Find classic quotations, be funny, and strive for classic points. The bonus points are very high. The first 5 points are just bait, hehe ... looking for big fish. ...

1, what's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank? 2, I want to puppy love, but it's already late ... 3, my God! My clothes have lost weight again. The realistic society ruined my chance to be a good person! Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok? 6. I thought I was decadent, but I was scrapped! 7, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me! 8. I love you What do you care? 9. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat? 10, sleeping is an art, and no one can stop my pursuit of art 1 1, I have a good background, and I only have a back. 12. In reality, people tell lies with their real names, while on the Internet, people tell the truth with pseudonyms. 13, live well, because we will die for a long time. 14. If you ignore me, I will become a dog ... 15. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you? 16, isn't steamed bread for breathing? 17, nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship. 18, most people only do three things in their lives: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied by others. 19, don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you! 20, women please themselves, men pity to please themselves! The mirror will always reflect the light ... the gold will always be spent! 22, take the road of others, let others have no way to go! 23. Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"? 24, you can not study hard, but you must not review well! 25. Pain is something that only sober people can enjoy ... 26. I am Jesus, his son-Coconut! 27. University is learning! 28. I can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night! 29. I am the most honest person and never lie. (except this sentence. Don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that you must have a brain. 3 1, your ugliness has nothing to do with your face Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart a long time ago. 33. Why do you need to sleep for a long time to live? You will fall asleep after death. 34, the sky is falling, you hold it, I hold it, hehe ... 35, the pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke! 36. After studying for more than ten years, it is better to mix in kindergarten! I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you. 38, the leaves leave, because of the pursuit of the wind or the tree does not retain? 39. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes! 40. What can I do to kill your lover ... 4 1. If you look like a steamed stuffed bun, don't blame the dog for following you. I won't tell you if I kill you. 44. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves ... 45. Give me a little sunshine and I will rot. 46. I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in the Jianghu! 47. There are three kinds of things that hurt people: annoyance, quarrel and empty wallet. The most hurtful thing is an empty wallet. 48. The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for comes, followed by the wolf! 49. Students who study "almost": poor learning and low scores. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry! 5 1, I not only have a car, but also work by myself ... 52. Growing up means you know what it is; The so-called maturity is that you deliberately say you don't know after you know it. 53. Bathing is a blessing to the ass and a pain to the head; Watching movies is a blessing on the head and a pain on the ass, but listening to you is a pain on the head and a pain on the ass. 54. How to keep fit? Overeating! 55.look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes. 56. Summer is not good. When you are poor, you don't even have to drink the northwest wind ... 57. You will never attract wolves by singing, really-you will only scare them away. 58. I am different from you because I am human. 59. Chatting is valuable, and the internet fee is higher. If you are sleeping, you can throw them both. 60. I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even one 16 hours' sleep! 6 1, God deceived everyone, because hell is the most beautiful! The Buddha knew the truth, so the Buddha said, "If I don't go to hell, who will?" 62. When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a rifle made in Hanyang and an American submachine gun. It is unwise to argue with a woman, whether she is wise or not. 64. When people do good deeds, they always want ghosts and gods to know. They have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We are too embarrassed. 65. My girlfriend asked me what would happen to me if she died. I said firmly: I won't live alone (find another job)! She is so happy! 66. Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature. We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep. 68. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead? 69. Chopin of Niu B can't play the sadness of Lao Zi! 70. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? 7 1, it is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years! 72. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time! 73. If you fall, get up and cry! After all, I couldn't catch up with that BMW, so I had to watch it die in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off. 75. My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it". 76. I argued with MM about whether a whale is a fish. Finally, I said, "I also have a personal word." She agreed that a whale is not a fish. 77. "What is an optimist?" "This ..... is like a teapot, with a red ass and the mood to whistle!" 78. I am like a fly lying on the glass. The future is bright, but there is no way out! 79. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me! 80. I really don't understand that girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes to attract boys' attention, but what boys want to see is girls without clothes. 8 1, when I was a child, I often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat. 82. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me ... 83. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good driver. 84. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students. 85. I only hate two kinds of people: 1, people who hate teachers; 2. teacher; 3. I don't know the number. 86. The Internet is like a prison. I stole a wallet to come in, and I'll know everything when I go out! 87. Looking at beautiful women in the street is appreciation if you look up, and hooligans if you look down. 88. When I was a child, my family was poor and I had no money to buy a bike. I have to go to school by taxi every day. When I was in junior high school, because my grades were too outstanding, the school leaders made me study for two more years; After graduating from junior high school, the high school principal thought I had a future and overcharged me by 30 thousand; In the third year of senior high school, the class teacher thought I had the ability to survive independently and dropped out of school.

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