Super humorous campus jokes

Super humorous campus jokes are frequently used in our daily study and understanding, while our Chinese culture is profound and has a long history, recording many words and sentences. Let's learn about the super humorous campus jokes.

Super humorous campus joke 1 1, it is said that when the college entrance examination, everyone sweated and answered questions. Suddenly I asked, "Please tell Li Hongzhang something about himself." A candidate replied: First, Li Hongzhang led me, and Beiyang Navy defeated the Japanese invaders in the Sino-Japanese War, and let pride of chinese. Second, Li Hongzhang led the China sports delegation and won the first gold medal for China at the Olympic Games for the first time. Patriotic enthusiasm in this life is really not small.

Counting the college entrance examination, we spent 12 years of youth, at least 400,000 to 500,000 tuition fees. We have supported Chen Guang Factory, True Color Factory, Machine-readable Card Factory, numerous paper mills, numerous printing houses, Hanlin Bookstore, Xinhua Bookstore, the transportation industry in the city, the restaurants around the school, and all the teachers' salaries and bonuses, the headmaster's car, gas money and the gymnasium (this ……).

College entrance examination is a national pillar private enterprise! This is our credit!

3. The morning self-study ended today, and the MM in front asked my deskmate for water. The deskmate is very generous. Pass me a bottle of oolong tea. After taking a sip, MM asked, "Why does oolong tea have fruit?"

The deskmate said, "Where did oolong tea come from?" Then he unscrewed the bottle cap to prove it to me.

The MM in front turned silently ... after a few seconds, she turned to ask her deskmate, what did you eat this morning?

Deskmate: eight-treasure porridge ...

Aunt rocky found that there was a girl wandering in the corridor every night.

Wearing pajamas, expressionless, silently staring at the screen of the mobile phone, saying nothing.

This matter has been repeated for many days, and menstruation decided to take care of it.

"Classmate, do you have any difficulties?"

"ah? No. " The girl answered in surprise.

"Then why don't you go back to the dormitory every day?"

"Oh ... because ... the WIFI signal in the corridor is better."

5. The headmaster of a company's children's school came to the company office for instructions. Manager, our school wants to buy a tape recorder for teaching needs. ""well, teaching is not listening to singing. What's the use of a tape recorder? " "At present, we are engaged in audio-visual education, and audio-visual education is a necessary equipment." "What, telephone teaching? Teachers and students are having classes in the classroom. Do you still need to call? Joke! "

6. When I was in college, there was a buddy in the dormitory who had very smelly feet and never washed his feet. But he also has a good habit of folding the quilt square after getting up every day.

One day, he pointed to the newly folded quilt and showed it off to me: "Look at the quilt we folded, just like the soldiers in the army. To put it bluntly, it is a tofu block! "

I said disapprovingly to him, "Your smelly feet have stinked the quilt, and' stinky tofu' is almost the same!"

7. Teachers often educate children to develop the good habit of picking up money. For those children who don't collect money, the teacher also gives some rewards. Therefore, students actively send things to teachers, forming a good atmosphere in the class.

One day, a classmate saw five dollars and wanted to give it to the teacher, but because he was greedy, he bought a marshmallow with five dollars. He just wants to eat it, and he feels guilty again. Finally, he decided to be an honest boy. So he excitedly ran to the teacher's office and said to the teacher, "Teacher, I found a marshmallow today."

8. That day, in the music class, I was telling the students some basic knowledge of musical instruments. After the lecture, we listened to a piece of music and told them that it was played by A Zheng.

A student said softly, "what is it?"

Another student replied, "The needle (Zheng) is the tool your mother uses to sew clothes."

9. The Chinese teacher said to Xiaoming, "Why is your composition an ellipsis?"

Xiao Ming said, "Teacher, you talked about the role of ellipsis last class. Have you forgotten? "

The teacher said, "What does it have to do with composition?"

Xiao Ming said, "Why doesn't it matter? Isn't ellipsis an infinite imagination? This is what the composition I want to write means. "

10, a classmate was lovelorn, drunk as a fiddler, and cried a face of tears.

When we are ready to leave, we just want to pay the bill ourselves and not let him pay the bill.

All the money was taken out, and the classmate yelled, "I'll buy it!"

You are all my brothers. I am very happy today. Don't fight me! "

With that, I took out a stack from my coat pocket and began to count. One, two, three ... specious.

When we looked carefully, he took out a pack of napkins.

1 1, care about life, care about death, care about treatment without money. Men are in charge, women are in charge, and they can't be born. The sky also governs, and the earth also governs. It doesn't matter if the smog covers the whole city. Shop belongs to shop, city belongs to city, and it doesn't matter if you wander in the street. It doesn't matter if the food is polluted after eating it. Housing management is also in charge, construction is also in charge, and it doesn't matter if house prices skyrocket. Born and buried, but it doesn't matter if you can't go to school.

12, there is a tiger in my class, and I am in the senior class. I got up early, but he couldn't get up. We were both in the first period. I often wake him up.

One morning, I was in the classroom. I was afraid that he would be late for high school mathematics, so I sent him a short message, which read as follows: Ah! Dear brother Biao, I wonder if you can leave the bed gently now. Ah! Dear brother puma, I wonder if you will be by my side before eight o'clock. Ah! Dear brother puma, go to hell! Have you got up? Get up before you get up!

13, I was in a political class that day. The content of the class is about filial piety, so the political teacher talked about his father.

"My father left me in 2005, and he ..."

Just as we were moved to tears, a long sentence came from the dark corner, "My grandfather and your father are in the same class ..."

14, university, usually does not study, and has a large number of places at the end of the term.

I go to the library to see trees. Just sitting for a while, a girl came up to me and shouted, "Go away, this is not where you should sit!" " "

I was stunned: "What makes you say that!"

The girl sneered, "Are you new here?

I have been sitting in this seat for a month, and it is already my exclusive seat! "

I also stared at the girl and said, "Don't talk nonsense. I have been on the earth for more than 20 years and never dared to say that the earth is mine! " "

15. Two students are studying electronic engineering at Cambridge University. One is from Egypt and the other is from India. The Egyptian student said to the Indian student, "Do you know that bundles of telephone lines were recently found along the Nile, which proves that the Egyptians invented the telephone?" Indian students immediately retorted: "A few days ago, China was still digging along the Yokogawa River."

The Egyptian student quickly asked, "What did you find?" The Indian student said, "Nothing." The Egyptian students just smiled, and the Indian students went on to say, "This fully proves that Indians have invented radio."

Super humorous campus jokes 2 hilarious campus humor jokes 1

1, the teacher criticized Xue Zha Xiaoming: If you don't study hard now, the children will ask you later, Dad, what should I do about this problem? See how you answer!

Xiao Ming: Ask your mother!

The teacher looked livid and angrily scolded: get out!

Teacher: Good students, let's learn nouns and verbs next. The teacher asked a few questions first. Xiao Ming got up and answered.

Teacher: What are eyes?

Xiaoming: Noun

Teacher: Nose?

Xiaoming: It's also a noun. Teacher: Yes, which one?

Xiaoming: Verb! This is a verb.

Teacher: Get out!

3. Teacher: "Today, we learned the word' bait hides the hook'. Do you understand, Xiao Ming? "

Xiao Ming: "I understand, teacher."

Teacher: "Well, you can explain it to everyone."

Xiao Ming: "Hehehe, hehehe."

Teacher: ...

Xiao Ming: Report to the teacher. I want to hand in my paper.

Teacher: What's the hurry? Check it again carefully.

Xiao Ming: Teacher, I checked it several times and found that I still couldn't answer a question.

Teacher: roll, roll, roll!

In class, the teacher writes questions on the blackboard with his back to the students. It's particularly messy down there. The teacher didn't look back to see who was talking. As soon as he came up, he said, "Xiao Ming, get out! The whole class won't stop!"

At this time, I pushed open the door and went in: "Teacher, I am outside!" " "

Laugh at campus humor jokes 2

Break (burst)

A chemistry teacher and provost in a high school made a deliberate mistake when doing the problem, and then asked a classmate to find out the mistake.

After the students' difficult answers, the teacher said approvingly and seriously: Very well, you saw the teacher's failure.

Everyone was stunned. After class, the teacher just went out and the whole class burst into laughter.

Is it bold or brainless?

Students are bored in class, and the teacher is encouraging everyone to ask questions and speak actively. A female classmate raised her hand and said, "Teacher, can I say something?" The teacher is very happy: "You say." The female classmate stood up, looked around and said, "Who has this book for my boys and girls?"

The head teacher was speechless with tears.

I have to study at night in the third grade, and my mother will advise me not to go if the weather is bad or I cook at home.

After several times in a row, the class teacher called me to the office.

A gesture of inviting parents: "Why did you play truant?" I replied naturally, "My mother told me not to come."

The head teacher was speechless with tears.

Evil in the dark

A young couple were sitting on a rumbling train together. When the train entered a long tunnel, it suddenly became dark in the carriage. The girl thought, at this time, if she ... thought of this, she blushed. As expected, the young man's lips turned up, and with a long kiss, the girl fell into the ocean of happiness.

The sun shone in again, and the girl still blushed and whispered to her boyfriend, "hate, so cruel." Boyfriend paused, "what's the matter? What have I done? " The girl exclaimed, "Didn't you just kiss me?"

Laugh heartily.

When the school reporter group interviewed the long-distance running champion in the department,

Reporter: What were you thinking when you ran to 5000 meters?

Teacher champion: I want to know which lap this is.

Reporter: Do you still have leisure to think about this?

Popular products of the times

At a class meeting, the teacher is instructing junior high school students how to correctly understand "fashion". In order to understand the students' mastery, the teacher asked a question: "Students, what do you think is the most popular in society now?"

Students are talking noisily: some say KFC and McDonald's; Some say online games; There is also a wonderful work, saying that he is in love on the grounds of "adults and children talk".

Finally, Xiao Ming spoke: "I think the most popular thing should be a cold!" " Chickens, pigs and people are welcome! "

Super humorous campus jokes 3 campus humorous jokes

1, college entrance examination, math exam, the weather is cold, I accidentally fell asleep, dreaming. The invigilator told me: wake up, students. There is still half an hour to hand in your papers. Let them dry. They are too wet to bind. ...

2. The teacher reprimanded Xiaoming: "Your handwriting is so scribbled that normal people can't recognize it." Xiao Ming said, "But if I want to write one stroke at a time, you will scold me for writing too many mistakes."

My parents came to see me at school and took them to the hotel at the school gate at night. When registering, the front desk casually asked, "Do you have a membership card?" ? I also casually replied ... "Yes". And then ... then there was a severe interrogation of the parents. ...

4. "I am a geography teacher in high school. Yesterday, I talked about the Volga River in Russia. I said: There was once a very famous painting. Do you know what it is? Student: Tracker on the Volga River. Student: Teacher, do you know another very famous song? Me: ... Student: The love of the tracker on the Volga River. "

5. "Xiao Xin made a new girlfriend online, and everyone bragged about how beautiful his girlfriend was ... One day, Xiao Xin looked at his girlfriend's photo and said in surprise," This is really like a fairy ... "

His roommate was curious for a moment and couldn't help but want to borrow photos to see the fairy who came to the world, ready to be "amazing"; As a result, there was only one question after reading it: "Did you land face first when you came down to earth?" ? 』"

6. A Qiang is always dozing off in class. The teacher can't bear to wake A Qiang up from his lethargy and ask him, "Do you know why the rabbit lost the race between the tortoise and the hare?" 」

"I don't know," A Qiang replied sleepily. 」

"Because the rabbit is dozing off," the teacher said angrily.

"oh! I see, "if A Qiang thought," all the turtles didn't doze off! "

7. When my classmate was lovelorn, I went to comfort her and said, I'm sorry for your loss. By the way ... after hearing this, the female classmate thought for three seconds to wipe her tears, and squeezed out a smile and said, you are a comfort to so many people. ...

When the bell rang, the classroom was still noisy. As soon as the teacher struck the table, he immediately became quiet. Then the teacher shouted, "didn't you hear the bell?" After a silence, a deep voice came from the corner of the classroom: "When did you hear the bell?"

9. There are six people in a dormitory. The fourth one snores, which often keeps us awake. Once the second one can't stand it, it's a slap in the face. After waking up, the fourth one looked at the second one in horror, and the second one said, Have a nightmare, and the second brother will cover you with a quilt. Old four said sadly, thank you, second brother.

10, Xiao Zhang doesn't like studying, and his grades are very poor. As the university was about to graduate, he asked the professor, "Teacher, what will you study after graduation?" Professor: "job advertisement."

1 1. The girlfriend of the math department wants to break up, and her boyfriend asks why. Woman: You are poor and have a bad personality. You gather in front of everyone. Five people and six people, you like to learn more, but your grades are a mess! Man: You exaggerate! Woman: I'm almost there!

12. I have been teaching art and design for many years, and I often encourage students to be creative. Another painting exercise in junior high school is "Association of Hands". There is a black drawing paper in my homework. After reading it for a long time, I didn't draw anything on either side. Only on one side of the drawing paper, I vaguely found the name, class and proposition written in pencil: "I can't see my fingers."

13, people who go to college are sometimes naive. Last week, the new monitor of our class took office and announced at the class meeting that the whole class would be organized to travel on the first day of the New Year's Day, and the destination was decided by the whole class through voting. As soon as I opened my mouth, I discussed with my deskmate where to play, and finally we decided to go to the zoo. For convenience, I wrote a "zoo" on the ballot.

After receiving the tickets, the monitor sang in front of his classmates: "One vote for Nanshan Ski Resort, One vote for the Great Wall …" Suddenly, the monitor raised his hand and shouted: "Who wrote this 200? The funds for this activity are limited, so you can not play, but you can never send 200 yuan! "

14. Teacher knowledge of nature introduced all kinds of poisonous snakes in the forest to the students on the blackboard and taught them all kinds of emergency measures.

The teacher then asked, "What should you do if you meet a cobra?"

The student said eagerly, "break its glasses first!" " "

15, the most charming short message: the meteor of love says to you: love+love = very love, love-love = the starting point of love, love * love = infinite love, love/love = the only love!

16, the teacher asked two unruly children to stay after school and wrote their names 100 times. One child has been writing home for a long time, and the other is still writing. The teacher asked, "What's going on?"

The child whimpered and replied, "This is really unfair! His name is Hankin Frank, and my name is Ali Zarour Bin Hassan Ibrahim La Boudoul Rajim. "

17. In the first class after the long vacation, the rogue teacher asked the students passionately, "Do you miss me?"

The students unanimously answered "No-".

"But I miss you!"

The student is puzzled: "Y?"

"Because I love you!" The teacher's passion remains the same.

There are many questions in the classroom.

"Don't believe it? Alas, it forced me to complain about the history of revolutionaries! " The teacher said sincerely, "It was the first time that I set foot on the glorious post of teacher, and an old teacher who devoted his life to education gave me lessons." . He said that the most important thing to be a good teacher is to love your students. "

The voice of doubt is gone, and the expression of doubt is still there.

"He also told me," the rogue teacher continued, "that if you can't do the above, you should at least do half of it, and that is the female student who loves you." ……

18, freshmen report to school.

Teacher: "Parents' names? "

Student: "Li Dameng."

Teacher: "Relationship with you?"

Student: "No, he often hits me!" " "

19, Toby's father bought Toby a small football. He took it to school and had a good time.

The teacher came over and touched Toby's head and said, "Toby, you are a primary school student, not a kindergarten child anymore. You should know how to care about your classmates." Lend your ball to that poor little boy who has no father, will you? "

Toby hesitated for a moment and said, "Can I lend my football to his father?"

20. Teacher: "Which tooth of a person appears at the latest?"

Student: "Dentures."

2 1, "The boiling room has always been an inconspicuous place, but the place where love takes place has always been irregular. Perhaps it is in this place that people will love each other all their lives, or at least meet the right person. Therefore, in the spirit of "Three Lights Policy", we will not let love run away anywhere. So, when you make up your mind to meet love, you can set off for the boiling water room!

Premise: bring at least two bottles, otherwise it will make people feel insecure, at least not diligent enough. Time: It is the peak time to turn on the water after dinner, so it is not recommended to take action in winter, because it is easy to see foggy places in a boiling room, and then it is impossible to treat inferior girls as clowns, so ... "

22. One day, I asked my mother who was watching TV in the mirror, "Mom, do you think my face has lost weight recently?" My mother turned her head and studied it carefully for a long time. She said, "My face is not thin, but my eyes are thin."

23. Article 1: In high school, the whole school must wear school uniforms, and a repeat student never wears them. The teacher in charge of this field squats at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw that the classmate didn't wear a school uniform and asked him why he didn't wear it.

This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead. Why should I wear mourning clothes? Second, an art teacher is famous. A newspaper has a large-scale report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always told me that you are really good, and you have published photos in the newspaper ..." A student: "Looking for you?" From then on, the art teacher refused the student to take art classes. The third time: in Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the question, and the classmate was in a daze and could not speak. The teacher said helplessly, "you will." ...

24. The chemistry teacher did experiments on dilute hydrochloric acid and zinc. He prepared the test tube and poured some hydrochloric acid. I waited for a long time, but there was no response. I was puzzled and asked a classmate to answer: this classmate, please tell me why there is no bubble.

Classmate: Teacher, you didn't put zinc!

Teacher: This student answered very well!

25. A teacher gave an example when explaining the word "miracle": a man jumped from the eighth floor and escaped unscathed. He hoped that the students would create "miracles".

But a classmate replied: lucky.

The teacher was disappointed and said that the man climbed to the eighth floor and jumped down, but he was still not injured.

A classmate replied: by chance.

The teacher was very angry and had to say, that man climbed the eighth floor again and jumped down again. ...

Before the teacher finished speaking, a classmate replied: He is used to it.

26. In the composition class, the teacher's topic is "the value of life".

A student who sells seafood at home wrote: "Live fish is 80 yuan per catty, and dead fish is 20 yuan per catty;" Live shrimp per catty 100 yuan, dead shrimp per catty 30 yuan; Live crabs are 40 yuan per catty, and dead crabs can only be thrown into the trash can. Therefore, life is precious and must be cherished.

27. A wise man taught one of his students, "When it rains, you rush into the rain, hands in the air, and you will find out the truth". A few days later, the student came back and said,' I did as you said, and the rain flowed into my neck, and I felt like a complete fool',' Yes', and the wise man said,' That's the truth'?