An interesting short message

1. Do you know why you are a moonlight clan? Because you earn very little money.

2. This life is actually very short. As soon as you close your eyes and open them again, you fall in love. When you close your eyes again, you will get married. Howl! Do you know what is the most painful thing in my life? They are two people who really love each other, but they can't get together. Howl ~ What could be more painful than this, you know? My girlfriend fell in love with my buddy, but I lost my daughter-in-law and friends. Howl ~

When I got up in the morning, my wife said to me with a pale face, honey, I'm not feeling well. My tears came down at that time: * * finally found my conscience?

The pregnant woman went to the hospital for examination, and an intern gave her a B-ultrasound. After the photo was taken, the intern said seriously: You should be prepared. You may be pregnant with a freak. It has two heads, four hands and four legs! The pregnant woman was so frightened that she almost fainted! Then an old doctor came over and looked at the B-ultrasound and said, What are you talking about? These are twins!

In Chinese class, the teacher asked Xiaoming to make sentences with the Great Wall. Xiaoming replied: The Great Wall is very long. The teacher is unhappy: no, create another one! Xiao Ming is even more unhappy. He turned his head: Why, I'm not Qin Shihuang!

6. One day, Xiaoming asked his grandmother very grievance: Grandma, Grandma, do you think I am a stupid child? Grandma replied: silly child, how can you be a silly child?

7. One day, the school organized a literary evening, and the gentle monitor wanted to show it and sing "We are all family", but we were too nervous to go on stage. Next, I will introduce song for you. We are all human beings.

One day, a new door was installed in the office, but it was very difficult. A female colleague asked the doorman if this was all right. The master said: This door is like a wife. The smoother you use it!

9. An old lady in Putian sells sugar cane by the roadside. A bus stopped and a foreigner came to the old lady's booth to buy sugar cane. She just weighed the sugar cane and didn't pay. The car started. The old lady urged: hurry up, you give me the money and I will marry you. Outsiders were so scared that they didn't even take sugar cane, so they quickly got on the bus.

10, a girl said to a boy: Let's talk. The boy said: Good! God, it's a big You Lan, and there are birds flying in the sky. The girl hit him and said, Your jokes are so corny! Talk about something outside the sky. The boy put on a serious tone and said, It is said that beyond the sky, there are more advanced life forms than us!

1 1, video chat between dad and cousin. The camera wasn't pointed at my dad at the beginning of the video. Cousin shouted over there: I can't see you! My dad said: I am invisible!

12, Senior: Junior, can you do this problem? I can teach you. Junior: Ah ... Senior, I already have a boyfriend. Senior: Oh, do you know anyone who can't do this problem?

13 on Monday, I got on the bus without anything except 1 yuan. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants: an adult goes out without anything, and it is not shameful to lose it.

14, Xiao Ming said to his father: Dad, I am so cold. Dad said: it's not cold to stand in the corner. Xiao Ming didn't understand and asked: Why? Dad said: Because the angle is 90 degrees. .

15, I can't bear it, I can't bear it, I really can't help it, I feel so bad. You always sway in front of me, making me want to forget. Please don't pose in front of me. I'm afraid I can't help dropping my cell phone.

16, my life: the probability of my birth is one in 250 billion, and I was born as a result; The probability that I get an electric shock is one in a billion, and the result is always an electric shock; The probability that I won * * is one in 20 million, and I missed the deadline. The probability that I fall in love with someone else is half, and the result is that I love her and she doesn't love me.

17, when I was in junior high school, there was a product in my dormitory that was quite boring. An English class in heaven was severely cleaned up by a fat English teacher. The goods didn't say a word, and people in our dormitory didn't think so. As a result, this product went to study in the evening, turned the switch of the English teacher's battery car to the end and glued it with 10 1 glue! When the teacher came home, when the key was turned, people and cars jumped out directly. This scene is really impossible to look straight at!

18, if I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

19, if a drop of water falls from the sky, it is a tear I miss you; If two drops of water fall from the sky, it is that I love you and am ecstatic; If there are countless water drops in the sky, it is … stop dreaming, it's raining!

20. Xiao Qian took his girlfriend shopping. His girlfriend took a fancy to a lipstick. Xiao Qian was too expensive. He said: You look better without lipstick. This is called natural beauty. My girlfriend was very dissatisfied and said, it's a good thing I didn't let you buy clothes, otherwise you would definitely say that I look better without clothes. This is called human beauty.

2 1, wife irony: wild boar can live for 50 years, domestic pigs can only live for 5 years; Wild dogs can live for 20 years, while domestic dogs can only live for 8 years. Life lies in exercise. You can't keep moving like a turtle. Jim asked, "So, honey, how many years can a turtle live?"

22, you do things low-key, simple life, simple thinking, no rhetoric, is a rare honest man, but I listen to my mother, don't puppy love, otherwise I. . What a terrible thing it is for me to fall in love with you so dull!

Recently, you have lost weight by staying up late and working overtime every day. I specially asked someone to prescribe a nutritional formula for you. You must eat according to the recipe on the formula! This is a recipe from a famous animal nutrition expert! Remember to do it!

After you left, my life was a mess, I didn't have enough to eat and I couldn't sleep well. I miss you so much that I miss you day and night. I'm afraid you'll get sick and have an accident. I sincerely hope that you will make a fortune and go back to your hometown so that I can return the computer!

25. You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, only to find out after trying to find you: mom! Our wings are on the same side!

26. Someone rode into the street, crossed an intersection and spread his hands. The traffic police saw it and exclaimed: Good palm! Someone waved happily and replied: comrades have worked hard!

27. A diaosi went to work without an umbrella, and it just rained and went to work. A beautiful woman came forward to shelter him from the wind and rain, and diaosi said indifferently, no, I didn't wash my hair in the morning, just wash it.

28. A super diaosi friend recently made a girlfriend, and a bunch of buddies couldn't believe it. Today, when we were walking on the road, he suddenly said: My girlfriend cooks super delicious food! I didn't even think about it. I answered directly: Shit! Now technology is really developed! I can cook!

29. The aunt selling slippers at the door is really a woman in Leng Yan. I asked her how much a pair of slippers cost. She said 20. May I say 10? She said yes, do you want your left foot or your right foot?

30. The director of the towel factory received a phone call. The magpie patterns printed on the towels you produced are really lifelike! The director said happily, thank you very much! How can you praise me? As soon as I wiped my face with a towel, magpies flew to my face.

3 1. The miser was on a business trip. He was afraid that others would steal the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on a piece of paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

The teacher asked the Sports Commission to make sure that all the girls in the class were here, so he told him to clean up all the girls in the class. The sports commission is a kid, so he asked, which one? The teacher said: I know I still want you to go!

33. Maybe because of heredity, I am poor at math. Once I got 58 points, my father encouraged me to say, Come on, I passed 3 points.

34. I saw someone sending a message to someone who has a secret crush: Come to my bowl, and the male god replied: I am already there. As a female man, I am also very touched. I made a long-term psychological preparation and sent it to the male god I secretly love: Come to my bowl, and then keep looking at the screen and wait for the male god's reply. The male god immediately replied: Can't you change a nice bowl? ! .........................