The correct way to deal with a breakup

The correct way to deal with a breakup

The correct way to deal with a breakup. Breaking up in a relationship is undoubtedly a heavy and tragic blow to everyone. Between lovers Although separation and reunion are normal, not all love has a happy ending. The following shares the correct way to deal with a breakup. The correct way to deal with a breakup 1

1. Deliberately please the other party and beg the other party not to leave

After a breakup, many women will lower their worth and like to please. The other party begged the other party not to leave,

But if you go to the other party crying like this all day long, anyone else would be disgusted.

And seeing you like this, I feel in my heart that leaving you is the right choice.

So since the other person chooses to leave us, although it is painful, you must choose to face it with strength.

Because this person is not your true love in the end,

They are just passers-by in your life, they just teach you some things.

Deliberately trying to please will only make your own worth lower and lower.

So only accepting it silently and leaving bravely will impress others.

2. Keep harassing the other person

After breaking up, our hearts are actually very sad and heavy.

Many people cannot accept that they still miss each other for a while. Because you are looking for the other person, you can't help but look for the other person.

If you don’t reply to text messages, you will keep calling them on the phone. In fact, doing this will make men very disgusted.

I will even hate you even more, so we must stop this kind of internal friction.

As long as we have a clear conscience and try our best,

Love is not a matter of one person, only two people must like each other to achieve it** *knowledge.

So there is no sweetness in being forced. Since the other party chooses to leave us, there is no need to struggle with it.

3. Don’t care

After a breakup, many people say they don’t care at all,

But at night, a person still can’t bear it Live to think about and miss each other.

I want to explore his new life from his clues.

Doing this will only make yourself fall into a more sad state.

I don’t have time to miss these, so it is better to do some meaningful things to enrich myself.

Live your life beautifully, take care of yourself beautifully, and men with excellent temperament will come to you.

So after breaking up, we should not care about it, otherwise we will just It will make yourself embarrassed and painful.

4. Don’t slander

Many people will say bad things about each other after breaking up. In terms of language,

In fact, by doing so, we are doing the same to ourselves. A sign of disrespect.

When we tell others, they will reach the other person’s ears.

In the end, the two people are not lovers but enemies. This kind of rhetoric is often very ridiculous.

After all, two people fall in love, and there is no need to end up in a fight that ends in a fight that will hurt both parties.

So since they are separated, they should bless each other and don’t deliberately slander them, otherwise they will only make themselves miserable. Embarrassing. The correct way to deal with the situation after a breakup 2

1. Pay attention to maintaining the dignity of both parties when breaking up

It is inevitable to be emotional when breaking up, so you must prevent yourself from hurting others with your words in advance - maintain the dignity of your lover, and also protect your love. own dignity. "I don't love you anymore." - It's okay to say it this way, but it can also be said tactfully and not necessarily without reservation. If you secretly feel that your lover is terrible in bed, it's best not to say anything about it. Don't take all the blame when breaking up, because such a general explanation is disingenuous and disrespectful.

John Portman, a philosopher at the University of Virginia in the United States, said that you have an obligation to maintain the other person's self-esteem and not to hurt the other person, so as not to make it difficult for them to start new relationships in the future.

You should give your lover a frank explanation, even if it is a short sentence, telling the other person why you cannot continue. Reliving the good times you spent together and expressing your disappointment that each other's visions were not realized can express your affirmation of the other person's inherent value.

Roy Baumeister, a psychologist at Florida State University in the United States, suggested that when breaking up, it is best to say "you are not the person I am looking for". This can express clearly without implying that the other party is interested. Errors or defects.

2. Don’t force the other person to break up first

If during the relationship, you find that your values ????are very different, or your life directions are completely opposite, or you feel that you no longer love each other. , please do not stimulate your lover and force the other party to break up. Passing the buck is cunning villainy and will only create confusion. These manipulation tactics include always answering the other person's questions with only one or two words to force the other person to become angry.

Your lover may not know that you want to break up, so he will examine himself: Am I worthless? Am I not attractive? This may make them doubt the loyalty of others, which may affect future relationships.

3. The breakup should be proposed face-to-face

Face-to-face communication can provide a comforting function. We can experience many non-verbal cues that let us know that we are actually worthy of love, such as patting the other person on the arm and saying that you are still a good person. Any way of breaking up other than face-to-face means: "You don't matter."

Some people who take the initiative to break up may think that breaking up by sending emails, text messages or even leaving messages on social networking sites is no better than breaking up in person. So cruel. But this mode of remote sending will actually leave psychological trauma on the other party - when you don't get any explanation, you will spend a lot of time thinking about what you did wrong, and these hard thoughts may cause depression.

John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago, said that without direct contact, falling out of love will be particularly painful. This will also create obstacles for the other person's future love, preventing them from investing in new relationships.

4. Avoid arguments and retaliation

If you estimate that the other party will overreact, do not argue endlessly. Personal safety always comes first. Moreover, arguments cannot reach an agreement. For example, the other party always disagrees with your reasons for breaking up. Arguing back and forth will only lead to quarrels. If you can't convince the other person, it may drag you back into a bad relationship that you want to end. Be even more careful not to plot revenge, as this not only wastes energy but also makes you think more about your ex-lover, thereby delaying your recovery. The correct way to deal with a breakup 3

The state of the breakup

The first step is painful

He is just impulsive and he will come back to me

"Let's break up!" - He has said this clearly and clearly, but you are still trying to analyze whether there is any other meaning in this sentence. He left behind something he had used. Is there any hint in this? You carefully recall every move and word he made, always wanting to prove one thing: he will come back. You wait for him sadly but full of hope. As soon as there are footsteps in the corridor or the phone rings, you will nervously think: is he back?

Self-denial is the most painful spirit of human beings. trauma. Falling out of love means denying past emotions and creating gaps in the future, so falling out of love brings you deep hurt. You refuse to accept certain facts because, subconsciously, you are not ready to accept the blow.

Step 2: Embarrassing

Why is there still light in his house?

This time you are sure that he is really gone and will never look back. But you think it is impossible for him to have forgotten you, and he has no right to live happily when you are in pain, so you keep calling him and sending text messages. In the end, he ignores you, and even you will At the door of his house, he stood under the window and looked at their house. If their house had lights, he would also ask why there were lights. In fact, at this time, you need to vent yourself to your heart's content. You can sing karaoke or get drunk.

You can't accept the fact that he left you, so you put all your energy into trying to "catch" him.

But you can't take anyone as your own, so the end of this entanglement is definitely harmful to you. You should clearly realize that he has the right to have his own life and you have no right to interfere. If you don't respect this, the last thing you lose is your own dignity.

Step 3: Anger

Bastard, he is a complete bastard

He finally has a new love, but you can't Believe me, how dare he treat you like this? You no longer shed tears, but you are trembling with anger. He has gone too far! At this time, you have only one purpose: to retaliate in kind. Seduce another person, or you say to him contemptuously: "Actually, you have never made me happy!" When no one is around, smash his car window glass, make anonymous phone calls to his new love, as long as there is no one around If you get the chance, you will retaliate without hesitation.

The feeling of losing control makes you furious, just like a child smashing a toy that he can't get. Since he can't have it, he destroys it. Appropriate anger is good for relieving the pain of a broken love in the initial moments. Venting your emotions can make you temporarily forget the pain. But during the cooling-off period after the anger, the pain will come back to your heart.

Step 4: Self-pity

If he doesn’t love me, will anyone fall in love with me?

When the outside world is cold and cruel, what else can be better? Is it safer to shrink into one's own shell? With pajamas, a comfortable sofa, and a TV that stays on day and night, the outside world will seem less scary.

You stay at home and don’t want to go to work. You sleep in the dark and eat without restraint. Who will feel sorry for you? No one! You know that the best way to forget him is to fall in love with someone else. Him, so you deliberately try to seduce him who doesn't really move you, but you still feel sad when you get home because that's not what you really want to do.

Since the outside world is not influenced by your wishes, you will be more inclined to deny its existence and close yourself off. This stage of self-isolation is essential in order to rediscover inner strength. But the time should not be too long. The best way is to make a "contract" with yourself: close for a fixed period of time, and then work hard to get out.

Step 5: Disdain

Tch! As cowardly as he is, I don’t want him yet.

He doesn’t want me anymore? That’s the best thing, I don’t want him yet. I have given up on him for a long time! He is not excellent, rich or considerate at all, and has countless shortcomings. How could I put up with him for so long? This man is ridiculous and has no taste at all. He left just in time. Let him go to someone else to make a fool of himself. I don’t want to put up with him anymore!

In order to reduce In pain, you instinctively find fault with the other person. Although you have tried so hard to make yourself think that he is not worthy of love, you actually know very well in your heart what you miss. But this is somewhat of a good sign. You can use your contempt for him to regain your confidence and shift your attention elsewhere.