Degang Guo's cross talk is suitable for middle school students.

You can perform some traditional ones, such as big bodyguards.

Listen online:

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Text:

Guo: I'm glad there are many people here.

Y: An old saying goes.

Guo: Today, the two of us will perform for you.

Y: right.

Guo: (referring to Yu Qian) is also a little brother.

Y: no, no. You haven't asked your age.

Guo: Did you rinse your mouth? How many big festivals do you have?

You can talk like a horse.

Guo: No, how old are you?

Y: Age.

Guo: Yes, how guilty are you?

Y: I want to judge.

Guo: At what age do you commit crimes? How old is the criminal age?

Y: I'm 37 years old

Guo: Little brother!

Y: How old are you?

Guo: I'm 32.

Y: pick up your mouth and say! I am old, and you are my brother.

Guo: No! I am older than you, and you are my brother.

Y: Everyone heard it. You are 32, I am 37, and my brother is your brother. Is this still wrong?

Guo: It doesn't count! Count if you don't believe me.

Y: how do you calculate this?

Guo: I am 32 and you are 37. 30,365,438+0,32, I have it; 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, this is you, my brother.

Y: Oh, according to you, you came first, and then your father?

Guo: (looking back at Yu Qian) bah!

Y: You said that the newborn baby is older than anyone else?

Guo: Look at this face. It looks like a steamed stuffed bun.

Y: Don't talk about my face yet.

Guo: Don't bully me! Fortunately, I have a good temper. If I want to satisfy our colleague's impatience, you can click it.

Y: Why are you so angry? What do you do?

Guo: Me? (drooping shoulders) I am a housewife and practice martial arts. (burying his face in joy) Where can you argue? I practice martial arts!

Y: Why are all martial arts practitioners giggling?

Guo: That's what our family does. My father practices martial arts. You know everything when you ask.

Y: What's your name?

Guo: Fly on the grass!

Your father was a snitch?

Guo: Your father hedgehog!

Yu? : No, how did you get this name?

Guo: He is good at flying! Just on the second floor, go up and do a somersault; From here to there, one leg will pass. Nothing can stop his door, nothing can stop his lock!

Y: Still a thief! All the locks are locked.

Guo: What is the thief doing? My job is to unlock the lock. In the bank safe, my dad took a celery and poked it open.

Y: Huo!

Guo: It's very tiring to get up every morning, which lasts for 30 minutes. I've been practicing for 30 years, you said!

Y: I can do it, too Is this called a broken leg? !

Guo: Tell me. Although my dad is so capable, my brother and I also want to learn martial arts, but my dad can't teach, so we have to send it outside.

Y: why is that?

Guo: My own children can't do it. Do you have the heart to get up with good legs every morning?

Y: There's nothing I can't stand. What can I stand here?

Guo: I can't say clearly! This is the same as your cross talk: for example, if I say cross talk, (drag Yu Qian) my son also wants to learn cross talk.

Y: over there!

Guo: My father finally found my old teacher after many twists and turns.

Y: quite respectful.

Guo: Xiakan, Xuanping Slope, northwest of Beijing, is a Taoist monk, Buddha. This place is called Hu Ling.

Oh, Hu Ling? I haven't heard of any martial artists there. I heard the old man say that they only sell zongzi.

Guo: I'll chop you to death with Jiangmi!

Y: You can't find anything else.

Guo: He looks down on people! Does Huling sell zongzi? What a nuisance!

Y: There are many zongzi sellers anyway.

Guo: Do you all live in the dormitory of Quyi Troupe?

Y: not really.

Guo: Still, wow! My teacher is a monk named Victoria's Secret! Live in seclusion there. That day, my father took my brother and me to visit his old man's house. He was stroking his leaves.

Y: Touch that iron leaf?

Guo: stroke the reed leaves.

Y: and sell zongzi!

Guo: What do you sell zongzi? What should I do if I get hurt in practice? Wrap it in a reed leaf.

Y: wrapped in reed leaves?

Guo: How do you know? Isn't it? My father told me the purpose of his coming, and he was very happy: "The second primary school! All right! It's nothing. Why don't you eat? Go out early and come back late. It's time to add water. It's time to keep the fire burning, you know.

Y: Why don't I sound like a martial arts practitioner?

Guo: My father said that you should cultivate more. The teacher said: to do this job, we must first make a life and death agreement.

Y: Oh, is this still a contract system?

Guo: We have to sign a contract! 10 studied with the teacher for 8 years, went out and got a car and killed it. Serve you right!

Y: Oh, it's not the teacher's responsibility?

Guo: It's nobody's business. The teacher said you were angry, but you died in the well, and you deserved it!

Y: the teacher doesn't care?

Guo: Be responsible for yourself!

Y: ouch!

Guo: My father was in tears, but for the sake of the future of his two children, he gritted his teeth and said, Teacher, please write!

Y: Is this really writing?

Guo: The teacher ordered: Shangxiangtang! There is a candlestick with incense burner wax brazing wax in front, and a portrait of our grandfather is hung behind it.

Y: Do you have a grandfather in your line of work?

Guo: That's right.

Y: who is it?

Guo: Qu Yuan!

Y: yes! Your work is reasonable. Without Qu Yuan, there would be no zongzi.

Guo: Look at this long face.

Y: don't look at me.

Guo: There are pens, ink, paper and inkstone in front. Tears came down as soon as the teacher started to write.

Y: why?

Guo: the pen does not fall, and the lives of two children are; As soon as the pen fell, the burden of a daughter fell on herself! What should I tell my parents if something happens? The atmosphere in the room was dignified, and no one spoke for more than 20 minutes. Finally, the teacher put down the pen and sighed: Stop writing.

Y: Oh, my heart has softened.

Guo: I can't read!

Y: nonsense! What can I write if I can't read?

Guo: My father was very moved.

Y: Still moved?

Guo: Learn from the teacher. The teacher is both civil and military.

Y: Not to mention this combination of civil and military skills.

Guo: Then my dad ran a red light and went to the southwest.

Y: Your father is a fox spirit?

Guo: Your father is white!

Y: Why is there a red light?

Guo: I set fire to the back of my dad's fur coat.

Y: what son!

Guo: After that, I learned from the teacher every day: first practice palm, then practice boxing, and finally practice weapons.

Y: oh.

Guo: Practice the palm method first: iron sand palm. Stick it in iron sand, like this. Of course, at first, you can't stand it and get hurt easily. First, add rice (washed rice)

Y: Oh, just insert this rice?

Guo: I picked up some stones.

Where do you collect rice?

Guo: Practice.

What did you do?

Guo: Practice boxing again, stick iron beans with your hands and crush them!

Y: ouch!

Guo: Of course, you can't use iron beans at first. Use red beans first. To enhance friction, add brown sugar.

How about your bean paste stuffing?

Guo: Finally, practice weapons: practice piercing eyebrow sticks! Can you hit someone? First hit the tree: "hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit.

Y: Why do you have to rest every three to five?

Guo: Grandpa taught us: Do you have dates or not?

Y: Qu Yuan is greedy.

Guo: Don't insult our ancestors! I am happy to learn from my teacher.

Y: it's quite satisfactory.

Guo: Look at this face.

Y: here we go again

Guo: Teachers often teach us: practice hard, learn martial arts, and sell goods to the emperor. Remember the teacher's words: refugees can do martial arts, and no one can stop them!

Y: what a master!

Guo: Thank you, teacher! After listening to your best decission, I was suddenly at a loss, and I couldn't wait to find a dark evil force to die with him!

Y: good!

Guo: The teacher nodded: Well, your shameless appearance is like my charm ~

Y: hi! Don't pass it!

Guo: I was really looking forward to studying with my teacher for a long time. I didn't expect an episode to happen in the middle.

Yu; Which episode?

Guo: One day the teacher went down the mountain and went out to dance.

Y: Is the teacher still like this?

Guo: No, I went to see a net friend.

Y: hi! Dancing is better.

Guo: I happened to meet the daughter of a young confidante. From the moment I met her, the teacher knew that her Jianghu career was over and she was doomed to stay away from those days when white clothes came and went like snow. At the age of 80, the old man resolutely put on a wig and went to secularization! ~

Y: oh, ran away?

Guo: If the relationship is long-term, is it in pork and pork?

Y: what knowledge! Morning and night!

Guo: He's gone. What should we do? First, I didn't study hard with my teacher. Besides, May Day is coming, and I am very busy.

Y: Yes, it's time to stock up.

Guo: My brother and I are busy in the yard all day. How can I have time to think about other things (including jiaozi)?

Y: All right, don't cross this line.

Guo: We were busy this day when we suddenly heard someone knocking at the door outside. What does knocking mean?

Y: I don't know

Guo: Chicken eats Chili sauce!

Yu: Hu explained!

Guo: Someone is knocking at the door.

Y: Hey, just knock on the door.

Guo: Two people came in: Hello, we are friends' escort agencies outside Qianmen, Beijing. Our old shopkeeper specially asked me to invite you. We have something important to discuss.

Guo: (Bao jiaozi) We are so busy, how can we have time to go?

Y: Don't do it when people come.

Guo: I said that since people have invited me, it is not good not to go. I said my brother closed the fire and pulled it out with cold water. Go out and have a look, wow! There's another car!

Y: great!

Guo: Great! I said, brother, you go there, I go here, and we'll do it together, so it won't turn over. A wheel is hard to sit on!

Y: A unicycle?

Guo: Yes, yes, as long as you have a car.

Y: Didn't I bring you 50 Jin of glutinous rice?

Guo: The coachman pushed us to the front door.

Y: Oh, here we are.

Guo: The old shopkeeper and these heroes are waiting at the door. As soon as we came, we greeted each other with a smile: your appearance really made the toilet bright and colorful!

Y: Even the toilet has been painted.

Guo: When I went in, I saw a two-story building opposite, with an underground loess cushion and a knife and gun shelf on both sides.

Y: practice your family.

Guo: The old shopkeeper pointed with his hand: Let's go upstairs and have a drink. I'm worried!

Y: what's the matter

Guo: You can't take the stairs, which makes people laugh! At this time, it depends on your flying skills. You have to go up vertically.

Y: look at kung fu!

Guo: I take the stairs? Shame on you! What shall we do? Suddenly, he used his quick wits and made a gesture to my brother with his lips: OK, my brother took out the hidden weapon from his pocket and threw it at the southeast corner. I shouted, "There's an assassin!" Hearing this, the old shopkeeper said, "Where? Look! " They purred past, and I grabbed my brother and said, "Go upstairs."

Y: That's it?

Guo: After a while, the old man came back with a blue face: "Who threw the zongzi here?"

Y: That's what you need.

Guo: I said come up! You can't take the stairs to make people laugh, ah.

Y: I'm still staring at others.

Guo: A somersault of the old man. Feast: wild animals in the mountains fly in the clouds, cattle and sheep on the land are fresh at the bottom of the sea, monkey head, bird's nest, shark wings, scallops in bear's paw and deer's tail tip. We've got all the wine-eat, what are you waiting for? Throw away your cheeks and open your back teeth. Food is like the flowing water of the Yangtze River, like wind and clouds, just like dumping the earth in a box: "chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip, chip."

Y: ouch! Very enjoyable!

Guo: I'm full and drunk. The old man pointed down: gentlemen, are you sweating downstairs?

Y: sweating?

Guo: Let's practice downstairs.

Y: Oh, practice.

Guo: Look at the old man again. He stood firm and fell down again. What should we do? It sounds good, but it's no use throwing zongzi down. I kicked my brother: get down! Down the stairs, I followed: "ah ah ah ah ah."

Y: Well, I've spent all my brain on it.

Guo: When we got downstairs, the old man said, Who will come first? My brother said I'd go first! I'm going to take a trip to Liuhe Gun!

Y: good!

Guo: This liuhe gun is not easy to practice! There is praise as evidence: one eyebrow has two hearts, three eyebrows have four hearts, five eyebrows have six hearts, and seven eyebrows have eight hearts!

Y: All tied up in one place?

Guo: It's not easy to recite. I can't come here with bad memories!

Y: no problem! There is nothing wrong with just one sentence!

Guo: My brother is preparing to practice. I said you just caught a cold, don't repeat it! My brother nodded: That makes sense! Put the gun down, you won't change your face if you are angry!

Y: nonsense! He didn't practice breathing!

Guo: I said I would do it. You've seen guns and knives, but you haven't seen them or played with them! Today, I have a pistol and a knife. I want to show you what I can do!

Y: good kung fu!

Guo: I went to the weapon rack and raised a big iron gun. I weigh 120 kg, and my gun head "pounced" on the ground: "Hold on, old man, I'll pick the knife." The old man is really obedient: "There is a knife over there. Pick it." I took a knife, but I didn't pull it out. I hit a cloud in the northwest, followed by a thunder, and then I saw the old man lying on the ground like this (convulsing)

Y: You are so hurt!

Guo: I said you were wrong, old man. You didn't catch the China. Come again!

Y: haven't you got the China yet? Otherwise, you can't do this!

Guo: Hearing this, the old man said, "No, no, no!"

Y: I was so scared that all the foreign words came out.

Guo: Then I'll practice my knife.

Y: ok, you practice the knife.

Guo: I put the knife in my pocket and made a "hiding the knife all around at night" (rubbing it on my neck and falling to the ground)

Y: (pulls him up) Where to hide? Did you kill yourself here?

Guo: Tibetan Dao (placed on the left side of the neck) and Tibetan Dao (placed on the right side of the neck).

Y: Come on, don't put on airs.

Guo: The old man is very happy: You two promised us a dart. Come back and check it later. The old honeydew melons behind are all treasures of gold and silver. It's called a dark dart. Now this dart is difficult to protect. You two have a hard time!

Y: ok.

Guo: If I say that, I will disrespect you very much. Our brothers came out of the Escort Agency, out of Deshengmen, and went to Kangzhuangzi in Qinghe Xiaheying, Kangzhuangzi in Shacheng Security, Kangzhuangzi in Zhangjiakou Xiaheying, and Kangzhuangzi in Changping County in Nankou.

Y: Just a moment, please. You're just hanging around here, not going forward?

Guo: This is all my possessions.

Y: China can't stand here either.

Guo: At this time, it will be late. I said, brother, shall we stay in a hotel or a hotel?

Y: you say?

Guo: Eat noodles!

Y: Well, I'm hungry.

Guo: My brother is going to stay in a hotel. I said we should leave before it gets dark. Although the road is rugged, there is this hazy moonlight.

Y: Good idea!

Guo: We were walking forward when we heard a gong, followed by twenty minions, all wearing short skirts and spreading their wings. A big black head flashed in the middle: "Hey! I opened this mountain and carried this tree. Leave your pants if you want to live from now on! "

Y: take off your pants?

Guo: I said: bold thief! Not only rob money, but also rob color!

Y: What a mess!

Guo: I said brother, one person can't beat him. Let's fight together!

Y: Let's go.

Guo: Our two brothers each held a knife and gun and fought against the thief. Knife to gun, gun to knife, eyes watching and see the flaw, my heart said you came! With a big knife, click. The bucket head is rolling underground, and I'm crying.

Why are you crying?

Guo: Kill my brother!

Y: Fuck you!