I want to find a student who dropped out of school, and finally I was admitted to the university through my own efforts, and later I became a secretary in Shanxi Province.

An Yongquan, a native of huozhou city, Shanxi Province, 1945, graduated from the Chinese Department of Shanxi Normal University. I worked as a journalist for ten years, then I gave up writing and went into politics. He has served as deputy secretary of the county party Committee, county magistrate, secretary of the county party Committee, deputy mayor and deputy Commissioner, and is currently the deputy secretary of Yuncheng Municipal Committee.

When I was free in the evening, I went to the liberal arts class of senior three in Kangjie Middle School. Students who are about to take the college entrance examination, or children who have suffered a lot, thought of it when they reviewed the college entrance examination twice thirty-eight years ago. For many years, I was ashamed to talk about these things and didn't have the heart to think about them. I can't believe it myself. Did those things really happen? Was I then who I am now? Just forget it． But for a few days, I was in a trance and absent-minded, and finally I couldn't help writing. If this article is not excellent and the psychology at that time is not perfect, but it is true, I will be happy to add some courage to some students. I am willing to dedicate my failed success to you. I hope you can repay me with your success in avoiding failure.

You have to go to college without high school. I never went to high school. I'm still deeply sorry about that. I graduated from Huoxian junior high school in 1960, and my academic performance belongs to the top five. That year, I failed the exam, but I was assigned. Naturally, I was assigned to a high school, but I knew I couldn't-my family was in a bad situation. At that time, my family lived in the county, with eight people and six brothers. My father is a salesman, and his salary is thirty-four yuan. My mother told me a long time ago, don't go to junior high school, or you can't even go to the primary school below. Just recognize the money. I'm always speechless. On the day I left school, I put my face on the plaque of Huoxian Middle School and burst into tears. In the future, I worked as a small trader, coolie, loader, and I did everything that made money, and I did everything that made a lot of money. Although it was easy to find a job at that time, the apprentices earned too little money and I was underage. Later, I finally found a fixed job, that is, pulling rickshaws, mainly delivering soy sauce and vinegar to four non-staple foods in the county from a non-staple food processing factory ten miles away from the city. When I was young, I pulled coal in Dagou Coal Mine and sold it on the street, earning about four yuan a day. That year, I was fifteen. At that time, the East Street in Huozhou was a long slope, paved with bricks and gravel, with potholes, and the fourth grocery store was on the top of the slope. When pulling the cart, I lowered my head, craned my neck, and bowed my waist almost to the ground; Holding the shaft tightly with both hands, I struggled forward, my eyes were often wet with sweat, and the road ahead was confused. At the steepest part, I almost doubt if I still have legs, otherwise how could I feel nothing? Whether it is cold or hot, rain or shine, I will show my ugliness once or twice every day on this long slope street. 196 1 year Dragon Boat Festival, I pulled extra 100 kg. At the steepest part of the East Street, the drawstring on the shoulder was broken because of excessive force, and the face hit the ground and a red flower opened. The out-of-control flatbed car skidded backwards, passed through the crowds and stalls on the roadside, and was blocked and turned over. Chela's soy sauce and vinegar flowed all over the street, and screams and scolding were mixed. When I finally figured out what happened, I was severely scolded by the injured pedestrian, punching and kicking. Facing the pitying eyes of the crowd, watching the blood on my hands brush my face, especially when I found several junior high school students in the crowd, my fragile self-esteem was finally torn to pieces and I lay on the ground crying! As the old saying goes, men don't cry lightly. Growing up, I was never a good person. But I finally understand that life doesn't believe in tears. I finally understand that I have to dry my tears to understand life. Poverty is really terrible and cruel. Because you are poor, you should bear the pain and humiliation. Because of poverty and the same arms and legs, people can go to high school, and you have to level the car every day. People can go to college in high school, and your youth can only be killed in this way. University, although I didn't know what it was like at that time, in my imagination, everything in the university was shining. People in universities are great and noble, and they have a bright future. When they come out, they can become professors, scientists, writers, generals and governors, not to mention feeding and warming the whole family. University, so I have been so obsessed and hungry since I was a child. Why can't I have it? What god, what immortal, what heavy earth, what bright sky. God, are your eyes long? Heaven has eyes. 196 1 autumn, I met Xie Junjie, a senior three student (now the chairman of Linfen Federation of Literary and Art Circles) when I was delivering coal to the bathhouse. During the chat, he said that there is a sentence in the college entrance examination enrollment brochure, and the enrollment targets are high school graduates and social youths with the same academic level. The latter category probably refers to people like you who didn't go to high school. You can take Chinese, politics, history, geography and Russian, but you can't take math or physics. Oh, my God, is it true? I asked. I'll ask you again at the Education Bureau. He said. On the third day, he gave me a copy of last year's enrollment brochure and told me the affirmative answer from the Education Bureau. But he also told me that the people in the Education Bureau said that there was no precedent for Huoxian not to take the senior high school entrance examination. I was so surprised that I secretly made up my mind that I could never live like this. I want to study for the university. What precedent is not a precedent, why can't I be a precedent? There is a glimmer of light in the dark sky. I kowtow to you, please sign me up. I quickly found all the liberal arts textbooks and piled them up into a hill. Open the small room where the groceries are stored at home and turn it into a study. I made a study plan and timetable. I get up at six in the morning and study at eight. Go to work after dinner, study at six o'clock in the afternoon and twelve o'clock in the evening. Doing nothing but pulling a cart, saying nothing, thinking nothing, is learning. Chew a book at a time, read a paragraph at a time, attack a topic at a time, and read a word at a time. The thunder can't move, and the military order is like a mountain. Three years of courses and two and a half years of study. But it wasn't long before I found myself too impulsive and didn't know how difficult it was. The hardest thing to learn is Russian. I haven't been exposed to any foreign languages before, so I opened the book and looked at it-alas, how can there be such strange words in the world? How can I know how to pronounce it? What do you mean? The more you look at it, the more worried and depressed you are. For several nights in a row, I was speechless at the gobbledygook Russian textbook, listening to the cock crow in the yard, watching the window getting brighter and brighter, helpless, and in a bad mood to the extreme, so I picked up a stick, knocked on the table, hit the wall, and Hu Kan scolded, scolded the Russians, and scolded the Minister of Education. Why do people in China learn foreign languages? People don't take Chinese in the Soviet college entrance examination. Why do they take Russian? Isn't this a long-term ambition that will destroy our prestige? Damn it!

But what is the use of this? The more you scold, the more desperate you become. Later, I had to go to Huozhong to find Mr. Zhang who taught me chemistry in junior high school and then Russian. Teacher Zhang sympathizes with me, but speaking a foreign language is not another course, so it is impossible to learn it at home. But he still promised to tutor me at his home after studying at night. However, after watching it several times, I feel bad. Teacher Zhang's family consists of four people. The house is very small. His mother is ill in bed, his wife goes to work and his children go to school. When he went to school for the third time, his wife looked very ugly. During my study, his wife quarreled with him, which embarrassed me. I don't remember how I got out of teacher Zhang's house, but I just don't think I can come again. Who wants teacher Zhang to catch up with me halfway to apologize, which makes me even more embarrassed? He also told me that it would be better to let my younger brother, who was in junior high school, tutor me both (at that time, junior high school in Huozhong also offered Russian classes), which was convenient to learn. According to the Russian test questions in the college entrance examination in previous years, the knowledge of Russian in junior high school should account for 60%. If you can get 40 points in the junior high school course, then you will do very well in the other four courses, so if you make up for the loss of Russian, you may have hope to achieve your goal. But it is very difficult to make full preparations, which is not normal. Dear teacher Zhang, I will always remember your kindness. At that time, only you treated me as a person and your student. From now on, I will take my brother as my Russian teacher. He is learning to sell now, and I am learning to buy now. Although his level is limited, his progress also restricts my progress, but it is much better than before. Every morning before I go out to pull a rickshaw, I will write five words on each arm. I read it while pulling a rickshaw, once in Russian and once in Russian-Chinese translation. Review it again the next morning, erase it when it is right, and write ten more words. Several times, I tried to hit the car into someone, and several times, the passing car almost hit me. These things are beyond my control. I have to move the Russian Mountain, not all of it, but one and a half of it. In the other four courses, I basically use the most traditional learning method in China-reciting texts, with the exception of geography, drawing as a supplement. Back, back, back, back, when studying at home, when pulling a cart, when walking at ordinary times, and when eating. Sometimes I concentrate on one lesson, and sometimes five courses cross my back. When no one is around, I recite loudly and someone whispers. If I can recite it, I will continue to recite it. If I can't, I will check the books I have with me. I will recite it ten times and eight times for new learners, and I will repeat what I have already recited. My back is confused, my back is agitated, my back seems to explode, and my mouth is almost speechless. At all times and in all countries, politics, history, arts and sciences, the content is much better, and the span is so big that a person's head is just like this. However, in a very limited time, so many things have to be filled, and one by one, one by one, one by one, clearly seen and memorized. It is hard to imagine that feeling without personal experience. Once you experience it, you will never forget it. Day after day, month after month, flowers bloom and fall, and the summer solstice is cold. The voice of endorsement summoned one sun after another for me and led me to one dream after another. 1summer of 963. Although I feel that my self-study time is still short, I have to study for another year according to the plan, and my study is not solid and organized. Obviously, there are many gaps. But I don't feel confused yet, but I have mastered a lot. In particular, I think we should experience the taste of the college entrance examination and feel the depth of the examination questions in various subjects. Of course, I think-maybe, maybe, maybe with luck, a miracle will happen. I was in big trouble when I signed up. That day, with the letter of introduction and enrollment brochure from the neighborhood Committee, I went to Huoxian Admissions Office with trepidation. I know that the freshmen of senior three in this county and the students of previous review classes are all enrolled by the school, but I am the only one in this situation, and I am always worried that it will not go well. After entering the door, the recruiter is playing poker. I respectfully called a teacher, handed the certificate of the neighborhood Committee to the person who looked like a leader, and said, I want to sign up. Who wants him to take a look, smile and throw it on the ground. He asked, young man, do you know that toads want to eat swan meat? I said, you said I was a toad, I admit it, but I'm not a toad. He asked again, what kind of toad are you? I said I was a good toad. Who thought he would get angry at once and ask me loudly, can a good toad eat swan meat? A toad is a toad! They went to play poker again. I stood and waited. I really don't know what to do. When they finished playing, I humbly said a few good words and nobody paid any attention to me. I couldn't help it, so I said, "Teacher, I kowtow to you. Please kindly help me sign up. Let me try ... after registering, having a physical examination and getting the admission ticket in Huoxian, I went to Linfen by train the day before the college entrance examination, because the examination room in Huoxian was located in Linfen No.1 Middle School at that time. It was my first time in Linfen, and I had no relatives or reasons. I asked around before I found the examination room. I dare not stay outside, for fear of oversleeping and missing the exam time, so I have to sleep on the playground of Linfen No.1 Middle School. After two days of exams, I was angry and sad. I haven't learned some questions, so I can only stare at the test paper; Some are not solid and seem to know, but they can't answer; Some questions are that time is not well mastered, and they could have been answered, but they were withdrawn before they were finished; Especially the psychological quality is not strong. Some questions were clearly remembered in the past, but they were not remembered in the examination room. The more I can't remember, the more anxious I am, the more I can't remember. Worst of all, when I was taking an examination of what I thought was my strongest language, I actually took the topic "When I sang the Internationale" as "When I sang the national anthem", and I lost all the words in forty-five minutes! As for the Russian I have worked so hard to learn, I can only get five points at most when I answer with others. Alas, the first college entrance examination ended like this. Although I initially regarded it as an experiment. But I still think of Ah Q, and I think of Toad. I finally stood on a new horizon, and my first failure made me a joke. The first college entrance examination triggered my thoughts on the college entrance examination. What is the college entrance examination? It seems to be a test of cultural knowledge through the answer sheet. In fact, the college entrance examination is a test of determination, your understanding of the college entrance examination, and whether you know that the college entrance examination is the first turning point in your life. If you can survive the purgatory of the college entrance examination, for most people, it will be considered as having the minimum conditions for moving towards the ideal. Test whether you are determined to be a useful person, the kind of person you admire, whether you are determined to repay those who care about you, whether you are determined to do something for our Chinese nation and even mankind, whether children from poor families are determined to change their destiny, and whether children from superior families are determined to open up a better life.

Determination is the mother of success. The college entrance examination is a test of perseverance, fighting spirit and self-confidence. Yes, this is a beautiful world, but there is no leisure, no romance, no singing. All I see are those cold formulas, words, test questions, and things that may be useless except exams. It fills you, depresses you, teases you and tortures you, and it's not a day, not a month, not a year or two. If you can not weaken your efforts for a moment, if you can keep eating, chewing and digesting the pain, you can feel that it is a kind of happiness, a kind of hardship and a kind of happiness. If you can face difficulties with confidence, success may not be difficult. Some people say that the college entrance examination is a replica of the imperial examination system, but in the past, only a few hundred juren were admitted to the imperial examination every year, and twenty or thirty Jinshi were admitted to the imperial examination, including one champion, one runner-up and one flower exploration. Now, although some people say that the college entrance examination is a wooden bridge, there are hundreds of thousands and millions of teams passing through this wooden bridge every year. College entrance examination is also a learning method. Although many basic methods have been summarized by predecessors, the principle of rationality cannot be fully applied to individuals. There are no two identical grains of sand in the world, and everyone should explore a method with personal characteristics. Since the college entrance examination is a battlefield, we should pay attention to the tactics on the battlefield. The right tactics can lead to death, and the right method can get twice the result with half the effort. College entrance examination is the comprehensive quality of testing ideals, testing will, testing value and testing people. College entrance examination, college entrance examination, you can curse it as cruel, terrible, heavy, unfair and full of drawbacks. But before a more perfect system takes its place, you still have to face the reality, overcome yourself, overcome your laziness, fragility, muddle along, overcome your dullness, rigidity and carelessness, and arm yourself and every cell for the purpose of defeating the college entrance examination, every minute. I made a new study plan for myself and adjusted the proportion of energy devoted to foreign languages and other courses. I only studied junior high school foreign languages, but gave up senior high school foreign languages, with the goal of getting 40 points. I spent 90% of my energy and time to make the average score of the other four subjects reach above 85 points, so as to make up for my weaknesses and make my strengths particularly strong. Aren't these thirty books? Isn't that more than two thousand questions? In order to deepen my memory, I should not only memorize them, but also basically write them down. In history class, we should abandon six books and take two manuscripts, one century after another, one dynasty after another, major events, important people and important times. Ancient Chinese should not use any punctuation marks. If you can't write it down, look it up. If you write it again, it will be easier to remember. In order to exercise my quick thinking and improvisation ability, I write the test questions of each course on a piece of paper and roll them into twists. The big problem is long twist and the small problem is short twist, which are placed in five small pots respectively. Set the alarm clock first, draw out five big questions and twenty small questions, and finish them in two hours. After completion, mark it against the textbook. In order to grasp the time of composition, I wrote 50 composition questions of various genres and categories, and took out one at any time to complete the exercise within 50 minutes. The examination questions of all subjects are repeated in this way. I think I've tried my best, tried my best to find a way, and I've been down-to-earth and step by step. I really dare not gamble my future. However, people still can't predict their own destiny. 1June, 964, the residents' group informed me to go to the countryside to go to Xizhang, which meant that I would lose my self-study conditions and make the college entrance examination a bubble. I had to change my plan, study for another year, take the college entrance examination next year, and take the lead for the second time. At this time, it is only 27 days away from the college entrance examination. I once again came to the county to enroll students, and I met that man last year. He said that the registration physical examination in the county has ended, and the area has only one day tomorrow. It's up to you. I have no choice. I hurried home to get the money, recited the book, changed my card, ran to the railway station, and wanted to take the 3: 30 bus to Linfen to register. When I went to the ticket booth, I saw a notice. The train stopped for two days because the Jiexiu-Lingshi section was washed away by the flood. I was also angered by fate. I still have two legs without a train, so the jar broke and fell. I walked south along the railway line for 150 miles, walked for 12 hours, and arrived in Linfen at five o'clock the next morning. After signing up for the medical examination, they ran back to Huoxian by Linfen Shun Railway. I went home and fell asleep. I slept all day. When I woke up, my legs were swollen like buckets, and my soles were like torn pieces of red cloth. I can't control anything, except that I dare not pull a cart, and I'm afraid I'll lose my job if I don't go to college. My study is going crazy. Except for the test questions and the answer sheets, there seems to be nothing, no ego, no world, no moon and no sun. Carry out the practice of "hanging beams on the head and cones passing through the strands". I don't know how Su Qin in the Warring States and Sun Jing in the Western Han Dynasty overcame fatigue in this way, but it is difficult for me to work. When I tied my hair tightly and hung it on the roof with a rope, I fell asleep again soon, and the slight pain could not overcome the coma-like fatigue. Taper thorn If it's light, it won't hurt without bleeding, which means it doesn't sting. It is effective if it is serious. I won't fall asleep for three or four hours, and I will study while covering the bleeding place. But after several stab wounds, the wound became infected and festered. I have an idea. I think of my mother. My mother is a great and strict person, belonging to the type of second grandma in the TV series "Da Zhai Men". I remember playing truant as a child. My father hung me from a tree and took a stick. Although the reprimand and action were loud, it didn't hurt when the stick fell on me, so I continued to play truant. The second time, my father hit me again. My mother watched and said nothing. She took out a pair of pliers and gave her leg a hard twist. She turned and left. I gave a cry. Although there was no blood on her leg, she never dared to play truant again. I love my mother most, and I am most afraid of my mother. My legs trembled at the sight of my mother holding pliers in her hand. I need my mother's pliers, so I will tell my mother this idea. My mother asked me, can't I take the exam? I said, I can't do it without taking the exam. Let me try that one more time. My mother nodded her head. That night, I dozed off again When I was suddenly awakened by the severe pain in my thigh, I saw my mother holding pliers in her hand, but her face was covered with tears. I couldn't sleep anymore ... For the next ten days, my mother watched me study. Although she never used the pliers in her hand again, I never slept again and kept studying until three o'clock in the morning every day. That period was the limit of my vitality. That was my mother's rebirth. The college entrance examination has finally arrived and the exam is finally over. I feel good about politics, history, arts and sciences, and I get bored at the thought of Russian. I spent several years in fear and trembling. Gradually, I heard that Huo's letter of admission for middle school students has come down, and only one of Huo's 37 students has been admitted to "Shanxi University", so I think this time is over. 1August 25th, 964, which is a day I will never forget. At noon, I was unloading the goods in the shop near my door when I saw the postman holding a letter and asking my name. Before that, I had never contacted the outside world through letters, and a sudden premonition made me fly over. After receiving the letter, my hand trembled for a long time but dared not open it. I don't have the courage to listen to fate. When I finally gritted my teeth, a college admission notice appeared in front of me: An Yongquan, you have been admitted to the Chinese Department of Shanxi Normal University, please report before September 10. Normal colleges are just like normal colleges. I'm so happy that I'm going crazy. I shouted in the street like Fan Jinzhong: I'm in! I was admitted! I finally stood on a new horizon. Although I don't know where I will go in the future.

Written on 200 1, 38 years after my college entrance examination.