Interesting sentences for friends.

1, Penguin asked her husband: It's a holiday, let's go out for a trip. Husband said: why spend that money … buy a travel magazine to go home and see … what beautiful scenery is not tiring and economical … Penguins are silent. When they come home from work at night, penguins sit on the sofa and watch TV. Her husband asked, daughter-in-law, is the meal ready? Penguin said: "I bought the menu of eight major cuisines, and I can eat whatever I want. It's economical!" "

2. My son just went to kindergarten ... One day when he came back from school, his face was scratched and his wife was distressed. Going to school at noon, his wife took her son. When he saw Xiong Haizi, his wife came over angrily ... took out a nail clipper from her pocket and cut the nails for that Xiong Haizi ~

When I was a child, my mother would make me a cup of coffee whenever I was sick. She said softly, "Foreigners drink this." When I was a child, I was always afraid of the taste of coffee, which was sour, sweet and bitter. Now you can't find the brand you drank as a child in Milo, Shangdao and Starbucks. I only vaguely remember that it has a very foreign name: Banlangen. It's winter now, so keep warm.

The two-and-a-half-year-old baby is very good. He always brings water to his father from time to time with a toy cup. Every time his father looks at his mother proudly and drinks it all at once! Mother watched and remained silent. One day, my mother suddenly asked my father, "Have you thought about it?" "Thought about what?" "The only place in the whole house where he can get water is the toilet ..."

5, Tang Sanzang: "Bajie, you run two steps to show the teacher". Pig Bajie: "Master, why do you suddenly want to see your apprentice run away?" Tang Sanzang: "Oh, what a shame! As a teacher, I grew up in a temple. I have never eaten pork or seen a pig run. "

6. A car crowded 14 people. A passenger: this is overload, so you have to deduct points! The driver sneered: Deduct points, you need a driver's license! Another passenger: Dare to drive without a driver's license? Driver: Wine makes people brave. After drinking a catty of wine, you are not afraid of anything! Another passenger: Why don't you get a driver's license? Driver: I am highly nearsighted. How to take the exam? A passenger shouted: Stop the car! I want to go down! Driver: What did you stop for? The brakes are broken! Grab the handrail quickly, it's going down a big slope.

7. The landlord's home is in the countryside. Every time I bring my girlfriend home, she sees my house and says that we are not suitable for various reasons. Today, my dad knew that I was bringing my new girlfriend home again, so he bought a bucket of red paint. On the way from the village head to my home, he drew a big character on the wall. So I got married, and then my friends in the village married their wives in this way. .

8. My mother told me, daughter, you can't be fat any more. You see, you are a gourd in underwear, but a pear without underwear. My dad said, nonsense, our daughter is also bumpy, obviously a lotus root, a section of fat.

9. Call my mother. She said she helped me get a piece of land. I suddenly froze, and an idea that had been brewing for a long time suddenly came out! I knew I was an invisible rich second generation, and my previous poverty was honed by my family! I glanced at the Dow Jones index on TV, and those economic knowledge flashed through my mind, so I clearly knew the investment direction. I tried to suppress my inner excitement and asked in a calm and casual tone, "Oh? Which piece of land? " "SF Express"

10, my husband just got home and received a text message from his wife: a, washing clothes, b, cooking, c, mopping the floor. After reading it, my husband replied: I choose B! After a while, another message came: Dear, this is not a multiple-choice question, but a sorting question. ...

1 1. An electric welder opened an electric welding shop. The name of this shop is Han Wudi Welding. Everyone praised the store for its good name, and he was also very proud. On this day, he went to the candy store next door to show off, and the owner of the candy store took him to see his name: Emperor Taizong. The owner of the candy store pointed to the cake cutting shop not far away: Han Bingzu. Two people were silent together. At this moment, a dung cart passed in front of them. When they looked at the dung cart carefully, they wrote three big characters: the emperor who tackled dung.

12, once had a big fight with my husband. My husband came to coax me afterwards. No matter how uncomfortable I feel, I sit on the bed and ignore him. He suddenly came over, picked me up and put me at the end of the bed. He said, "People say that couples fight at the end of the bed. Let me see if it's true. "

13, I took a math test in my sophomore year, but I didn't understand those things after studying for half a year. I barely got 40 points in the first two papers, but I didn't understand the title of the third one. It didn't take long to finish copying the paper. I gritted my teeth and tore off the third paper, handed in the first two and left the examination room. When the results are announced, 60 points! It is estimated that the teacher didn't find the third paper and was afraid of taking the responsibility for losing it. This is how I live. ...

14, the centipede was bitten by a snake, and it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: Fortunately, I have many legs. The doctor comforted: "Brother, relax, you will be an earthworm in the future."

15. On the way to work, a person fell asleep in the carriage. Suddenly, his cell phone rang: "Report to your majesty, there is a unruly person who asks for an audience. Answer or cut ... "Suddenly, there was silence in the subway ...

16, the recent high temperature, the reporter interviewed the public. Ask a black man: "Can you tell me whether it is Wuhan fever or Africa fever?" A: "I emphasize again that I am not African. I got a tan in Wuhan!

1 7,5 deeply loved 1, but when it expressed its love, it was rejected by1. 5 Roar: Why is this? 1 Whispered: My mother said that your beer belly is definitely unhealthy.

18, a meaningful and touching sentence. When a girlfriend is upset because she is going to have a period, a man should hold her tightly and say, honey, I'm sorry, I'm really useless. Let you have a period.

19, broccoli meets cauliflower and sighs: my brother hasn't seen me for several years, and his hair is white. Cauliflower is serious: I'm worried about you. You wear a cuckold every day, and I am ashamed of you.

The girl took her boyfriend to see her grandmother. Grandma asked: What does a young man do? Boy: Grandma, I work in the IT department. Grandma said to herself after listening: there is such a unlucky industry, and it is better to be scolded than this.

2 1. A traffic policeman stopped Niuren. After the cow got off the bus, the traffic police: Comrade, you drink and drive. Cow sneers: Is beer also wine? Is that soy sauce oil? Calm down, calm down, share.

22. "Bi Marvin, these horses will satisfy you." "Where is the horse?" Wukong looked at the empty sea of clouds. "Isn't it?" "I only see a bunch of floating clouds!" "Yes, everything is a cloud."

23. Three mice tasted the wines of the United States, China and Japan respectively, and the mouse who drank the American wine fell down after three steps; The mouse who drank Japanese wine fell down after two steps; The mouse drinking China Erguotou had a kitchen knife in his hand and shouted, "TMD? What about the cat? "

24. My birthday is coming. My boyfriend accompanied me shopping that day. I said to my boyfriend, "My birthday is coming soon. What gift are you going to buy me? " My boyfriend thought about it, pointed to the front and said to me, "Did you see that newly completed building?" I said excitedly, "I saw it." My boyfriend smiled and said, "I want to buy you a dress with the same color as the mosaic tiles on the exterior wall."

25. One day, the school invited parents to visit the school. In the first class in the morning, the students say hello to the teacher and say, "Good morning, teacher." The teacher felt that the students should also say hello to the parents present, so he said, "What about the parents?" Before the students could react, the parents stood up together and said, "Good morning, teacher.

26. I watched a washing, cutting and blowing, which was awesome. Wearing big black sunglasses and long red hair, riding a moon motorcycle, shuttling through the streets at eight o'clock in the evening. It's faster, but it's a bit ugly to put on an ambulance.

27. "The mobile phone was stolen. I decisively sent a short message on my friend's mobile phone: Brother, I'm going back to my hometown for a few days, so I won't send you the 30 thousand yuan. I will put it in the mailbox of my new apartment, address: XX apartment, X box in X building. The mailbox key is attached to the bottom of the mailbox. Take it away and put it back. Then the person who stole the mobile phone was caught alive! "

28. At lunch, my wife suddenly kept coughing. I asked her what was wrong. My wife said, "Choke … Choke … Cough … Quick … Shoot me …" I quickly took out my 5-inch mobile phone and took a picture for her. "

29. A taxi driver pulled a foreign guest. The foreign guest wants to go to the airport, but he doesn't know Chinese. I talked with the driver for a long time, but I couldn't let the driver know where I was going. He had to open his arms and gesticulate like an airplane. The driver suddenly realized and said, "I see, I see." The driver lit a cigarette while walking and pulled the foreign guests to their destination. The foreign guests were blindsided when they got off the bus: Quanjude Roast Duck Restaurant.

30. The boss found me playing games at work. The boss said, "You turn this off for me", so I turned off the game. The boss said, "Delete this for me!" . I dare to move that shortcut to the recycle bin soon. The boss was furious when he saw it! You think I don't understand! ? This is called deletion, right? Empty the recycle bin! "

3 1, "One day Wukong asked the Tang Priest directly," Master, you always fire me. Why have you never thought of firing Bajie and Friar Sand? " In the face of Wukong's questioning, Tang Priest looked at his other two disciples and said softly, "Because being a teacher is a Buddhist." "What does this have to do with Buddhism?" "A Buddhist can't open a sand ring at will."

32. I called this morning. As soon as I got on the bus, the driver's master chatted with me excitedly. First, he said excitedly about Evergrande Guoan, and then he angrily commented on the bad job he pulled yesterday. I couldn't get a word in, so I kept answering. After five minutes, the master probably couldn't stand it. He turned to me and said, girl, I'm on the phone!

33. A handsome boy in the dormitory just learned to play the violin. It sounds like he scratched at the bottom of the pot with his nails ... One afternoon, he was playing the violin when the door was pushed open. His aunt who checked the safety and hygiene came in and said seriously, "Who is washing the pot?" I wonder if electric cookers are not allowed in the dormitory? ! "

34. "Why is it normal for friendship to turn into love, and it is strange for love to turn back into friendship?" "Well ... towels can be used as rags for a long time, but isn't it embarrassing to use rags as towels again?"

I watched a TV interview last night. Moderator: What do you think is indispensable in life? Male guest: My wife. Moderator: Oh? Why? Male guest: Because she has my salary card. ...

36. Walking in the square, I saw an old man throw his cigarette butt on the ground after smoking, and the cleaning staff ran over to prepare for a fine. I saw the uncle coming: "Why did the smoke fall?" Then, I picked up the cigarette butts and left. ...

37. My friend sent me a WeChat: "I'm tired. Let's contact less in the future. " Me: "Big Brother, I haven't talked to you for almost a year, have I?" The other party: "Well, I'm his wife, and I'll screen them one by one. You can wash yourself. "

38. When I was at school, I called my dad and asked him if he had paid his living expenses this month. My dad said, "Yes, 10,000!" Go to the ATM and check, hey, why is it only 500, so I called again and asked, "I'm busy, Hong Zhong."

39. The male orangutan accidentally stepped on the gibbon's stool. After a passing female orangutan carefully scrubbed it, they fell in love. Later, someone asked how they got together. The male orangutan said with emotion: It's all ape dung!

40. One day, my colleague asked me, "Do you know why I like drinking coffee?" I said, "I don't know." He said, "because I found that I can't do anything except coffee and instant noodles."