If anyone has a funnier joke, please share it with everyone! !

$A soldier was practicing climbing a tree. Suddenly he fell from the tree. The officer asked him why he fell. He said that two squirrels ran into his crotch. I tolerated this, but They went in and said: Let's divide the fruit...

$The doctor asked the patient how he broke the bone. The patient said, "I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding on to the telephone pole." tmd A bastard passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two sticks!

$ When I was still in a daze in the morning, my phone vibrated, I took it over and pressed answer. Key: Hello! Hello! Hello? Hello? ! Who are you? Is something wrong? You do speak! Kao! I pressed the hang-up button. I was so angry that I asked to see who the caller was. When I saw it, it was a text message... uh~

$ When I was in junior high school, during a night study hall, a boy I liked at the front table suddenly turned to me. Said: "I will definitely come back to marry you in 10 years." When I heard this, my face turned red and I played better with him, but I didn't expect him to say that. .

Then, he went on to say, "Come back and take your life. Haha." After all these years, I am speechless when I think of it.

$ After get off work at the company, several computers gathered together to fight the Landlord. , the water dispenser should also be played. He loses every time but still insists on participating every day. Sofa didn't understand very well and asked the chair: Why are you still fighting so hard when the water dispenser loses every day? The chair said, "Asking this kind of question, is your head filled with water?

$ There are 5 eggs in the refrigerator. The first one said to the second one: Hey, look, the fifth egg has It’s so hairy~~ It’s so scary~!

The second one said to the third one: Look, the fifth egg is hairy~~ It’s so scary!

The third one said to the fourth one: Look, the fifth egg is furry. . .

I heard it: I’m a kiwi! ~! !

$ A man was starving to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp: "I can only grant you one wish, tell me quickly, I'm in a hurry. "Man: "I want a wife..." The magic lamp immediately transformed into a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm almost starving to death and you're still greedy for beauty! sad! "After saying that, he disappeared. Person: "...cake. ”

$The happiest thing: sleeping until you wake up naturally, counting money until your hands cramp. The saddest thing: sleeping until your hands cramp, counting money until you wake up naturally

A group of Foreigners were visiting a Chinese shopping mall and found a sign at the door that said "Skate with caution". The international students laughed. The Chinese people are so funny. They treat this as a roller skating rink. Let's skate with caution!

$ Bin Laden sent Bush a letter: qs-IHSIN. Bush was puzzled and the FBI could do nothing about it, so he sent it to MI6. The answer was: President, you got it backwards, use Read Chinese Pinyin!

$First put a notebook on the table, and then put your chin on the notebook. Okay, this is my gift to you - notebook pad!

$One day Xiao Ming’s mother gave Xiao Ming 30 yuan and said: Go learn skills.

Xiao Ming went to a construction factory and saw a worker uncle. The worker uncle said: The big thing is bad, the house is needed. Xiao Ming said: Uncle, if you say it again, I will give you 10 yuan. "It's a big deal and the house will fall down." He gave the aunt ten yuan.

After a while, he saw an old man coaxing the child. The old man said: If you beat grandpa again, grandpa won't buy you pineapples to eat.

He was very angry when he got home. He yelled: The house is going to fall down. The mother who was taking a shower said: Ah, the house is going to fall down.

He said: Where are you going? Mom stretched out her hand to hit him. Grandpa, grandpa won’t buy you pineapples.

$When I went to the toilet, I saw the abbreviation NC on the toilet door. The English expert who went with me said: NC is the men’s toilet. It suddenly dawned on me, entering, taking off, and squatting, all in one go. Suddenly, an idea flashed, what is the abbreviation for the women's toilet...

$One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming to answer a question in class. Xiao Ming couldn't. No. Speak. The teacher said anxiously: "You don't know. You... you... just say something!" So Xiao Ming said: "Squeak." ”

$A man kept farting loudly at work, and his colleague couldn’t help but say: “Can you just keep quiet?” Then he saw him sitting there shaking non-stop.

A colleague asked him what he was doing, and he replied: I have set it to vibration now!

$ Someone was riding a bicycle and heard a passerby yelling: go, go, go... I thought, damn, I can also sing: Olai Olai... Before he finished speaking, he fell headlong. Into the ditch. A passerby cursed: Damn it! I told you Gou Gou Gou, but you still ride? !Deserved to fall to death!

$The spider loved the ant deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. The spider yelled: "Why? Why is all this happening?" The ant said timidly: "My mother said that she is on the Internet all day long. Those who stay around are not good people!”

$A birdkeeper teaches a parrot to speak, and must teach it to say: Good morning! After several months, the parrot still didn't speak. One day, the man was in a bad mood and without saying hello, the parrot yelled: "You're so awesome today, you didn't even say hello!"

$A certain diner deliberately made things difficult for the store owner and ordered a scrambled duck egg. Just listen to the waiter yelling into the kitchen: The guest officer who is reading the text message on the phone is a bastard