Girls’ greeting cards with humorous blessings

1. When people are in the world, they cannot control themselves; when people are in marriage, they cannot control love; when people are in officialdom, they cannot control what they say; when people are in the workplace, things cannot be controlled by themselves; when people are in the heart, blessings cannot be controlled by themselves: Friends , wish you happiness!

2. Starting from tomorrow, the city government has decided to eliminate all mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! Pack your things quickly and go out to avoid the limelight. Don't tell anyone that I informed you. Remember! No thanks!

3. In the past, Jiang Youjun was just teasing you; later, Garlic You were ruthless, and he used green onions to attack the wave; now Yingmou tricks are popular. Although prices have increased, friendship cannot be discounted. I have nothing to do and I am teasing you without any negotiation!

4. I will relieve your loneliness; I will disperse your worries; I will share your sorrows; I will help you realize your dreams. It’s not too late to be moved, hurry up and fulfill your duty: lay eggs well!

5. If the law stipulates that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. I have no regrets and will do it until death! But there is no regulation... Then forget it!

6. You said to me depressedly: You dislike me and think I have gained weight. I stared at you for a long time and said slowly and leisurely: I don't dislike you, I just dislike the extra part of you.

7. During the military training under the tree that year, the company commander said: Report the numbers! You looked at the company commander in surprise, and the company commander said loudly: Count! So you reluctantly walked to the tree and hugged the tree.

8. Today’s society is too complicated. I have asked Ping An to be your bodyguard, health to be your shield, good luck to be your assistant, happiness to be your partner, success to be your backup, and success to be your vanguard. You can go ahead with confidence. Bar!

9. The doorman was cleaning in front of a family building. Suddenly a piece of watermelon rind fell from the sky and landed on the doorman's head. The doorman looked up and sighed: Fortunately, it is a watermelon rind! Laughter came from the window: Do you want watermelon?

10. On Valentine's Day, my long-time crush sent a message: "Come to my house, there is no one!" I ran away excitedly! After knocking on the door for more than an hour, I found that there was really no one.

11. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can receive text messages, But you did it!

12. Once upon a time there were four monkeys. The first one covered his eyes and couldn't see, the second one covered his mouth and stopped talking, the third one blocked his ears and stopped listening, and the fourth one held The phone laughed!

13. On Valentine’s Day, I just want to say to you: It’s impossible that I don’t love you; it’s unreasonable that I don’t love you; I don’t miss you, and I’m even more unjust than Dou E: I If I don’t text you, I’ll be struck by lightning.

14. You and I are both angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I worked so hard to find you, and then I discovered that our wings are aligned.

15. Looking at the warm sunshine and gentle breeze outside, I can't help but think of you again. You are so special and eye-catching. Go out and run naked again!

16. A timid patient was pushed into the operating room and asked the doctor and nurse to take off their masks. The doctor said: This is the rule. Patient: Don’t lie to me. You are afraid that something will happen and I will recognize you!

17. You have a good appearance, a good figure, a good character, a good character, a good career, a good friend around you, a good life now, and there is nothing bad about you, so the abbreviation is—— Scoundrel.

18. Emergency notice: Mad cow disease is prevalent. The symptoms are as follows: dizziness after standing up from squatting, general weakness without eating. It proves that you are infected! Please go to the Mad Cow Disease Control Center for treatment as soon as possible!

19. It’s been really cold for you these two days. You must take good care of yourself and don’t freeze. As the saying goes: A man’s legs are frozen and a pig’s mouth is frozen. I've already put on my woolen pants. You should also quickly buy a mask.

20. Notice: Tomorrow morning, leaders will inspect the work. Colleagues, please dress uniformly as required. Men: suit, tie, shorts and slippers; women: swimsuit, trousers and leather shoes!

21. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village, and in autumn I harvested many handsome men.

Then I changed the name of the village to "Handsome Guy Village", and I became the village chief as I wished.

22. In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly... I really envy you, oh, sometimes I think about it, It’s good to be a pig like you!

23. Monday, discharge. Tuesday, hold hands. Wednesday, "First Kiss." Thursday, love. Friday, Beautiful Lies. Saturday, a romantic "kiss goodbye." Sunday, rotation.

24. Dumb shopped online. After the goods arrived, he called the seller angrily: The hazelnut shell is too hard and his teeth will fall out when he eats it! He also stuffed a piece of broken iron to cheat on the postage! The shop owner was angry: Is there a crack in the broken iron? These are special pliers for holding hazelnut shells!

25. Lao Kaikai’s motorcycle knocked down a pedestrian. He comforted the angry victim: "Comrade, you are so lucky. I happened to have a day off today. Usually I drive a big truck!

26. What is bright is the sun; what is red is a lantern. ; The hot one is hot pot; the fiery one is liquor; the numb one is you... I got an electric shock again, haha, I told you not to read the text message!

27. Who is chirping on the street? Zhi Gua Gua, I think the mother-in-law doesn’t care about her, so hurry up and buy a flower, crush it before going home, and sit on the bed and read comics, or I’ll take you to target practice!

28. A great blessing will come from heaven! People must first ring their bells, light up their screens, display their words, fill their hearts with blessings, make their hearts happy, raise their lips, show their smiles, and then they will be happy!

29. Dear user, according to the records of our company's automatic detection machine, we found that because you often send text messages to the opposite sex, you have caused 5,000 divorces and 10,000 lovelorn consequences. Please surrender to the police station tomorrow.

30. After parting, I miss you for three or four minutes, but for five or six hours, seven hearts are like carrying water, eight lines of writing cannot be passed down, ninety-nine longevity exists in the world, ten miles long pavilion, I love you!

31. In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the pit, fight with maggots, compete with feces, no one saves you, heroic sacrifice, great life, silent death. In memory of you, the toilet is safe

32. In class, the teacher asked: Xiaoqiang, please answer, what is the use of cuckoos? Xiaoqiang answered jokingly: Cloth can be used as clothing, grain can be used as food, and birds can provide food for everyone. Play.

33. Friendship is like trees, more trees can protect against wind and rain; family affection is like water, clear water can warm people's hearts; love is like wine, mellow wine can nourish life. I hope my friends can lie in the trees. Tasting the wine brewed from the water under the shade!

34. One day, I met you on the street. I looked at him with disdain and said, "I'm just fat. Why are you wearing a belt?" It’s cool, why not do handstands?

35. The weekend is here, and I wish you a safe and smooth life. Congratulations if you see this message. You finally learned to read text messages with pig’s trotters, Bajie!

36. Add a piece of greeting clothes for you, a pair of blessing gloves for you, a happy scarf for you, and put a smile on your face. A happy snow hat, well, it looks like a fat polar bear.

37. The summer heat has subsided, life is boring, and work is very tiring, and my body is in trouble. Precious, eat more fruits during the day and go to bed early at night. Comrade you and me, the above reminder is free

38. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every kind. Trees can endure thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can receive text messages, but you can.

39. Does it mean that my palms are itchy? It means I miss your caress; my lips are itchy. Does that mean I miss your passionate kiss? Does it itch...that means you are so dirty, why don’t you take a shower?

40. If you feel bored or empty, please call me! If you want to talk about love, please press. If you want to talk about work, please press. If you want to talk about life, please press. Please press to introduce someone to me. Please press. If you want to invite me to dinner, please speak up. If you want to borrow money from me, please hang up.

41. Pay attention, look to your left first, then to your right. Please be careful of a psychopath who has just slipped out. His characteristic is: looking around with his mobile phone.

42. I have been miserable recently. I went to clean the windows at Obama’s house and wash the dishes at Putin’s house. I finally made a dime and was not willing to give up food and clothing, so I just sent a text message to tell you: What’s going on these days? It's cold, wear more clothes!

43. With you in my life, my days are full of infinite vitality; with you along the way, I am not afraid of lightning strikes; just because of you, happiness and satisfaction are always overflowing; without you, so good Who should be fed pig food?