Funny copywriting for Moments

Funny copywriting for Moments (selected 34 sentences) 1. I was getting married, but I hadn’t bought any furniture yet. My mother secretly told me: I can’t buy a 1.8-meter bed, I have to buy a 1.5-meter bed. From now on, In case of a quarrel, the bed is too big for everyone to sleep on, and a smaller bed will be easier to coax. I just want to say, Mom, you are too naive. Do you think I can sleep in the bed after a quarrel? 2. I would like to advise all men: in the future, whether your wife or girlfriend wants to buy a bag, don’t object, because objecting is useless. It would be more generous to just buy it. But be sure to choose a color you like, because there is a high possibility that you will carry it on the street in the future. 3. Every time after taking an exam, there are these kinds of people. "I didn't review at all", 80 points; "I just started reviewing yesterday", 82 points; "The questions are really difficult to solve", 85 points; "I almost didn't finish it", 90 points; "I almost finished the last one" ", 95 points; the person beside him who said nothing and laughed, 98 points; "It's stable this time", 59 points! 4. In class, the teacher said: "The boy wearing glasses in the last row, please get up and answer the question." Under the gaze of the teacher, the student silently took off his glasses and sat still. The teacher and classmates were stunned, and under everyone's gaze, his top student at the same table silently put on his glasses and slowly stood up. 5.A: Did your wife make a big fuss last night? B: Yes, she is angry at the dog. A: Poor dog! I thought I heard your wife even threatening to take away the key to the door! 6. It’s not scary that she turns the page faster than she can turn the book. What’s scary is that she still turns the page over and over. 7. I once again seriously warned my mother that we young people are only in vain. Please do not lie about my age to relatives and friends. 8. Now when I get anxious, I want to buy something, and I spend money when I buy something. After spending money, I soon run out of money, and when I don’t have money, I start to get anxious. 9. Qingming Festival, it is not easy for students these days to have a holiday. Even taking a holiday has to take the credit of their ancestors. 10. I always take the bus home after get off work. One day I am anxious to get home so I take a taxi. After getting on the bus, the driver asked enthusiastically, "Would you like to listen to some music?" "Listen!" Then the driver sang to me all the way. 11. Why do I feel sleepy when I read a book? Because books are where dreams begin. 12. Mom: "The big chimney in this factory is really annoying. It emits black smoke all day long and makes me choke." Xiaohong: "It doesn't matter, I'll get you daddy's smoking cessation candy." 13. Everyone Behind every successful man, there is a woman who is full and has nothing to do. 14. "Senior, can you help me figure out how to do this question?" "Senior, do you have a boyfriend?" "Yes." "Senior, I can't do this question either." 15. Mosquitoes You have hands and feet, why don't you find a job and live locally. 16. If there is an afterlife, I will be a quilt, either lying on the bed or basking in the sun. 17. I fed love to the dog last night, and found the dog dead the next morning. 18. One day, Xiaoqiang, who was in elementary school, took the hundred-dollar bill given by his mother to school to pay for his books, but the school did not accept them that day. When I passed the grocery store when I got home, Xiaoqiang spent 5 yuan. When I got home, my mother asked: "Have you paid?" Xiaoqiang: "I didn't take it today. I'll give it back to you." My mother asked angrily: "Why is it only 95?" Xiaoqiang pursed his lips and said, "I lost 5 yuan on the way back. 19. Ever since I met your sister, I have decided against you as a brother. 20. Just when I was woken up, I heard a man in the community shouting: Beat to death, beat to death, fight to death, fight to the death. It's time for something big to happen! Look what's going on. I quickly got up and ran to the window. I saw a man directing his wife to reverse the car! 21. In the TV series I directed, the most you can do is Live two episodes. 22. Question: Why must summer vacation be longer than winter vacation? Answer: Because of thermal expansion and contraction. 23. The new generation of lawn environmental protection slogan: "If you step on my head today, I will grow on your grave tomorrow!" " 24. The teacher confiscated my game console and when I returned it to me at the end of the semester, I found that all the games were cleared. 25. If sleeping is to recharge the human body, then I would like to say that I have never been full. 26. My girlfriend asked me : I fell into trouble with your mother, should you post it on Weibo or WeChat Moments first? 27. After working hard for three years, I thought my mother would be furious, but I didn’t expect her to be angry. He scolded me and comforted me: "Son, you don't have everything. At least you still have the face to come back. " 28. Although I am often beaten by my wife, God knows that my wife is not an unreasonable person. Before every beating, she will ask for my consent. If I say no, she will beat me until I agree. 29. Faster than a lover Festival, it is best to have a typhoon, level 12, which will blow away a pair.

30. My wife’s education methods are very strict, which makes me very angry. My son plays with paper and pulls out the papers one by one. If I had known that she would let me fold them back one by one, I would not let my son play. . 31. Every time someone asks me for directions, I point blindly. The first reason is because I don’t know the way at all, and the second reason is to teach the world a lesson: Don’t just trust good-looking people. 32. If poverty limits our imagination, why can I still come up with so many ways to save money? 33. Every morning my bed drags me hard and won't let me go. It's so annoying. No, I have to find a way to cure it. 34. To the girl I have had a crush on for a long time: No matter how the firecrackers go off on New Year’s Eve night, I still don’t think about you as much as I do. The girl slapped me in the face with a big ear, "Do you think this one makes any sound?"