Funny quotations of humor and ridicule

Humorous quotations

The life of eating food is like a train. To sum up, it is to eat, eat, eat. The following are the classic funny quotations about humor and ridicule that I collected for you. Welcome to read them.

humorous quotations 1

1. You are dragging a pig shopping, and you look very happy. I said with sympathy: Look at a person's grade, just look at who he is with. ? Before I finish, I will see the pig abandon you with disdain!

2. You and I are both angels with one wing. We can only spread our wings and fly by hugging each other. It is said that people come to the world to find the other half. I finally found you with great difficulty, only to find that our wings are smooth.

3. Occasional forgetfulness doesn't mean eternity. During busy hours, a faint yearning lingers in my heart. On the lonely journey, please accept my earnest, caring and sincere wishes; Miss you, invite me to dinner!

4. You should be very clear about your position in my heart since I met you. Except for you, others are a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you are, two piles of shit.

5. If being beautiful is a mistake, I have made a big mistake; If cleverness is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a man. But you're fine. You're right and innocent. I really envy you!

6. Men should be more painful to their wives, be better to their children, be filial to their parents, be loyal to their friends, be careful with their work, and be hard on themselves. Please smack your head with the phone in your hand after reading it!

7. Top secret document of the 16th National Congress: In order to improve the quality of the people, the State Council has decided to sweep away a group of ugly young people with low energy. You should pack up your things and go out for shelter immediately. Don't thank me. Go quickly and pay attention to safety!

8. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you far away. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: take a shit on your head!

9. I miss you every day and every night. I always want to engrave illusions. I pay attention to my sight during the day and meet you in my dream at night. My thoughts are spinning around you. Why don't you come to me-5 million!

1. In order to thank my friends for their kindness, we now offer a one-day weekend tour, with a full round trip by bus. The activities include cleaning the floor and kitchen of my house, scrubbing the toilet, washing clothes and bedding, and providing lunch for 21 people. Sign up as soon as possible!

11. On behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, I would like to strongly protest to you: Why is there no Taiwan Province on the map of China left by your bed wetting last night? ! ! Remember to make it up tonight.

12. A pair of flies and their mother are having dinner. The son frowned and asked his mother:? Mom, why do we eat shit every day? Mom said:? Don't say such disgusting things while eating, eat while it's hot! ?

13. One monk has to carry water to drink, and two monks have to carry water to drink. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone.

14. Come on, wake up a dream! Say hello to dispel a bit of loneliness! A greeting warms a heart! A blessing, touched by a concern! Nothing, comfort a hesitation! A short message wakes a pig!

15. A cricket bet with a pig that if I jump into the grass, you won't see me. The pig said, What if I can see you? So cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching?

16. Friendship is full of meaning to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. When you jump out of a tall building, I will stick my head out without hesitation. Wow, I'm not dead! ?

17. Someone told me that it is the noblest thing to send short messages to the most talented, healthy, honest and kind people. Thinking about it, I think this person must belong to you! If you feel the same way, please give me one!

18. I haven't seen you for a while. I really miss you! Are you okay over there? Does the tiger bully you? Does the lion scare you? Did the tourists throw anything at you? Are you used to reading short messages with two little hooves on your mobile phone?

19. Don't be discouraged when you encounter setbacks. Try to cheer hard, strive to have backbone in the upper reaches, avoid being upset and angry, live an optimistic life, and don't let off steam in crowded places.

2. I really miss you! I call the dawn at night, and the stars in the sky know my heart. There is only you in my heart! How can Qian Shan Wanshui block my love for you! I really miss you, dear RMB!

21. The most romantic thing is to walk with you slowly and watch the octogenarian being gentle with his great-grandmother on the roadside. The happiest thing is to walk with you slowly and watch your cheerful gait, which is my enjoyment! Running away again, my pet dog!

22. Without you, I forget to eat and sleep. Without you, I don't think about tea and rice. Without you, I have something to worry about. Without you, I have my heart and soul. Without you, I have nothing to do. Damn game.

23. According to your birthdates, you are bound to make a fortune in the near future. Please act according to the secret immediately: blow an explosive hairstyle, wear a patched dress, hold a stick in your right hand, hold a bowl in your left hand, and walk along the street with a spell: Come on!

24. No one can understand the sadness of this city except the wind. No one will see the end of this story except the rain; Except for you, no one is worth worrying about and following; Dear, I want to say to you: it's time to pay back the money!

25. Judging from your almond eyes, cherry mouth, Liu Yeer's curved eyebrows, slender hands, tall figure, charming curves and beautiful face, you must have had a full face!

26. I can't resist missing you. I only rely on images to express my lovesickness. Don't laugh at my fascination with you, just because of the wise saying-life has never been shit, leave a photo as toilet paper!

27, thank you for listening to my complaints, because with you, I can get rid of all the unhappiness! Thank you for accompanying me through every minute, because of you, my life is no longer lonely! Wangcai, I can't live without you.

28. Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. Therefore, I will be a cow and a horse in my next life, and I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat.

29. The next step is to witness the miracle. Press the flip key and you will smile. Press it twice and you will giggle; Press it three times and you will laugh happily; Click four times, congratulations, a fool was born!

3. What should I do if I am thirsty? Go to the seaside for a walk; What should I do if I am hungry? Come to the hot pot to rinse; What if there is no money? Find a fool to cheat; What if you have no guts? Go to the cemetery to practice; What if I miss you? So send a text message and try it. Humorous quotations 2

1. Heartless, you can live a hundred years, have a clear conscience, and you are not tired.

2. I don't know music, so sometimes I'm unreliable and sometimes I'm out of tune.

3. I took your promise to feed the dog last night and found the dog dead the next morning.

4. There was an activity in a shopping mall yesterday. I heard that there was a song by BiBi Zhou, so I went there. I didn't know there was someone named Zhou Bi until I got there.

5. It is not difficult for me to believe you. I'll take a look at you first!

6. I counted my fingers and found that you lacked me in your life.

7. I just saw a girl in Weibo who said that she really wanted to see Zhao Zhongxiang. I replied? After the rainy season? , the girl replied quickly? Is it time for animals to mate again? .

8. In this fickle age, the best way to make others remember you is to owe money and not pay it back.

9. If people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; People make me again, and I will give you a shot; People still attack me, exterminate the grass.

1. In order to add nutrition to my daughter, I cooked roast chicken wings in the oven. After my daughter came back, I took the chicken wings out of the oven and found that there was something wrong with the color. Obviously, the heat was not there, and I said to myself: Alas, it's not baked well this time. ? My daughter standing by whispered to me:? Mom, it's okay. I didn't do well in the exam this time. ?

11. Fart is the unyielding soul of the food you eat.

12. I used to be young and aggressive, but now that my youth is gone, I am so aggressive.

13. There are no fat people in the world, and there are more thin people, so there are fat people!

14. I often wake up from my dream, because I had a hungry dream, a hungry dream.

15. The three things I fear most in my life are the first fear of death, the second fear of getting sick, and the third fear of dying when I am sick.

16. Three points are destined for heaven, seven points depend on hard work, and ninety points are at the teacher's place.

17. Never argue with the same fool, because in the end, you won't know who is the fool.

18. The life of eating food is like a train. To sum up, it is to eat, eat and eat.

19. Every time I see a couple, I will sing that song. Happy break-up, wish you happiness? .

2. Teacher:? Nobita, the teacher gave you 9 yuan, and then you borrowed 1 yuan from Pang Hu, so how much money do you always have? Nobita:? yuan. ? Teacher:? You don't know anything about math! ? Nobita:? You don't know anything about Pang Hu! ?

21. Women in the new era have gone to the hall, climbed over the fence, fought against mistresses and beat hooligans, but they just can't get out of the kitchen.

22. If you don't want to answer my phone, just say so. Don't always let others move to help you say sorry to me.

23. After breaking up, I shook my head smartly, and my wig was thrown away ...

24. I went to eat Italian pizza for the first time, and I didn't know what to eat, so I ordered a set meal with 38 yuan and 8 yuan as a gift. After the meal, I found something missing. I thought that there was a cheese missing, so I shouted, waiter, why hasn't my cheese been served yet? I've eaten it all, should I let others eat it? Waiter: Sir, your cheese has been poured on your pizza. Me: Nothing, you go and get busy!

25. In every dormitory, there is one who grinds his teeth, one who talks in his sleep, one who snores and one who sleeps late. ;