What does it mean for your best friend to send a message to your uncle?

Recently, my best friend complained to me about the unhappy marriage.

I feel very sorry and distressed. In fact, one day I knew, and I advised her to break up early, but she just wouldn't listen, and now she regrets it.

Let's tell her story.

My best friend is young and beautiful, and many boys pursue her, but she has a crush on a man 10 years older than her. Call him uncle for now. I have no prejudice against older men, and besides, I am an uncle who has never been married.

Last year, my best friend took me to see my uncle. He is full of energy, well-bred, and has a good family. Generally speaking, he can get 90 points.

But I don't like my uncle's behavior.

My best friend is a careless girl who does things casually, but my uncle has many rules. While eating, my girlfriend ordered a lot of favorite dishes, but many of them were crossed out by my uncle, because he said that those fried and spicy dishes were not good for your health and could not be eaten.

After dinner, we went shopping together, and my girlfriend chose a few colorful casual clothes, which were actually pretty, and it was also my girlfriend's consistent dressing style.

But uncle shook his head and said, no, these are too ugly. You have to wear ladylike clothes. Wearing more ladylike and professional clothes is more helpful for your present job.

Then, the uncle took his girlfriend to pick out some clothes that he thought were good-looking, and her girlfriend also compromised. After all, it is the uncle who pays the bill, and what he said seems to be reasonable.

However, I feel something is wrong. This uncle is too controlling. There are so many requirements for eating and dressing. What can I do after I get married?

Then I reminded my best friend that you should think about it and make sure that you are willing to be asked by this man for a lifetime.

My best friend, carried away by love, wouldn't listen. She retorted, everything my uncle said is reasonable. He did it for my own good. If I leave him, where can I find a man who values me so much?

02

Later, they got married successfully, and I went to their wedding, which was very grand. I am relieved to see my best friend's happy face.

Unexpectedly, half a year later, she came to me, crying that she couldn't stand my uncle because he asked too much.

After getting married, uncle said to his girlfriend, "Stop working" and concentrate on pregnancy at home. My best friend's job is very good and she likes it very much. She doesn't want to give up. She tried to communicate with her uncle, but he didn't agree at all. She also said, "You can't afford a better month on your salary. You might as well quit your job and take care of the baby at home. "

My best friend was deeply hurt by this sentence.

What's more amazing is that my uncle is very filial and listens to his mother. He stipulated that he must visit two old people at his mother-in-law's house every weekend. Sometimes, my best friend wants to have a rest on weekends, or go for an outing with my uncle nearby, but my uncle always disagrees, and then there is a lot of truth: when my parents are old, I seldom see them once, so I will have plenty of time to do such things in the future.

My best friend cried and told me that there were too many such things. She regretted not taking my advice before. I thought marriage was happy, but now it's like being locked in a cage with no freedom at all.

I only have a sigh.

03

Why is a man like uncle not worth marrying?

Although he is excellent, he is not suitable for marriage. Because there are too many standards, requirements and rules in his world, it is bound to make the other half very tired.

Marriage is the combination of two people into a family, and work has made us tired enough. When we get home, we hope to have a relaxing rest. If there are more rules at home than in the company, how can you live this life?

Although uncle has his own explanation for everything, he thinks his statement is right, but in my opinion, there is no absolute right or wrong between love and marriage, it is the same thing, and different people have different views and practices.

Our lover cares more about the right or wrong of one thing or the feelings of the other half. If he cares about your true feelings and is not in a hurry to argue about right or wrong, this is his love for you.

04

In the book "Five Abilities of Love", the author said: Most people who want to control others and have a strong desire for control are hard to realize their own problems. They often need to rely on right and wrong to actually control others.

Therefore, those who only argue with you about right and wrong every day actually have a heart behind them that wants to control you. With such people, if you obey, you will be manipulated, but if you resist, they will quarrel again. So I won't be happy anyway.

A truly happy marriage must be two people living together in their own comfortable ways. As long as the lifestyle doesn't hurt each other, we should try to tolerate each other.