A funny joke.

The jokes that make people laugh are all under ten years old. The more smiles on your face, the better your mood will naturally be. The following jokes are short, but humorous. Friends can collect these jokes and share them with friends. Then let's look at these jokes that make people laugh.

A funny joke 1 1. I heard that you accidentally fell into the garbage pit this morning and couldn't get up. Just then, an old lady who picks up rags reached out and pulled you up and said, "City people are really wasteful, even if they are ugly."

Second, I think you punched Da Nanshan Nursing Home and kicked Beihai Kindergarten, and both fell down by one meter. You stomp in the morgue: stand up if you are not satisfied! Nobody dares to gasp ~ ~ ~

It is a pleasure to miss you. Nice to meet you. In order to love you, I will always do this. This is what I have been doing, keeping you in my heart. However, lying to you is something that just happened ~ ~ ~

4. Who has no shit and who doesn't use paper since ancient times? If you don't use toilet paper, are you using your fingers ~ ~ ~

Promise me that no matter what happens, you must be calm, no matter what you do, you must be firm, no matter when and where you meet, you must be optimistic and happy, and you will not tell anyone that you are crazy! ~~~

6. The farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. The rogue asked: Have you eaten? The farmer said: Eat! The rogue said: I asked the donkey! The farmer turned and slapped the donkey and said, It's dishonest to give it to Lao Zi! There are relatives in the city who left without saying goodbye! ~~~

Seven, a person always farts in the office, and colleagues can't help but say: Can you keep quiet? Then I saw him sitting there rocking. I asked, why? The man replied, I set it to vibrate! ~~~

Eight, the beggar woman has not had sex for a long time, so there is no way. She used the money she got to float the ducks, and said to her boss, I don't have much money, just call me the ugliest! After the boss agreed, he shouted loudly: dog egg! If you are reading a post, don't reply! Come and pick up the guests! ! ! ~~~

A funny joke. Jokes, text messages.

1. Once upon a time, a man named Shuang died. On the day of the funeral, his family wept bitterly. They cried and screamed at his grave. Shuang Shuang … Shuang Shuang … At this moment, passers-by asked, what are you admiring? Shuang Jia replied with tears: we are so cool …

This short message is brief and to the point. No advertising, no nonsense. Sweet words are just bubbling. Just be happy and know yourself. Happiness can't run away, so I won't say what I think. I wish you success: Happy New Year!

3. New Year's Day is coming, it is too routine to give gifts, and there is no trick to bless. I only hope that my dear friends will be harassed by the God of Wealth every day, always illuminated by Maitreya, make big money, laugh happily and run happily.

This new year message came in the heat wave that swept through! May you have Buffett's financial resources, Furong's compact figure, the social status of the five bars, the enthusiasm of grabbing the salt tide, the wealth of the imperial city, and the same happiness as the longer the house price!

One day, a death row prisoner was being shot, but because of the quality of the bullet, the bailiff missed the first shot, the second shot and the third shot. When the bailiff was about to fire the fourth shot, the prisoner suddenly turned around and hugged the bailiff's leg, crying and shouting: Brother, you can strangle me, which is really fucking scary …

6, train students to nourish the eight-character decision, saying: Voss is going to become a monk, is going to become a monk. Read aloud five times on the balcony every morning, and you will be alert and have an appetite. For the sake of your health, you must persist!

7. I wish you a "super guerrilla" in the new year: you can survive when you encounter difficulties. The longer you grow, the more you look like a white-faced scholar. Your speech can be full of fun. Worry makes it barren. Happiness makes it this life. Wish you a happy life!

8. This sincere, sincere message, one in a hundred, trudged all the way from thousands of miles away and finally got into your mobile phone, bringing you my deep affection-Happy New Year's Day! Don't forget, my friend

9. When buying clothes, the salesman (contemptuously): This dress is very expensive. Don't touch it unless you buy it. Jane Doyle: It seems that you are rich? Don't sell it if you have money!

10, Spring Festival, Tang Priest added a cotton gown, Wukong added cotton trousers, Friar Sand added a cotton cap, Bajie, your little hand, don't just play with your mobile phone to read text messages, remember to buy a small glove.

1 1. Laugh happily every day, live happily, feel better, and good luck will come. Happiness will naturally knock on the door, so the mentality is the most important. In the new year, I will send a short message to make you laugh happily!

12, Fengtian Freight, the emperor said: Mindful of Ai Qing's loyalty and hard work, I specially gave Ai Qing the right to shop for free. How to get it: Take this short message to a nearby shopping mall and choose whatever you need. It would be nice if he gave you everything. If he doesn't pick it up, he will run. Qin this! Note: The final interpretation right of this message belongs to me.

13, I made a wish on New Year's Day: I want to wash my feet for good luck, rub my back for good luck, bring me tea for happiness, and pour me water for good luck. The best part is that I don't know the east, the west and the north. Finally, I wish this person who reads the information as dizzy as me a happy New Year!

14 How are you? I think you ... have always dreamed of walking with you on that grass recently. If there is still a chance, just say weakly: only eat grass, not defecate anywhere!

15, an ugly monkey went to a matchmaking agency to find someone, and the boss said it was expensive. The ugly monkey said it was cheap and the boss said it was stupid. The ugly monkey said it doesn't matter, so the boss shouted at the window → Fool, don't read the message, come out on a blind date.

16 I will send a short message worth 10 RMB to all the handsome and beautiful brothers and sisters who have a certain position in my heart. I'll invite you to a five-star hotel tomorrow ... and watch others eat! Please bring your own napkin so as not to get wet with saliva. I wish you all a happy face and a good journey!

17, life is your welfare home, relaxation is your massage room, happiness is your base camp, happiness is that you meet Uncle Benshan every day, work is someone else's work, you get the money, and the surprise is my message to wish you a happy New Year!

18. Yesterday, I was lucky enough to meet this old gentleman in the palace and gave me an elixir. Now I'm in a hurry, but something terrible happened immediately: I can see many monsters every day, and the important thing is that I actually found you ... slacker.

19, I am a kind person and keep a low profile. New Year's Day is coming, and I'm afraid I can't squeeze into the fast lane of blessing you, so I wish you a happy New Year!

Forgive me for keeping silent at this inappropriate moment. Apart from harassment, I may really be unable to dig out any deep meaning. If you wake up accidentally, remind you to cover the quilt and turn off your cell phone when you sleep again!

2 1, Ling has been back in Jinggangshan for a long time. Birds are singing and dancing everywhere, and monkeys are climbing trees. A closer look shows that orangutans can dance. Watch it again: Dude, I finally found you, so I stole food here!

22. Want to "miss": One day, after three boring Chinese classes in a row, the teacher refused to leave. Finally Bao couldn't help shouting, "I have to pee!" " The teacher was furious: How dare you shamelessly ask for "Miss" in my class!

23. My colleague: You have so many pimples on your face that the tractor will roll over when it is driven! Me: If the pimples on my face are as few as the hair on your head, I will be satisfied!

24. streaking is an outdoor sport that improvises courage, speed and figure, regardless of venue and gender. This sport originated in Europe and the United States, and has generated many fans in China in recent years. Recently, boys in Hangzhou streaked to protest against the school power failure, and photos were printed on T-shirts for sale, making them as famous as Zeng Ge and leading the new fashion of streaking. Weak asked: Today, did you run naked?

25. If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smarter, then you may have to eat at least one pair of whales. ...

26. One day, Xiao Qiang ate too much and walked too fast, and met a beautiful girl. Xiao Qiang was about to apologize, but his stomach was complaining and spit out a thread. The beautiful girl looked at Xiao Qiang and asked angrily, Am I so disgusting?

27. When New Year's Day arrives, I will give you a grapefruit, a durian and a banana. I wish all the immortals bless you in the new year, and good luck will never leave durian to you. The horizon of happiness will always be with your banana!

28. Sorry, my dear friend. I want to send you a long and sensational holiday blessing, but I can't sleep all night, racking my brains and being utterly confused ... I still think my blessing to you can't be expressed in words. That's it. Please treat me to dinner on New Year's Day. Let me tell you something!

29. It is said that texting has four states: emotional catharsis; Make a mountain out of a molehill; Idle harassment; Sincere blessing. I am the last one, I wish you happiness, health, peace and happiness in the new year!

30.20 14 years of life "new requirements": clothes should be new, vegetables should be fresh, lovers should be trendy, houses should be built, and wishes should be new. May you feel happy and happy every day!

3 1, distance is not a problem, height does not matter, beauty and ugliness never care. No matter where you hide, I will depend on you to pester you. My name is happiness, and my nickname is peace. Happy new year!

32. When is the final exam? When will the test results come out after the exam? What grade is this school year? Did you find a good job? How much is the year-end bonus? Do you have a girlfriend? Did mom force you to have a blind date? Have you weighed yourself? Oh, honey. All right. Stop talking. Happy new year!

33. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet.

34. I don't usually send text messages to people easily. The person who received my message must be someone who is in conflict with * *, or someone who loves each other. So, kowtow three times, and stand up after three hooves! The New Year in China is coming, so I wish you a happy New Year. Nothing else, just miss you. Please stand down!

35. New Year's Day is coming. I hope you will say to your troubles in the new year: Go; Heart to heart: stay; Say to bad luck: get out; Say to good luck: come; Say to failure: bah; Say to success: top; Wish you 20 15, great!