My life is to break the secular life.

Recently, I often hear some discussions about birth, and I often see some articles on the internet about the influence of birth on a person's life. Of course, there are also many TV dramas, which are very intuitive and make the audience think.

I was reading a book recently. You flew to your mountain like a bird and talked about the influence of family background. To put it bluntly, it is the influence of parents on children. Children's thoughts, behaviors, demands and expectations are all influences on children. Before continuing to write an article, I must introduce this book first. Tara, the author, never went to school before 17, and neither did several brothers and sisters in her family. Father thinks that school is a place to teach bad people, and should not study, go to hospital, believe in science and only believe in God. The author who grew up in the mountains was deeply bound by his parents' obsession and ignorant education. Later, I gradually saw a different world, different people and different ideas, and began to leave my family and start a new life. Finally, I got a master's degree from Cambridge and a doctorate from Harvard through my own efforts, which is admirable.

There are also some wonderful comments from fans: no matter how reluctant to admit it, some parents' behaviors and ways of thinking will be accurately copied after their children grow up, whether good or bad, or even affect their lives. Being born in a family is like a thread. I want to break it, but I'm afraid it will fly too far and too high and fall to the ground.

Through ideological struggle, the author of this book fights with his own actions, from mountains to universities, from the outside to escape and redeem, to get rid of the old self, to break the concept of parents' imprisonment, to reshape his new self and fly to his own mountains.

I often wonder, what kind of life does my own life belong to? Am I flying to my own mountain? Later, I thought about it. My life is a life that breaks the world and flies to my mountain. Although it hasn't arrived yet, I don't know when it will arrive, but I know the direction of that mountain.

Last year we played together until our big friends got married. I am two years older than my friend, and my friend is 29 years old. I am 3 1 this year. After sending her a congratulatory message, she replied: You should get married soon, too. It's 3 1 You know, women get old after 30, and it's hard to have children. And the neighbors in my hometown have been saying.

I looked at the information and thought for a while. Actually, I was in a trance. We grew up together and went to school together. She knows my personality, my dreams and my pursuits, but now she is old and lives in different cities.

I replied to her: Don't you know me yet? I never care what others say in my life, and I don't follow the crowd. 3 1 is just a number to me. How can you choose to get married because you are old? If I get married, it must be because that person is right.

My friend replied to me: Yes, this is you!

I remember a saying in the golden age: we can't choose how to live and how to die. However, we can decide how to love and how to live.

I am a very independent person, but I am not an extreme person. Obviously, the reason why I don't get married is that I haven't found the right person yet. A few years ago, my parents often urged me to tell me by innuendo that I need to think more about getting married when I am old. But my parents never interfere, even other people's daughters are anxious about blind date, and I have never been to blind date. Friends who are urged to get married by their parents often ask me, "I see you are in a good mood every day." How happy your parents are not in a hurry to get married! "

I said: occasionally, but the purpose of their urging is to know my recent situation, my life plan, and whether I have included marriage in my plan and my future.

The friend asked: Then how do you communicate with them? My parents can't communicate at all. It's too difficult.

I said: in fact, I have been used to independence since I was a child, and I am used to being responsible for everything I do. When I was a child, I was like a little transparent. Everyone in my family looks at my brother. My brother has a nickname called Giant Panda. The best thing is my brother's. Eat, drink and be merry, I am only one year older than my brother. I have to listen to my parents and let my brother go. I have to listen to my parents and wear my sister's old clothes. Even if my brother hits me and scolds me, I can't fight back.

At the age of 8, he began to rebel and began to fight with his brother. Even if I hit him ten times, my brother will hit me ten times. And parents just say: if children fight, whoever is killed will die.

I have been very independent since I was a child and I am used to being responsible for my own life. In the past, my parents also urged marriage, and I began to urge marriage from my sophomore year. A 20-year-old girl in her hometown has to shoulder great responsibilities, do housework, help her parents, take care of things and do many things. Nothing, housework is still a mess.

In fact, in the face of my parents' urging for marriage, I only asked them one question: Can you be responsible for my life?

I said: we can't be responsible for your life, you have to be responsible for it yourself.

My dad said again, but you are really old in our hometown, and the neighbors laugh at you as an old girl.

I asked my dad again: Can my neighbors be responsible?

My parents are silent. I told them: not everyone must do what they should do at the right age, and there is nothing they should not do. I work hard to get into college, work hard, start a business and realize the value of life. I am very happy. Just get married later, maybe not. Not every woman exists to get married and have children. Maybe I am married, but I have no children. Maybe I have children, but I won't get married. There are many choices in life. Some people may follow the path of most people and live a happy or unhappy life. Maybe I'm taking a path that breaks the path of most people. I live a happy or unhappy life, but the value of cash withdrawal is different.

Not just getting married, but actually I've been breaking the secular life. I have always held my life firmly in my hands and have been fighting against fate. After the college entrance examination, many people choose majors and schools that sound more reliable, and of course the tuition fees are also cheap. And I chose my major in that TV series, fashion design. I don't know when I watched the TV series. I remember it was in primary school. The designers inside are great. I swore to be as good as her. So I, who had never studied painting, resolutely rejected everyone's suggestion and chose a private institute of fashion. That's right. I have never raised my art, never learned to draw, and I don't know where my artistic cells come from. I just like to match my sister's clothes at will since I was a child, and I can boast in front of the mirror for hours. Maybe all this has its origin.

The whole family was shocked when the admission notice came down. Tuition is more than 10 thousand a year, while others' tuition is only a few thousand yuan The whole family denied this school and thought that I could go out to work instead of going to college. So waves of relatives and neighbors came to my house to persuade me that the scene was too clear. I don't know what I'm doing. Several times I decided to give up resistance, so as to satisfy everyone. After two days and nights of insomnia, I persisted. Then everyone left. I sent a message to my father. If I am not allowed to go to school, I will run away from home. This is a threat, and the family has compromised.

Later, I prepared something for the school, but I was excited and helpless. In other people's homes, parents happily accompany their children to school, but I don't know what kind of mood to use. My brother reluctantly sent me to school. I've never been on a train, and I'm still a road idiot for the first time. I understand my brother's unhappiness. After all, the high tuition is my dad's, but that's my brother's money. I wouldn't be happy either.

Maybe everyone thinks I'm a wayward person, including my parents, but what they don't know is that I'm only here to see the school I missed, and I've been studying for so many years, so I have to satisfy this wish. I decided to have a look and then go home. I will leave it to fate.

Bypassing the school, my brother and I got on the train home. He was very happy on the train. I watched the scenery outside the window flash by, and the scenery in the distance was so charming. I've been thinking all the way. Is it right or wrong? Is this the end of my life? What's next? Find someone to get married and have children and repeat their parents' lives? Then why should I go to school? I don't know who to choose in my parents' and my own life. Choosing one is doomed to betray the other. I'm in trouble. A week after I came home, I had nothing to do and I didn't know what the future would be like. I keep a diary every day, which is a habit. One night, I looked through my old diary and wrote: I want to be an awesome person, I want to shut up those who label me, I want to let my grandmother know that I am doing well and I want to live my own life. After reading it, I shed tears. At that moment, my life suddenly became clear, very clear. Even if I haven't studied painting, I must go to this university, and my fate must be in my own hands. Even if I am unhappy or unsuccessful in the future, I will not give in. The value of my life must not be for submission and secularity, nor for taking the road that others have taken. My life can only be my own responsibility, and no one will be responsible.

This time I went to school by train with my luggage alone. I have never regretted it until now, and I even thank myself for my persistence. Maybe others think I am like this, I am like that, but at least I make my own decisions in my life.

In the second year after graduating from college, I worked as an intern in Shenzhen. Later, I met two colleagues. When talking about co-production, the three of us are ready to start a business. Not long after I worked, I really didn't save any money, so I borrowed 50 thousand yuan from my father. At that time, my family objected and thought I was fooling around. It was the Spring Festival, and my sister took me to see our famous local master. The master told me that I am not suitable for starting a business, and my career will be better after marriage. Of course, how can I believe it! With 50 thousand yuan, we set off in a hurry. We really made money in the first six months. I thought I would be a rich woman in the near future. Later, because of the partner problem, he declared bankruptcy, failed to start a business, and had nothing. Later, I was depressed for a year and didn't go to work for a year. Depressed days should be said to be hell on earth. Later, a friend accompanied me out of the darkness. Yes, I came back to life with a strong desire to survive. I found my self-confidence and happiness, and found my goal in life.

I started over and got into debt. Many people think I can't stand it and worry about whether I can survive. Actually, I'm not bad. Although I am in debt, I believe I can pay it back. In the next two years, I thought I would have a smooth sailing, but in fact, I was very tired when I was fighting my fate. I used to have a lot of inexplicable things. For example, if you believe your colleagues' words and file a lawsuit with the company, you will be detained in the trap of your colleagues 10 days. I face everything alone, but it's not that terrible. Looking back on the road I have traveled, I am a little tired, a little excited, a little story, and a little strong.

My friend said that if I were you, I would collapse.

Sometimes I wonder what kind of life path I am taking. Is this the life I want? Just like when I was in college, even when I was in primary school or high school, my family never gave me any advice or opinions. So I have embarked on this road for myself, groping for progress, whether right or wrong, happy or unhappy, at least my life is in my own hands.

Although heavily in debt, it is my duty to give my parents tens of thousands of dollars and pocket money every year.

Someone once told me: I have lost my mind. My parents are in charge of everything, studying, studying, living and working. Then they suddenly left me alone, but I didn't know what to do. I have no ability to pursue my own life.

I told this friend that I can't feel the arranged life in the face of all choices and destinies, but sometimes I envy it, but if my life is arranged or copied from others' lives, then I should be unhappy.

Although I am not very successful now, at least I have tried, I am trying, struggling and realizing my survival value. Breaking everything should be, although it will be difficult and tiring, I don't know how it will end, but I don't regret it. I am very happy. Go to the next life and be an independent me.

I have been flying to my mountain like a bird. Although the mountain is high and far, as long as I fly, I will definitely arrive.