Classic Internet funny sentences

Classic Internet Funny Sentence 1

If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

The tongue lasts longer than the teeth, and the software lasts longer than the hardware.

Brushing your teeth is a mixture of joy and sorrow, because you are holding a cup in one hand and a washing utensil in the other

When you hear a certain name and think of certain things, this city is quiet. Heart-pounding.

Playing with feelings? I will make you cry very rhythmically.

Why do you have to wait so hard for me, why can’t you love me, even a little bit

It’s easy to drive, I’m just afraid there will be new people

Please, sir Self-respect, my little girl only sells her body but not her art

You are not afraid of gangsters, I am afraid that gangsters are educated

It is easy to hide when you are exposed, but it is difficult to prevent when you are secretive

You can see it I typed on the screen, but you couldn't see the tears falling on the keyboard. Guo Jingming 20xx

Sending text messages between you and me is called letter communication, frequent text messages are called letter orgasm, sending boring text messages to others is called letter harassment, only receiving but not sending is called letter indifference, and only making phone calls without writing text messages is called letter harassment. It’s called belief in incompetence.

The direction against the wind is more suitable for flying. I am not afraid of thousands of people blocking me, I am only afraid of surrender

When the bird is big, it can be found in any forest

I would rather be proud and moldy , Don’t go to humble love

If someone doesn’t offend me, I won’t offend him; if someone offends me, I’ll be polite; if someone offends me again, I’ll give him a shot; if someone offends me again, I’ll root it out

< p> A person's life is like shit. Sometimes you have worked very hard but all that comes out is just a fart.

Life is like a journey, you may end up overturning somewhere.

There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

Classic Internet Funny Sentences 2

1. Inspiration is a whisper God tells you, but God is very busy and will not tell you a second time

2. We curse ourselves thousands of times People everywhere, but don’t allow others to curse a word

3. Why does grandma like her grandson’s wife but not her daughter-in-law? Because the enemy of her enemy is her friend

4. Fat is a kind of Attitude, meat is a kind of spirit, obesity is also a kind of figure

5. This is not an inn, not a place where you can rest when you are tired

6. You are invisible and do not return to me News, your spirit is really worth learning from me

7. I am not Wu Song, I am no match for you, a tigress

8. Those who have hurt me in the past, Don't worry, I will pay it back to you slowly

9. No matter how bad your grades are, you can still smile brightly. This is the dignity of a bad student

10. There are two types of looks: one is naturally beautiful, and the other is naturally inspirational

11. Just because the crowd took one more look at you, I went blind

12. Happy Eat delicious food to celebrate when you are sad; eat delicious food to comfort you when you are sad

13. If there is no grass anywhere in the world, do you still have to look for it?

14. If If you don’t go out for a walk, you will think this is the world

15. If time could go by, I would still fall in love with you like a man

16. Take out the same clothes as men Fighting power, fight to the end with this world

17. It is so difficult to cheat even if you are good-looking, the invigilator always can’t help but look at me more times

18. Entering the examination room Only then did I know what it means to cry without tears, I won’t

19. What one person wants is freedom, and what two people want is warmth

20. In this age of amnesia Wandering forward, leaving behind a lot of doubts

21. Even if I am ridiculously stupid, it doesn’t matter to you

22. Looking forward to our future, but the reality But he made a huge joke on me

23. To be honest, I can still live without you, but I just lack a little happiness

24. I only found out later that wishful thinking was the same as How ugly (stinky) it is to be behind other people’s butts

25. The flower is beautiful, but I lost the courage to get close to it

26. Sexy women are not coquettish, playboy men He is the meanest

27. Waiting for a discovery, waiting for a touch, let love boil again

28. The love between cats and mice is just a deception

< p> 29. Why does a man embarrass a woman? You will never understand her pain

30. Men and women are just playing for fun, do they need to take it seriously

31. Unknowingly, I have lost myself, when will you come back, the one who loves me?

32. Everything has a shelf life, so can I still have love that has passed its shelf life?

33. I am lonely Standing on the confused street, the vague past gradually became clear

34. You didn’t know how to cherish when I loved you, but now I’m gone

35. Me when I grow up I’ve learned, heartless and emotionless

36. The old world was just a whim

37. Flowers bloom for a season just to wait for your return. Although the flowering period is short, I My heart has not changed

38. We are all sad people, why hurt others so badly

39. He is my dream, how can everyone understand

< p>40. I admit that I am timid and don’t let anyone know that I have liked you

41. Don’t be so self-righteous, not everyone will pay for you unconditionally

42 , the highest state of copying answers, I copied it for a long time and went off topic

43. I don’t have any shortcomings, just that I look a bit ugly

44. Know how to pretend to be confused and continue to be friends. As long as you understand, it’s fine

45. When your hair reaches your waist, there will definitely be a lot of static electricity, otherwise I won’t give it to you.

Open a power plant

46. Auntie lends me your daughter and I will return you two beautiful girls next year

47. I heard that the quilt is a branch of heaven on earth. No wonder I have so much free time. Why don’t you sleep in?

48. It’s better for a girl to be a man, and there will be many good buddies who are like brothers and sisters

49. I like the night because no one can see the tears in my eyes.

50. With your IQ, don’t count the stars, just count the moon. Classic Internet Funny Sentences 3

1. In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles' Day, and college students celebrate Children's Day.

2. To explain is to cover up, to cover up is to be dishonest, and to be dishonest is to be unjust!

3. After getting to know you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

4. Don't put pressure on me, that will be my motivation to become your boss.

5. yes! You are so famous. You have made more than 100 movies, but now you are banned from broadcasting due to the anti-pornography campaign.

6. Dad said that handsome men lie, and mom said that men who are not handsome also lie. Your dad is a good example.

7. Look at your ranking to know how many people are in your class.

8. People in the upper class always like to do some obscene things.

9. Winter is coming and no one knits a scarf for me. I will buy one myself.

10. On the train, a white man and a black woman were breastfeeding their babies. "Mom, mom" the white baby stopped and said coquettishly, "I want to drink chocolate milk too."

11. Being mean is also an art, let’s improve this art together!

12. We are like two parallel lines that can never intersect, and one day the parallel lines will bend.

13. I am not a bone and cannot be chased by every dog.

14. You can't lie to others, because the people you can lie to trust you.

15. You are the song of anxiety in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.

16. If one day I become a pervert, please don't forget that I was also innocent.

17. How many children have been harmed by exams and how many honest children have learned to cheat.

18. The rebirth of a phoenix is ??nirvana, and the rebirth of a pheasant is the transformation of a corpse.

19. I discovered that the way to attract a man is to keep him unavailable; the way to attract a woman is just the opposite, to keep her satisfied.

20. Wear other people's shoes and walk other people's paths, so that others can neither find their shoes nor their path.

21. Death is not scary. What is scary is that you dare not die.

22. I am a flower on the cliff, life and death, no one sees me and praises me.

23. The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you wake up the next morning and can’t remember them all!

24. Don't say sorry to me because we don't have anything to do with it.

25. If cutting my hair means cutting off my memories, then if I cut my head bald, can I lose my memory?

26. I wanted the paper airplane to take me flying into your heart, but unexpectedly it crashed halfway.

27. You chase me naked for two kilometers, and if I look back, you will think I am a gangster!

28. Brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

29. After today, don’t meet again. I’m afraid I’ll beat you several times every day when I wake up.

30. If QB is used as a reward for exams, the country will become rich and powerful immediately.

31. I won’t bend down if money falls from the sky, because even pies won’t fall from the sky, let alone money.

32. If you comfort others, you will never be able to comfort yourself.

33. Heaven has not given me any great responsibilities, but it still tortures my mind and strains my muscles and bones.

34. When I have no money, I eat wild vegetables at home; when I have money, I eat wild vegetables in the hotel.

35.

My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if someone offends me, I will get angry!

36. Top line: Student ID card, admission ticket, ID card, no ID card. Bottom line: Listening questions, reading questions, composition questions, no horizontal marking: the emphasis is on participation.

37. As soon as I got up in the morning, I felt the urge to take a nap.

38. Tencent's "Input" has given many people hope and disappointed many people.

39. I thought about the five words "particularly able to endure hardship" and found that I only did the first four.

40. Women are divided into two types: married and unmarried, and men are divided into two types: voluntary marriage and forced marriage.

41. In front of a beautiful woman: if there is danger, you must save her; if there is no danger, you must save her if there is danger.

42. No one is born who is afraid of death, and no one is born who is afraid of death, so no one should be pretentious!

43. Give me a woman and I can create a nation; give me a bottle of wine and I can lead them to conquer the world!

44. It's not terrible to be out of love for 33 days. What's terrible is that after 34, 35, and 36 days, my aunt hasn't come yet!

45. I borrowed a friend's car to drive, and the friend told me to put gas in the car when I returned it. When I returned the car, I applauded.

46. People in the upper class always like to do some obscene things.

47. Yesterday I went to the city to participate in a pigeon releasing competition, but I ended up going alone.

48. What should you do if you encounter a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.

49. There must be a road in front of the mountain, and even if there is a road, I can't stop.

50. Mom said: Even if you are jealous, you have to pretend to be soy sauce, and you can’t let others look down on you. Classic Internet Funny Sentences 4

1. Wearing a mink, carrying a bag, and hugging a little girl can be very coquettish.

2. He raises his head to the sky and talks and kowtows, saying that he is the eldest brother.

3. It feels good to hold it in your hand, and your heart will naturally feel happy.

4. A good fire wastes carbon, a good woman wastes sweat.

5. Soft China, Hard Jade River, the shorter the hair, the more awesome.

6. It is not a crime for men to use guns, but for women to mix in society.

7. They are all my dishes, no one should use their chopsticks.

8. If there was no passionate kiss then, it would be the passionate rolling on the bed now.

9. Having money does not necessarily mean you are wise, and having the courage to touch does not necessarily mean you dare to act.

10. My sister is an old Chinese medicine doctor who specializes in treating braggadocio.

11. All kinds of small flowers are blooming, and people from all walks of life are very happy.

12. All kinds of chatter in various languages, all kinds of small talk and various tricks.

13. All kinds of small rooms are opened, and all kinds of women have all kinds of fun.

14. On the road to the cow, can you guarantee that you will have an erection all the way?

15. Poor Nike, rich Adi, gangster wearing Armani.

16. Don’t say I’m arrogant. I just don’t deal with animals.

17. A man is like a dog, whoever is capable can lead him away.

18. How many tigers take out their knives for beauties, and how many beauties pay for their money.

19. Don’t use my tolerance of you as your shameless capital.

20. I feel happy when I see b, and I cum when I touch it!

21. Thousands of people are attracted by the rosy complexion. Could it be that the girl is using Dabao?

22. What to do if you get an unexpected pregnancy? Abort the child and keep going.

23. Little white socks and little red shoes, if you are not a horse, you will have broken shoes.

24. Raise your head and look at your crotch with flirtatious eyes, lower your head and your calf will be hard.

25. I only blame myself for being too young. I can't tell whether it's a human or a dog.

26. The road of life is long, and it is uncertain who will be brilliant.

27. Sister, don’t look back, I’m not wearing underwear yet.

28. Fight for life or death, and fight for life all your life.

29. If you suffer a loss, you will be fooled, and you will die in the end.

30. Men love sex because of sex, and women love sex because of love.

31. The radar basically ignores it, and Baotou basically relies on it!

32. The objects can be different, but the broken shoes must be numerous.

33. Don’t be proud, little girl, sooner or later you will be fucked.

34. Black stockings and a small high, girl, you are so sexy!

35. I like boring women who are boring in front of others and coquettish in front of me.

36. Anyone who stumbles upon me will never be able to get up. Whoever lifts me up, I will help him never fall.

37. The person who loves you the most will fuck you the deepest. 38. There are thousands of willows but only one pair of pants.

39. When dry firewood meets the fierce fire, it is called bright fire. When wet firewood meets flames, it is boring.

40. The world is big, but a bed is small. The two people on the bed used to be very good, but they cannot grow old.

41. Boys are not gangsters or have abnormal development.

42. If your heart does not go with love, it will just stay overnight.

43. A young girl is valuable, but a young woman is more valuable. If a rich woman is around, both can be thrown away.

44. See through, don’t tell, and continue to be friends.

45. Why sleep for a long time before death? You must sleep for a long time after death. Classic Internet Funny Sentences 5

Everyone says my sister is beautiful, but in fact it’s all because of her makeup.

A woman’s wardrobe is like a harem, with countless beauties but only a few to love.

Although the bird is small, it really covers the entire sky.

The departure of the stool is the pursuit of the toilet, or the lack of retention of the butt.

If you hang around, you will get annoyed sooner or later.

I have to work hard to realize my dreams to make up for the bragging I did when I was a kid.

I will miss you very much after you leave, why don’t you leave yet!

It’s strange, you breathed in so much courage, but all you spit out are sighs.

I can’t satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human.

When you were a child, smiling was a mood, but when you grow up, smiling is an expression.

Success is 3% talent plus 97% not being distracted by the Internet.

There may be several women in the world who don’t eat, but there is not even one woman who is not jealous.

I won’t show you my sadness, because I’m afraid you won’t be able to help but laugh.

Instead of messing around, rather than enduring, it is better to be two or to soar.

Life is like a millstone that never stops turning, crushing hope bit by bit.

The past is profound, but it is not enough to stop the future.

If you want to make chopsticks in your next life, you won’t be lonely.

Women often yearn for men; men often yearn for women.

Most beautiful women are similar, but ugly women are all different.

Brother, I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

Don’t look back, I only love your back. Classic Internet Funny Sentences 6

●If the heart changes with the circumstances, you are an ordinary person, and if the circumstances change with the heart, you are a sage.

●My heart is full of love, and all the beauties in the world are lovers.

●Standing at the crossroads of life, I am even more hesitant.

●When mice show their power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

●Love is like playing basketball, there is offense and defense, and sometimes there are fake moves!

●Money is not everything, sometimes you need a credit card.

●You won’t tell me even if you kill me, you haven’t used the honey trap yet!

●How can I bear to expose you if you are so good at pretending, and how can I not love you

< p>●You can tell me, if you don’t have a diploma, you’ll be ugly like others, if you’re not smart, you’ll be bald!

●If you were a flower, even a cow wouldn’t dare to lash out.

●If you can’t tolerate me, it means either your mind is too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

●I wish I could grow old together with you by accident.

●Looking from a distance, it is a beautiful scenery, but looking up close, it makes you want to call the police.

●Fools sit and wait for death, while wise men sit and wait for coins.

●Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.

/p>

●If there is a problem, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation.

●The difference between lies and oaths is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

●Rock, paper, scissors, whoever loses will take off his pants

●If you can’t bear it anymore, just bear it again!

●I swear never to swear again!

●You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

●The can puller loves the can, but the can contains Coke in its heart.

●Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art!

●You will suddenly find out after meeting me - it turns out that being handsome can be so specific. !

●If you don’t have medical insurance or life insurance, don’t act bravely after dark

●If it rains, don’t forget to hold an umbrella. If you get wet, gonorrhea will be a problem!

p>

●Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs!

●If you are in a bad mood, go to the supermarket and squeeze some instant noodles!

●If you are not feeling happy, Wherever you live, you are wandering wherever you go!