Please give me some funny text messages for the Spring Festival! !

In those days, we walked quietly on the path in our hometown, and you lowered your head shyly. When the villagers saw us, they all praised you: Hey, you are beautiful and clean! He also praised me: What a good boy, he came out to herd pigs at such a young age!

02. Dear, do you know? You have lost a lot of weight recently! I see it in my eyes, but it hurts in my heart. The New Year is about to come, but your body is worrying... Who doesn’t want to kill a few more pounds of pigs?

03. The moment I made up my mind to leave, your helpless crying and heart-rending pain behind me made me instantly understand how much I love you, and I suddenly turned around and cried. Holding you tight: I won’t sell this pig!

04. A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: What if I can see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pigs are watching, the pigs are watching! The pig is still watching! Why are the pigs still watching? !

05. The wolf is coming and the pig’s nest is in chaos. Mother Pig arranges for the big pig to block the door! Erzhu, go block the window! When she saw the little pig, the mother pig got angry and shouted: Third child, stop reading the text messages! You have a lot of meat, go out and lure the wolf away.

06. Are you crying? Are you stupid? Are your happy days gone? I warned you not to be greedy and sleepy, but you just didn’t listen. Now you should remember that pigs will be slaughtered when they reach a certain size.

07. Not every flower can represent love, but roses can; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars can; not every pig can receive text messages, But you did it

08. The tortoise and the hare are racing, and the pig is the judge. Do you think the tortoise or the hare is faster?

09. There will be a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that a big pig will fly over the sky. It’s a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine. There are so many people watching you fly!

10. Please touch your red and tender face first, and then touch your belly! good! This concludes this pig raising knowledge lecture, see you tomorrow!

11. A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? You don’t know? By the way, the pig doesn’t know either!

12. When Tang Seng took his three apprentices to take a break, Tang Seng looked at Zhu Bajie and said angrily: "You pig head, you actually have the leisure to read text messages!"

Portrait of your life: You can take a bath at the age of ten - pig self-care, you can dress up at the age of twenty - pig Shimao, you can work at thirty - pig establish a career, you have a servant at forty - pig has a servant, you can shoot a basketball at fifty - Pig Tou

I don’t want to be your parallel line, and I can only watch you from a distance throughout my life; I don’t want to be your intersection line, and go further and further away after a moment of tenderness; I only want to have sex with you * is a straight line, you go forward and I drive you into the pigsty!

The north wind starts to blow again, you are always so careless, I remind you to wear more clothes every time, but You always answer me with disdain like this: What do I do with such thick pig skin? Are you still afraid of that little wind?

The sun has risen, the worries are over, and I am full of energy. You will have a wonderful day today, okay! Get out of the nest! Shake the pig's hair, wash the pig's face, and work hard for feed!

Tea should be drunk until the fragrance is lingering; the road should be difficult to walk until the bitterness is over; people should have deep feelings, so that they can love again in the next life; pig's trotters should be fresh, Huh? This one with the mobile phone is not bad!

In the past, I only knew that piggy couldn’t speak, so it only hummed. But then I met you, and I realized that you can hum better than piggy. I was talking about you, but you still hummed!

A pig and a penguin were kept in a cold storage at -20°C. The penguin died the next day, but the pig was fine. Why? you do not know? By the way, pigs don’t know either!

. Baby Pig’s Aike: You have to congratulate me. First of all, if you have a pig's culture, education, and literacy, you can understand your text messages.

It’s the pig’s reading, according to what the pigs in the world are saying

Waiting for a subway, five minutes; watching a movie, three hours; watching the moon waxing and waning, a month; missing someone, a lifetime !But a word of concern only takes a few seconds: It’s cold, put some more grass in the nest!

Read it in Sichuan dialect: Daiyi crosses the black area, mom area is low at night, the head orchid and the tiger jump Come to the canal, throw Li on the ground, but risk you, because Moss does not risk you? Because it has four spindles, it can't live in the building!

A little pig, About to be slaughtered. The butcher came to catch it viciously. But Xiaozhu said impassionedly, "Don't be afraid of death. Wait until I finish reading this text message." Haha

God did not give the pigs wisdom because he wanted them to be happy. Therefore, you must be happy.

Are you worried about being as fat as a pig? Is it sinful to be as lazy as a pig? Is it pitiful to be as stupid as a pig? Of course not, you are a pig! Whatever you want to do, do it!

You were in a duel with a wild boar and got kicked in the head. The wild boar said: Grandma! Domestic pigs still want to fight wild boars and seek death!

It turns out that I have been really in love for a long time, and I have fallen in love with you! But I am afraid that one day you will leave me. Why can’t you cherish this fate after making a true choice? I want to be together forever, but The police uncle said that pigs are not allowed to be raised in the city!

One day, Bajie asked Tang Seng: Master, am I really the ugliest in the world? Tang Seng looked troubled and said: You go ask Sister Guanyin! Bajie started from Guanyin came back and asked cheerfully: Haha, master, who is ##? Haha!

It was late at night, and the little pig cried sadly. The mother asked: Why are you crying? The little pig said: I feel stupid. My mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

Guess the lantern riddle: You are standing with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant

A pair of lovers together is called Qingqingwomei, a couple together is called Yongjietongxin, but you are simple, you and a pig are called Shuangcheng. right.

When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth, and blessed ears, you can’t help but sigh out loud———— Pig!

You went to the supermarket to buy a tube of toothpaste and left. The cashier looked at your background and sighed: The world has changed, and pigs have evolved to brush their teeth!

They say pigs are lazy, but I don’t think so. At least now, I find a pig reading text messages.

Since ancient times, a mathematical equation has been eternally correct: A=B, B=C, so A=C, you=animal, animal=pig, so you=pig.

New signs in the animal world: ants raped African elephants, lions sold spicy hotpot, rats had sex with snakes, sharks and donkeys went to shopping malls, and piglets were even crazier, pretending to be hooligans with a mobile phone, hey, As for you, you still read the demo!

That day I called you a pig, and you said, "I am a pig." From then on, I called you a pig. Finally, you couldn't bear it anymore and shouted to me in front of many people, "I am a pig." It’s weird if it’s not a pig”!

If you receive this message, you are a chubby pink pig; if you delete this message, you are a small African black pig; if you reply to this message, you are a Rwandan wild boar; if you do not reply, you are a Ukrainian large white pig; if you save it, you are an American pig. Perverted pig, hey, let’s see what you do

Sunrise + sunset = morning and evening, moon + stars = infinite longing for wind flowers + snowy moon = tenderness and sweet shooting stars + heartfelt wishes = thousands of blessings for you + Charcoal fire = fragrant suckling pig

Weird thing, really weird thing! Last time I accidentally spilled half a pot of boiling water on your hand and you said it was fine and it didn't hurt at all! Later, I looked up proverbs and found out that a dead pig is not afraid of boiling water!

The cobra is highly short-sighted. After being polite with the elephant on their first date, the cobra said to the elephant's trunk: Come on, you are too polite to bring such a big pig.

Let me ask again, is this pig called ##?

You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I am smiling because you are strong, and I am rich because of you. Sold...the pig!

I have always been by your side and worried about you again and again. Have you had enough to eat today? Did you sleep well? Will it be cold late at night? I've always known that you just can't take care of yourself. Whenever I walk away, you jump out of the pig pen.

I have always had a soft spot for you, your face appears in front of my eyes all the time! But I was too poor to hope for it, but now I am rich! You can say loudly: Boss, cut that pig head in half for me!

How can I bear to watch you leave? We have spent so many warm and happy times together, but today we are breaking up! Looking at your sad eyes, I shouted: Wait a minute, I won’t sell this pig anymore

I miss you day after day, and I still haven’t changed when I am lonely. When will the beautiful dream come true? Appear! My dear, I really want to see you! But I just can’t find you living in that pigsty! A dead pig has a bad sleeping position and falls asleep again.

There are six kinds of pigs in the world. Those raised at home are called domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars, those who read messages are called stupid pigs, those who are laughing are stupid pigs, and those who are angry are stupid pigs. Ignore me. Those who don’t reply are worse than pigs~~~

The weather changes for free, be careful of catching a cold, and I would like to express my concern for you again: the first is to take off your clothes; the second is to stay late; the third is to give cold drinks ; The four precepts are picky eaters; the five precepts are cold baths; the six precepts are drunkenness; the seven precepts are to wear quilts; the eight precepts are, do you understand?

If autumn is gone, I will wait for you in the snow. If the world is gone, I will love you in heaven. If you leave, I will miss you in tears; if I leave, I will let him take care of you. His pig-raising skills are not bad, really.

The intermittent rain makes me think endlessly. , To put it bluntly, I just miss you. When the weather is nice and sunny, I will take you to that meadow, but I have agreed in advance: the pigs are only allowed to eat grass and are not allowed to squat on the ground!

I have countless friends in the past, and I want to come here. You are the coolest person when I want to go. I have searched for you thousands of times in my dreams. When I look back suddenly, you are still in my pig shed, eating grass and leaning against the tree. Your tail can’t stop swaying. It turns out you are chewing on my tree. Damn it!

When I met you by chance, I was so flustered that I didn’t know what to do. I can't avoid your loving eyes. I understand your heart. I ran away desperately but you followed me closely. I cried: "Whose pigs are so hungry?"

I haven’t heard from you for a long time

I have been missing you these past two days

I feel very confused

Looking for your favorite pond

The dining hut

The sleeping lawn

Still missing you

My heart is almost broken

......

Why did I lose such a big pig?

My friend We said we would never be happy together

They advised me to give up on you and leave you

But I really like you and can’t bear to leave you

I fell out with them over this

Why?

They were allowed to raise dogs, but I was not allowed to raise pigs

I used to be just an ordinary knight. Until I met you, the most mysterious person in the world, and called your name out of nowhere. From then on, I became the "Pig-Knowing Man" respected by everyone in the world.

Little Piggy is amazing, I sleep until ten o'clock every day, eat five bowls every time, and no one dares to weigh me. I want to ask where is the little pig? Smirking and reading text messages.

The king asked for 100 pigs, but the minister only brought 99. The king said: "There is 1 more pig"? The minister said: "There is 1 more pig."

I want to tell you what I mean when you are happiest. In the warm and romantic New Year, the opportunity finally comes - you are like a pig when you are happy, and more like a pig when you are angry. Happy New Year, Pig!

I spend my days like this: playing ball with Jordan, boxing with Tyson, playing chess with Wei Ping, chatting about scandals with Clinton, blowing up buildings with Bin Laden, and giving hair to pigs. Short message.

Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplar does; not every pig can receive text messages, but you Did it!

There is a meteor shower tonight, and I heard that there will be a big pig flying across the sky. It’s a pity that I have to go to bed, and you will be fine. There are so many people watching you fly!

Those raised at home are domestic pigs, those born in the mountains are called wild boars. Those who read this message are stupid pigs. Those who are laughing are stupid pigs, those who are angry are fat pigs, and those who ignore me are dead. Pigs, those who don’t reply are worse than pigs.

The moment I cruelly turned around and left, you cried helplessly behind me. The heartbreaking pain made me realize in an instant how much I love you. I turned around and hugged you: This pig is not for sale!

I just saw you in the supermarket! You reach out to the barcode scanner, and the screen displays: Pig's trotters are 8 yuan. You thought the machine was broken, so you turned your face over to take a look. The screen showed pork head meat for 5 yuan!

You are the best. I start to miss you again. I am no longer angry with you. And I feel that my love for you is getting deeper every day. That’s because someone told me...the price of pork has increased. , you can buy it at a good price!

Let me ask you a riddle: There are two drops of water on the pig's butt. Name a song... Can't you guess it? It's flowing. Tears on your face.

I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and stay with me day and night, you know? Through these days of interaction, I found that I can no longer live without you, but my mother refused. She said: Pigs are not allowed to be raised at home!

You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, I saw the pig abandoning you with disdain.

Life is so tiring! You have to queue up to get on the bus, unrequited love is really painful, eating has no flavor, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is very tiring, you can’t rob, you have to pay taxes to earn money, and even sending a text message to Xiaozhu has to be charged~!

Busy? It's okay, I just want to tell you in a way that doesn't disturb you, I'm thinking of you! I hope that when you receive this text message, you will smile at the corner of your mouth, arch your nose, and hum twice to let other pigs know that the owner likes you the most!

A bean fell down and became discouraged and depressed. This bean is me, what can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "Pig Encouragement Beans".

The little pig cried sadly. Mom asked: Why are you crying? Piggy said: I feel stupid. His mother comforted him: Son, don’t cry, the person reading this text message is stupider than you!

The light rain is floating in the sky, as if you are laughing at my insanity. Why are you so selfish and cruel, making me miss you in vain? I racked my brains and wrote poems full of heartache. Who knew that only pig heads and idiots were staring at this poem on their mobile phones?

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Every time the wind and rain are severe, I am the one who cares for you. When there is famine, I will bring you food. Your honest and honest expression makes me excited. In fact, raising a pig is quite a sense of accomplishment!

In this warm and romantic day, a little pig hides in the house and draws his eggs, which are round and round. Pig, happy round eggs!

Preservation of party members: If you don’t drink the party’s wine for a day, you don’t know how to follow the route. If you don’t eat the party’s food for a day, you don’t know how to work. Smoke. I don’t know how to sign my name.

Difficulties in keeping fresh education: criticizing superiors for being difficult to maintain official positions; criticizing peers for being difficult to maintain; criticizing oneself for looking for trouble; criticizing subordinates for reducing votes; criticizing husbands for messing around; criticizing children for having no one to care for them in old age. This situation What should we do?

It is said that a blind man told fortunes very accurately. The crowd brought a shaved pig for him to tell fortunes. The blind man was overjoyed after touching it and said: "His hips are wide and his belly is round. He is a contemporary party member with a big face and eyes." Xiao, he is a leader, the skin is tender and the meat is being kept fresh!

Answer: Please with a smile - Doorman Level 2 2-7 12:24

Where are you on the Baidu page? Write funny Spring Festival text messages, there are a lot of them, take a look for yourself. ☆ If you feel happy, wave your hands, if you feel happy, stamp your feet, if you feel happy, shake your head.

Happy New Year, Madman!

☆ The sea is full of water, spiders are full of legs, and chili peppers are so spicy. I don’t regret knowing you. I wish you a happy new year and may you smile from ear to ear every day!