How to face a seriously ill family?

My father died a few days ago, and my heart was shocked.

I wrote a related article two days ago, and today I want to discuss a life problem that most families will encounter:

What should we do if our family member is seriously ill and asks to give up treatment?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

cause

My father suffered from myocardial infarction five years ago, and because he was not sent to the hospital in time, he formed a ventricular aneurysm, which is a serious complication of myocardial infarction.

He was critically ill five years ago, but fortunately, he survived.

In this way, another five years passed.

Some time ago, the weakening heart function has been difficult to support the normal operation of the body, and various organs have gone wrong one after another.

Dad has been admitted to the intensive care unit. Although the doctor tried his best to treat him, he was powerless in the end.

During the treatment, my father repeatedly expressed his wish to give up treatment.

But because we know dad's personality and know that he is easily entangled and repeated, we guess this is not his firm choice, so we can only choose to ignore it.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

fast knot

But the later, the deeper his pain, watching him suffer and helpless, his heart is as uncomfortable as a knife.

Finally, I had to leave him when he felt uncomfortable.

Because there is no way to alleviate his pain, and I see that his physical pain has the same pain.

At that time, I thought, if it really hurts and there is really no possibility of cure, it is better to let him get rid of it as soon as possible.

However, things are not that simple.

The dilemma at that time was: it is not that giving up treatment can make my father get rid of the pain immediately and get rid of it soon; If he is not treated, he will have to continue to suffer, continue to suffer, and even suffer more.

So, we continued to insist on treatment, and finally, my father walked the whole course in the suffering of the disease.

And this dilemma is like a fast knot, which many families will encounter.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

commit suicide

I read a story in Zhihu.

The mother of the subject had leiomyosarcoma of uterus, and had 7 operations in 8 years, and the times of chemotherapy exceeded 10.

Finally, go home for conservative treatment.

However, there are many tumors ranging from 5 to 20 cm in her stomach, and her stomach continues to get bigger and people become thinner.

In the middle, because of tumor compression, there are mild uremia symptoms and dysuria.

Asked for hospitalization, but was told that treatment was meaningless.

In the end, people can't eat normally. They can only drink some water and rice soup every day, and people are getting more and more haggard.

The mother told them to choose to leave and asked their children to help her. The children were heartbroken and hid all the dangerous things beside their mother.

But I don't know when my mother hid a knife.

Afterwards, they learned that one morning, my mother chose to cut her wrist to commit suicide, but she was too weak to cut her wrist at once, so she cut it slowly.

When she was found, she was covered with blood and was immediately taken to the hospital for rescue. Her wrist is no longer a problem.

After returning home, my mother was so emotional that she kept scolding her children for being unfilial. She looked at her in such pain but didn't help her.

The child is in pain, but he is in a dilemma.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

difficult position

This is the dilemma that countless families are facing or will face.

Health and longevity are just people's good wishes, and it is an unavoidable fact that most aging is accompanied by diseases.

With the development of modern medicine, there are countless ways to prolong a person's life.

Stop breathing and have a ventilator;

Cardiac arrest with pacemaker;

If you can't eat, you can insert a stomach tube. ...

In short, it is not difficult for modern medicine to maintain a person's vital signs.

But born as human beings, we have requirements for the quality of life. Lying in bed and relying on a ventilator or a stomach tube to maintain life, people's social significance has lost.

I read an article describing the cases encountered in nursing homes and hospice hospitals. Many seriously ill elderly people have similar demands, hoping that they can leave early without pain.

People with advanced gastric cancer are skinny, people with severe hemiplegia after many years of stroke, people who are conscious and use various tubes to maintain their vital characteristics. ...

They rely on drugs and machines to keep alive, and their voice is-

Can you stop giving him/her medicine, or stop the rescue in the next dangerous situation, and let him get rid of it naturally and walk happily?

However, when it comes to relatives, this decision is not easy to make.

In the face of life and death, no one can accuse the other party of insisting or giving up treatment, which is selfish.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

euthanasia

A well-known case about euthanasia is Fu Daren, a famous TV anchor in Taiwan Province Province, China.

He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at the age of 84 and suffered from it for two years.

He actively promoted the legalization of euthanasia in Taiwan Province Province, but ultimately failed to achieve it. Finally, accompanied by his family, he went to Switzerland and chose euthanasia to end his life.

Before going to Switzerland, Fu Daren's family could not accept euthanasia.

But Fu Daren insisted on euthanasia, because even if the operation was successful, he would live in a hospital bed and lose his freedom. He doesn't want to live in such pain in the last stage of his life, but wants to walk the last journey with dignity.

Fu Daren's son described his feelings in the process of accompanying his father to his end:

"At that moment, it was calm, as calm as my father just fell asleep. No one realized that he had really left. This is also the moment. We really put it down and thought it was the best way for our father. Once we didn't understand him, once we thought he was selfish, and once we wished he could be with us, but the pain on my father was really beyond our understanding. Our love for our father is to respect his wishes and we are with him. The moment he left, our whole family was there. My father knows that we love him, and I think that's enough. "

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

reality

At present, only the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland and other countries in the world legislate to allow euthanasia.

France, Germany, Spain, Sweden, Norway, Denmark and other countries allow "passive" euthanasia, and only allow the termination of treatment to prolong human life.

So far, the data of euthanasia in the world has been rising.

China also attaches great importance to euthanasia. As early as the Fourth Session of the Tenth CPPCC National Committee, euthanasia legislation was discussed in depth.

Relevant departments have conducted surveys in Beijing, Shanghai, Hebei, Guangdong and other places, and the rate of folk evaluation in favor of euthanasia is very high.

Among the 200 elderly people in Shanghai, 73% are in favor of euthanasia, and even more than 85% in Beijing think that euthanasia is humanitarian, and 80% think that euthanasia can be implemented in China at present.

According to Health News, a questionnaire survey of nearly 1,000 people in Beijing shows that more than 965,438+0% people are in favor of euthanasia, and 85% people think that euthanasia should be implemented by legislation.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?

hope

Of course, there are also many voices of opposition.

China has a large population and a relatively complicated family situation, so it is difficult to implement it reasonably and legally.

Euthanasia is prohibited by law in our country. The general explanation is that management is difficult. The country is too big, and the policy must be conservative. Once you let go, it will be difficult to block the problem in the future.

At the legislative level, we are not professional.

But the pain at the real level, everyone will encounter.

For those elderly people who are seriously ill, it is really pitiful. They worked hard all their lives and finally walked the whole journey with illness. It hurts to think of it.

Of course, we can't bear the old man to leave, but if his departure is inevitable, it is our greatest kindness to try our best to alleviate their suffering.

This dilemma is still unsolved, but I think this discussion is still meaningful.

We have been talking about vocalization, and maybe there will be a relatively neutral third way to choose from in the future, which may be the gospel of the whole world.

Dilemma: My family is seriously ill and begging to give up treatment. What should we do?