Super funny joke

Super hilarious jokes, jokes have the function of making people happy, so jokes are very popular in life. Many people like to watch jokes. Joke can be said to be a special literary genre. The following is my hilarious joke.

Super hilarious joke encyclopedia 1 1. Someone fed a parrot, which is very clever. One day, a friend came to see him After ringing the doorbell, he heard someone inside say, "ring again." The guest presses again: "It says inside:" Press again and press again. The guest pressed the back door and the door opened. After the opening, the guest said, why did I ring the doorbell so many times? The host said: The parrot told you to press. My parrot is very clever. If you touch its left foot, it will say hello, if you touch its right foot, it will say goodbye. The guest touched it and it really worked. The guest is very happy and asks: What if you touch both feet? The master said he hadn't tried. The guest touched the parrot's foot, so he didn't want the parrot to shout, "Are you kidding me?" The guests stared.

Second, the buddy went to the interview! The examiner is a mature woman, and others say a lot of flattery! That buddy only said one sentence: little brother 2 1. The next day, the female examiner found a home, and you were hired!

Wife: You care more about the game than me and the children. Dave: Who said that? Wife: Don't you admit it? Let me ask you, when was our little treasure born? Husband: On the day of the match between Liaoning team and Bayi team!

When the wife was about to hit a truck, the husband shouted "Step on the gas!" Thank god, she stepped on the brakes!

5. Wife: "Who is in your office?" Husband: "Just me and the secretary." Wife: "That's a little chattering." Husband: "There is no time for small talk." Wife: "Are you busy with many things?" Husband: "Nothing, just can't make a mouth."

Six, there is a couple, the wife is responsible for buying food and cooking. One day, my wife had something to do at work and called her husband to buy food. After returning home, the wife suspected that the food her husband bought was not delicious. She said, "Look at the food you bought." The husband said, "I bought everything according to your sample."

Seven, a buddy asked his wife why she chose him among many suitors. His wife said he was the only one who didn't snore.

Eight, the drunk went to the wild and saw a small box. This box is full of precious treasures with a mirror on it. The man opened the lid happily, but he saw a man in the mirror at a glance. Surprised and scared, he quickly handed it over: "I thought it was an empty box. I didn't know you were in the box. Please don't be angry! "

Nine, I want to eat fruit when I am pregnant. I went to the fruit stand and bought a watermelon and litchi peach. On the way home, I couldn't lift it, so I put it on the ground to rest. Then a young man came to help me pick up the watermelon and left. I was so grateful that I quickly said thank you and followed him. He walked faster and faster, and finally disappeared into the crowd with watermelon. I ...

In Chinese class, the teacher writes "soft" on the blackboard and then lets everyone spell it. The boy shouted: the end of the day-soft. The teacher said: boys' pronunciation is not standard, please ask girls to supplement it. The girl shouted: the sky is over-soft. The monitor corrected: five nights during the day-soft. The teacher was impatient and corrected severely: the correct spelling should be-

The miser's son said to his father, "can you give me some shillings?" Tomorrow the teacher will take us to the zoo to see pythons. " "Why do you want to spend that money! Just take my magnifying glass and go to the river to see the earthworm. "

12. My wife is a cosplay lover. Once she lied to me that she was going on a business trip, and then I took my parents to dinner after work. When I opened the door, I saw her dressed as a beautiful girl warrior, with two yellow braids, pointing at us with a wand and saying, I will destroy you on behalf of the moon ~ ~ you ~ ~! ! (louder and louder) and then slam the door ... we froze for a moment, then she was normal for a second and opened the door for us. My parents laughed like crazy. ...

Thirteen, just watching the boys and girls in anhui tv rush forward, a woman rushed over and said it was for the baby. My baby is three years old! Then my mother looked disdainful and said, gee, my baby is twenty! Me:. . . . . .

14. A cavalry wife said to her husband, Mike, you are talking in your sleep. There is a Jenny. Who is she? Oh, that's my horse. The husband replied. Ah, I'm not even as good as your horse! The wife said sadly.

Fifteen, when cooking, the courier came and I didn't have time to open the door. Little brother knocked a few times, thinking that no one was there, and went downstairs. I quickly dumped the food, rushed to the balcony and shouted at my little brother's back: "Wait! Brother! Wait a minute! Don't go! " Several uncles downstairs were shocked, and my brother was even more shocked. He turned and looked up, looked at me for a few seconds, and burst into a warm smile: "Hmm! I'm not leaving! "

Sixteen years old, two good friends and colleagues chased a girl named Qu ... In order to show a good girl, one buddy changed the name of QQ to "Rhapsody" and the other buddy changed it to "Crazy Episode". As a result, the girl insisted that QQ was a crazy episode, and the open girl could not afford it. ...

Seventeen. "Does the father always know more than the son?" "Of course!" "Who invented the electric light?" "Edison." "Then why didn't Edison's father invent the electric light?" "Ha ha, it's getting dark. His father is busy inventing Edison. "

The husband likes to brag about himself, but the wife is impatient. One day, when her husband boasted to people that he was a martial arts champion, his wife swept his legs from behind and let him spread his limbs. The husband stood up with a carp and said, This is my coach.

Nineteen, 2008, I want to make a girlfriend; In 2009, I want to make a girlfriend; 20 10, I want to make a girlfriend; 20 1 1 year, I think I'd better forget it; 20 12, I want to have a boyfriend. . .

Twenty, girls can succeed once they become women, but boys need to be honed repeatedly when they become men!

A man asked a friend who was very afraid of his wife, "The Bible says that the husband is the wife's head. Is that your situation? " My friend's wife scrambled to answer, "Why not?" I'm just his mouthpiece. I am in charge of talking, and he is in charge of nodding. "The husband nodded in agreement.

Twenty-two, Hunan composition topic "Walking", I think I can write 800 words in one breath: Walking! Pass by! Don't miss it! All the goods in our shop start in 2 yuan and start in 2 yuan. Buy what you want cheaply and buy what you want. Now is the time, don't come again. All goods will be cleared and sold at a loss! Whatever you choose and buy is 2 yuan! Original price18 yuan, 0 yuan, now the whole audience is in 2 yuan. You can't buy two dollars at a loss, and you can't be fooled by two dollars …

Twenty-three, when Xiao Ming was one year old, he called grandpa for the first time, so grandpa died. It wasn't long before he called his mother for the first time and she died. Later, he called his father, so Wang Mujiang died next door. A doctor in Tsinghua pointed out that there is a bug in this joke. When grandpa was called, it should be Wang Mujiang's father who died next door. And a classmate of Jiaotong University pointed out: The carpenter's mother next door knows this is not a bug.

Twenty-four, I went to the internet cafe I often go to at night to find those teenagers. When I met them, my first sentence was, "Damn it! Laozi is lovelorn again! " Then my diaosi stood up and dropped the earphone, yelling, "What happened to your TM lovelorn? I have lived for 25 years and never lost my love! " The whole internet cafe was quiet in an instant! Then the cashier in the bar teased: "Hey, a 25-year-old virgin, come and celebrate for your sister!" Internet cafes are boiling again.

I pretended to be angry just now, and my husband was drinking milk. My husband ran over and gave me a "toot-toot" kiss and proudly said, "A milk kiss. What other flavors do you want to tell me! " Me: "It smells like shit." Husband is a mess ...

At the age of 26, Molly said: Before we got married, you always called me a taxi, but now you think you can take a bus. The husband said: This is because I am proud of you, dear. In a taxi, only the driver can see you, while in a bus, hundreds of people can see you.

On Christmas Eve, there was a man lying on the road. The onlookers asked noisily, "Why are you lying in the middle of the road?" The man shouted angrily, "Try drinking as much as me!"

Twenty-eight, friends and colleagues play mahjong, and one of the female colleagues plays cards very slowly. A friend teased her, and then the female colleague asked innocently, "How did you count out six dollars and seven dollars so quickly?"

My brother said which island is the coldest. My father said my brother in Iceland was wrong. Father said the answer was announced. My brother said A: There is an air conditioner in Bao Dao.

Thirty, wife: "The young couple next door quarreled, and no one else cared. What do you want to stir? " Husband: "How can I care? In the future, we will fight and no one will stop us. Can I stand it? "

Super hilarious jokes 2 1. When the boy saw the girl sad, he comforted her and said, "Be happy. Why don't we write our thoughts on paper and give them to each other? " The girl nodded. After writing, the boy opened the girl's note: I dreamed that I failed several subjects at the end of the semester, so I was scared. The girl opened the boy's note: I wish your dream come true.

2. Answer: "Who do you like best in Water Margin?" B: "Song Wu!" A: "Is it because he is brave?" B: "No, because he has a beautiful sister-in-law!"

3. Just received a short message: Your boyfriend was hit by a car. Please ask the hospital to cooperate and make a payment immediately. The account number is XXXXX. . . I replied: I was hit by someone!

In the cold winter, on the bus, three robbers walked halfway on the bus, holding a knife around the neck of a young passenger, threatening the whole car not to move. At this moment, this 2B shouted: Oh, big brother, cool, cool. The whole car couldn't help laughing.

5. "Why is your watermelon so cheap?" "Because my scale is not accurate."

6. "12356" and "4?" "Don't give change to 4."

7. I used to get good grades and eat whatever I wanted. Poor performance, I will eat whatever the dog eats. This month is awesome: ready to eat dogs.

8. I always thought: "If I am disconnected from the Internet, I will definitely spend all my time studying, which will double my efficiency." As a result, the network was really disconnected today, but I spent all my time desperately repairing the network.

9. "Sorry, I don't want this feeling of cheapness." I turned my head and lit a cigarette, ready to put on my shoes and leave. She grabbed my hand and her eyes were full of amorous feelings. I thought she would try her best to keep it. At this time, she finally couldn't help but say, "I have seen many old ladies who force women to be prostitutes and persuade them to be good." It's the first time I've seen you talk about the reason why you don't give money! "

10, I'm short, so my colleagues laugh at me for not selling baked wheat cakes. At first, I didn't understand what this meant. Later I learned that they wished my wife beautiful. What a world full of love!

1 1, hello everyone, I am Qin Shihuang, but I am not dead. I found the elixir of life and have lived to this day. My funeral was a scam. In fact, I buried a lot of wealth. My mobile phone is dead now. Who will charge me 100 yuan? When I stop by Xianyang, I'll make you rich.

12, my buddy's bank was robbed. A robber pulled out his weapon and prepared to rob. My buddy looked scared and smiled: Brother, did you take the wrong weapon? That's a cell phone! Robber: That's right, take out the money, or I'll press the power button!

13, just driving on the road, I saw a car with a miscellaneous brand. He drifts around the corner by inertia and is very fast. If you know who he is, please tell his family that he even drifts in the ditch with his car.

Super hilarious joke daquan 3 1, the soldier asked the company commander: what should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

I haven't heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed. I thought of death, and I cut my pulse with potato chips; Hit you on the head with tofu; Jump over buildings with parachutes; Noodles. Everyone can die. You can invite me to dinner and support me to death.

3. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl told the boy that if you kissed me, you would be responsible for me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old!

4. In the supermarket, you reach under the bar code scanner curiously, and the screen shows: trotters, 8 yuan. You think the machine is broken, put your face in the past, and the screen shows: pig head, 5 yuan!

5, guess: pigs all over the world are dead, put a song name! Sandy Lam, at least it's you.

6. The wolf came and the pigsty was a mess. Mother pig arranged for the big pig to block the door! Second pig, block the window! When she saw the pig, Mother Pig got angry and shouted: Third, don't read the news! You are fleshy, go out and draw the wolf away.

7. Don't get drunk in the future. What's wrong with me? Still talking! Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass, so you shouted, didn't you, brother? Brother did it!

8. Official log: get up in the morning and punch in; Have a meeting in the morning and take a nap; Eat at noon and burp; Go to work in the afternoon, hit ha; Work overtime at night and play cards; Entertainment at night, sex; Go home in the middle of the night and fight.

9. The lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: Dear, why are you so kind to me? Hey, hey, the cat said with a smile, you'll know when you get fat.

10, working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully: If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter! !

1 1, there are some things you should know! Days are used for windy and rainy days; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I was used to prove the greatness of mankind. And you: it's used to stew vermicelli. !

12, standing under a tall building, I feel sad, my face is wet and it tastes a little salty. Is it rain or tears? Look up at the sky. Who is peeing upstairs?

13. If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

14, have you heard of it? Looking back 500 times in previous lives, I brushed it in this life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, so they fucking turned back!

15, two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7 pieces.