Super classic funny jokes

Introduction: I was in a taxi the next day. After I got in the car, the driver listened to jokes on the radio. He kept laughing. He smiled and laughed and suddenly stopped laughing. Then he looked at me with a very innocent look and said, "I just got in the car." That person didn’t give me any money? I instantly felt internal injuries. The following are super classic funny jokes in 2017 for your reference.

1. One day, a family of three went to my father-in-law’s house for a meal. During the meal, the father-in-law said to the little Loli: Why do you have the nerve to come here to eat so often? The little Loli replied casually: You My daughter eats at our house every day, how can you be so embarrassed?,,,,,,, the kids these days are going crazy, right?

2. My classmate went out to play with the girl and drank a little in the evening , the girl couldn’t say anything back. . So he checked into a room, and it was said that at night the girls took the initiative to hold his hand and put it on his waist, while his classmates didn't do anything. . The girl is going to fall in love with him the next day, and it has been more than two years now. . . The girl recalled that she used this method to test several men, just like finding an honest one, and only my classmate passed the test. . . . . I'm a little confused, I just want to know what those who are not qualified do.

3. An old lady with gray hair went to the barber shop to dye her hair, and was told 80. The old lady said: It's too expensive. , does half dyeing cost 40? The boss said, yes, as long as you are willing. ?Then dye my white hair black. There is no need to dye my black hair? What a sensible old man the boss is!

4. One day I took a taxi. After getting in the car, the driver listened to jokes on the radio. He kept laughing. He smiled and suddenly stopped laughing, and then looked at him with a very innocent look. Asking me, the person who took the bus just now didn’t give me any money? I instantly felt internal injuries

5. I was so hungry. The only thing I could eat at home now was dog food. I couldn’t help but eat a few. , the taste is not bad, the dog at home woke up when he heard the sound of the bag, squatted next to him and stared at me with his head tilted! Can’t I eat a few of the ones I bought with money?

6. In the second year of high school this year, Brother Meng , My sister is seven years older than me and graduated from the Normal University this year. My sister has been very mysterious since she came back from graduation during the summer vacation. She makes me laugh when she looks at me. I knew the result when school started last week, and she became my English teacher! Alas, my girlfriend can only see me again

7. I have a six-year-old cousin who is usually a computer fanatic. . . My uncle left for work in the morning. Before going out, he said to his little cousin: Do your homework well today. After you finish, I will let you play on the computer for an hour. When my uncle came home at noon and saw him playing, he asked his cousin: Is the homework done? The cousin lowered his head, sighed and replied: Stop talking, I don't want to play on the computer today. . . Cousin, you can do it. . .

8. I received a strange phone call yesterday? It was from a thief? It was from my boyfriend, saying, "Daughter-in-law, I lost my phone. Stop sending me text messages." I was about to comfort him. , this guy said again, "Don't send money, I'm worried about your family. Everyone else is fine, you are so stupid!". Okay, I called you specifically to tell you that I was stupid and you deserved to lose your phone -_-"

9. The company boss said at the regular meeting on Thursday that few people read his emails (if you delete them without opening them, there will be a prompt. ), scolding everyone and asking everyone to read his email. ----End of background. Last Friday I heard that a weird guy not only read it, but also replied "read". I don't know if it will be available on Monday. Have you seen him...

10. When I saw him walking into the wrong classroom in my second year of high school, I remember that when I walked in an extra level, I didn’t recognize anyone, so I reached out and touched him. I checked the blackboard slot, walked around the place pretending to check the hygiene, and said hello to my acquaintances. Afterwards, my friend asked me why I started checking the hygiene. Nima (reposted)

11. I just read a paragraph that said that a wife is a road and a friend is a cow. There is only one road in life, and there will be several cows. Don’t go the wrong way when you have money. Don’t sell the cow when you have money... The result is... What should I do if the cow is on the road? 12. There is a weird girl in the company. Paper, short and uncut.

Today I ran to the office director for no reason and asked: Director, does pregnancy during work count as a work-related injury? Emma is really full of information?

13. On the bus, there was a man about 40 years old. Pulling a little girl around 11 or 12 years old, the little girl said: "Principal Wang, I want to eat a sundae?" At this time, the eyes of everyone in the car were focused on the man, and some even took out their phones to take pictures or Call 110. At this time, the man said to the little girl in embarrassment: "This child, call the principal at school, but should he call daddy when he comes out?

14. My wife went on the road on the first day after getting her driver's license and sat in the passenger seat. I was frightened while driving. I took the wrong road, ran a red light, made sharp turns, everything happened. My wife even said excitedly: "Look at how fast I drive, no other car can pass me." A broken car was swerving across two lanes. Who dares to overtake it? I shouted angrily.

15. Boyfriend: Do you like the birthday gift I gave you? Girlfriend: Well, it’s pretty, I like it! Boyfriend: Really, why don’t you take it with me? Girlfriend: Didn’t I just tell you? The thief liked it and it was stolen. ?

16. There is a man in the company who is naturally stupid. Just now a beautiful woman came to him?,,,,,we all asked very gossipyly, who is this beauty? When did we meet? How old is she? So naturally Dai explained, that is my sister, biological sister, half a year younger than me. . . Half a year younger, damn, my biological sister who is half a year younger shocked our entire office!

17. In the office, the teacher handed me 10 yuan and said softly: "Put a cover on your phone." ?I clutched the Nokia I bought three years ago and muttered: ?Teacher, my mobile phone is broken and cannot be used. The teacher sighed and put the money into my hand: "Take it, we can use it on the classroom floor." ?.

18. A soldier in the cooking class picked up a puppy while training outside. The puppy kept barking at night. I fed him meat and it barked again. The squad leader just happened to be passing by. I pointed at the puppy and said, call the squad leader quickly, and the squad leader will give you meat to eat. The squad leader said domineeringly, "Call me daddy, and tell daddy to give you meat to eat." . . . . . I felt so loved instantly,,,

19. A male teacher was giving a moral class. Male teacher: Classmates, lying is wrong. Do you know what lying is? Student: Yes. ?Male teacher: ?Okay, now let me ask a classmate to give an example. ?A student quickly raised his hand. Male teacher: Okay, please tell this classmate. ?Student:?Teacher, you are so handsome. ?As a result, the student was punished to stand for one class.

20. The elementary school is about to end. There are many people and cars at the school gate. A girl and I riding an electric scooter were blocked. The taxi driver behind us honked the horn. The girl on the scooter got off and lay down at the window. Say to the taxi driver, Master, I will blow the horn for you and you will drive my car over. The male driver opened his mouth and couldn't speak. How happy am I? What a girl.

21. When a buddy in the university dormitory just started playing Dota, he went to the platform to play against others and got scolded in various ways. . ,,,,, once he gave a blood as soon as he went up, and someone scolded him again, and then he replied: You guys are really good at playing. Then a miracle happened. All four teammates surrounded him and protected him from dying.

21. A friend gave it to him. He and his mother went up the mountain to pick mushrooms. They enjoyed the scenery while picking mushrooms. Halfway up the mountain, he told his mother that he felt like he had seen the scenery before. This is my first time here. At this time, his mother’s words shocked him. His mother said that you are right to feel this way. I think you were conceived here!

22. Today I know why the handsome young man who often comes to buy things sometimes greets me with a smile when he sees me, but sometimes turns a blind eye to me coldly? It has been three years, but now I know that he has two Brother! They are not twins!

23. Every time I go home, lz’s mother will compare a certain neighbor’s son with me. Who is the same age as you? How many girlfriends did you bring home? If you buy a house or a car in a big city, you just have the ability. Whenever this happens, I feel like a loser. I just went home yesterday, and the whole village was saying that he was in jail. . . Then, at dinner, it was much quieter and I ate three large bowls.

24. As I was walking today, the uncle in front of me dropped two hundred yuan when he was taking his mobile phone from his trouser pocket. I stopped him and told him, brother, you lost your money. He turned to look at me in horror and walked away quickly. . . . Then I will have two weeks of pocket money. Do good people get rewarded?