Quotations from the funny version of Journey to the West

Sun Wukong’s phone message

1. When you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~ sound, beep~~~~~ ~~

Wukong, you are naughty again, aren't you? I am the master. There was a lot of trouble some time ago. You like running around by nature, so you are not quarantined, right? Hey, Master, because I went to play mahjong at Sister Guanyin’s place, I went to Guangzhou to observe the Canton Fair, but ended up being quarantined and observed when I returned home. I am very depressed. After I am released from quarantine, how about we make an appointment with Bajie and Lao Sha to go to karaoke?

2. If you have something to say and something to fart with, don’t chirp. , please speak after the ~beep~ sound, beep~~~~~~~

Zhizunbao, I have sent you so many text messages, but I haven’t seen you reply to one. It’s a shame that I’m here all day long. I miss the scene when you rode the colorful auspicious clouds to marry me, hum! But I still like your personality. By the way, I will soon follow your Tathagata brother to rush to the epidemic area to save sentient beings. I am thinking, if I get the epidemic, will you still kiss me like before?

3. When you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~, beep~~~~~~

Brother Monkey, Bajie Ah, please could you please change this disgusting message? I have called you N times and the damn answering machine is always talking. Recently, my home has been equipped with broadband. If you have nothing to do, come and watch pornographic websites together. The speed is absolutely enjoyable. Also, my QQ number has been changed. The new number is - 3838338. In addition, I also changed my online name, which is called Bridal Flower Pig. I am usually online 24 hours a day, so you can chat with me online.

4. When you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~, beep~~~~~~~

Senior Brother , I am Sha Laosan, hey, I have been very busy recently, so I haven’t contacted you, don’t blame me. You know, Bai Longma and I started a Shabai moving and freight company, which also engaged in cleaning and cleaning. It was very popular some time ago. Our company was busy disinfecting people everywhere. We were so tired that we almost didn't vomit blood, but we were also very cruel because of it. I made a fortune. You can come and get the 30,000 yuan I borrowed from you at any time. When the time comes, call the master and the second brother. Let’s go to the sauna together. I’ll treat you.

5. When you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~, beep~~~~~~~

Dead monkey , Stinky monkey, you are such a big ***, it’s been so long, why don’t you call me? I’m living a good life now, God gave me a beautiful face and a charming figure, so there is no shortage of men around me , but in my heart, I just want to hear you still call me: Jingjing!

6. If you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp, the trouble is~du ~ and then speak, beep~~~~~~~

Sun Wukong, do you still remember me? I am the little Tiantian you used to be, and now the Sister-in-law Niu, Iron Fan Gege! You were kind last time I helped your nephew Honghaier pay the sponsorship fee to go to Guanyin College for further study. Our whole family was very touched. Thank you. Lao Niu and I are very good now. Lao Niu has a lot of rules now. He no longer goes out to mess with women, but just squats at home and surfs the Internet every day. Okay, come to our house for dinner another day, and I will personally cook for you your favorite dish - grilled chicken wings!

7. If you have something to say or something to fart, don't squeak. , please speak after the ~beep~ sound, beep~~~~~~~

TNND’s dead Hericium, you keep saying brother, the so-called one you introduced to me on QQ last time PLMM, it turns out that I spent a lot of effort on QQ to finally get her to agree to meet, but as soon as we met, I was scared out of my wits.

You miss me, Lao Niu, who has a great reputation all his life, but I was scared to death by dinosaurs. What’s your intention? By the way, if my yellow-faced woman asks you about me, remember to help me smooth things over!

8. If you have something to say, if you fart, don't chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~ sound, beep~~~~~~~

Monkey, when will you pay back the three swords you owe me? Ah? Haha! Just kidding, I am Putao La. By the way, now that you have been promoted, should I call you Fighting Buddha, Sun Wukong, or Supreme Treasure? I think it doesn’t matter, the most important thing is the relationship between us. emotion. I have also changed my career now. I no longer work as a bandit, which is a very promising career. Now everyone calls me Patriarch Bodhi. If you have time, come to see me at the Taoist temple. Don’t bring gifts. Just bring a bunch of grapes. , haha!

9. When you have something to say or fart, don’t chirp. Please speak after the ~beep~ sound, beep~~~~~~

Fighting to defeat the Buddha, you, Sister Guanyin, I take the world as my own responsibility. After many searches, I finally found out

Sorry, your phone message is full and the tape will no longer be working for you, thank you!

10. Sun Wukong: Master, it’s cold in the sky, so wear more clothes when flying around.

11. Little Fox: You are so young, you are only two hundred and fifty years old.

Sun Wukong: I am two hundred and five, I am two hundred and five! (It seems like this)

12. Your hands are so heavy (I can’t remember this sentence)

13. Sun Wukong: He said I am not a human being

14. Senior brother, master, second senior brother and Bai Longma were captured by goblins!

Sun Wukong made a big fuss in the Heavenly Palace and attacked the Lingxiao Palace. He beat the Nine Stars and closed their doors, leaving the Four Heavenly Kings invisible. The Jade Emperor was horrified and shouted repeatedly: "Go and ask the Tathagata Buddha of the West to subdue the demon monkey!" - This should be the first business outsourced to Indians in history. In addition, Tang Monk's team is also the first Datang express company in India to support door-to-door collection.

Organized by: zhl201609