Joke Collection Website - Blessing messages - A spoof confession

A spoof confession

1, girl, you can follow uncle!

2. Take good care of yourself. I don't want to wait until my next life to love you.

Dear, please help me to sign the household registration book, which is in the column of spouse.

From the cost point of view, you are not the best choice. From the perspective of interests, you are my best candidate.

I tell you: first of all, I love you; Secondly, I still love you; Third, I still love you, I love you.

I am an idiot, but please believe me, I didn't mean to. Can You Ever Forgive Me? Honey.

7. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are the toothpaste, I am the brush, you are the melon vine, I am the melon, and you don't love me.

8. You are the shore, I am the boat, you are the sun, I turn around for you, and happiness only counts if you give me the whole world.

9, I see you, I am afraid of getting an electric shock; I can't see you. I need to recharge. Without you, I think I will cut off the power.

10, you know, actually, the first time I held hands with you, I decided to be your bride and lover forever in my life.

1 1. According to Maslow's demand theory, you are my most basic survival demand, and I am not in the mood to make money without you.

12, my eyes look at yours affectionately, blue as the sea, too pure to knead into a small fine sand.

13, I love you. To me, you are bread in the morning, banana in the evening, garlic in Shandong and pepper in Sichuan.

14, snowflakes are floating in the blue sky, and beautiful leather shoes leak their feet. Your acquaintance with me is a myth. Please call me back gently!

15, you came into my world like sunshine, and my life is wonderful because of you! Dear you, please accompany me to the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, ok?

16, if I really tell my guilt, I'm afraid you think I'm worthless, but if I don't tell it, I feel worthless.

17, people say: Love someone without asking for anything in return. But I want you to give it back to me and let me give you all my love in my lifetime!

18, what is romance? Knowing that she doesn't love you, I gave her 99 roses. What do you mean by waste? When you knew that she loved you, you gave her 99 roses.

19, throw the wallet tied with thin thread into the street and pull the wire in the dark. Once you come to pick up your wallet, you will suddenly drag it away!

I really want to erase you from my memory, but I can't help thinking of you: every moment in my dream and every minute when I wake up.

2 1. Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Just waiting for your words. If you agree, we will get married. If you don't agree, we will divorce.

22. If wind and rain make us less romantic, don't be disappointed. Walking hand in hand, we can still feel romantic.

23. I am the salt in your dish. Without me, everything has lost its flavor. I am your winter sun, summer popsicle and cloudy umbrella.

24, love you is like this, ok? Give me a reason why I can not love you, but you don't seem to have it. It seems impossible for me not to love you!

Meeting you and me is a kind of fate, and we cherish this hard-won feeling with each other. I hope I can accompany you on the road for the rest of my life.

26. The moment I first met you, my heart was burning, and I liked your lovely laughter. You are a gentle, quiet and aura girl.

27. Singing sad songs and looking at the beloved girl. My heart is broken for you, and the song is sung for you. I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry!

28. I sent you "I love you" by mistake. If you accept it, save it. If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.

29. Love makes us meet, love makes us fall in love, love makes us fall in love, love makes us care, and let me give you all my love in my lifetime!

30. It is because of love that I quietly avoid it. What I avoid is the figure, but what I can't avoid is the silent feelings; Today I finally got up the courage to express my love to you.

3 1. If you blink, I will die. If you blink again, I will come back to life. If you blink, I will die.

32. Lanaha, once a thief, was in front of my eyes. I didn't take it lightly. Now I regret it! I want to shout out now: love tiger oil!

I like you as people like roses. On the one hand, I like its fragrance, on the other hand, I have to accept its thorns. In other words, I will accept your advantages and disadvantages!

Recalling the days when we were together, I can't help but feel heartache. Didn't we agree not to separate? How can you leave me like this?

35. Dear Fish: I eat you because I need you; I need you because I love you; Love you, because I have you in my heart; I want to eat you when I have you in my heart. Hey ... Love your cat.

36. Over the years, I have been looking for my ideal love, but no one can touch me like you at the initial moment, and it is getting deeper and deeper.

37. Although there is no fate, I hope that in the days to come, I can add a beautiful memory to your memory, and I can make up for the affection in the afterlife through my efforts in this life.

38. I am the blackboard and you are the pen. Our combination makes words witness our vivid love; I am a relief stone and you are a chisel. Let art witness our deep love!

I don't drink any beer except Qingdao. I don't play any sports except football; I don't love any girl except you; Which dish do you like besides me?

40. Facing you, I can only stop approaching you and listen to your voice on the phone. Feelings are responsibilities, and you can't walk away. Therefore, lovers are stupid, and life is very bitter and tired.

4 1, you know, I hate you, because you stole my heart, my love and my feelings, which will occupy the rest of my life. What I hate most is that you waste a dime of my mobile phone fee!

42. I love you very much! Although you can't feel my sincerity, in my heart, you will always be the only lover! I learned to forget myself, but I can't forget you.

43. There are your favorite colors in the sky, and there are your best matching roles in reality. White clouds depend on the blue sky, and the blue sky contains white clouds, just like you and me now, how beautiful it is!

44. what Waste paper? Is that a long lyric poem I wrote, or do I propose to you ... don't you understand? Then what are you doing for your brother? He is a garbage collector. Can he read poetry?

45. According to the earliest love poem, it was written like this: You planned from Yunnan, and I started from Zhoukou, Beijing, holding your furry little hand and slowly biting your mouth, ah! It is love that makes us walk upright!

It takes a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, but it takes me a lifetime to forget you.

47. Gently put the oath on your finger. From now on, we will have a lifetime. Looking at your beautiful face tonight will be the only name in my future arms.

48. A gentle heart is for happy people! Romantic heart! It is the eternal heart of all beings, the eternal heart of those who wait, and I am willing to send a blessing heart to my dearest person!

49. Job hunting! Major: Love undergraduate course. Specialty: washing dishes and pots. Ability: I love you without saying it. Salary requirements: the heart is yours. Ideal contract period: valid for many years and never quit!

50, love you for10,000 years, exaggerated; Love you for five thousand years is hopeless; It is absurd to love you for a thousand years; Love you for a hundred years, too long; Love you for 70 years in succession, as long as I am healthy, this is my strength!

5 1, the weather changes too fast, and the cold wind comes quietly. Just eat more and sleep more, and wait for no one to go out. Don't complain that human beings are too bad, and the current market price is not lazy. Drink more water before you leave, it won't be liked by the host.

52. I tried my best to miss you, just waiting for you to appear; I spent all my time just to fall in love with you; I racked my brains to write my love for you. Love or not? At the moment, I'm waiting for your call back!

53. There is one thing you may not have noticed. The toothbrush you gave me became my gift. I will use it for the rest of my life every time, unless you give me another one.

There are countless friends today, and it is coolest to look at them. Thick lips are drunk in the autumn wind, and a big belly is more tolerant. Jade hands can cook delicacies, and wide ears respect self-help. The moon tears the Milky Way, alas, eternal beauty!

55. You stole my feelings and my heart. I decided to go to court. What should I sentence you to? After the judge searched all the records and cases, the jury unanimously passed: sentence you to accompany me for life!

56. You, you, you little leprechaun, poisoned me with your love poison but didn't give me the antidote! Little villain! Oh! I'm dying! Help me! The solution is simple: give me your love!

57. In the world of love, I have nothing and know nothing. In the emotional post, I hope you are the first visitor and the eternal master, accompanying me to spoil me; For life!

58, love you for ten thousand years, exaggerated; Love you for five thousand years is hopeless; It is absurd to love you for a thousand years; Love you for a hundred years, too long; Love you for 70 years in succession, as long as I am healthy, this is my strength!

59. You are gentle as water and beautiful as a fairy, but I have a face that needs to be beaten; You are generous and shy occasionally, but I am basically shameless; Say I love you a thousand times first, and then say I love you ten thousand times!

Dear, you always say that I love to brag, so please listen to me: "For you, I can spend nine days fishing for the moon, but I can catch turtles in five oceans!" " Because: that "moon" is you, and that "turtle" is you!

6 1, good flowers are inserted in cow dung, who said that? Tell me, I'll send my brother to cut him, don't be afraid, I'll protect you after you marry me ... Hum, which boy doesn't want to mix up, dare to say that my wife is cow dung.

62. The painter drew a huge eye for the doctor who cured his eye disease, and drew a portrait of the doctor in the middle of the pupil. The doctor looked at the picture for a long time before saying, fortunately, I am not an anal surgeon.

63. I don't have enough colors to describe your beauty, and I don't have excellent literary talent to express my affection for you, but I have a sincere heart. It beats for you, shares happiness with you and shares sorrow with you.

64. The greatest luck in life is knowing you, and the greatest misfortune is not having you. Maybe you will meet the person you love deeply, but you won't meet the second person who loves you as much as I do.

65. As long as my heart is still there, there will always be your place, and there is only one place; As long as your mobile phone is still there, there will be my infinite blessings to you, thousands of blessings. Miss you and bless you.

66. In your spare time, have a cup of tea and look up at the sky. The moon is my eyes to see you, the hazy cloud shadow beside the moon, and the screen embroidered by the weaver girl for the cowherd! Tanabata is here. Happy tanabata!

67. If it is still rainy season, I would like to go with you! If there is a sunset, I will reward you! If I had money, I would buy all roses and chocolates. I dedicate my heart and all this to you.

68. I feel more and more that you are the spirit in my life, flipping and jumping in my empty time and space. Some people say that the most beautiful things in the world are spring and love; In my eyes, the place with you is the most beautiful.

69. If it is still rainy season, I would like to go with you! If there is a sunset, I will reward you! If I had money, I would buy all roses and chocolates. I dedicate my heart and all this to you.

70. To like you is to miss you when I can't see you. Like you is to look at you stupidly when I see you. To like you is to like the tenderness in your eyes and the smile on your lips!

7 1, the house can be smaller, the furniture can be older and the electrical appliances can be less, but as long as you are there, there will be more love and intimacy, happiness and joy, and your home is a five-star hotel.

72. If I had to screen again and again, I would still be the bad guy who chose to receive short messages. Although this bad guy often bites my mouth, hits my back and drinks my sour water, I am intoxicated! Bad guys, don't be angry!

73. You are my exclusive memory, the quatrains in my poems, the sweetness I want, the temper I enjoy, the only miracle I want on Valentine's Day, and the precious memory at the end of my life.

74. My heart is split in two! Half is you! The other half is for you! Let us be like vines and trees. When necessary, one side is the tree of the other. Let's join hands and move towards a better tomorrow.

75. I look at your gentle smile. I ask myself whether this lucky person can always be around to make you laugh, and whether he is lucky enough to protect and love you all his life. The answer is, will you marry me?

76. If you believe in fate, you should admit that you have a share. When there is time, there must be distance. So, marry me! Our love is a kind of fate without time and space boundaries! The greatest hope in this life is to have you with me all my life …

77. Gentle women are gold, beautiful women are diamonds, smart women are treasures, and lovely women are famous paintings. According to my research, you should be the biggest treasure in the world, full of gold, diamonds and famous paintings.

78. I was born to smile and touch my heart. I sincerely love you all my life. I'm worried that being chased by others will make me distracted from my work. I will be very happy to see you. I will always be the most sincere to you, and I will never change my mind.

79. I think what you think; Wear clothes without styling; I don't get along with anyone; No matter where you go, you are not welcome; I can't keep up with Lenin in thinking; Don't steal if your heart is fine; Pneumonia is atypical!

80. You are my woman and I am your man. You are my heart and I am your liver; You are everything to me and I am everything to you; You are my world and I am your future. This is our lifelong oath.