Sexy messages from a couple of funny men and women.

Small color's being with each other occasionally in love can not only enhance feelings, but also be a good pastime, provided that he (she) is really a boyfriend and girlfriend, or a hooligan.

1. I woke up the day before yesterday. He said: Where is your body? He replied: It's almost Nanjing! Me: Oh, please take care of yourself, I care about him more!

2. Call or stay up late every night. Me: Well, it's time for bed. Give me a kiss! He: Bang! Me: One more kiss! He: Bang! Me: One more kiss! He: Bang! Me: more ~ ~ ~ He: ... rogue! ! ! Laughing so hard that I can't sleep ~ ~ ~

3. Me: Are you home yet? Have a good rest. He: I have a mistress to take care of you Don't worry! Go home and sleep! Good Night! Me: OK! Thank the hostess for me! Good Night!

He is on a business trip. I sent him a message: where is the sweetness in the little wife? He replied: no, the third wife is here, the first wife, you go to sleep first.

5. I sent: it was cold, and I sent him more documents when I went out: thank you, teacher.

6. Me: BF, I'm taking a shit. Are you eating? He: .........

7. Me: Little brother, come to my sister's house, and my sister will give you a lollipop. He: Good! Me: No reserves! What about what I taught you before? He: OK, give me two before you go! Me: # @ # RMB% .................................................................................................................................................................... Me: Then let's play the game of Dr. Color checking the body of an ignorant girl. He: Watch, people will play with that strange teacher and leave my little sister after class! Me:% @ # RMB%.

8. He: I happened to see a beautiful woman on the subway. I: ... angered him: she still accosted me. I: What did she say to you? He: Stay away from me! ! ! ! ! Me: collapse ~

9. One night, after washing my face, my boyfriend called ~ I pressed it and replied, Baby, I am pasting a cucumber and my mouth is sealed ... Later I will reply: MD is cheaper than that cucumber! Tell him this is my patent! Hui: Stop it ~ You can't laugh if you stick a cucumber on it! Hui: Fortunately, his surname is Huang. Forget it. I'm not that knowledgeable ~ Laugh and spray ~ All the cucumbers stuck to my face have fallen off ~ ~ ~

10. I sent it; Little girl, come and give your uncle a smile. Wow, hahahaha, you tough little girl, I'm going back; Seriously, watch me go back and tidy up you and him; I just laughed. Why do you have to pick up others? I go back; Laughing too loudly scared my uncle.

1 1. Me: I have a new lover. I love my princess and find her own way ~ ~ He: Don't you dare! I'm not finished with you (change roles right away). Me: I dare not, but I am willing to serve for life ~ He: Come on, dance for uncle ~ ~

12. Me: I can't come to the bedroom tonight. Please go to bed early, save your strength, and come back tomorrow to check the signs of my concubines. He: I have three thousand harem beauties. I don't have to worry too much about this, but I must endure loneliness:) Me: It seems that I must kill myself and poison myself tonight! He: I'm kidding. I dare not turn over other people's brands if I have the courage. Besides, although there are many harem brands, they are all written by the same name:)

13. Me: Smile, little girl. He: Alas, Mr. Chen, Mr. Chen, you haven't come to see others for many days ...% # * # Xiao recently learned eighteen jokes. If teacher Chen doesn't dislike little girls, I'll give them a paragraph.

14. I sat on his lap and hooked his chin with my index finger: Girl, sing me a song. He:-_-! Me: Why? Afraid I have no money? He: You always say that before eating for free!

15. I: Girl, give Grandpa a smile ~ He: Grandpa, you haven't settled your last account yet ~ I: Credit! Who's with who? He: No whoring! ! !

The following is the latest update

16. He: Honey, when will you come back? Me: I will never tell you so that you can have time to clean up the crime scene.

17. Me: Honey, I washed 23 socks this afternoon. I'm exhausted. He: *! How can there be odd numbers? ! Is there only one pair of socks? Me: No, there are three pairs of socks and only one pair is left. He: ......

18. Me: Honey, give me a kiss, give me a kiss.

He: Why the hurry?

? Me: I just took the medicine and my mouth is bitter! ? He: It happens that the girl I kissed just now has a sweet mouth. Let's combine it ~? Me: angry ~ which girl? ? He: the girl who didn't take medicine ~? 19. Me: Honey, do you know why Xiao Huang and Xiaobai play guessing games all day? ? Ho: ...? Me: Because Xiao Huang and Xiaobai are two pigs, they can only produce scissors. Ho: ...? Me: Hahahaha ... Why don't you laugh? Give me a smile! ? He: Ha ha, ha ha ...? 20. Me: Get up! ? He: I heard it! Come here, girl, why don't you sing a song for grandpa? Me: ... He: What? ! Dare not sing? ! Let me sing a song for you. ? 2 1. Me: Honey, you've taken me away for so long. It's time for us to go home. ? He: Honey, to tell the truth, I'm actually lost. ? 22. Me: Let's go straight to that road. ? He: It's too far to get there. I won't be able to walk back for a while. ? Me: Nothing, you carry me back. ? 23. Me: Honey, I made you a * * * to see if you like it. ? He: Why do you do it for me when you have nothing to do? What's the plot? ? Me: No, honey, I want to make myself a pair of cropped pants. I cut it a little when I found it was long, and then I found it was still long, and then I cut it a little, and then I cut it a little, and it became * * * ... What: ...? O(∩_∩)o ... Haha, you're killing me ...? ?