Collect SMS jokes

1. Your birthday is here! I walked around the mall and didn’t know what to buy for you, so I thought it would be better to give you a red envelope! I have already sent mosquitoes, and I will definitely give you a big red envelope. You must accept it with a smile!

2. Money can buy a house, but not a home; it can buy marriage, but not love; it can buy a clock, but not time. Money is not everything but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me bear the pain alone!

3. The God of Wealth smiles at you until his beard curls up, and asks you if you want to get rich. How wonderful it is to enjoy happiness! A lot of money is really effective. If you see something, you want it. If you ask when the day will come, it will be effective after reading the message! May you be happy and prosperous!

4. People

can fall in love,

not special;

cows

can eat green grass,< /p>

Not special;

Pigs

can hit the computer,

that’s why they are special;

But still click!

What a miraculous pig!

Wow! Still laughing!

What a cool pig!

5. The three most popular words during the Iraq War: peace, war. Found, connect these three English words and read them aloud three times, and you will uncover a major historical mystery.

6. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: It’s weird that I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you couldn't help but declare loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

7. When I was chatting with my friends just now, I mentioned you, do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was too much! I don’t treat you like a pig at all!

8. A portrait of your life: Learn to take a bath by yourself at the age of ten - Zhu Ziqing; shine at the age of twenty - Zhu Shimao; find a job at the age of thirty - Zhu establishes a career; be employed at the age of forty Servants - pigs get servants; learn to play basketball at the age of fifty - pigs shoot!

9. Two counterfeiters accidentally made fake banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in a remote mountainous area. When they took a 15 yuan bill, they bought 1 yuan of candied haws. , they cried, and the farmer gave them two pieces worth 7 yuan.

10. Dear user, at this time we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian Autonomous Government has decided to award you a lofty title in the name of the entire Arab world: Ben Shalebacki

11. Legend has it that you are so cruel that you lie down across four seats in the theater. When someone asks you to get up, you just grunt and don’t move until the security comes. Liao said: My friend is ruthless enough, which way do I belong? You gritted your teeth and said, "I fell down from the aisle upstairs!"

12. Dear God, please bless those friends who don’t call me, don’t send me text messages, and don’t miss me: May God drop their computers in the toilet. Amen!

13. You keep farting loudly in the classroom, and your classmates can’t help but ask you if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked you what you were doing. You replied that I had set it to vibrate!

14. The lion and the bear defecated next to a tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his defecation was stronger than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life - lion poop. Better than bear poop!

15. I give you the 12 zodiac signs. I wish you are as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as bold as a tiger, as cute as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as charming as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as docile as a sheep, and as naughty as a sheep. Monkey is as beautiful as a chicken, as loyal as a dog, and looks like a pig!

16. You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is for wind and rain; the earth is for growing flowers and grass; I am for Prove how great human beings are; you are used to dig out shit.

17. Have you eaten? Please receive text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help but sing: Ya La Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

18.: All the girls in the class (except the three masters) went to buy jewelry. Everyone chose a jewelry, put it on their hands and said: I buy this luminous ring! It’s perfect for me to take with me! Waiter: This is not a ring, but it is also luminous.

All girls in the class (except three masters): Then what is it? Waiter: Luminous bracelet

19. The king wants 100 pigs. The minister only brought 99 heads. The king said: "There is another pig?" The minister said: "There is another person who is reading the text message"! whee! !

20. Warning: Due to overload use, your phone has undergone violent internal changes and is about to explode. Please throw your phone away in an empty place immediately after reading this prompt...

21. Read out the following words, and you will get a job with a monthly salary of 2,000,000. The test questions are as follows: 簟璁醭歙艽绱癀穑魍恃偬彘偪隲鲥琡簰.