Psychology

Sorry, thank you. These two sentences are common polite expressions between people. When one person causes trouble or injury to another because of his own misconduct, he often uses Sorry, especially when the trouble or injury is very minor. One person's behavior will cause a slight and almost negligible loss of interest to another person. At this time, it is appropriate for the former to express his desire to forgive himself to the latter for the purpose of preventing the other party from retaliating against himself and protecting himself. The latter usually says: it doesn't matter, which means that he won't care about such a trivial matter, for reasons such as avoiding escalation or showing his generosity. If the latter is not satisfied with the former's apology, then it is very likely that the former and the latter will gradually escalate from mutual accusation to scolding or even fighting together.

When we accept another person's help or sincere and effective advice, we can achieve our goals, realize our wishes or get in touch with our doubts. In other words, we have increased our own interests because of another person's behavior. At this time, heartfelt gratitude will naturally make us thank the latter. Usually this gratitude is expressed in words: thank you. Thanks are usually accompanied by gifts or tips. When our interests increase slightly, it's just thank you. For example, a stranger shows us the way, and someone gives you a seat on the bus.

Based on the above discussion, it can be seen that common polite expressions-thank you and I'm sorry-are the external manifestations of people's internal reaction to revenge when their own interests increase or decrease due to other people's behavior.

2. Revenge psychology and debt

A person's interests increase or decrease because of other people's behavior, which can be measured by money. Of course, it can also be said that gratitude and revenge have a price. The help of others makes you feel grateful to them, that is, their help behavior is transformed into your gratitude to them. Your gratitude turned into a kind of or your help to him. This kind of value is based on the behavior of giving or helping for the purpose of getting proper remuneration, and it can also stimulate gratitude and gratitude behavior, and finally achieve the goal. Commercial loans are the best example. The transfer of interests between people will inevitably involve revenge. The interest transfer mode between borrowers and bankers is exactly the same as that between benefactors and benefactors. However, the identity of the benefactor has become a banker, the benefactor has become a borrower, and grace has become money in reality. Money is transferred from the bank to the borrower and then from the borrower to the bank. This circulation process of money is highly connected with the circulation mode that the benefactor gives to the benefactor and then the benefactor returns to the benefactor. Why are these two models so similar and so interlinked? How to understand the relationship between the two?

Between two people, giving and returning kindness, this kind of gratitude mode is actually a general benefit transmission mode with high generality and high abstraction. Gratitude model, similar to the equation in mathematics, is suitable for any benefit transfer model between two people. Abstract favors, in reality, may correspond to money, steamed bread, water, medicine, a few words, or a look.

Hope for God's revenge.

In our traditional culture, if a person does a lot of evil, hurts a lot of people or is extremely stingy, and does not accumulate virtue and do good, then this person will be punished by God and have a bad ending in life; And if a person accumulates virtue and does good deeds, spreads them widely and helps many people, then that person will be blessed by God and have a good life ending. This is the general content of the theory of karma in our traditional culture. The theory of karma has been accepted by people and passed down from mouth to mouth. It can be widely spread because it conforms to people's observation of certain phenomena. It is not correct, it is not objective, and it can even be said to be wrong in most cases. The theory of karma has its rationality, which is reflected in people's initial understanding of revenge psychology. It is an expression of people's desire to retaliate against their enemies and be grateful to their benefactors.

When a man can't take revenge on his enemy, he hopes that God will punish his enemy. And when his enemy really encounters setbacks and bad luck, he will sigh excitedly that God really punished his enemy and sigh for himself. And when a person can't thank the benefactor, he will also hope that God will repay the benefactor and hope that the benefactor will turn evil into good again and again. And when his benefactor is really lucky and something good happens, he will sigh and help him naively and thank the benefactor.

4. Revenge is the spiritual pillar of people.

Our interests are hurt by others. When our efforts are not rewarded, our revenge will stand up and get back what we lost from those who hurt us. Revenge only occurs when people's interests are damaged. If there is no revenge, when a person loses his interests, he will not organize any behavior to stop the continued loss of interests or recover the lost interests, then his interests will become less and less until there is nothing.

The existence of revenge and revenge behavior ensures that when our own interests are lost due to the actions of others, we can organize corresponding actions to save the lost interests: using fierce words, threats, violence and so on. Let those who eat us spit it out for us and send back everything that has taken us. Although revenge-oriented behavior often violates the law, when we are extremely angry, the law can't stop our desire to retaliate against the enemy.

PS: reference content, reading notes.