How to make the person you love fall in love with you-Lillluntz, a record of love secrets.

First, "the nature of sexual attraction of scientific discovery" (the theoretical condition of attraction)

1. About PEA (phenylethylamine)

You already know that the excitement and infatuation of taking drugs, smoking and playing games are caused by dopamine. Think about what it feels like to fall in love with someone, such as a deer bump and crazy love. Is it also a neurotransmitter at work?

Yes, it's called pea. Scientists speculate that it is it that gives you this love theme that has been rendered by countless poets and movies!

However, the fanaticism maintained by this chemical will not last forever. Generally, within one to three years after you fall in love with someone, the phenylethylamine secreted in your body will be exhausted, but it is enough to make people really love each other vigorously, or say "I do" at the wedding and start to reproduce.

Accustomed to the indifference of love, even empathy, you want to give that damn Ta an injection of phenylethylamine, but it is estimated that it is difficult to control the object that Ta loves. Wouldn't it be worse if it catalyzed other people's feelings?

Therefore, we still learn some skills honestly, so that Ta's brain can secrete phenylethylamine for you, thus creating the feeling of love.

2. Early impression prints

Phenylethylamine, like other chemicals, is a physiological reaction of human body after encountering specific stimuli.

So, what makes us excited about someone?

Researchers have confirmed that in our childhood, when we are about 5-8 years old, what happens in life will produce a phenomenon called "subconscious imprint" in our brains, which is called "early sexual imprint", similar to the nestling complex in animal behavior.

Sex scientist John Monie created the concept of "love map" to describe this inscription. He believes that there are both positive and negative inscriptions in the love map.

Positive inscriptions, such as when my mother liked a certain flower fragrance when I was a child, when my father laughed naughty, or when your favorite teacher laughed, his nose would wrinkle. When you grow up, people who encounter similar situations will suddenly be attracted to him.

Negative inscriptions, for example, you were sexually harassed by men when you were a child, so you may never fall in love with a man with a sly smile when you grow up, or your grumpy aunt likes some kind of perfume, so you will smell the perfume on women like pesticides when you grow up.

It is easy for you to forget your childhood experiences, but they are all hidden in your deep and vast subconscious. Until the right time, when someone touches you, a lot of phenylethylamine will gush out of your blood vessels and hit your brain, so you are in love.

Second,? "Six elements to make people love you" (practical skills)

1. Overview

Scholars tend to treat love as a virus and study it from one or two aspects at a time. At present, they have made remarkable progress.

In their voluminous research results, six factors emerge clearly and become the six key reasons why people fall in love. They are:

first impression

② Similar personalities and complementary needs.

③ Self-esteem

④ Equivalence principle

⑤ The strategy of attacking in the early stage of love.

⑥ The secret of desire

Then, if you want to be a successful love hunter, you need to master the skills of hitting these six bull's-eyes. Below we will analyze these six factors one by one.

2. First impressions

(1) Two Preparations for First Meeting

Eye contact seems to be the most common reason for young people to refuse each other now, which makes the parents of countless leftover men and women furious. Eye contact is a ghost and the house salary comes first! Sorry, eye contact is really no excuse. Here, scientists support you. Eye contact is the first impression, which is very important.

The impression of meeting for the first time often goes deep into people's brains through their eyes, leaving a permanent memory. Therefore, in order for you to have a perfect first meeting with the right person, please make two preparations: appearance preparation and psychological preparation.

Appearance is usually our first means to get to know a person, and the right person will make a "go or stay" decision within a few seconds of seeing you. For men, because of the primitive instinct of women, they will automatically choose reliable objects with certain strength to support themselves and their children, so it is more important for men to wear quality clothes.

For women, men mainly pay attention to your appearance and figure, and are not too harsh on the quality of clothes, just look good.

Another important preparation is psychological preparation, because you don't know when and where the right person will appear. Sometimes, you may dress up properly, but you miss your perfect partner in this life because of carelessness or trance. What a pity! Dear Hunter, how important it is to turn on the radar when you go out.

(2) Four kinds of eyes that arouse love

Researchers have confirmed that everyone is obsessed with visual pleasure. Strong eye contact can make people feel strong emotions quickly, so here are four kinds of eye contact to help you achieve your goal.

(1) Long gaze.

Intensive and intense eye contact with your lover is the first step to make Ta fall in love with you. Because people like something, they will look at it more.

At present, people's eye contact only accounts for 30%~60% of the conversation length seen by researchers, and Ta must increase the eye contact time in your conversation to at least 75% if it wants to subconsciously introduce "I have fallen in love with you".

② electric eye

Scientific research shows that people prefer eyes with large pupils, which are called "electric eyes". If you are not born with electric eyes, thank the scientists. They have studied "When will people's pupils dilate" and come to the conclusion that when they see something they like, their eyes will dilate.

Therefore, when facing your sweetheart, the secret of releasing the electric eye is to stare at the part of Ta's face that you think is the most perfect and favorite.

(3) Attachment eyes

The reluctant gaze can arouse the primitive and slightly uneasy feeling in the other person's heart, and also induce the chemicals secreted during fighting or escape to rush into our blood vessels, which makes us ecstatic.

And when you have to look away because of the interference of foreign objects or the time is up, please be reluctant to part with it and show your nostalgic eyes like slow motion.

④ Visual journey

There is a phenomenon between men and women who have a good impression on each other: when the anxiety of love begins to spread in the body, their eyes will linger on each other's faces and slowly sweep each other's cheeks, hair, eyes, neck and shoulders ... There is a dreamy feeling between them.

In order to push your relationship with your lover to the next stage, you can use this visual tour, but remember, especially male hunters, keep their eyes on the safe area, or they may be shipwrecked.

(3) The art of chatting up people

For male hunters, the first thing you need to know is to make a decision, otherwise, when you hesitate, the right person is likely to meet you only once.

When chatting up, you can look at her first. If she pretends to avoid your eyes, but raises them again within 45 seconds, she welcomes your attention.

Remember, when chatting up people, try to use simple sentences, such as asking the time, asking for directions, praising her watch or clothes and simple questions related to the situation at that time. The simpler the dialogue, the better the effect. Because she knows that whatever you say is actually an excuse to get close to her. At this time, the simpler the problem, the less likely it is to make mistakes.

Huntress, we might as well strike first.

To give you courage, I can tell you that according to research, about two-thirds of romantic encounters are initiated by women.

If you are still shy, I can tell you that women often use "nonverbal seduction signals" to give men room to move forward. Those men who started a conversation on their own initiative later, when responding to women's nonverbal courtship, often think that they are the first step in their love. Here are some common success tips to see which one you like:

(4) The dance of intimacy

Dr Timothy Peppel studied the chance encounter in singles bars for 2000 hours. He told us that two newly met men and women would get to know each other better through a five-step intimate dance. See if you missed anything.

The first step is nonverbal signals. For example, when two people are within speaking distance, they smile, nod or stare at each other to let the other person know that he exists.

The second step is to talk. Even a simple "hello" marks the beginning of a conversation between the two.

The third step is turning around. They will turn their heads to each other first, then shoulder to shoulder, belly to belly, knees to knees. ...

The fourth step is slight physical contact. Be sure to pay attention to the word "slight", for example, he touched your hand when handing you a pretzel, and she brushed your coat when she helped you take off the thread on your clothes.

The fifth step is synchronization. For example, pick up the cup at the same time, turn around when you hear the noise outside, and then look back at each other immediately.

(5) Tips for the first conversation

Express "You impress me"

Both men and women will have a good impression on people who immediately like themselves. Therefore, in the initial conversation, we can use some words, such as "great", "perfect" and "great", instead of abrupt "I love you" and "I like you" to express our feelings.

Be sure to let the right person know that you like Ta, and Ta has left a good impression on you.

② Observe at any time.

Pay attention to Ta's facial expression, head movements, body posture, hand movements and eyes when talking. To a large extent, these parts will reveal Ta's reaction to your conversation. If the response is not good, please adjust the topic in time.

③ Looking for topics of interest to Ta.

Listen to Ta hard. If Ta repeatedly mentions a word in the conversation, this is the focus of your conversation. For example, when it rains, she said "plants", so it can be seen that Ta seems to want to say "plants", or that "plants" are part of Ta's life, and even Ta herself inadvertently said the word. All you have to do is seize the opportunity and get to the point.

④ Expression of "we"

This is an expression used by very close friends or lovers. You can skip the current relationship and establish a close relationship with the right person by using the expression "we", such as "If this fine weather continues at first, we should go out for a trip."

⑤ Share private secrets

Share some personal secrets with him, and remember that they are minor and harmless secrets, such as "I tried to get rid of the bad habit of biting my nails" or "My hair is greasy and I have to wash it basically once a day", instead of telling the whole story in the initial conversation.

6. The best first date confirmed by science.

Scientific experiments have proved that two people experiencing a dangerous thing at the same time will deepen their feelings. This is not to suggest that you take your first lover to jump off a cliff or take a drawbridge, but to suggest that you can choose some activities that are easy to cause mood swings, such as riding horses, surfing, watching horror movies, playing haunted houses, and taking adventures in secret rooms.

As far as gender differences are concerned, women pay more attention to verbal conversation, so it is the right choice for male hunters to take your lover to a place suitable for conversation; Men prefer to work with you, so it is a good choice for Huntress people to invite their loved ones to participate in some interesting activities, including sports and DIY.

Of course, you always go to a restaurant for dinner. Do you think it's that easy to choose a restaurant? This is an art!

Male curiosity hunters, if you are willing to pay a high price to invite her to a gorgeous high-end restaurant for dinner, you will get a good return; Huntress, considering men's habit of paying, you might as well ask them to pay for the first meal. When choosing a restaurant, you can choose those small restaurants that are not so expensive. He will find you interesting and not extravagant.

3. Similar personalities and complementary needs

In love, complementarity and sameness are a big topic. It is often said that we should find a complementary person, so as to learn from each other's strengths; But such a thing often happens in divorce: disharmony of character! Who do you listen to?

Research shows that this sentence is true, similarity lies in personality, and complementarity lies in demand (ability).

People with different personalities, even people with different views, are doomed to be miserable together! And two people with equal abilities are destined to have many things in life.

So, how to make the right person feel at home and find the "complementary feeling" of "Dear, you have everything I need"? This paragraph will provide some small methods. But whether to pursue the consistency of each other's personalities and the complementarity of needs depends on yourself.

(1) echo method

Try to use the words in the Ta language system. If Ta is a professional in a certain industry, we must respect the "proprietary vocabulary" of Ta, and don't change the vocabulary in Ta's mouth at will with your own customary address.

For example, she is a dancer, and she prefers to call her daily practice "rehearsal", so don't ask "How often do you train?" .

(2) Similarity of body language

Because in all kinds of jobs and social classes, people's body language is also very different, to some extent, it marks their own social groups. This is a very important sign to distinguish between "one's own" and "others", so when you have the right person, please take all these into account and follow the pace of Ta so that Ta can recognize you at a glance.

(3) establish similarity in each other's consciousness

In the different stages of love from beginning to maturity, lovers will realize three similarities.

The first is the same hobby. This is the most straightforward one, and it is also easy to establish, such as which book do you all like? Which movie? Wait a minute.

The second is the similarity of basic values, life beliefs, behavior patterns and world outlook. These things are very profound and important. Many times, when your Mr. Right doesn't know his own values, their body language is very telling. Therefore, by learning the previous "synchronization" rule and paying attention to capturing the body language expression of Mr. Li's reaction to the event, we can master the basic values of Ta and adapt to it.

The third is your "concept of marriage and love", or your inner expectations of what love and marriage should or should not look like are similar. It is also difficult to understand this point by asking straightforward questions. You can learn from other people's stories and ask them what they think of love, or in the process of getting along, you can collect information by observing Ta's comments, tendencies or opinions on some love-themed literature and film and television works, and love Ta in the way that Ta wants to love.

(4) Looking for the complementary needs of Ta

The right person will always appreciate your qualities that can make up for Ta's weakness. Through what Ta says and does, you can easily find out what Ta cares about most and what Ta wants to make up for most. Through Ta's praise, admiring eyes and even when you ask what advantages Ta likes most about his predecessor, you can find out what Ta needs to add most. Then all you have to do is try your best to make up for the deficiency of Ta.

4. Self-esteem massage

Do you know what kind of you your prince charming wants?

Houses, cars, tickets, these are very important, but not all, not even that important. People often say that "a flower is inserted in cow dung", which is very reasonable, because cow dung provides better nourishment for flowers. If it is a flower planted on a cold jade, it must be a fake flower!

Nourish Ta, make Ta better, make Ta feel that you are the person who discovers the beauty and inner beauty of Ta, the savior, safe haven and real prince of Ta, and the key to your heart!

A high-level self-esteem massage includes four elegant steps:

(1) Step 1: Make the other person feel that you are attracted by the magic of Ta.

When you meet the right person, use body language (such as the four eyes relative, synchronous behavior, etc.). ) to tell Ta's subconscious that you are irresistible to Ta.

(2) the second step, * * * love, in conversation, show understanding and recognition.

Tell Ta "I totally understand how you feel", "I can imagine" and "I totally agree". When listening to Ta, don't leave out details, insert these sensational sentences from time to time, and occasionally insert the name of the right person.

(3) The third step is to constantly embellish identity into daily life.

A clever hunter will carry out this truth in his daily life: give the spotlight to your prince charming. They will stick to the smallest details of the right person's life and discuss them in the conversation, so that the right person can feel that the smallest things in Ta's life are all major events worthy of attention in your eyes.

The intimate jokes unique to lovers are also a good seasoning for life. Some unique stalks between you can always make you smile. The trick here is to remember to choose only those things that the right person is deeply proud of, instead of turning them into a mockery of Ta.

In daily life, you should add footnotes to your love words, interspersed with "well done!" "Not bad!" "Hey, how clever!" Even "honey, you are great, you can cut the shredded mushrooms so perfectly!" " "Wait a minute.

(4) Step 4: Throw a fatal compliment.

Implicit compliment: A high compliment to the right person can be expressed in an implicit way to make it look more natural, such as "a really smart person like you …".

Bull's-eye praise: This kind of praise mainly conveys the feeling that "you are most proud of and I like it best". Think about the self-image of the right person. What are Ta's most conceited places?

What kind of image does Ta want to create in the eyes of others? Is it magnificent or ethereal and holy? Analyze your favorite place first, and then praise it.

Heizaizan: Observe your lover and your own feelings carefully, and think about it. What do you love most about Ta? What are the things that are not obvious but strongly attract you? Use them as the last chapter of the hymn killer's praise, and don't throw them out too early or too often.

A killer compliment, generally speaking, once a month is enough, which will fascinate your Mr. Right. Imagine someone saying to you, "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met." How would you feel in this situation?

Jump on your knees and praise quickly: When Ta completes a task, please give a praise immediately, immediately and seamlessly. A moment later may disappoint Ta.

When you get a compliment from t a: Please give a positive response and encourage Ta to make such a compliment again. At the same time, give Ta a compliment, such as "Oh, I'm glad you noticed this." "That's very kind of you." Wait a minute.

5. Equivalence principle

Robert burns said, "Love, oh, poetic love, half a day makes half a bird, pure miracle and wild desire." It makes us feel too much to hear that someone treats people's quality as pork belly or soybeans in the free market.

But that's the truth. That kind of desperate love happens after the beginning of love, and before the right person falls in love with you, the principle of equal exchange in the commercial market also applies to love. Ta needs to check whether you are the most cost-effective business that Ta can do.

Supporters of the theory of reciprocity list six factors that people value when choosing a husband or wife in the "free market":

Appearance, material or property, status or reputation, knowledge or learning, social etiquette or character, character.

Researchers tell us that in the happiest intimate relationship, the above elements of two people are more or less equal. Even if they are unequal, their qualities can make up for each other and reach a balance as a whole.

You can rate and compare yourself and your lover on these six factors. Each score is 1- 10. See if every score between you is equal, or you can make up for each other between elements.

You really can't change your appearance (if you don't have plastic surgery), your bank account, your pedigree, and you can't match your lover, but you can change Ta's view on these characteristics. Then, let's take a look at them one by one.

(1) appearance

First of all, I suggest you chase the object within 2 points of this element. Secondly, if you can't change your appearance, you can keep a good figure and posture through exercise, fitness and diet control, and you can make people feel that you are a beautiful woman in your behavior.

There is an example of research. Two beautiful girls who are not bad-looking pretend that their car is broken and stop at the side of the road for help. One of them got enthusiastic help from many people, but the other was ignored.

The biggest difference between them is whether they are confident or not.

The confident girl held her head high. It seems that she looks happy, smiling and confident-she looks beautiful because of this, and has won the help of most passers-by. The other one is sad, with his hands crossed on his chest, looking unhappy, gloomy and lacking in self-confidence-so she looks ugly, and no one wants to stop to help her. Do you understand? Confident people are the most beautiful!

(2) Materials or property

Let clothes show wealth. If you want to pursue a rich lover, make sure that every item on your body is never less than $65,438+000, except socks and underwear. This is a trick that makes you not be squeezed out instantly when you meet ta.

(3) Status or reputation

Let the dialogue show the family background. You don't need to collect and recite upper-class vocabulary, you just need to give up euphemism and use upper-class voice to ensure that every syllable of every word is full of pronunciation.

When chatting, we should choose topics that their class thinks are fashionable, such as the topic of art is fashionable and the topic of commodity price is old-fashioned; Talking about current affairs is fashionable, and political views with strong tendencies are old-fashioned; Praise and praise are fashionable, ridicule and ridicule are old-fashioned and so on.

At the same time, your language and vocabulary should also use rich and unique vocabulary. At this time, you need to prepare a dictionary, find out synonyms of many common words, choose those that you personally like and conform to your temperament, practice using them and internalize them into your own idioms.

The above are some skills that you can achieve "echo method" and integrate yourself into Ta's environment when you are pursuing a rich and powerful Mr Right.

(4) Knowledge or learning

Pursuing knowledge is a lifelong career, which can bring you lasting and profound happiness. Wisdom derived from knowledge can also be a powerful asset, making someone have a soft spot for you.

In order to improve their market value, never stop learning, so congratulations, how valuable it is to join the book club.

(5) Social etiquette or personality

This fifth asset can quickly increase your price in the free market, and the skills throughout the book can help you improve your scores in these two aspects. Please pay attention to every item.

(6) Personality

Although it is located at the last item in the asset list, it is by no means the least important item. Even, it may be the most important one when people choose long-term partners. Everything you know, everything you experience, and every excellent quality you develop are intangible benefits that can make others fall in love with you.

6. Tips to avoid capsizing in the early stage of love

In view of the natural differences caused by the differences between men and women, this paragraph puts forward some mistakes that male and female hunters can avoid in the early stage of love, so as to avoid the premature collapse of love because of unnecessary misunderstandings.

(1) Silence ≠ No love, Noisy ≠ Love to disturb.

Women are naturally fond of chatting, while men are more accustomed to silence. Just starting from our own feelings will make us doubt each other's feelings, but you should know that Ta's behavior is often just out of nature. You should keep pace with the rhythm of Ta, and don't be a guy that Ta thinks is "as stupid (or annoying) as other men (or women)".

(2) Male topic &; Female topic

Huntress, you should be familiar with all kinds of political ideas, objects, big toys, sports and other male topics. Show him your cleverness, but remember, don't be too clever.

Hunters, make your language more psychological. Talk to the right person, talk more about people, feelings, philosophy, basic principles and intuition. Remember, when expressing opinions, you should agree more and refute less.

(3) Ask women how they feel, but leave men alone!

Women like to talk about feelings, while men, on the contrary, often cause unnecessary contradictions between lovers.

Male hunter, no matter what the right person is saying, you just need to simply ask, "What do you think about this?" Go ahead, force yourself to ask, and you will find how surprised she is, because few men can read this sentence. However, after the surprise, she will give you a warm response.

Huntress should be careful not to ask about the feelings of the right person at will. Unless your relationship is stable, or you have found that the right person is a delicate man, don't persistently ask him how he feels about a situation. Be careful not to let the boat of love fall into the water before sailing.

(4) When you get lost, do you ask for directions?

When getting lost, women are often used to asking others for directions, while men are always firmly on their own. If their girlfriends ask someone for directions, they will feel like fools.

Therefore, male hunters, in order not to let your lover think that you are a wayward fool, when you get lost, reach out and ask someone for directions and solve the problem instantly. What a good choice!

Huntress, when you get lost, what's wrong with giving that fool some time if he is willing to solve the problem persistently by himself? Anyway, it's your lover. It's wonderful to have a chance to spend some time with him, isn't it?

(5) When Ta is in a bad mood, do you want to ask what happened to TA?

A woman needs her partner's listening and companionship to face the pain or trouble that has nothing to do with her partner. Unlike men, he prefers to remain silent and solve problems alone.

So, male hunters, ask! You need to let the right person know that you are by her side, even if she says, "No, I don't want to talk about it." You should also insist on saying, "Come on, I know you will feel better if you talk to me." Then all you have to do is listen attentively.

Huntress, stop asking! When your lover is in a bad mood for reasons other than yours, don't force him out of the cave, and don't make him feel guilty because he doesn't want to talk to you.

Let him know that you are willing to listen, if he is willing to talk, but give him the freedom to hide in the cave until he is willing to climb out voluntarily.

(6) Tell the meaning of VS directly.

This is a cliche. My advice to you is, Huntress, please don't hint, just say it, and tell him "I want …" and "I like …" instead of asking him "Do you want …" or "Do you think we should …? "

And the male hunter, when you call a spade a spade about everything and ask the right person directly, you might as well ask her opinion first. And when she asks you a question, don't just take it literally, read between the lines and understand her hints.

(7) Tips for common words

Huntress, when you need help, please use "Will you do me a favor?" Not "Can you ...? "This will make them feel that this is a challenge to their abilities, rather than asking for help.

Hunters, if something goes wrong with your relationship, or you somehow screw it up, please just say these three words: I'm sorry. When you use these three words, she will regard you as a treasure among men, because men almost never say these words.

7. The secret of desire

As a love book, there is naturally a relationship between men and women.

Please remember the point of this book-understand each other's deep needs and fantasies about sex and try to satisfy them.

Because of the different gender differences between men and women, men pay more attention to the primitive sex itself, while women pursue the deep affection of love in sex. The author suggests that the male hunter and Huntress can watch some movies and read some literary works to get to know each other.

But at the same time, she also pointed out that everyone's understanding and needs for sex are different. It is the most important thing to really understand your lover's thoughts, otherwise it will be self-defeating.

As for how to find out these ideas of the right person, the author suggests that the huntress can arrange an environment conducive to his free speech in an appropriate environment and atmosphere, and then ask him, but keep a joking and joking attitude.

Male hunters should consider women's shyness, let them keep these secrets in their hearts, and gradually understand her feelings and needs from her favorite movies, books, music and other contents through observation in daily life.

conclusion

There is no earlier, no later, at this moment, people who love each other just meet. Such a story is not the normal state of love, but a very lucky one.

When I was young, love was rich, passionate, straightforward and devoted, but many times those powerful ways were not welcomed by women.

Especially for boys, it seems that almost all girls their age are creatures from another planet. And girls always think that boys are almost stupid and don't understand feelings and hints!