Who can tell some jokes?

1. Who is lower, A or C? A is lower because ABCD (A is lower than C) 2. A dying man made a will to his wife: "After I die, I hope you can marry our neighbor Mr. Ed." The wife was puzzled, so she He further explained: "Two years ago, the cow that this bastard sold me couldn't milk at all. Now I want to let him taste the feeling of being cheated!" 3. Dad told Yuyu about how he often went hungry when he was a child. After listening, Yuyu had tears in her eyes: "Uh, Dad, did you come to our house because you had no food?" 4. My three-year-old daughter often says to me: "Dad, you get what you sow." "Yeah?" I said, "Yes, if you sow melons, you will get melons, and if you sow beans, you will get beans." My daughter said happily, "Then I will plant jelly. I want a lot of jelly." 5. The two fathers and sons have violent tempers and never let others. One day, the father ordered his son to buy meat to entertain guests. When I was returning, I met a man at the city gate who refused to give way. He stood facing each other for half a day. My father ran over and said, "My dear son, you go back first with the meat, and I will stand with you next!" 6--A swimming pool was to be built in a place, and the staff mobilized people. Donate. The staff asked an old farmer what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said: "I will donate two buckets of water!" 7--Xiao Mao: "My mother is a master's degree and my father is a doctor." Xiao Xin: "What's so great!" Xiao Mao: "Who are your parents?" Xiao Xin: New: "My father is a man and my mother is a woman." 8--A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a big crocodile crawled over from a distance, ready to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko stepped forward and hugged the crocodile's leg, shouting: "Mom!" The big crocodile was stunned, and then burst into tears: "Son, I've only been in the stock market for half a month and I'm so thin! " 9 At least I still have you. One day, a pig said to another pig, "If all the pigs in the world die, give me a song title." The pig said angrily, "At least you still exist." 10. You will develop. Game? Happy Meal has a new colleague who graduated from a famous university majoring in computer science. Daxiong was so envious that he asked with admiration, "Can you develop games?" "Yes, I was the chairman of the student union when I was in school. I often organized various activities. Developing games is too easy." "What games have you developed? ?” “Well, for example, let’s compare who can learn from the rabbit, like...” 11. Inflation The global financial crisis leads to inflation. Money is becoming less and less valuable. The boss decided to hold an all-employee meeting to deal with the current problem. "Comrades, due to inflation, money is becoming less and less valuable. Therefore, the 100 yuan per month for food that everyone used to pay has been changed to 200 yuan per month after research and decision." 12. Wolf cubs from birth Just be vegetarian. Wolf parents and wolf mothers racked their brains to train their wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, the Sirius parents were delighted to see their son chasing the rabbit. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit and said fiercely: Boy! Hand over the carrot! 13. In front of the ramen shop counter, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, the ramen chef asked: Do you want thick or thin? The girl replied: I will eat whatever you pull. 14. A man and a woman were having an affair. The husband suddenly came home. The man jumped out of the window and ran away without putting on his clothes. He walked on the street and watched onlookers. The man pretended to be nonchalant and looked at the sky: ah, this is the earth. Passers-by said: Pretending to be an alien. 15. The white rabbit Q B and the gray wolf ran away. The wolf chased after him angrily. The rabbit wiped his body with dirt and pretended to be the gray rabbit. He wore glasses and read the newspaper. The wolf asked: Can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit that rapes the wolf? Wolf Shame: I, KAO, got the news so soon? 16. In Chinese class, the teacher asked students to answer the personality characteristics of a character in a novel. A classmate replied loudly: "Very full." 17. The cashier said: I have no change. I'll give you two plastic bags! 18. A thin man said to the fat man: You are really strong in limbs, but I am really simple-minded. 19.You said...you like me? Actually...I quite like myself. 20. Is this blind man a blind man? Examples of jokes: The length of a joke does not matter. Sometimes just a few sentences can have a good effect, such as: 1 A: My two marriages failed. B: What’s wrong? A: The first wife is gone. B: What about the second one? A: She refuses to leave. Jokes are made up of words. Most jokes are short and make people laugh.

Opening the door and seeing your daughter chatting naked. Let’s assume that you are a father (I mean hypothetical). If you push the door into your daughter’s room when you get home and suddenly find your daughter chatting naked, what would you do? ! "Guess what the father of today's children will usually answer? Let me make a Goldbach guess. Answer 1: A very unimaginative father will answer: "Absolutely impossible! Because my girl’s rule is that I’m not allowed to enter the house unless I knock on the door! ” Answer 2: A more submissive father: “Generally speaking, before I can say anything, my daughter will growl and yell at me: ‘Get out! ’” Answer 3: An irritable father: “I will rush up and beat her to death with a folding bench!” Don’t let her give me this virtue! ” Answer 4: A humorous father: “Why don’t you turn on the air conditioner?” ! "Answer 5: A father who had bumped into me for the first time said numbly: "After chatting, we went out to eat. ” or “Eat first, and then talk after eating.” Answer 6: A panicked father rushed in and pulled the plug. Answer 7: A money-obsessed father: "I'll collect the management fee." "Answer 8: A pervert father: "Daughter, how do you charge? Give me a discount? "The Minimum Requirements of a Girlfriend. In college dormitories at night, students often talk about their ideal partners. On a summer night, the air was extremely hot and stuffy. A boy in a male dormitory could not fall asleep, so he talked about his future girlfriend. request. Xiao Yang is a handsome guy with a cheerful personality who is very popular with girls. He said proudly: "For me, I just want to find someone who is 1.6 meters tall, slender and good-looking." "Xiao Wu is not very handsome, but he is the president of the school's literary club. He said slowly: "I don't have high requirements for my girlfriend. As long as she matches me, has a gentle personality, and has beautiful long hair. Just send it. " Xiao Wang is not very talented and not handsome enough, but he is very good at flattering. He sighed and said: "Well, I have the lowest requirements for my girlfriend, as long as she does not affect the appearance of the city. "In the end, only Xiao Wu in the dormitory remained silent. Xiao Wu was short and introverted, and his face would turn red when talking to girls. The other three people in the dormitory kept encouraging him, but he always refused. Finally, Xiao Yang refused: "We have all said that you should at least state your minimum requirements for your girlfriend. " Seeing that there was nothing he could do, Xiao Wu shrank into bed with a blushing face and squeezed out four words: "Female, alive. "A beautiful woman with elegant temperament was holding her child and preparing to get on the bus! When getting on the bus, the driver found that the beautiful woman's child was really ugly, so he said to the beautiful woman: "It's really ugly! "The beautiful woman was very angry after hearing this, so she glared at the driver and walked to the back of the car angrily! At this time, a man next to the beautiful woman comforted the beautiful woman: "Did the driver bully you just now? It's okay, I'll hold the monkey for you, and you can go find him to settle the score! "Tang's Monk: Amitabha, the poor monk Tripitaka, pays homage to Guanyin Bodhisattva. I was shocked to hear that the Bodhisattva is the director appointed by the Buddha. He is selecting people for the role of "The Journey to the West". The poor monk is here to audition. When we first met, the poor monk went to take a bath first. Please wait a moment, Bodhisattva. The poor monk will do his best tonight.