How to keep the conversation going? For example, if you have to accompany an important person by car for eight hours, how would you spend this time talking to him?

When talking with people, there are not only speaking skills, but also listening skills. It is impossible not to listen to others. Achieve harmony between speaking and listening. Happy to each other. In addition to the various topics mentioned by colleagues above. How to make conversation popular, I extracted the following passage, and I hope it will help you with conversation skills:

Take time to listen to other people's opinions.

If you are talking to someone and they talk about something that you don't understand or are not interested in, you can say, "I talked to someone about this last time …" so that you can talk about another new topic. In principle, as long as there is a strong curiosity about everything, there will be no topics that are not of interest. Sometimes, some topics that you are not interested in will also bring you unexpected gains and make you fondle it. In other words, when talking with people, you can not only bring interest, but also increase your knowledge. With this idea, there should be no boring topics in your world. If you talk to boring people, you will find interesting places as long as you pay more attention. There are also conversations with old people, parents, bosses, etc. And they often get very fruitful results. Unfortunately, modern people have a strong sense of resistance and often put their parents' words behind them. Please control your temper and listen carefully, and you will find something very interesting and useful. After listening, if you listen carefully, you will find something very interesting and useful. After listening, if you feel it is necessary to criticize, it is not too late to criticize again. Criticism and listening are two different things. If the topic is always confined to popular clothes, times and trends, and some people are not interested in other topics except cooking, this idea limits the scope of the topic, then how can you become an expert in conversation? How can I become a popular person?

People who criticize others are not welcome.

In daily life, it often happens that chatting with people is boring. That person is usually a gloomy, dishonest person who likes to speak ill of others. Such bad feelings will only make each other get along more unharmoniously. If you think the other person is a person with no content, whether you say it or not will bring your interpersonal relationship closer. For example, chatting with colleagues, it is not good to mention colleagues. Although the other person may not contradict you, in fact, he has a different reaction in his heart. First of all, he will think: why do you always like to look so great? Always speak ill of others to improve your image. Second, he will think that you don't understand his mind. Everyone has advantages and disadvantages. Instead of exposing other people's shortcomings, why not put forward their advantages and give them proper affirmation? Third, he will not trust you. Who knows when he will be criticized by you? Therefore, if colleagues want to have a good impression on you, first of all, don't judge others with preconceived prejudices. Listen to others, keep interrupting him and let him finish, and you will have an unexpected new understanding of him. We should know that we will learn something from anyone's conversation. Secondly, in the communication with colleagues, it is often found that others may have different views. There are many people in society who can't be measured by your standards, so please communicate with people with a flexible attitude!

Fortification everywhere can only keep people away.

When interacting with others, if you pretend to sell yourself, if you can't maintain your previous image in the future, then others will greatly discount what you say and it's hard to believe you again. Only by communicating with others naturally and practically can we express ourselves better, and only by learning to treat others warmly with a humble heart can we bring a good impression to others. People with good interpersonal relationships are very comfortable and always have a smile on their lips. If they don't talk, it's like telling you, "I'm listening, please speak!" " He won't let himself look down on everything, but often contacts people with a kind face, which makes people feel that they can communicate heart to heart. For example, you have just been scolded by your boss for some negligence in your work. You feel wronged and uneasy. At this time, if your partner can listen to your story, analyze your mistakes with a calm attitude and give comfort, then it is easy for you to open your heart to him. Of course, I don't just trust others. Should hold: "If the other person wants to cheat me, let him cheat once!" " ! Don't be cheated again. And that's my own misjudgment of people, so this is the price of my lack of cultivation. "With this concept, I won't have a reluctant attitude when dealing with people. Even if I meet a customer for the first time, I can talk and establish a good relationship in Kan Kan. Although the result of defending yourself can be isolated from harmful people, it will also lose the opportunity to make close friends. Let's open our hearts and make friends, and then choose some good friends from them! In the face of elders or people who have a considerable position in society, you can only respond with considerable courtesy, regard each other as a mirror of your life, and take the attitude of learning from them, then you will benefit a lot and become a happy communicator.

Don't spoil others' fun.

Don't spoil others' fun. Nodding is much cuter than interrupting. Conversation includes two parts: listening and speaking. Therefore, these two aspects cannot be neglected. Most people tend to pay attention to what they say, but seldom pay attention to what the other person says. Usually, most people make such a mistake when making a speech: in a speech, all they can think of is "What should I say next?" And often you don't pay attention to what the other person says. If there is another meaning in what the other person says, you can't understand it at all. People who can talk will pay attention to others when they talk, and then put forward their own opinions in a timely manner. On the contrary, some people always raise their bodies at any time when others are talking, eager to try. When they had the chance, they interrupted at once. What such people say is often irrelevant. Therefore, we should pay attention to listening to each other in conversation. The ideal form of conversation is to listen to seven points and speak three points. Pay attention to the other person's words, not just what he says, but also the meaning expressed by the other person's body and movements, as well as his eyes and expressions, and even his clothes and dressing. If you can listen to the other person wholeheartedly like this, the other person will be very happy and have a sense of sureness, because he feels that what he said has been valued by you. Furthermore, if you are serious about what you say to each other, you can also find problems and ask them in time. For example, "Why is this happening?" Or "hmm! I feel the same way. " If you don't listen attentively, you can only answer vaguely, "Oh! I see! " The point of the former is to express what the other person said from your mouth again. Simply put, you are in tune with the other person, or you can recognize the personality of the other person through words. This caring approach will make the other person feel that you are a gentle and considerate person.

Attack again when people are unprepared.

For an eloquent opponent, we must seize the opportunity to interrupt his internal logic and force him to shut up. In daily life, it is most difficult for us to convince those who talk about Kan Kan. If you use the general method, you will fall into the trap of your opponent. But to be silent blindly is to admit that the other side has the upper hand. So we should take measures to pull each other into our own track. To deal with such a difficult person, we must first interfere with his decision. The best way is to interrupt frequently, say something like "makes sense" or "is that right", or pay attention to other things or stare aside. These actions will interrupt his thinking logic and produce many flaws, so as to get a chance to refute. This psychological skill is often used in western parliamentary debates. What officials say in parliament is prepared in advance, and it is not easy for members to undermine their logical thinking. Experienced members will agree with everything the official said, assess the situation, seize the opportunity, take measures to interrupt his series of topics, let his principles collapse and tell the truth. This method is especially effective for eloquent people.

Put others in your position.

An easy way to convince the other person is to put him in your position. "If you were in my position, what would you do?" This persuasion method is the first step of persuasion. Let the other person play the role you play and get what you need from the other person's conversation. This method is equivalent to temporarily handing yourself over to the other party for disposal, letting the other party speak from their own standpoint, and then finding something beneficial to them in the conversation for future use. If you want to convince others, you must involve them in your own affairs and pay attention to them. This is the first condition of persuasion. Then, starting from the other party's concern, to explore the other party's opinions, which is the second condition of persuasion. "If you were in my position, what would you do?" This persuasion method satisfies these two conditions. This method can also be changed to a general statement: "What will you do when you meet such an occasion?" You can definitely find out from the answer that the other person is speaking from his own standpoint, and at the same time find information that is helpful to you.

Hint at your indifference

For a difficult and troublesome opponent, you might as well forget his name on purpose, implying that you are indifferent to you. Different appellations show the intimacy of the relationship between the two sides and represent the respect for each other's personality. If the two sides have met, the other side has no impression of his name at all, which means that the other side doesn't take himself seriously at all. For those who specialize in dealing with people, remembering each other's names and calling them out when they meet next time is a very useful weapon. Guests will feel inexplicably happy and think that they are famous and valued by each other. If you don't want to acknowledge each other's ability and personality, or don't want to deal with each other, you can pretend that you don't know each other's name, implying that they are in an unequal position and you have a superior position. This is a practical psychological skill. For people who are bored or deliberately despise alienation, ask "Oh, I forgot, what's your name? This kind of question will certainly give the other party a considerable blow, because it means that your existence is of no help to me, so I didn't remember your name at all. As soon as this unfriendly question comes out, the other party will seem a little uncomfortable. They will think that the person who said this is impolite or arrogant.

Everyone doesn't like being seen through.

Everyone doesn't like being seen through. If you say "you will get angry", the other person is usually embarrassed to get angry. In negotiation, if you put forward conditions that are unfavorable to the other party, the other party will strongly object and refuse the topic. Therefore, before talking about unfavorable topics, say something like "I know you will be angry". After being seen through by others, I will blurt out "I'm not like you!" Based on my defensive instinct and self-esteem. "That you haven't been caught, also not stingy. This way, even if the conversation is unpleasant, the other party is embarrassed to get angry easily. Based on human defense instinct, he will protect his self-esteem, but at the same time, he will bind himself and easily accept other people's negotiation conditions.

If the problem is unacceptable, we might as well put it off first.

When the other person is emotional, if the questions he raises cannot be solved concretely, they are often prone to deadlock, so this kind of problems should be avoided. If it is personal, we can say, "This matter is too complicated. Let's have a drink first." This shows that the other party will settle down for a while, which is better than endless quarrels between two people. In formal occasions, such as a topic causing a quarrel in a meeting, the meeting host should first admit the importance of this question, and then say "this question is too difficult to answer at once", thus pinning the other party down. Or "this question will be discussed another day", you will feel that it is better than being rejected, which can ease the excitement, restrain the emotion and stop pestering.

Make excuses for people who evade their responsibilities.

Making excuses for people who shirk their responsibilities will make them accept gifts. In fact, drunkards never ask for drinks on their own initiative. They just use words like "You are the only one, I will drink with you", or "I will accompany you to the end", or "I will lay down my life to accompany a gentleman" to achieve their goals. On the surface, it is neither positive nor simple. This seems to be the unique psychology of China people, that is, they will always find reasons to shirk their responsibilities when doing things. Even if he knows his responsibility, he will keep procrastinating. Make use of people's psychology, prepare an excuse for the other party first, and the other party will not refuse again. For example, when giving gifts and choosing gifts for people, you should first say, "You take care of our company too much. I don't know how to appreciate it. This is a little something from me. Please accept it. " Because of excuses, the other party has no sense of crime and will gladly accept the gift.

Divert attention by digressing.

In the face of sudden questions, you can't answer them at the moment, and trying to explain "related" questions by pulling irrelevant digressions will divert the attention of the other party. For example, if someone says, "You are from China, you should act according to the ideas of China people." You can accept this without a doubt. But when you think about it, the so-called "China people's ideas" are completely ambiguous. Because what I think of as "China people's thoughts" may be completely different from what the other party understands as "China people's thoughts". In this way, misunderstanding or prejudice will inevitably occur. So, to cause the other person's misjudgment, you can say it seriously instead of answering questions or asking questions directly? Quot Before entering this question ... ",it makes people feel that you will explain the relevant questions, but you will say something irrelevant. This kind of speech is the strategy that leads to the misjudgment of the other party.

If you are embarrassed to say it directly, you might as well talk to yourself face to face.

Because of saving face, people can't talk a lot in person, pretend to talk to themselves and express their thoughts, and they will shrink back when it is convenient. In the soliloquy, the parties didn't realize that they had exposed their inner feelings. Therefore, when speaking, consciously using this method can indirectly express what you are embarrassed to say directly. For example, you can say, "Can I say this now?" No, I can't do anything now. "How can I talk to him at once?" When the other person listens, he will feel dull and stop talking automatically.

Give the same thing another name according to the other person's interest.

The same thing, one kind of address is unacceptable to the other party, and another name may be acceptable to the other party. A store specializing in obese women's clothing in the United States sells clothes with the same design as the general design, but its business is booming and it is very popular with obese women. * * * The trick is to adopt a sales technique that doesn't hurt the self-esteem of obese women, that is, to change the size of clothes used in general clothing stores, and to change the names of small, medium, large and extra large to small, attractive women, unmarried girls and duchess respectively, which makes obese women feel much more comfortable and reduces their resistance. In addition, obese women are specially selected as shop assistants to reassure obese people. This tactic of changing the language slightly makes an unknown shop and a book famous in the society. Recently, American feminists demanded that "Ms" be used instead of "Miss", "Madam" and "Madam". The reason is that men, whether married or not, are always called "why women are different". Therefore, language cannot be ignored.

If you are going to make the other person lose his cool, you can deliberately attack his personality.

Generally speaking, critics should focus on the matter itself and blame the other person's personality. On the other hand, if you intentionally embarrass the other party, you can deliberately make personal attacks. According to the experimental results of "emotional disharmony" conducted by psychologists on couples, attacking each other's personality is the most likely to cause their anger, such as "homosexuality", "drunkard", "sadomasochism", "gambler", "liar", "Oedipus complex", "narcissism" and "idiot", which are commonly used offensive words. If you want to irritate the other person, choose a word that suits the other person and throw it away.

Criticism should be based on facts.

As the saying goes: Don't talk too much. The so-called "too unique" is too abstract and too absolute. There are degrees of abstraction, such as "you are really bad", which is obviously more abstract than "it is really bad that you don't keep an appointment". If you suddenly say "you are so bad", the other person must be confused and at a loss. The latter statement is not so abstract and relatively easy to be accepted by the other party. Therefore, when giving advice to others, you should be as specific as possible to make them easy to accept. The more abstract the words are, the easier it is to confuse the other party. He will keep thinking about the meaning of your words and even don't know how to answer them. On the other hand, if you deliberately make others angry, abstraction can easily work.

Comfort overexcited people in a pandering way.

When the other person is angry or sad, never touch the reason that makes him emotional, but fully accept his emotions and show sympathy. Listening to him will soon appease him. For example, in the face of young people who are outraged by the boss's groundless scolding, don't ask "what's the matter?" Have you tried to let your boss know the truth? Instead, you should say, "So, you're angry about it? You should strike the table and scold him, or simply ignore him and run out, or even resign immediately. This kind of boss is really hateful and incompetent. No wonder you are angry ... "Try to cater to each other's mood when you speak. Having said that, most people will think? Quot This is the right thing to do. After saying "so" loudly several times, the original passionate mood finally calmed down.

If you feel nervous in the conversation, you might as well say so.

Sometimes I feel nervous when I talk to people. Speaking out the nervousness truthfully can not only eliminate it quickly, but also shorten the distance between the two sides and gain the recognition of others. When Betka, the record holder of American insurance industry, began to solicit insurance business, he had an unspeakable fear when interviewing celebrities. On one occasion, he stepped into the office of an automobile giant, and suddenly he was too nervous to speak. The other party looked at him in surprise. Finally, he summoned up his courage and said, "It's an honor to have the opportunity to meet you today. But when I saw you ... you, I was ... too scared to speak. " After Betka managed to squeeze out these words, strangely, the fear suddenly disappeared without a trace and the words became fluent. According to this experience, Betka noticed? Quot when you are timid, you should be brave enough to admit the facts. "

Distinguish between jokes and boredom.

Usually, the conversation between friends is not restrained, even if it is mixed with some irony or a little ridicule, the other party will be indifferent. Of course, it is another matter to take this opportunity to attract attention or show off. However, no matter what the intention is, it is very necessary to moderate this behavior, especially in the workplace. Because they have a strong sense of self in the workplace, they will inevitably become interested in each other. "Even if it's just unintentional sarcasm, it can sometimes cause unpleasant feelings. Therefore, as an employee of a company, in the application of interpersonal relationship, we should at least know how to speak appropriately and avoid saying disgusting and inappropriate words as much as possible. If he deliberately creates humor just to create a happy and lively atmosphere, it will be self-defeating, irritating and not worth the candle. A man with a heart once defined "humor" like this: "Humor is to face the boredom of life. It will make people feel funny and will not be angry and annoying. However, humor does not treat boring things as boring or boring. Humor is the spirit of humor, that is, you don't jump out to criticize, and sometimes you even treat life with a different attitude, even if it is boring and ridiculous, you can treat it frankly and generously. "As for black humor, it is very different from humor. It often causes negative emotional reactions such as hatred, disgust and anger, and often gives people a sense of hostility. If you still enjoy this bad consequence, you are likely to fall into an unpopular and even incomprehensible end. In fact, people who take pleasure in mocking others will be ridiculed themselves.

White lies can improve the interest of conversation.

Do you know how to lie to get more love? Lying is not good, but white lies are understandable. If you go to a restaurant with your boyfriend and drink a glass of wine, your face will turn red. At this time, you said to him, "Do you know? This is the first time in my life to drink ... "This is a very weighty sentence. Although you lied, your boyfriend didn't know that he would love you more because of this sentence, because this sentence invisibly expressed your love and trust for him. Even if it is a lie, you must be sincere and considerate of the other party, and the other party will never blame you. Therefore, you must learn this effective method of lying, so that you can use it flexibly in conversation and make yourself charming. In principle, lying should stand in the position of caring for each other. At the very least, you can't hurt each other if you say it. Therefore, if you tell a lie that you can't even accept, or make the other person feel disgusted, it loses the meaning of lying. In addition, there is a pleasant lie that can be applied at any time in daily life, that is, pretending not to know what you know. On the contrary, it is very dangerous for some people to pretend to be experts on things they don't understand in order to be competitive. Especially the inside story of the company, or the gossip of colleagues, it is better to say less. People who often criticize others or gossip about others are often daunting. In short, lying depends on the situation. If you speak properly, you will become a person full of charm and sense of humor.

Relax in self-mockery.

You may have seen the story of men and women being at a loss when they first met in movies or in daily life. Blind date, both sides are silent. Finally, one party was about to speak, and the other just wanted to say something, so he opened his mouth at the same time and closed his mouth awkwardly at the same time. After a while, the same thing happened again However, this is someone else's business, but if it really happens to you, you can imagine the panic-stricken embarrassment. On such a blind date occasion, a man and a woman with a sense of humor said to the woman, "We really have a tacit understanding!" " A word made the woman laugh, even her parents couldn't help laughing, and the atmosphere was relaxed and harmonious. Stage fright is inevitable when you meet someone for the first time. If you worry about your disorder, it will only increase your tension. In order not to make yourself fall into failure, you should be detached and laugh at yourself objectively! When you laugh at yourself and say to others, "My hands are shaking like alcoholism when I have stage fright." After that, your hands may not shake. Because, the tension has eased with your self-mockery.

Be good at adjusting one's psychology.

When talking to someone, doodling with a pen will have an impact on the psychology of yourself and the other person. For yourself, through the unconscious movements of your hands, you can ease the tense air and stabilize your position. In real life, we often meet some people who will reproduce unconscious actions when talking with strangers, such as repeatedly fiddling with things in their hands or shaking their legs nervously to relieve mental tension. These behaviors are the best examples of eliminating mental stress through body movements. Please note that doodling is different from taking notes. Writing down what the other party said is to acknowledge the superiority of the other party and control the atmosphere at the scene. On the other hand, graffiti has the effect of disturbing the mind. When we were talking, we doodled with pens, and the speaker could not help wondering if we were listening. Because of our casual attitude, the other party may think that we are probably great people, so they disdain his words; Or listen and sort it out in order to put forward rebuttal opinions; All kinds of doubts and suspicions are quietly rising in each other's hearts. This ambiguous graffiti attitude can sometimes even cover up the embarrassment that cannot be answered. You can retort, "I'm sorry! Just now, I heard the young lady talk about the important details of someone … "and took the opportunity to change the subject. Most of the anxiety when talking with people stems from inferiority complex. If you find your advantages before meeting others, then you can drive away the disadvantages! Another way is to get along with others and find out where you are better than Fang, so that anxiety can be eliminated unconsciously and you can face each other calmly. Just like at a banquet, a glass of wine makes your face red, so you know how much you can drink, and your confidence will burst out immediately. In this way, we not only rejected the "vicious circle of anxiety", but also stood on an equal footing with each other psychologically, even consciously superior!

Saint Zou Ji satirizes Wang Qi's advice, which tells a story: During the Warring States Period, there was a handsome man in Qi State, and his name was Zou Ji. One day, he was ready to go to court, put on his royal clothes, looked in the mirror and asked his wife, "Who is more handsome than that boy named Xu Gongzi?" The wife replied, "Of course it's you! Xu Can childe how to compete with you? " Zou Ji's answer to his wife is the same: "Of course it's you! Xu Can childe how to compete with you? " The next day, a guest came to visit. Zou Ji asked the guest the same question, and the guest answered it the same way. Another day passed, and that Xu Gongzi visited Zou's home. I looked at each other anxiously. It seems that it can't compare with Xu Gongzi anyway. That evening, Zou Ji, who was disappointed, lay in bed and calmly reflected on this matter. I thought it was obvious that I was not as beautiful as Xu Gongzi, but why did my wives and guests say that I was more beautiful than Xu Gongzi? Finally, he suddenly realized: "My wife said that I am better than Xu Hongmei, which is my hobby;" My concubine said that I was better at flattery than Hong-mei Xu, for fear that I would be unhappy. The guest said that I am more beautiful than Xu Gongzi because the guest wants something from me! " So there are many factors of flattery, because love will be biased; Because of fear, there will be regardless of the facts to please; Because you want other people's things, you will blow your own horn. Zou Ji's introspection experience can be said to be a summary of a certain aspect of human nature.

Be strict with yourself and lenient with others.

Being "strict" with yourself and "lenient" with others is the correct way to behave. People who are always self-righteous and always complaining are often very boring and boring. In fact, everyone inevitably has shortcomings or problems, perhaps because of imperfections? Quot man "instead of god. If we ask others to be perfect in everything, it is as absurd as asking ourselves to be absolutely perfect. Selfish people often give us some so-called "advice", such as "that's why you always make mistakes" and so on. They usually speak very flatly, and sometimes they pretend to "look at me". They always think that telling each other what they have noticed is "advice" to each other. Of course, some "suggestions" may be really well-intentioned, but this self-righteous idea may not bring positive influence to the other party. In addition, some good intentions can be misunderstood, and people who love to make suggestions have to pay attention to this possibility. In addition, I would like to remind you in particular that even well-meaning suggestions must take into account the other party's position or face, otherwise it is very likely to have the opposite effect. At the same time, never mention the other person's lack of personality, especially when the other person makes great efforts to heal these pains. If someone touches it, it will often make it feel more painful, thus causing considerable hostility. The original well-meaning advice blurted out without thinking, and repeatedly reminded the other party in front of a third party, first of all, will make him deeply disagree psychologically, thinking that you put him in such an embarrassing position, no matter what your original intention is, it will be misinterpreted by the other party. Even if two people get along alone and talk too bluntly about other people's shortcomings, the other party will feel that "this person has a great appearance!" "This misunderstanding will make people feel disgusted and even alienate you from now on.

"Catchwords" is a disguised language barrier.

Many people have catchphrases, such as "Ya Ting" and "Shit", which are very ugly. However, in life, some people don't pay attention to them, such as "Let's do it again …", "So …" and "So …", which often disrupt the rhythm of conversation. However, because the speaker is used to this mantra, he won't feel deeply. However, listeners are often impatient with this inevitable mantra, which cannot be ignored. It is important to have a rhythm when you speak, but if you add a mantra to your speech, the rhythm of your speech will collapse and appear chaotic, or you will not pay attention to what you say because you are tired of this mantra. In the end, you will only hear a series of mantra! Why is this happening? The formation of the mantra is often due to the speaker's lack of systematic preparation for what he wants to say in advance. So before thinking about the next sentence, he should use one sentence to maintain the state of continuing to speak, so as not to interrupt the topic. Therefore, it is not impossible to get rid of the mantra, but you must have considerable determination and perseverance. So, how should it be improved? Before you speak, you should at least clear up your thoughts and determine the details of your speech before you begin to speak. This kind of training can be done repeatedly.

Try to expand the scope of the topic.

Design guides the other party to expand the scope of the topic, only listen to passivity, only talk too arbitrarily, and question and answer is dialogue. The basic condition of conversation is that there must be two or more people. In a conversation, if one party always asks questions and the other party always answers, it is not a conversation. In conversation, you should put forward your own ideas and opinions, and then the two sides continue to discuss-just like catching and throwing balls at each other-which is the type of conversation. So when talking, the content of the topic will become richer and richer, and the direction of the topic will change at any time according to the interest. Sometimes, you often talk about unexpected things, which makes you think this conversation is very interesting. Even when many people chat together, they will come to a conclusion about something.