Ask for a super funny joke

1. It is said that it is very clever to make a wish when there is a meteor in the sky. I made a wish on a meteor that day, hoping you would be smarter. Shit! Guess what? The meteor flew back the same way!

2. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou pottery jar. Yesterday, it went to the appraisal column, and the expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou did this belong to?" This is from last week!

3. Son: "Mom, I failed the math exam today." Mother: "Why, what's the problem?" Son: "The teacher asked me 2*3=? I said =6. " Mother: "That's right, and then what?" Son: "The teacher asked me 3*2=?" Mother: "Isn't this the same?" Son: "That's what I said. ..

4. A prisoner was shot. Bullets are produced in a county, and the quality is not good. The first shot was not fired, and then the second shot was fired ... the third shot ... at this time, the prisoner cried, "You strangle me, it's so scary!"

5. The father told his son a story: "Uncle told Xiaoyang to chop wood, but Xiaoyang cut down his uncle's favorite peach tree. Uncle was angry but didn't scold him. Do you know why? " The son replied, "It may be because Xiaoyang still has an axe in his hand, so he dare not scold him."

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two.

7. A judge squinted and tried three suspects, A, B and C, in one day.

The judge said to A, "Did you steal it?"

A: "No"

The judge was furious: "I didn't ask you."

"I didn't say anything either," C said.

8. Last bus

In the evening, the last bus, a woman in white sat in the last row.

The driver looked in the rearview mirror, and the woman was gone, shocked!

Suddenly braking, people sitting there.

Keep driving and look in the rearview mirror. The woman is gone. Brake back. The woman is now.

Keep driving, look in the rearview mirror, and no more women!

Suddenly, the woman came slowly, with messy hair and blood all over her face, and whispered:

"Old niang and you had been enemies? As soon as you tie your shoelaces, brake hard. "

9. Know the root and the bottom

A group of professors were invited to fly.

After sitting down, they were told that the plane was designed by their students.

As a result, many professors got off the plane.

Only one professor sat there motionless.

Someone asked him why he didn't go down quickly. He said, "Don't worry, this plane can't fly at all."

10. Teachers who care about students

One day, when the math teacher finished class, he said, "Students, the senior high school entrance examination is coming soon. In order to make everyone get good grades in the exam, I went to the bookstore last night to find a very good counseling material. Many of the above contents are the contents of the senior high school entrance examination in previous years. I suggest ... "

Before I finished, I was interrupted by a male voice: "Don't talk so much nonsense, make a price!" "

1 1. I didn't bring my book.

My classmate's school style of study is not very strong, and no one comes to class at the end of the term.

In other words, my classmate was very obedient and went to class one.

As a result, he is the only one in the classroom, which can accommodate 100 people. Seeing his studious spirit, the teacher said, classmate, let me draw the key points for you!

Best of all, my classmate said, "Teacher, I didn't bring my book."

12. Great talent

In the dining room, student A said to student B:

"The new semester is a new atmosphere. The amount of food today is obviously more than before, and our suggestion has finally been taken seriously. "

Student B patted him on the shoulder and said, "Don't think too much. The master has been on leave for two months and his hands are a little rusty. "

13. Only one demonstration is allowed.

The instructor of the Iraqi suicide bomb training camp said to the young people who entered the camp for training:

"Attention, everyone, I will only demonstrate this thing once!"

14. Don't waste salt when cooking.

I was hungry last night, so I went to the ground floor to eat.

When the water boils, put salt, and accidentally put it.

Don't want to waste, brain-dead rinse the pot in his hand. ...

15. I'm Du!

One day, Xiaoming's phone rang. Xiao Ming immediately picked up the phone and said:

"Hello, this is a telephone message. Please leave a message after hearing Du. "

There was no response on the phone for half a day. Xiao Ming said angrily, "I'm Du, why don't you talk!" "

16. People who can sleep

Everyone knows the college entrance examination these days.

Just now, I saw a man of God in Weibo: Shit, I got up late, and I have to repeat next year.

Those who can sleep can't afford to be hurt.

17. You look terrible.

I once quarreled with my classmates. He is so noisy that I can't compete with him.

When I was in a hurry, I said, "I'll spit your face out."

He listened and looked at me for a few seconds, and sure enough, he stopped arguing.

18. What do you want others to say?

The priest asked his parishioners, "What do you want others to say when you are lying in the coffin?"

One person said, "I hope others will say that I am a family-oriented person."

Another person said, "I hope others will say that I am helpful."

The third man said, "I hope others will say,' Look, he seems to be moving!'" " "

19. Doors that cannot be pushed open

Patient: "Doctor, I always have the same nightmare recently. What's wrong? "

Doctor: "What dream did you have?"

Patient: "I kept dreaming that I came to a door, so I pushed and pushed, but I just couldn't open it!" " "

Doctor: "What's on the door?"

Patient: "There is a word" pull "..."

20. Know the good and the bad.

The child who studied well before the exam said, "I went to the exam!" " "If you don't study well, just say," I'll go! Exam! "

2 1. Hold my hand

Before the execution, the warden asked the condemned man sitting in the electric chair, "Do you have any other requirements?"

Death row: "I just hope you can hold my hand during the execution and make my heart feel better."

The child who studied well after the exam said, "I'm finished!" " "Those who are not good at learning say," Shit! It's over! "

2 1. I can't stand this lesson.

After the winter vacation, the school just started. In a class of Grade Two in primary school, 80% of the students are doing their own things.

The teacher was angry: "Do whatever you like! You can't take this course. "

A classmate calmly raised his hand: "Teacher, can I shoot?"

The teacher said casually, "Whatever."

The student casually took out a set of firecrackers from his schoolbag and put them in the classroom. ...