Ask for a particularly funny news

1. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

2. I have received your message for a long time, and I feel very distressed. I thought I cut my pulse with potato chips and hit my head with tofu. I jumped from a building with a parachute and hung it with noodles. They were all dead. Invite me to dinner, support me to death.

If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live such a life of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees!

The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe."

6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau!

7. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl told the boy that if you kissed me, you would be responsible for me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile, don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old.

8. A patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal recently. How to eat cucumber and watermelon to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

Enough ~