10 hilarious jokes for high scores

1 One day, Chen Xiang, Wu Yi and Wu Junyu came to a deep mountain forest.

Suddenly, they met a devil. The devil said: "You will be unlucky if you meet me." , but I can give you a chance. As long as you find ten round fruits and eat them within one minute, I will send you back, otherwise, I will kill you

After a long time, the boss came back with ten apples, but when he ate the eighth one, the time was up, so the boss ascended to heaven.

Then Junyu, he was very smart and found the apples. Ten small strawberries came. When he ate the ninth one, he suddenly started laughing wildly. Then, when the time was up, he ascended to heaven. After reaching heaven,

Chen Xiang said: " You are stupid! You could have finished eating, so why are you laughing?

Junyu said: "Because, when I was eating the ninth one, I saw Wu Yi coming with ten watermelons!

2 One day, Xiao Ming saw a book in the bookstore and was going to buy it. He asked the boss how much the book cost, and the boss said: "10 yuan! Just as Xiao Ming was paying, the boss said strangely: "Don't turn to the last page, or you will regret it!" "Then he quickly pushed Xiao Ming out of the door and told him not to come again.

Just as Xiao Ming bought the book and walked out the door, suddenly, a gust of wind blew, and the book happened to be at the end. Xiao Ming picked up one page and looked at it. The last page of the book said: "Retail price is 9.5 yuan!" Xiao Ming then understood why the boss didn't let him open the last page.

3 cars. In the car, a man asked the person next to him: "Do I look like Wu Bai? ”

The man replied: “It’s just so-so, half of 500!” "

Everyone around them laughed!!!

4 A reporter went to interview a group of penguins. He asked the first one

said: "You What do you do every day?"

The first one answered: "Eat, sleep, and kiss."

Asked the second one the same question, and the second one answered the same answer,

He kept asking until the second to last one answered the same answer.

He asked the last one again: "What do you do every day."

The last one Just say: "Eat, sleep."

The reporter was puzzled and said: "Everyone else kisses, why don't you kiss?"

The last penguin said: 'I am kiss."

5 A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that his head teacher was already standing in front of him. The teacher's eyes were round and he was trembling with fear.

The teacher shouted: "How dare you smoke!" The student quickly threw the cigarette to the ground.

The teacher shouted again: "How dare you waste it!" After listening, the student hurriedly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher.

The teacher didn't answer and shouted: "How dare you bribe me!" The student hurriedly stuffed it into his pocket.

The teacher shouted even more angrily: "How dare you do it again?"

The student was at a loss and cried "Wow".

Alas! ...The poor child even wants to die...

6 A foreigner took a 50-yuan note and waved it in front of the conductor: Have you seen it? Have you seen it? ...

The ticket seller was stupid, so he simply took out a 100 ticket and showed it: Have you seen it?

Finally, I figured out that the person wanted to go to "Jianguo" Door!"

7. A priest was playing golf, and a nun was watching. The first shot missed, and the priest cursed: "TMD, missed!" He hit again, and the priest cursed again. : "TMD, you missed it again!" the nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest." As soon as she finished speaking, a thunderbolt struck the nun to death.

The priest was puzzled: Why was it me who cursed, and why did he kill the nun? At this time, God's voice came from the sky: "TMD, I missed the target too!"

8

A letter from Tang Monk to Wukong

Dear Wukong:

I have lived in Heaven for a long time. I wonder how you are doing in Huaguo Mountain? I write this letter very slowly because I know you can't read quickly. We have moved, but the address has not changed because we brought the house number with us when we moved.

It rained twice this week. The first time it rained for 3 days, and the second time it rained for 4 days. Yesterday we went to buy pizza, and the clerk asked: "Would you like to cut it into 8 slices or 12 slices?" Your diligent and thrifty wife said: "I'll cut it into 8 slices. I'm afraid I won't be able to finish it if I cut it into 12 slices." The pizza in that store is pretty good. One day our family will go to the restaurant across the street to eat steak together. And your Aunt Guanyin said that the coat you wanted me to send was overweight when mailed, so we cut off the buttons and put them in the pocket of the coat.

Your sister Chang'e gave birth this morning. Because I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet, so I don’t know if you want to be an aunt or an uncle. Nothing happens recently, I will write to you again.

9 Tang Monk and four others took a plane to travel. The plane crashed on the way, but there were only three parachutes.

So, Tang Seng said, everyone should answer the questions, and those who can’t answer will jump down.

Tang Monk: Wukong, how many suns are there in the sky?

Wukong: One.

Tang Seng: Okay, I’ll give you one.

Tang Monk: Sha Monk, how many moons are there in the sky?

Sha Seng: One.

Tang Seng: Okay, I’ll give you one too.

Bajie on the side was so happy for such a simple question.

Tang Monk: Bajie, how many stars are there in the sky?

． ． ． ．

Bajie jumped down.

Not long after, the four of them took a plane to travel again. It crashed again on the way and still only had three parachutes.

They continued to answer questions.

Tang Monk: Wukong, when was the People’s Republic of China established?

Wukong: 1949.

Tang Monk: OK. Give you a handful.

Tang Seng: Sha Seng, how many people died in the liberation war?

Sha Seng: 2.5 million people.

Tang Seng: Okay, I’ll give you one too.

Tang Monk: Bajie, what are the names of those 2.5 million people?

...... Bajie had no choice but to jump down again.

The third time, the four of them took a plane to travel again, and there was another accident on the way.

At this time, Bajie said: Master, you don’t need to ask, I will dance by myself.

Then he jumped.

Tang Monk put his hands together: Amitabha, there are four parachutes this time!!!

10

Have you ever seen someone chatting like this?

Male: Do you want to chat? Female: No

Male: Why Female: Busy

Male: What are you busy with? Female: Play

Male: What to play Female: Game

Male: What game Female: Fun

Male: What fun Female: Annoying

Male: If you are annoyed, just talk to me about girls : Get out

Male: The ground is not clean. Female: Fuck

Male: Give me my shoulders. Female: I am looking for death.

Male: "Death" is on page 961 of the dictionary. Female : faint

Male: I have anti-fainting medicine. Woman: I took it.

Male: I stopped fainting after taking the medicine. Woman: Big brother.

Male: Yes. You're a little sister. Female: Please

Male: You can do it. No need to take off your clothes. Female: I'm going crazy

Male: I'll hit 120. Female: You're a fairy

Male: Don’t be superstitious. Female: Can people still live?

Male: With me, your life will be more exciting. Female: 555

Male: Although Sanwu cigarettes are good, they are harmful to health.

Female: Go to hell

Male: I am in an Internet cafe, why not die?

Female: Please let me go

Male : Okay, tell me your phone number and I won’t tell you any more

Female: Why do you want the number?

Male: I’ll send you a text message instead

Female: Okay You kid should leave something behind after watching it for so long