Selected humorous short message sentences of picking up girls

1, we are destined to be together. Ask if you care, see if you are happy, kiss you if you love you, worry if you don't see you for a day, love you all your life, love you only once in your life, and the earthquake has brought a heart.

If your eyes blink, I will die. If your eyes blink again, I will come back to life. If your eyes blink, I will die.

3. If I like you and fall in love with you, I am wrong and I don't want to be right; If right equals no you, I'd rather be wrong all my life. Not for life, but forever, never wrong, even if it is notorious for thousands of years.

I heard that your mobile phone has no SMS function, so I sent this SMS to try. If you receive it and confirm that it has SMS function and it is not my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

Birds fly across the sky, leaving nothing in the sky. The wind is blowing from the ground, and the ground is gray. As time goes by, my eyes are full of loneliness. I walk with you and you live in my heart.

6. The same eyes have different opinions, the same ears have different listening methods, and the same heart has different ideas. The world can be a better place if you want to!

7. If you are a butterfly, I don't want to be a flower to play with, a sweet spring to you, or a stream to help you fly. I just want to be a wind with you and wait for the beauty in my life.

8, baby: don't feel tired, just rest; Don't feel hungry before eating; Don't feel cold before adding clothes; Don't be sleepy before you miss me. Take care of yourself and your health!

9. Missing is a tangled web; Willingly, you are trapped in the middle of the net; Just to lock your eyes and be affectionate for a long time; You captured my heart and never made any resistance; I just want to have a vigorous love with you!

10, the monitor asked: Who is the largest officer in our platoon? A: It's a platoon leader. The monitor asked again: Who's under the teacher? The recruit replied: The teacher rode the horse.

1 1. Laughter got 4 points in the exam, but he still had the cheek to ask his father to sign it. The next day, the teacher asked, "What did your father say about you?" Smiled and said, "Does swearing count?" The teacher said, "Of course not." The thief smiled and said, "Then he didn't say anything."

12, if you are a lamp, I will be a telephone pole, so that I can lift you to a height that others can't reach, and you only illuminate the road under my feet. Then we can be together day and night and make a group of happy street lamps.

13, think about your feelings: cooking without salt; Apples should not be too sweet; Smoke less; Forgot to bring money when shopping. I will miss you when I have time, and I will miss you when I have no time. If I really can't spare the time, I will-do nothing but miss you!

14, ask the starry sky when it will rain, push aside the fog to see the surprise, climb the stairs, remember each other, get along day and night, the wind and rain have passed, and the beautiful scenery will come as promised. I want to kiss you gently and leave traces of your heart with my love!

15, let me tell you a secret. Please look at the back first, then at the left, then at the right. Ok, please don't look around with your mobile phone!

16, seeing a smile, lovesickness burns into a hug, and both hearts will grow old, no matter the time limit or the distance limit, dear, we will love each other to the end of our lives.

17. It is said that a man has to climb three mountains to find a wife. For your fate, can I climb two less so that I can catch up with you early and wait for your answer? If you agree, please reply: I agree; If not, please reply: I just agree. If you don't reply, I will acquiesce in your unconditional consent.

18, for you and me, I became a madman of love, willing to cut through thorns on the road of love; I became a fool of love for you, let the waves of love surge and meet without regrets; You are the only person I pursue in this life, and loving you will be an open secret!

19, you smiled, and my sky cleared up; You are bored, my weather is cloudy; Your every move affects my expression; After falling in love with you, my IQ is zero; I miss you coming here every day. I feel like I'm in prison without you!

20. A man and a woman had an affair, and her husband suddenly came home. The man jumped out of the window and ran away, naked, walking in the street to watch. The man pretended to look at the sky as if nothing had happened: Ah, this is the earth. Passers-by said: Cao, pretend to be an alien with chicken feathers.

2 1. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I am a car and you are a driver, will you drive (marry) me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely marry you.

22, I am your route to find your way, I am your keyboard for you to input, I am your whole spell, give you quotations, I am your Baidu, give you everything, dear, I hope to help you search lonely time.

23. Not every flower can bloom all year round, but lavender does. Not every big tree can resist wind and sand, but poplar can; Not every little pig can read this information, but you did.

24. The vast sky makes you fly high, beautiful stories are interpreted by you, kind children have to chase them, and humorous messages are sent to the little turtle!

25. This is your first swimming lesson. An hour later, you said to the coach, "I think, is that enough for today?" "Why?" "I really can't drink any more."

26. In front of the counter of Lamian Noodles Store, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, Master Lamian Noodles asked, Do you want a thick one or a thin one? Girl: I'll eat whatever you pull.

27. The breeze blows through the heartstrings and touches feelings; Acacia vine, filar silk are lingering; Loving you is a kind of blue, and this heart can be learned from heaven; Turn around and disappear carelessly, insomnia is also sweet; Love you unchanged, embrace the ends of the earth.

28. If a drop of water falls from the sky, it will be a tear I miss you; If two drops of water fall from the sky, it is that I love you and am ecstatic; If there are countless water drops in the sky, it is ... Stop dreaming, it's raining!

29. You are a happy bird, flying carefree in my heart. I really hope that you will always sing a cheerful song and stay with me. From then on, you and I are no longer lonely, and we are the stars that embellish our lives.

30. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! Chief: comrades are all tanned! Soldier: The leader is blacker! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

3 1, looking forward to the phoenix, worrying about the sky all night, a pot of warm wine, alone in the cold spring, alone in the light, the flowers are fine and beautiful, the heart is looking for spring water, and the morning breeze is green on both sides. Love you, your love is hidden in my heart, and I see the spring of love!

32. A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, "Comrade, your cigarettes have dropped!" " The man was furious: "You just castrated!"

33. I finally caught you, how could I let you down easily! Because at that time, there was only one thought in my heart, which was to protect you. If I die like this, don't be sad or cry!

34. Life becomes uncomfortable without your son. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet.

The nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, so she went over and whispered to him, "sweetheart!" " The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

36. Late at night, the Boeing 737 pilot came home and knocked at the door. The wife asked: Who? The pilot said humorously: 737 requesting landing! Suddenly a man in the room shouted: Roger that, 777 will take off immediately to make room for you!

I am an angel sent by God to punish you. If you are angry, I will go back to God.

38. My favorite lover is a tycoon. One day he will drive a BMW and bring a diamond ring to marry me. I can guess the beginning, but I can't guess the end ―― because I'm awake!

39. A bird sings only once in its life. It sings the song of life on the thorns. A person loves only once in his life and can give up everything to die.

40. Last night, I asked a mosquito to come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and let it kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? Big bag represents my heart!

4 1. If the solar energy rises in the west and sets in the east, if the flowers and plants can lose their colors, if time can stay around the clock, if I can't give you happiness, that's the moment when my love for you ends. But love you without if.

42. The miser was on a business trip, afraid that others would steal the wine he had just ordered, so he wrote on a piece of paper: I spat in the cup. After a while, he came back and found a few more words on the note: I vomited too!

43. I love you deeply, just as butterflies love flowers; I wait for you quietly, just like flowers and butterflies; The spring breeze is as light as a dream, and my mind is as heavy as a mountain; I only hope that the flowering period will never end, and it will never end with your spring and autumn music!

44. A jet fighter roared past in the sky, and the bird was surprised to see it. Bird: Mom, why does that bird fly so fast? Mother Bird: Try setting a fire on * * *!

45. Life is too short to live forever. I just want to stay with you until I get old. I know my hair will turn white sooner or later, and I will get old sooner or later, but happily, I won't be lonely with you all the way!

Please remember that I will grow old with you. Don't think it's a joke. Swear to remember that your heart will never waver, please regard it as the support of happiness. I want to give you all the beauty and take you in the direction of happiness.

Give me a second, I will miss you, give me a minute, I will care about you, give me a whole day, I will miss you, give me a lifetime, I will protect you, give me a short message, I will say: I miss you!

48, baby, don't forget to cover the quilt at night, so as not to cry cold; Pay attention to the change of temperature during the day, and it is uncomfortable to catch cold and get sick; Don't spend too much time online at night, lest you get up late and miss the time. Be relaxed, happy and healthy.

49. Yesterday when I was strolling outside, two children stopped me: Uncle, our balloon is hanging on the tree. Can you help us take it down? So I agreed, raised my hand to help them take it off, and then flew to the sky, hahaha, fuck you, don't call me brother at this time!

50. I am a match and you are a matchbox. In an instant, the lightning of love Shi Huo was lit. For that moment of beauty, it is enough. Love in the past, I will be reduced to ashes. So the whole air is filled with the warmth of loving you.

5 1, your place has become a classic, your time has become a miss, and the love in my mind has become a beautiful show. Honey, distance is something I haven't said yet. I love you.

52. I'm shy, and I've been afraid to tell you. Today I finally got up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner?

53. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him. The naked man was furious and shouted: * * * I have never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I see where * * * pays!

54. It's raining. Many fools in mental hospitals bathe in the rain with towels and soap. You are the only one watching on the windowsill. Someone asked curiously: What are you doing? You said those fools were stupid. I'll wait until the water is hot.

55. Once upon a time, there were two people, one named Zhuang and the other named Xiao. Disappeared one day, pretending to see a group of people fighting, he went over and said, I'm looking for it! The gang paused and said, are you faking it? Yes, I am!

56. Happiness, stop it! Shouldn't you stay at the home of someone who reads text messages? You should also tell him that a friend has been thinking about him, reminding him to cherish his health and wishing him good luck and peace!

57. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

58. Do you know why we are predestined friends? We knew each other as early as 1000 years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving your teeth marks on me. This has become an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

59. Yesterday, I went shopping with my mother in Yintai, carrying big bags and small bags to go home. Then I took a taxi, but I couldn't stop I'm surprised. It's usually easy to get a taxi. Seeing the traffic police ahead, I went over and asked: Where can I get a taxi? The traffic police calmly said: stay away from me, you can hit it.

60. I had dinner with my friends and went to the night market, just as a police patrol car passed by. In the distance, warning lights are flashing. As soon as the vendors saw it, they packed their things and seemed to be running away. At this time, the police uncle who is close to the people shouted in the car with a megaphone: Don't run, not the urban management. ...

6 1, where have you been? What the hell? Come back quickly. I have something important for you! Go to the health and epidemic prevention station for physical examination as soon as you receive the information! You are very lucky. If the inspection is ok, I will send you from the farmhouse pigsty to the national pig farm.

62. I have been friends with you for so long. You always care about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you. Therefore, in the next life, if you are a cow and a horse, I will definitely pull weeds for you to eat.

Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to drive away all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance! Hurry up and pack your things, go out for shelter from the rain, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You are welcome!

64. I was told that it is the noblest thing to send short messages to the most talented, kind, healthy and honest people. On second thought, this man belongs to you. If you feel the same way, please reply me!

According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads use their thumbs and forefingers to screen and read short messages! Hey, hey, don't change your fingers, it's too late, pig!

66. I saw it on the classroom wall during class. Someone wrote on the wall: "Women are trouble, women are trouble." Later, I found someone posting: "Men just love to make trouble, men just love to make trouble."

67. A girl worked in a writing brush factory and soon found that her lower body was hairy, so she went to the factory director to ask for compensation. Hearing this, the factory director took off his pants and said, you see, I not only have long hair, but also a pen. Who should I pay?

68. After having sex with his wife, the village chief said to his wife: People in other countries who love women shouted, but you didn't even scream. My wife takes it to heart. Soon, when they fell in love again, the wife remembered this and cried out in shame, "The village chief is Japanese!" " !

69. It's amazing that men and women are holding cannons between their legs, not hitting planes, not birds, but hitting women's sewers; Women and women are really wonderful. There are traps between legs, not tigers and leopards, but small steel guns used by men!

70, the standard of the rich and the poor: poverty: no food during the day, no day at night; Food and clothing: there is food during the day and food during the day at night; Abundance: eat well during the day and have a good day at night; Xiaokang: Eat if you want during the day and eat if you want at night!

7 1, the frog strayed into the shadow of the swimming girl and left a book before he died, saying: This hole is so big that it is smashed every day; Drink rice soup every meal, sometimes more and sometimes less; Now I want to get out of the hole, and I am blocked by Hu He. It is better to live like this than to die!

72. Bird's Nest: It's a red sun, downhill, brother and sister take off their clothes and go to bed, get into bed, touch the milk and touch a small grass nest. My sister asked my brother what he wanted to do. Brother said: I want to find a nest for sparrows!

73. I am lonely without you. I'm disappointed not to see you. I am not qualified to say I love you. How much I miss you, a little too much! When I saw you, I was moved … South wind … Hu!

74. Wood makes furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, women want figure, geniuses send messages, and fools read messages.

75. Other ways for men to die: they want to die when they see beautiful women; If you get it, it will be beautiful; Cheat into the house, anxious; Sleeping in bed, exhausted; Parents know that they are ashamed to die; My wife was scared to death when she found out. Leaders know the whole death; Rival in love knows, kill!

I shouldn't have invited you to dinner yesterday! It turned out that the boss said that letting me take charge of the work up and down was not to promote me, but to let me take care of the elevator! !

77. Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jonina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.

78. It seems that there is no difference between thinking of you during the day and at night. In every trance, the cold dream is like your fingers passing through the corner of my eye, just like your voice, face and smile.

79. Forgive me for telling a stranger your mobile phone number. His name is Cupid. He said he would help me tell you: My heart likes you, my heart cares about you, and my heart is waiting for you.

80. An accidental meeting, a sweet date, a hug and a sad parting. Knowing you is a perfect ending. Knowing each other is fate, knowing each other is continuation, and staying together is fate. It was fate that brought us together. I hope we can always go from origin to fate, from fate to fate. Loving someone deeply will make you intoxicated; Hating someone will break your heart; The most painful thing is waiting! I don't know how long you will wait for me, but I know that I ... ...

8 1, away from you, is my best choice. Although I love you very much, it pains me to make such a choice. I know, since you don't have my place in your heart, why should I forget my infatuation?

82. I'm ugly but I'm gentle, I'm thin but I'm full of muscle, I'm soft-hearted but my legs are not short. I believe I can catch up with you, even to the ends of the earth.

83. If I can, I'd like to hold you gently in my arms. If I can, I want to kiss you gently; Your happiness is my happiness, your sadness is my sadness, and I will share half of everything with you forever.

84. Life becomes uncomfortable without your son. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet.

85, the new three from the four virtues: the wife must follow when she goes out, the wife obeys orders, and the wife must blindly follow when she is wrong; The wife has to wait for makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and endure beatings.

86. When I first met you, I said to myself: You are the goal of my life. I want to pursue you and hug you. I want to announce: I love you ... RMB.

87, like you, there is an unspeakable happiness and happiness; There is always good hope for people like you. Do you feel the same as me?

88. If I want to leave this world one day, I hope that the final destination is your arms, so that even if I drink the bowl of Meng Po soup next to Naihe Bridge, I can find you in the afterlife with the memory of your arms.

89. Emergency reminder: There may be tornado weather recently. When you go out, you must take two dumbbells weighing 10 kg with you to avoid being blown to the west by strong winds. Those who weigh less than 50 kilograms must be doubled.

90. I miss you. My acacia grows in the spring rain and dew, like a green vine winding around a tree, and you are an evergreen tree in my heart.

9 1, you are one of my butterflies, and I would like to be your legend in this life; You are my note, and I am willing to be your music score; Reach out your hand and let me give you a lifetime of happiness. Marry me! Love your eyes the most, hiding my deep affection and your gentleness; Love your lips most, share my passion and your infatuation; The person who loves you the most gave you my life and yours! Without you, life is a decoration, there are lifeless sculptures on the street, flowers without fragrance on the table, birds in the sky!

92. I think you are a mobile phone. Every time I make a phone call, you can cling to my face. I think you are just a watch. You can read it at least ten times a day. Dear, I miss you. 1. It is said that a man has to climb three mountains to find a wife. For your fate, can you let me climb two less so that I can catch up with you earlier and wait for your answer? If you don't reply, I will acquiesce in your unconditional consent.

Yesterday, I asked a mosquito to come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, and let it kiss you for me, because now I can't get close to you! It will tell you how much I miss you! You asked me how much I love you? A pimple represents my heart!

I shouldn't have invited you to dinner yesterday! It turned out that the boss said that letting me take charge of the work up and down was not to promote me, but to let me take care of the elevator!

95. Spiders compete for the web. Foreign spiders weave a big web, proud: broadband! China spiders fly around weaving a delicate ornament and say with a smile: A unique combination of heaven and earth, a Chinese knot!

96, several kinds of beauty: the beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying!

97, my wife is a Cao system, but it is very troublesome to install and uninstall; The little secret is the desktop, you can change it every day as long as you are interested; Lover is the internet, the scenery is infinite, and money is constantly spent; Miss is pirated software, remember to kill virus first when using it!

98. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

99. You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your hairy hand! Love! Let's walk upright!

100, break up? I don't want to be entangled with you. We still have a chance to be together in the future. I still like you. Why are you pestering me ... how can I unfasten this seat belt?

10 1. Last night, I was drunk and didn't know the way home. I was in a daze, strayed into the depths of the forest, vomited, vomited, and woke up countless mandarin ducks.

102, don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There will be at most three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

103, I really want to invite you to dinner, but I can't afford to buy white flour without paying my salary because of the water cut during the day and the power cut at night. I turned to Allen for help to find the answer: it turned out to be the primary stage of SHZY, and turned back: damn it, it will remain unchanged for a hundred years! Can I invite you to dinner?

104, Cheating King: Teacher, did you write the examination paper before the exam today?

105. Crickets toot and spiders ask you how your voice has changed. Cricket: I have a cold. The dial tone is wrong. I can't get on. Then the spider suddenly fell down. Cricket: Huh? The broadband is broken, too?

106, if we go back in time, we will all go back to childhood. I will definitely come to play with you, play hide-and-seek with you, make you cry, and then pat your little face to make you laugh. Then I'll hit you ...

107, Landlord Fight: The man stretched out a pair of hands and said: one pair of five; The woman said: a pair of ditches; The man is also * * *, saying: a pair of eggs; The woman took off her bra and said, a pair of tips; The man jumped on the woman and said, a pair of ghosts! Ha ha laugh ... fried!

108, if there are no flowers, spring will be lonely, if there is no * * *, the four seasons will be mediocre, if there is no me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the rabbit will ask, "Who should I compete with?"

109, if a drop of water falls from the sky, it is a tear I miss you; If two drops of water fall from the sky, it is that I love you and am ecstatic; If there are countless water drops in the sky, that is, forget it, it's raining!

1 10, there are several things that are the same: salary and * * *, light will not last long; Taxes are the same as menstruation, and the months are unchanged; Donations and * * * are all to be thought of; Leadership follows, bullying the weak and fearing the hard; Work and * * *, there will be more after it is finished!

1 1 1, I like Teresa Teng, dead; I like Barbara Yung and committed suicide; I like Anita Mui, dead; I like Ka Kui Wong, I fell dead; I like Leslie Cheung, jumping off a building; I like you, do it yourself!

1 12, Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed in the middle of the night, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was surprised and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a gloomy smile, Rejoice is so confident!

1 13, Part I: Hero, single-handedly venturing into the bottomless pit. The second part: the heroine, double-sided attack to capture the cyclops alive. Horizontal recognition: responsive.

1 14, if I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, I can know you for three years and I can cherish you for ten years. For the happiness of my next life, I am willing to … convert to Christianity.

1 15 "Teacher Chen, I heard that your fireworks factory just deducted your salary?" "Depend! The last time I loaded gunpowder, it exploded and I was blown into the air. As a result, the leader said that I didn't work in the air for 6 seconds! "

1 16 I dreamed that you were singing last night! Your singing is very sweet, and your sentimental expression touched me. I almost vowed to love you for 10 thousand years, but I dare not, because you are singing to a donkey: I will be you when I grow up!

Finishing: zhl20 1704