The facial features of the 2009 Spring Festival Gala

Ma Dong: Dear audience friends across the country, I and my facial features are here for you

Qi: Happy New Year!

Eyes: I am Ma Dong’s eyes and I wish everyone a happy smile!

Ma Dong: Hey, my eyes are so festive!

Ears: I am Ma Dong’s ears. I wish you good listening in all directions!

Ma Dong: Blessed are those with big ears!

Mouth: I am Ma Dong’s mouth, and I wish everyone a happy smile!

Ma Dong: My mouth can speak.

Nose: I am Ma Dong’s Nose and I wish everyone a Happy Chinese Year! (English: Happy Chinese New Year!)

Ma Dong: Hey, why do you have a foreign nose in my generation?

Nose: Foreign noses are big, you can breathe easily!

Eyes, ears, mouth: (laughing) Yes, you can breathe happily!

Ma Dong: Why am I so happy? I’m in trouble!

Eyes, nose, mouth, ears: What’s wrong?

Ma Dong: I was caught driving drunk last night and the police caught me and my driver’s license was taken away. What should I do?

Eye: I didn’t see it!

Ears: This has nothing to do with me!

Ma Dong: Stop! what? It's the same old habit again, no one can escape, one by one. Come on, who says it first? you? you! Eyes, you see best and you say it first.

Eyes (staring at ears): What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving!

Eyes (still staring at ears): Hey, are you driving drunk?

Ma Dong: I said, can you look at me and say okay?

Eye: I’m not looking at you!

Ma Dong: Is this looking at me? I am here.

Eyes (turning to nose): Oh, you are here, hello, hello

Ma Dong: Hey, what are my eyes?

Eyes (Turns to the audience): You don’t know, there is something wrong with Ma Dong’s eyes.

Ma Dong: What’s wrong with my eyes?

Eyes: Cross-eyed

Ma Dong: I’m cross-eyed?

Eye: Not always slanted.

Ma Dong: When will it become slanted?

Eye: When he saw the woman, he squinted.

Ma Dong: Even if I squint, you could still see the police yesterday!

Eyes: This is a male policeman, hey, I closed my eyes, hehe...

Ma Dong: Hey, he is hiding now

Nose: shirk

Ma Dong: What did you say?

Nose: This is simply shirk!

Ma Dong: Listen, listen, ah, people’s attitude, as a foreign nose, has come all the way to our faces. What kind of spirit is this? What kind of spirit is this? This is... the spirit of staring at the nose and face

Nose: Hi...

Ma Dong: Nose, tell me

Nose: What did I say?

Ma Dong: Drunk driving

Nose: Did you drink and drive?

Ma Dong: You were there!

Nose: Oh, this is an internal disease of the Chinese people. Otherwise, I won’t participate.

Ma Dong: Hey, he won’t participate now?

Nose: Everyone knows that there is something wrong with Ma Dong’s nose.

Ma Dong: What is wrong with my nose?

Nose: no holes

Ma Dong: Show me how long I am, I have eyes!

Nose: It’s no use having eyes. I kept sneezing that day, Qiu! I don’t know anything.

Ma Dong: Hey, he’s hiding too, it doesn’t matter, I’m asking this, my ears!

Ears (said to mouth): Yesterday’s Yanghe Daqu was pretty good!

Mouth: Looking for you

Ma Dong: You, I will follow you...

Ears: These are not Ma Dong’s ears

< p>Ma Dong, Er Er: There is something wrong!

Ma Dong: I know you said this, so you have to say it too

Ear: What did you say?

Ma Dong: I’ll let you talk!

Ears: Say something louder?

Ma Dong: I’ll let you talk!

Ear: Oh, why can’t you open your mouth without making any sound?

Ma Dong: Am I opening my mouth?

Ear (speak to mouth): Say What?

Ma Dong: Whose wallet?

Ears: Mine!

Ma Dong: Hey, can you hear this?

Ear: Not this... what did you say?

Ma Dong: Here we go again. You, don’t pretend not to hear.

Ear: Are you going to court tomorrow? What are you doing during the Chinese New Year?

Ma Dong: You did it on purpose

Ear: Do you want a divorce? Why?

Ma Dong: Don’t you understand the word “intention”?

Ear: The third party is Feng Gong? You said how much Feng Gong hates you

Ma Dong: I don’t believe you can’t hear clearly!

Ear: Are you going to marry Dong Qing after Liwan?

Ma Dong: You are just pretending!

Ear: Zhu Jun still wants to die?

Ma Dong: Who is following whom?

Ear: You can’t marry Xu Jinglei!

Ma Dong: Why is it so chaotic!

Ear: Oh, my father-in-law is Bi Fujian!

Ma Dong: You go!

Ma Dong: Zuizui, you can’t run away either! Tell me

Zui: Isn’t it about drunk driving?

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: There’s no need to talk about this anymore

Ma Dong: Huh?

Mouth: Besides, everyone knows that Ma Dong has something wrong with his mouth

Ma Dong: Wait a minute, I admit that the three of them said there is something wrong with me, let me ask around What are you doing? There's nothing wrong with my mouth.

Mouth: Yes, there must be nothing wrong with your mouth when you speak

Ma Dong: Right?

Zui: But as soon as you finish drinking

Ma Dong: What’s wrong?

Mouth: @#￥￥￥%&*&

Ma Dong: What am I?

Mouth: #￥……##￥%……#

Ma Dong: What did he say

Ears: He said you couldn’t speak clearly

p>

Ma Dong: Why did you hear this?

Ma Dong (talking to the mouth): You, straighten your tongue, what happened last night, please tell me

Mouth: #&……￥……#&…………#@￥@! ￥@%@#%#%......%%! #&**~! @￥#

Ma Dong: Am I like this? If my tongue behaves like this, I won’t drink. The police will take me away.

Look at you four, you all want to hide when things happen? How can we get this book back, with your attitude...

Eye: Hey, head

Ma Dong: Eh?

Eyes: Your attitude is wrong

Ma Dong: What’s wrong with my attitude?

Eye: You have to tell the police carefully

Ma Dong: Well, what should I say?

Eyes: Uncle Police

Ma Dong: Call me uncle?

Eye: Drunk driving is our fault

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: But the responsibility is yours

Ma Dong: Hey, how come the responsibility belongs to the police?

Eye: We have a dedicated bus line on the road

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: There is a dedicated bus line for the Olympics

Ma Dong: Yes

Eye: Why not set up a dedicated hotline for drunks?

Ma Dong: Set up a special hotline for drunk driving?

Eye: It is easier for you to manage

Ma Dong: How to manage this

Eye: When you see a car driving by, hurry up and step forward (Salute) Hello, drink, don’t panic, please go, the drunk hotline!

Ma Dong: Why not just drink and drive?

Eye: Oh no, it will cause a new traffic jam

Ma Dong: What should we do?

Eye: divided into odd and even numbers

Ma Dong: This is also divided into odd and even numbers

Eyes: 1, 3, 5, drink for free, 2, 4, 6 Those who drink beer can go

Ma Dong: Hey - those who drink can only go on Sundays

Eye: That’s right. If that doesn’t work, can we still group up?

< p>Ma Dong: Can we still group them?

Eye: Those who drink Erguotou will leave on Tuesday, and those who drink Wuliangye will leave on Friday

Ma Dong: Hey, those who drink Jinliufu can only Walking on Saturday

Eyes (patting Ma Dong on the shoulder): How clearly differentiated

Ma Dong (hand shaking away the eyes): What a mess

Nose: Okay

Ma Dong: What an idea!

Nose (walks to Ma Dong): Don’t listen to him!

Ma Dong: Can’t listen to him

Nose: You have to say this when you see the police

Ma Dong: What should I say?

Nose: Police uncle

Ma Dong: Police uncle... why do you call me uncle?

Nose: I was born in a foreign country, my nephew

p>

Ma Dong: Yes, nephew, the nephew must be called uncle

Nose: The drunk driving matter is indeed our responsibility

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: But the police follow the law

Ma Dong: Law

Nose: This law is called law in English

Ma Dong: law?

Nose: Of course, how to catch more or less depends on your skills

Ma Dong: You used to be a fisherman in Canada

Nose: I’m talking about the law

Ma Dong: The law?

Nose: The law is based on evidence

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: Evidence is based on logic

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: Logic makes sense

Ma Dong: Yes

Nose: The truth can be explained clearly

Ma Dong: Yes...ah, ah, no, no, no, no.

Nose: Ah, the truth must be explained clearly

Ma Dong: Hey, this is correct

Nose: How do you explain that truth in English?

Ma Dong: Ah, that’s right... Hey, I really don’t know how to explain it

Nose: Look, look, I don’t even know how to reason——

Ma Dong: Ah!

Nose: Then how can you explain it clearly? !

Ma Dong: Hey, I let this big nose get in for me

Ears: head head

Ma Dong: Huh?

Ear: Don’t listen to him

Ma Dong: Don’t listen to him

Ear: Does the police say this is useful?

Ma Dong: It’s useless!

Ear: You should emphasize our national conditions in China!

Ma Dong: Then how should I emphasize it?

Ears: You

What do you mean?

Ma Dong: Ah!

Ear: Let’s talk about that——Police Chief

Ma Dong: Police Chief...what’s wrong with you?

Ear: I must be different

p>

Ma Dong: Ah, what did you say?

Ear: I said so!

Ma Dong: Ah!

Ear: Listen to me, police, please don’t be angry

Ma Dong: Sing!

Ear: Drunk driving has nothing to do with me. Our boss is here for a treat and asked me to come with him

Red drops, yellow drops, beer drops, foreign drops, and two boxes of Daqu< /p>

Ma Dong: The wine is here!

Ears: No matter how far or near, we are all guests, I cannot be polite

Ma Dong: Yes!

Ear: Since we are sitting together——

Ma Dong: How is it?

Ear: Drink it all——

Ma Dong: Drink it!

Ear: Police, I tell you——

Ma Dong: Yeah!

Ear: I have no problem drinking. I am not lucky enough to meet you today. Police, let me tell you——

Ma Dong: Huh?

Ear: Anyone who has a dream is great——

Ma Dong: Oops!

Ear: I dare to fly a plane after drinking——

Ma Dong: Okay, okay, go, go, fly over there! So irritating!

Zui: I have to say a few words

Ma Dong: You have to say it

Zui: With the attitude of the three of them, you need your driver’s license Won’t come back

Ma Dong: I won’t come back at all

Ziu: You have to tell the police so

Ma Dong: What should I say?

Zui: Mr. Policeman,

Ma Dong: Mr. Police——

Ziu: What about my question——

Ma Dong : Are you being honest? ! Comrade! Comrade!

Mouth: The police...the police are the same...comrades! Drunk driving is definitely our fault

Ma Dong: Good attitude

Zui: But drinking and driving are two problems

Ma Dong : Two questions

Zui: Stop talking about drunken issues

Ma Dong: Isn’t this... eh?

Zui: Tell me again why I want to drive

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Why should I drive?

Ma Dong: Huh?

Zui: Because I want to go home

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why do I need to drive home?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because my family lives far away

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why does my family live far away?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Why did you buy a house in a suburb?

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why did you buy a house in a suburb?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because the house prices in the city are too expensive

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why are the house prices too expensive?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because of the US loan crisis

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Why is there a loan crisis?

Ma Dong: Why?

Zui: Because of his financial decline

Ma Dong: Yes

Zui: Because of his financial decline...

Ma Dong: You Wait a moment, wait a moment, where do you want me to go? What are you talking about? Just tell me about drunk driving!

Mouth: #@! #%%*&&*+——@%#￥￥@! #￥%! %￥......

Ma Dong: Oh, okay, okay, okay, did you see it? Push and hide! Let me tell you what the current environment is like? Accountability, if something goes wrong, someone has to take responsibility! You say, who is responsible?

All in unison (except Ma Dong): Head!

Ma Dong: Ah, yes, I am responsible for the leadership, and the four of you have to figure out who has the main responsibility!

Ears, eyes, nose: mouth!

Zui: Huh? Why should I bear the main responsibility?

Eyes: Drink, drink, if you don’t drink that wine, what could happen to us?

Ears: I blame you

!

Zui: Still blame me?

Ears: Yeah!

Zui: If it weren’t for your soft ears, would I have been able to drink the last cup of white wine?

Ear: This is...drinking. When the police asked you to blow, why did you use so much force?

Nose: Ah, yes!

Mouth: If you didn’t have such a foreign nose to breathe so much nonsense, what would I be blowing out?

Eyes: Yeah!

Nose: If you had seen that policeman earlier, wouldn’t I have gone around it?

Eyes: If the police officer who was talking nonsense wasn’t a woman, I wouldn’t have done anything like this!

#@%￥%@! @#￥%#￥##￥%@#￥! #&*&￥%……

Ma Dong: Stop arguing! What are you doing? Let everyone see it. Is it cool? You push me and I push you, just like this? Can it be pushed cleanly?

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: No!

Ma Dong: Can the problem be completely solved?

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: No!

Ma Dong: At the critical moment, you have to rely on me!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: Huh?

Ma Dong: Let me tell you that no one of us has to go to the traffic team tomorrow!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: What’s wrong?

Ma Dong: I gave the police my driver’s license.

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: Ah!

Ma Dong: It belongs to Bai Yansong!

Ears, eyes, nose, mouth: all recommended!