand excitedly and said: What a talent! Others cost money to sing, but your singing costs your life!

10. Several people watched the sunrise, and one person pointed to the treetops and said: I saw it. Others said they saw it too. At this time, someone came out from behind the tree holding up his pants: "I saw it when I saw it, what are you yelling about?" !

11. Boys are generally not allowed to go to the girls' building. They must leave before 8 o'clock in the evening. Otherwise, at 8 o'clock, the building manager's aunt will shout loudly: Girls, see you off.

12. The old lady on the bus is afraid of passing a stop, so she always asks questions at every stop. When the bus arrived at a stop, she kept poking at the driver with her umbrella: "Is this an exhibition center?" "No, this is pork ribs!"

13. A village woman went to the market to sell peanuts and worked as a market assistant. When the administrator charged her, she ran away, but was still caught by the assistant administrator. The assistant administrator said: "Yesterday I wanted to hug you to sleep (to file your taxes), but today I have to hug you to sleep (to file your taxes). No."

14. I was chatting with a group of female colleagues this afternoon, and suddenly someone said that I was not a man. I got angry, and I said, you said I wasn’t, so I took it out and showed it to you. The girls all laughed, but one of them was the best, saying, “You take it, you take it~~~~~~~~~~

So... I took out my ID card.

15. Snakes, ants, spiders, and centipedes are playing mahjong at home. After 8 laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who should buy cigarettes. The snake said: I have no legs, I won't go, let the ants go. The ant said: The spider has eight legs, which are more than mine. Let the spider go. The spider said: No matter how many legs I have, I can't compare to the centipede. Let the centipede go. The centipede was helpless and thought: There is no way, who let me have more legs? So Centipede went out to buy cigarettes... More than an hour later, Centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, Centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone asked the spider to go out and take a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked: Why don't you go? Everyone is waiting. Centipede was also anxious and said: Nonsense! You have to wait until I put on my shoes! !

16. A: I have two bad habits that bother me very much. The first bad habit is sleeping naked. B: That’s nothing! What about the second bad habit? A: Sleepwalking

18. Late at night, Teacher Wang finished correcting the last test paper and turned on the radio tiredly, wanting to listen to music and relax.

The DJ's voice came from the radio: "The whole class of class This year), they have gained valuable opportunities to practice..." Upon hearing this, Teacher Wang's eyes became moist, and a comforting smile appeared on his exhausted face. The DJ continued: "...let us listen to this song now, "You Will Not Have Good Results" by Li Huimin..." His eyes turned white, he foamed at the mouth, and he fell to the ground...

19. One day, a driver was robbed while driving. The person who blocked him said, "Get out of the car!!" The person who blocked the way said, "Do 100 push-ups."

The driver was forced to comply. Said: "I've never seen anyone rob someone like you." After finishing, the robber said: "Make another 500."

The driver did it again. After finishing, the driver's limbs were weak and his head was weak. Confused.

The robber shouted towards the woods behind him: "Sister, you can take his car to the city.