Jokes to make your girlfriend happy, jokes to make your girlfriend happy

1. In every dormitory there is one who grinds his teeth, one who snores, one who talks in his sleep, and one who sleeps the latest but looks at the whole room.

2. I was probably a dog in my last life, otherwise I wouldn’t have been: poor as a dog, ugly as a dog, busy as a dog, tired as a dog, fat as a dog, short as a dog, crying as a dog, freezing as a dog dog.

3. Wife: If Fan Bingbing and I fall into the river one day, who will you save first? Husband: Of course I’ll save you first, she has nothing to do with me! Wife: What if she said she would marry you if you saved him first? Husband: That’s not okay, what if she lies to me. Wife: The real special code guarantees capital security!

4. I read a lot on the Internet about the disadvantages of staying up late. The biggest change for me is that I changed from staying up late happily to staying up late with fear.

5. My wife sent me a text message asking me: Honey, what are you doing? I replied: I’m at work, I’m almost exhausted. When will you be back from your business trip? Her: I’m back. I’m standing behind you. That all-colored beard you had just now was so great! Oh, let me go!

6. Many people say that if you cannot tell your fortune, your fortune will become thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. A fortune teller once told me that at the age of 27, I was wearing a yellow robe, accompanied by delicacies from the mountains and seas every day, and that I had transportation when I went out. Now I'm delivering food at Meituan, and my calculations are so accurate!

7. When my wife saw her son being playful, she said, "Mom, I'm going to test you. If you know how to play, I'll let you play. If you don't know how, you'll give me homework." The wife then asked, "4 plus 16." How much is it?" Son: "20" The wife took out a dollar and said, "It's so smart to figure it out so quickly. I'll give you a dollar to buy some popsicles." Son: "Mom, please ask a few more questions. ! I asked my dad to do the math too.” I felt a sore nose when I heard this. As expected of my son, I felt sorry for my dad’s lack of pocket money.

8. Ideals are like underwear, you must have them, but you can’t just prove to everyone that you have them!

9. When I say "anything", I mean: I'm too lazy to think about it, and I can't think of a good one. Although it's up to you, you must think of me. Only if you are satisfied.

10. A boy and a girl sat together. The girl fell asleep by the window. The boy kissed the girl on the face and the girl woke up. What a beautiful picture, if these two knew each other.

11. Every time I don’t want to study, I look in the mirror and tell myself that if I look like this, I must study hard, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty.

12. The beauty of a woman lies in being so stupid that she has no regrets; the beauty of a man lies in lying so much that he can tell the truth in daylight.

13. I have always believed that I will lose weight, but now I am just gaining weight for fun, but I am having fun while playing.

14. If you are always disappointed, then you should reflect on why you have so much hope.

15. For company dinners, you can bring your significant other. As soon as the boss finished his announcement, Lingling, who was usually silent, spoke. Lingling said weakly: "Can I take someone else's husband?" Everyone in the company was shocked! The boss said: "It stands to reason that the company should not care about your personal issues, but I still remind you not to play with fire and burn yourself." "Oh, just this time. It won't happen next time." Upon hearing this, Lingling quickly picked up her mobile phone and dialed: "Dad, Mom If you’re not at home, don’t cook for yourself. Come over for a company dinner.”

16. Don’t save money when you are at your most beautiful age, otherwise others will not only think you are ugly, You will also think you are poor.

17. People nowadays say they are going to bed, but they just want to lie in bed and play with their mobile phones. If they get up, they just sit on the toilet and play with their mobile phones.

18. If you are really hungry, you can call me and I will chew some snacks for you.

19. I have just graduated and am in my twenties. It’s okay to have a small salary gap. Keep a calm mind, so that when the wage gap becomes wider and wider in your thirties, you will gradually get used to it.

20. The best friend is always the wallet. When it loses weight, we feel extremely distressed.

21. Stop complaining that you can’t find the right person among 1.4 billion people. In the exam, you can’t find the right person among the four multiple-choice questions.

22. After getting up every morning, I will silently encourage myself: You have done such a difficult thing as getting up, what else can trouble you in the next day!

23. Those who are good-looking and like to eat are foodies. Those who are not so good-looking but still like to eat are called foodies!

24. If you have a heart to learn, you will end up failing the exam; if you have a heart to lose weight, you will end up being a foodie. Hengpi: I can’t help myself.