Classic funny sentences

Classic funny sentence 1 1, not every flower can represent love, but roses did it. Not every tree can stand thirst, but poplars did it. Not every pig can receive text messages, but you did it!

2. Legend has it that wishing on a meteor is smart. I wait every day. That day, I finally saw a meteor. I closed my eyes and made a wish before it fell. I hope you become smart from an idiot. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find that the meteor flew back in the same way!

If I had a candy, I would give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If I had two sweets, we would each have one. I think we would be very happy together. If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!

4. To calculate the problem, choose a number from 1 to 8 as a, a plus 3 minus 2 to get b, and b times 9 to get c; Add 10 digits to C to get D, multiply D by 50 to get E, and subtract 200 from E to get F, which means your life. Very clever!

5. I can't sleep when I miss you, I have a lot of thoughts when I love you, and I am lonely without you. I would like to turn into a lovesick bird, cross Qian Shan, fly to your head and pull a pile of shit, yeah!

6. You look happy dragging a pig shopping. I passed by and said sympathetically, "Look at a person's grade and who he is with." Before I finished, I saw the pig abandon you with disdain.

7. The falling rain reminded me of my infinite thoughts. To put it bluntly, I miss you When the weather is fine, I will take you to that green meadow. But I agreed with you in advance: only eat grass and don't arch the ground!

8. The Red Chamber is a stone edge, the broken bridge is a snake edge, the serial studio is a fox edge, butterfly lovers are butterfly edges, and the West Chamber is a white edge. How can life be missed?

9. It's the end of the month. If you still have something to say, please read this tongue twister after me: level 1 difficulty: nonsense, waving phone bills. Level 2 difficulty: the phone bill will evaporate. Level 3 difficulty: playing nonsense and volatilizing phone bills!

10, our fate began thousands of years ago. That autumn, we played in the maple forest with fallen leaves like fire, and you chased me. Finally, when you caught up with me, you kindly bit me. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

1 1, it's the Spring Festival today, and there's nothing for you, so I'll give you all the change in my pocket in steel. If someone bullies you, hit him with steel and let him know how powerful we rich people are. Don't forget to pick it up when it's smashed, we still have to live!

12, you know? I dreamed of you again last night. We snuggled up by the river. You look at me, I look at you. Suddenly, you looked up and said three words to me affectionately: "woof, woof, woof!" " "

13, hey! I dreamed that you were swimming in the water last night. I looked worried, so I called you to come up quickly. I didn't expect you to ignore me and look up at me: what are you yelling at? Haven't you heard that dead mice are not afraid of cold?

14, hope is like fire, disappointment is like smoke, and life is like fire. ...

15, full moon night, top of Huashan Mountain, alone, like a fairy? Long hair fluttering, far-reaching eyes, holding an object, pointing to the sky! Retract slowly, stretch slowly, look up and shout after three laps: "Unicom, no signal!" "

16. If I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world dies, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you with tears. If I leave and the feed is in the trough, don't starve yourself!

17, I had a dream last night, dreaming that Taibai Venus told me many secrets! It turns out that we were all immortals 500 years ago. I cried, I remember! Sweet, it's Jiro! Do you remember me, Xiao Tian? How about these hundreds of years?

18, I'll help you solve the problem that Confucius can't solve.

19, are you a dung ball that has been rolled by a small retarded dog, a cockroach that has been trampled on, and a cockroach that has been adopted by a mentally retarded master in Shaolin Temple, who is known as a pear flower crushing Haitang?

20, the sky is not blue without you, the days without you, upset, life without you, it is really difficult, when can I really have you, my dearest ... not beauty, not you, but money!

Classic joke sentence 2 1, don't tell me about life, you are not born.

I don't know music, so please forgive me for being unreliable and out of tune.

3. The difference between a man and a pig is that a pig has always been a pig, but sometimes a man is not a man.

If my life is a movie, you are a pop-up advertisement.

Mom told me: If your husband bullies you, let your grandparents take him away.

I'm in a bad mood today. I just want to say four sentences, including the first two. I quit.

7. It's hard for me to be nice to you. I try my best to be with you. And ignore what you don't need.

8. The smell of a woman lies in the smell of a man standing beside her.

9. Worry is hard to hide. Cover it with your mouth and it will pop out of your eyes.

10, life is the process from the white rabbit to the wolf and then to the old fox.

1 1. Yellow thick soil as evidence, I'd like to exchange 20 Jin of meat for good weather in China this year. ...

12. We will know tomorrow the day after tomorrow.

13, if you are well, it will be fine. If you are not well, it will rain every day.

14 suddenly found that the first thing to get up is to touch the phone, and the last thing to do before going to bed is to put down the phone.

15, Mr. Summer vacation. I was wrong. Let's not break up. Let's start over.

16, I am as busy as a bee every day, and I have to constantly convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

17, you can lose face without laughing, because you have no face and are thin.

18, if something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

19, the hero is a beauty when he is angry, and the beauty asks for money with a smile.

Turning girls into women is the most basic responsibility and obligation of our young people.

2 1, when the day pressed the night on the bed again, the sun was born.

22, you also learn from others Tencent, and call me dear every time you go online.

23. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you are online, I am invisible.

24. When it is coldest, blow bubbles with your nose. ...

25, look at my head, like a small collection! It's not easy to find those

Classic funny sentence 3 1, I have poor eyesight, for example, see that thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can't.

My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I didn't have a chance to interrupt her.

I pretend to work for the boss, and the boss pretends to pay me.

I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be a perfect person.

I think I should lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed 100 ml of lard.

6. I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. My friends call it self-confidence.

7. Have you heard the story that the big pig said yes and the little pig said no?

8. In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.

9. Can we find a place to have a drink and make friends? Or should I give you my wallet?

10, money alone can't make people happy, so I also stole some jewelry, stamps, watches and so on.

1 1. Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey died, which proves that there are no bugs in the stomach when drinking whiskey.

12, except for one item, all the other columns are filled in, and the relationship column should be filled in by the mother-in-law, so don't be nervous.

13. In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

14, if Bill Gates can get one yuan every time the computer is restarted, then he will be rich.

15, The Association for the Blind sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.

16, every day I am constantly creating a world record-the number of days I have lived in the world.

17, your shooting performance is really poor. If I were you, I would kill myself at once in case you get shot more.

18, your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, a first day; Fifteen points.

19, are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw stones at my head!

20. Why don't you be rational? My uncle is here. Why did you think of going to the zoo to see bears?

2 1. I lost all my money, furniture and clothes. Now I go out like an Arab.

22. Attention robbers: Our employees only know Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. You'd better bring an interpreter. Thank you!

23. If an idiot can fly, then my company is an airport.

24. If you want to compete with tigers who can starve to death more, you win.

25. If you need suggestions or opinions, we will provide them free of charge; If you need the correct answer, please pay extra.

26. If Beethoven is the father of symphony, does it mean that Beethoven's father is the grandfather of symphony?

27. Life is really boring. Last month, one of my buddies borrowed 4000 yuan from me and said that he was going to have plastic surgery. As a result, I don't know what he has become.

Ten years later, the court sentenced the murderer to death for the second time.

All men are created equal, except those who get married.

30. I put the TV remote control on my waist, making it look like I bought a new mobile phone.

Classic funny sentence 4 1. If the son doesn't listen, he can fight appropriately, or he doesn't show majesty, that's all.

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

I lured an apricot out of the fence because the garden couldn't be closed in spring.

I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I have been following the rules for so many years.

5, it's raining, don't forget to bring an umbrella, wet body is small, gonorrhea is troublesome!

6, the hair is gone, dandruff is more prominent!

7. A fat man claims that he is not a clown.

8. Describe your life with your 2B pencil.

9. No matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love and talk about a world full of love.

10, I really envy you for knowing me so young.

1 1, since I became a piece of shit, no one dared to step on my head again.

12, take the title of big milk and enjoy the treatment of second wife!

13, other people's money and wealth are things outside their bodies.

14, everyone else is pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be serious.

15, we are all farsighted, which blurs our recent happiness.

16, I definitely didn't feel a catty of white wine, because I died after drinking half a catty.

17, I was drunk and didn't accept anyone. I held the wall.

18, pregnancy is like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.

19, I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.

20. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!

2 1, who has no Shǐ since ancient times, who goes to the toilet without paper.

22. When you look up at others on the ground, you can't blame them for standing up straight and looking down at you.

23, money is not a problem, the problem is that there is no money.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital.

25. I am not a customer service staff, and you have no right to ask me to answer this and that.

26. It is not difficult to drive, and I am afraid that there will be new people.

27. The sexiness of the soul is the real sexiness in the bones.

28. Never seen such a disgusting school-set the mid-term exam on May 8th!

29. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but you were only caught twice?

30, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

3 1, I'm still young and need advice, but I don't need your advice …

32. House prices are getting higher and higher, and there are fewer and fewer good men. ...

Friends around me, quickly become famous, so that my memories can be recorded and sold. ...

Give me a fulcrum, and I'll put my neighbor's car in the ditch so that he won't honk when he sees me.

Classic funny sentence 5 1, I allow you to enter my world, but you are never allowed to enter or leave my world.

2, family background, life experience Kangxi, character Yongzheng, career prosperity, everything Jiaqing, bright future, wealth and Xianfeng, internal and external governance, Qian Qiu Guangxu, and publicity!

I am not a casual person! But whatever, it is not a person!

4. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. More unfortunately, the soul and body have not felt that itch for a long time.

If handsome can be a meal, then my handsome can support 654.38+03 billion people.

6. Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.

7. About thongs: I used to take off my pants to see my ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear. ...

8. The biggest sorrow in life is not that you can't get anything, nor lose anything, but that you don't know what you want at all.

9. How nice it would be for your parents to spend that 10 minute for a walk!

10, you have to find out the script of your life-not the sequel of your parents, the prequel of your children, or the foreign story of your friends.

1 1, boys are poor, otherwise they don't know how to struggle; The girl is full, or some flowers will be abducted.

12, anyone can be vicious, as long as you have tried jealousy.

13, and the head with shell has a thunderbolt hairstyle.

14, the only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear inside!

15, although you are a tooth! Don't feel sorry for yourself, just have teeth! You can dig sweet potatoes, cover your chin when it rains, separate the tea residue when you drink tea, and use it as a knife and fork when you have a picnic. Do you think you are the best?

16, God decides who your relatives are. Fortunately, it leaves room for you to choose your friends.

17, shouting loudly: My illness is finally saved!

18, people without medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark. ...

19, when the pain comes, don't always ask, "Why me?" Because you didn't ask this question when happiness came.

20. Huns are down and out in rivers and lakes, and they can't tell the difference between east, west, north and south. Hit the corner and count the stars on the ground!

Classic funny sentence 6 1. Aside from the novelty at the beginning, companionship and understanding are more important.

2, scientists say that the overweight, the shorter life expectancy!

3. Why does God always doze off when I am unlucky?

If you fall, get up and cry again.

5. When there is a bright moon, look up by yourself.

6, happiness must know how to share, in order to double happiness.

7. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

8. A fat man's life is like a measuring cylinder, and he is destined to study all his life.

9. Lovers are animals, and loved ones are plants. If you refuse love, animals will leave, of course, because plants will not give birth to feet to escape.

10 The tiger gave the lion green in the zoo. The lion was angry and the tiger felt innocent. When the breeder asked, he found that the tiger had a lawyer qualification certificate.

1 1. I used to be poor, but I was happy. It's different now, not only poor, but also unhappy.

12, since you are a waste, I have to use it.

13, love is like coffee, bitter and mellow; Love is like a song, winding and moving; Love is like sour plum, blue and sweet.

14, as a typical loser, you are really successful.

15, I didn't mean to be different, so I can't help but have outstanding taste.

16, summer is hard. I didn't even drink the northwest wind when I was poor. Fortunately, it's autumn.

17, so lonely, even my desire broke free.

18, he didn't do anything, but you didn't let yourself go.

19, hooligans are not terrible, but they are afraid that hooligans have culture.

20. I just want to play with water. How can I get stuck in the swimming ring?

2 1, wear the shoes of scum and take the road of learning hegemony.

22. Being alive for one day is a blessing, so cherish it. When I cried that I had no shoes to wear, I found that someone had no feet.

23, only the heroine is sad, and the wife's job is hard to find!

24. Go shopping with your boyfriend in summer, and he won't always want to walk in the shade behind you.

25, moving can not replace feelings, nostalgia can not go back to the past.

26. Life is like breathing. "Breathe" is to take a breath, and "suck" is to fight for a breath.

27. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.

28. My husband turns off the lights at night. I want to be a soft girl, so I got into my husband's arms and said, honey, I'm afraid of the dark. He pushed me away: come on, don't pretend. Last time you went to the haunted house, you shook hands with those ghosts all the way, just like taking a leader to the countryside!

29. If you want to be irreplaceable, you must be different.

Only those lazy people will complain about the pain of not getting up every morning, and those who are really motivated will call for leave immediately.

Classic funny sentence 7 1. A pineapple went to get a haircut. He sat for a long time, but the barber refused to cut his hair. He said, "Leave me alone."

2. I accidentally want to grow old with you.

Many people understand "generosity" as "pregnancy".

4. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or squatting outside the toilet.

5. You think you are great when you are older. Dinosaurs are still very big, but they are still extinct.

Everyone says I'm ugly, but in fact I'm just beautiful.

As long as I work hard, there is nothing I can't screw up.

8. Couples come every year, especially this year.

9, although often, but heaven can be learned, the wife is not unreasonable. She always asks my permission before calling. If I say no, she will call me until I agree.

10, life goes on, time goes on.

1 1, you will never know how ugly you are without confession, and you will never know how bad your character is without borrowing money!

12, it's so hot, we will get to know each other.

13, some people are really strange. What makes you call me fat? What did you buy me to eat?

14, career, perseverance alone is not enough. Before insisting, it is a choice. If you find the right direction, there is hope of success.

15, the rich are in Taobao, and the poor are escaping. I beg you.

16. The only time you need to look back in your life is to see how far you have come.

17, it doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

18, time will not dilute the pain, time will only make people get used to it.

19, no matter how poor the poet is, he can't be crushed. A printing error will kill him.

20. Your address is up to me. Hmm? Call your husband!

2 1, I counted my fingers and found that I was missing from your life.

22. Love and romance need qualified men to do! Love is a luxury that ordinary people can't afford!

23. Old love is like slapping. Once I think about it, I will get a slap.

No matter how happy a bachelor is, he will get married sooner or later. Happiness is not permanent!

25. If the teacher didn't say you can't litter, I would throw you out.

26, being a low-key person and reading a high-profile book, so my mother has been emphasizing.

27. No matter what happens, don't bow your head, because you have a double chin.

28. No one knows whether you are doing well or not, but everyone knows when you are fat.

29. I wish you a group of wives and concubines in the future and enjoy happiness forever!

30. Keep yourself busy. If you are too busy to think about unimportant things, many things will be forgotten quietly.