Urgent for super funny text messages! ! ! Girlfriend is angry. ...

1 If you love me, please read this message. Since you read this message, I know you love me!

Picking up the phone countless times, wasting calling cards countless times. Why do I always call? Because I love you.

You like me when you receive this message, and you secretly love me when you delete it. If you reply to the message, you just want to marry me. If you don't, you promise to marry me. If it is modified, it will be mine, and if it is saved, it will be my life! It's up to you

I dreamed of you last night: we walked by the river and snuggled together. You looked up at my eyes and spit out three words affectionately ... woof woof woof.

I can't promise you anything, but I will do it. If one day you feel hungry, then you will smile and see that I have starved to death in your arms.

Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? ——————————— Stop dreaming, wash your feet and sleep!

7 female: "What do you think is cute about me?"

Man: "You are special."

Woman: "How special?"

Man: "Of all the men in the world, you only love me!" " "

A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes-lion shit is better than bear shit!

9. You always fart in the office, and colleagues can't help asking if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

10, it is said that you are cruel. You have occupied four seats opposite the theater. When someone calls you up, you only hum twice. The security guard came over and said that friends are cruel enough. Where are you? You gnashed your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

1 1. Dear users, at this time, we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the Palestinian national liberation cause. Therefore, the Palestinian self-government has decided to give you a lofty title in the name of the whole Arab world: Ben Shalebaki!

12. Two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to take them to a remote mountainous area for consumption. When they bought a 15 candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7 pieces.

13, one day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

14, there are two sentences I've always wanted to say to you, and I finally got up my courage today: the first sentence, I love you and I like you very much; The second sentence, never take the first sentence seriously.

15, psychological test:

If you think you have a high IQ, just press it.

I think it's quite humorous. Press it.

I find it quite attractive. Press it.

Press if you feel handsome.

Test results:

Quite shameless

16, Doctor: "Why can't I find my pen?" I want to write you a prescription. "The patient whispered," doctor, didn't you put it under my arm? "

17, a drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

18, the prisoner was shot. The first shot didn't go off because of the poor quality of the bullet, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, eldest brother, you strangled me! It's fucking horrible. .....

19 I changed my job and now I work in a bank, not far from you. Come to me when you have time, call my name at the bank, and I'll know! I changed my name. That's too vulgar. My name is Qiang Jie now.

Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest one day. He said, "I'm Liu Hongtao." The foreign guest said, "I'm still Fang Qi!" !

2 1 Please read aloud: smell the flowers when lying on the plum tree, and hate when lying on the branch. Invited to smell the wet rubble lying in the spring green. ?

Prank message

1. You ask him, "What is three points of water plus one point?"

He thought for a moment and said, "Not sure, Lai?"

You asked again, "How about adding three drops of water?"

He might say, "... what word? Is there such a word? Going? "

In fact, it should be "law" ......

2. Read Wang Shuo's novels. The game in Half Flame, Half Seawater is very interesting. The one with the coin in his hand and answering the question.

Is there a number greater than 1? The other party said yes.

Again, is there anything larger than 10? The other party said yes.

Until 100000-

Finally, do you ask a fool more stupid than you? The other party is very alert to say "no"!

3.a: Besides people, what animal likes to ask "why"?

I don't know.

A: It's a pig!

B: Why?

Ha! ! !

4. Is the English spelling of 4.pig PUG?

-No, it's a pig

No, how do I remember it was you?

-You're mistaken. It's me.

-Pig, it's you

-Pig, it's me

The man asked, "May I kiss you?"

The woman did not answer.

The man asked again, "Can you let me kiss you?"

The woman still doesn't answer.

The man is angry: "Hey, are you deaf?" "

The woman cried and said, "Are you dead?"

5. Solve the riddle on the lantern: You stand with the pig. (Hit an animal) Answer: Elephant.

6. One day, Bajie asked the Tang Priest: Master, is this world really the ugliest for me? The Tang Priest turned pale and said, Ask Sister Guanyin! When Bajie came back from Guanyin, he asked cheerfully, Hehe, Master, who is XXX? Ha ha!